Making Wholeness Possible

Why do we snap, shut down, over-explain, or get defensive?

In this episode of Making Wholeness Possible, we explore how anxiety — not anger — is often driving our reactions. We talk about threats (real and imagined), emotional contagion, and the four common ways we cope when we feel anxious.

If you’ve ever behaved in a way you later regretted, this episode will help you understand why — and what to do instead.

Show Notes

Try This This Week:

• Reflect daily: Where did I react without thinking?• Identify the threat underneath the reaction.• Pause. Calm yourself. Ask better questions.• Choose how you want to show up.

Wholeness begins with awareness.

Dive Deeper:

Faithwalking:

What No One Told You About Life

https://faithwalking.com/what-no-one-told-you-about-life/

Foundations and more

https://www.faithwalking.com

Book Recommendation:

Strong Like Water by Aundi Kolber

https://www.amazon.com/Strong-like-Water-Things-Flourishing/dp/1496454715

Do you react first and regret later?

In this episode of Making Wholeness Possible, we talk about self-regulation — the practice of deciding who you want to be before the moment hits.

Ken shares why self-regulation starts before the hard conversation, how to stop making meaning about what others think, and how to write guiding principles that help you show up with courage, clarity, and respect.

If you’ve ever:

• Avoided a hard conversation

• Felt your anxiety take over in a meeting

• Made up a storyline in your head

• Or wished you’d handled something differently…

This episode will give you practical steps to grow.

Stay curious. Keep practicing. That’s how we make wholeness possible.

SHOW NOTES

Episode 4: Self-Regulation

Self-regulation is about choosing how you want to show up — even when you’re anxious, triggered, or uncomfortable.

Self-regulation is living:

• Intentionally instead of impulsively

• Thoughtfully instead of reactively

• Self-governed instead of externally governed

  
  

Four Practices for Building Self-Regulation

1. Increase Self-Awareness

Ask:

• What triggers me repeatedly?

• What situations make me reactive?

• What storylines do I write in my head?

You can’t regulate what you’re unaware of.

2. Monitor Your Behavior

Notice:

• What happens in your body when you’re triggered?

• Do you shut down internally?

• Do you deflect with humor?

• Do you avoid?

Pay attention without shame. Just observe.

3. Evaluate Your Life

Ask yourself:

• Am I showing up how I want to be known?

• Do my reactions align with my values?

• Where do I have regret?

Honest evaluation leads to growth.

4. Become Self-Governed

Write a guiding principle for moments where you tend to lose yourself.

Ken’s example:

“I welcome hard conversations. In them, I am fully present, highly respectful, and completely honest.”

A guiding principle gives your values a voice when your anxiety wants to take over.

Practical Ways to Work on This Week

Choose one small step:

• Write one guiding principle for a situation that regularly triggers you.

• Practice noticing when you’re making meaning about someone else’s behavior.

• Pause in a tense moment and ask: “Who do I want to be right now?”

Nobody can do this work for you. But you don’t have to do it alone. Stay curious. Keep practicing.That’s how wholeness is made possible.

SHOW NOTESEpisode 4: Self-RegulationFour Practices for Building Self-Regulation1. Increase Self-Awareness2. Monitor Your Behavior3. Evaluate Your Life4. Become Self-GovernedPractical Ways to Work on This Week

Self-awareness is more than knowing your strengths or personality type.

It’s noticing your triggers. It’s understanding your patterns. It’s identifying the threats beneath your reactions.

In this episode, Chad Crawford joins us to share his journey from surface-level awareness to deeper awareness — especially in the areas of anger, anxiety, leadership, and agency.

We discuss:

• The two levels of self-awareness • How pain can become a catalyst for growth • Why anger is often the fruit and anxiety the root • What agency looks like in the moment • The power of self-compassion in emotional growth

If you’ve ever wondered why you keep reacting the same way — this conversation offers clarity and practical next steps.

SHOW NOTES

In Episode 2 of Making Wholeness Possible, Danae and Ken talk about personal responsibility—what it really is, what it isn’t, and why both over-responsibility and under-responsibility keep us from living fully.

Through real-life stories and practical tools, they explore how taking appropriate responsibility helps us reclaim agency, reduce burnout, and grow in emotional maturity. This episode offers simple questions you can use right away to stop carrying what isn’t yours, own your role honestly, and move toward greater freedom and wholeness.

If you’ve ever felt stuck, resentful, or exhausted from doing too much—or frustrated by others not taking responsibility—this conversation is for you.

This is Making Wholeness Possible with Danae Labocki and Ken Shuman.In this first episode, we lay the foundation of what emotional maturity actually is, why it matters in real life, and share one simple practice you can try this week to grow—without pressure, perfection, or beating yourself up in the process.