Manalizing

Her husband collapsed beside her while cutting a tree. In minutes, the life she loved was gone — and she had to learn what to do when the world stops.

Chaco Fairbanks isn’t a man, but her story speaks to every man who’s ever loved deeply and lost hard.

Nine months ago, her husband Cody died suddenly while they were remodeling a house in the Smoky Mountains.

In this conversation, she walks us through that day — the CPR, the hospital, the silence afterward — and what grief really feels like when the shock wears off.

Chaco talks about guilt, faith, what to say (and not say) to someone who’s grieving, and why the worst thing you can do is “give them space.”

She opens up about learning to live again, traveling, finding meaning, and making decisions that point toward the future without letting go of the past.

This is one of the most tender and needed episodes we’ve ever recorded.

It’s not about death — it’s about love, presence, and how to keep breathing when half your world is gone.

Sudden death, CPR discussion, trauma, grief, survivor’s guilt, references to suicidal thoughts in others.

• The day everything changed — and how she handled it minute by minute
• “Give them space” is the worst advice
• What real support looks like when someone’s grieving
• Why crying is healthy — and silence isn’t
• How she started living again, one decision at a time
• The guilt, the therapy, and the slow return of hope
• Love that’s fierce enough to still echo every day
• “The worst thing people did was give me space. I needed voices, not silence.”
• “You don’t get over someone like that. You just learn to carry them differently.”
• “I talk to him at night. Maybe he hears me, maybe he doesn’t — but I do.”
• “Life is precious. Don’t wait to love the people you love.”

Chaco Fairbanks, sudden death, widowhood, grief recovery, CPR story, losing a spouse, survivor’s guilt, emotional healing, therapy after loss, Jewish mourning tradition, sitting Shiva, women’s perspective, men supporting widows, crying and vulnerability, Manalizing podcast, Garth Haslem

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — dial 988 (U.S.)
• Local grief-support or widows’ groups
• Manalizing.com — join a tribe, learn to lift and be lifted

If Chaco’s story touched you, share this episode with someone who’s lost someone — or someone who’s afraid to reach out.

Then visit Manalizing.com and find a tribe.

No one should have to carry loss alone.

A former helicopter pilot turned home inspector opens up about his near-suicide moment in Hawaii, rebuilding his marriage, and learning that real strength means letting others help.

Beau Brown was living the dream—flying helicopters in Hawaii, a career most men would envy. But behind the views and the paycheck was a man quietly breaking down. His marriage was falling apart, his family was slipping away, and one night he found himself sitting on a guardrail with a six-pack and a bag of Twinkies, wondering if anyone would care if he didn’t make it home.

In this powerful conversation, Beau opens up about that night, the voice that told him he wasn’t enough, and how he found his way back from the edge. He shares how he lost 70 pounds, rebuilt his family, and built a thriving business by doing what most men never do—asking for help.

We talk about the real cost of chasing money, how social media became both a tool for growth and connection, and what it means to find your worth beyond your job or your broken truck.

If you’ve ever felt like your life was falling apart, Beau’s story will remind you: you’re not your broken things—and you don’t have to fix yourself alone.

Suicidal ideation, emotional breakdown, divorce, substance use, self-worth struggles.

• From Hawaii helicopter pilot to Utah home inspector
• The night on the guardrail with a six-pack and a decision
• How losing everything led to rebuilding everything
• The truth about men, money, and self-worth
• “You’re not your broken things” — finding peace through purpose
• Why it’s never weak to ask for help

• “I realized I wasn’t my broken truck. I was just a man having a hard week.”
• “When everything around me was broken, I thought that meant I was too.”
• “The hardest thing I’ve learned is that being strong doesn’t mean being alone.”
• “War, divorce, broken engines—it’s all the same lesson. Find the silver lining.”

Bo Brown, helicopter pilot Hawaii, home inspector Utah, men’s mental health, suicidal thoughts, near suicide recovery, self-worth, masculinity, brokenness, family healing, rebuilding marriage, social media growth, fatherhood, depression, men talking openly, Manalizing podcast

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — dial 988 (U.S.)
• Manalizing.com — join a tribe, tell your story, and be heard
• CNH Inspections / @HomeInspectorSaltLake — Bo’s work and media presence

If Beau’s story hit home, share this episode with one man who needs to hear it. Then go to Manalizing.com and find your tribe.

You don’t have to fix everything alone.

A former Army combat medic fights nightmares, family court, and the silence at home—and finds purpose in fatherhood and helping other vets.

Mark Bartholomew spent 13 months in Iraq’s Sadr City and the Triangle of Death as a combat medic. He came home with blood still caked on his boots—and a brain and nervous system rewired by war. In this raw conversation, Mark opens up about treating civilians and soldiers alike, the nightmare that still visits him, and the years he tried to outrun sleep with alcohol. He shares how an elderly VA counselor, a pit bull named Daisy, and a room full of Vietnam vets pulled him back from the edge. We also go straight at the civilian battles: divorce, the “silver bullet” of family court, losing daily contact with his son, and rebuilding a life as a present, purpose-driven dad. If you or someone you love has ever wondered why the mission doesn’t end on the flight home, this episode will land hard—and offer a way through.

PTSD, war trauma, graphic injury references, suicidal ideation, substance abuse, family-court conflict.

• Blood on the boots: triage in urban combat
• Why “coming home is the hard part”
• Daisy the service dog and the first real turn upward
• Group therapy that actually saves lives
• The civilian war: divorce, custody, identity
• Finding purpose: from medic to mentor, from pain to fatherhood

• “War was the easy part. Coming home—that was the hard part.”
• “Group therapy saved my life. Those men became my uncles.”
• “When everything felt out of control, suicide felt like the one thing I could control.”

combat medic, Sadr City, Triangle of Death, Iraq War stories, PTSD recovery, traumatic brain injury, VA counseling, Vet Center group therapy, veteran suicide prevention, service dog Daisy, father’s rights, family court “silver bullet,” men’s mental health, sobriety, purpose and fatherhood, Manalizing podcast

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (US) — dial 988
• Local Vet Center (VA community counseling for combat vets & MST survivors)
• Manalizing — join a tribe; lift and be lifted

If Mark’s story hit home, share this episode with one man who needs it. Then join us at Manalizing—find a tribe, tell your story, and help another man tell his.

Lauren Bush has lived through what most of us can’t even imagine — and come out the other side with fire, grace, and truth that men need to hear.

In this raw and powerful conversation, we talk about what it means to heal after sexual abuse, how trauma passes through generations, why hurt people hurt people, and how a man can love and protect a woman who’s been through hell.

Lauren doesn’t hold back, and neither do we. This is about courage, empathy, and the work it takes to stop the cycle — in ourselves, our families, and our sons and daughters.

If you’ve ever wondered how to show up when someone you love is carrying invisible scars… this episode will change how you see pain, love, and strength.

manalizing podcast, men’s mental health, trauma recovery, sexual abuse awareness, PTSD in marriage, fatherhood, protecting daughters, breaking generational trauma, empathy for men, healing after abuse, testosterone and depression, pornography addiction, dopamine and behavior, emotional healing, Bruce Lipton, the biology of belief, hurt people hurt people, men’s healing conversations, Garth Haslem podcast, Lauren Bush interview

When grief detonates, the blast doesn’t stop at one life.

Former Utah County deputy Dennis Harris sits down with Garth Haslem to tell the story he’s spent decades learning to say out loud: his 15-year-old daughter died by suicide with his duty weapon. What followed was shock, isolation, a family blown into survival-mode “islands,” years of therapy, and a long crawl back toward each other. Dennis shares how talking—really talking—became the pressure valve that kept them from exploding, why he built a safety device named after his daughter, and the night he nearly ended his own life… until his kids pulled him back.

This is a conversation about loss, love, and the quiet decision to keep living.

Highlights

• County vs. city policing—and the loneliness of the job
• 1998: the day everything changed, and what grief did to the family
• “Trash compactor men”: why silence turns into shrapnel
• Paying for therapy—and why conversation still heals fastest
• Building a gun lock in his daughter’s name
• The darkest night, the duty gun, and the moment of choosing to stay
• How sons and daughters save their dads—and how dads can show up

If you’re struggling: In the U.S., call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline). You’re not alone.

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Manalizing: where men talk about the things men don’t talk about.

men’s mental health, suicide loss, survivor of suicide, law enforcement, fatherhood, grief, family healing, therapy, coping with loss, gun safety, resilience, masculinity, Utah County, Provo, Manalizing podcast, Garth Haslem, Dennis Harris

#MensMentalHealth #SuicidePrevention #SurvivorOfSuicide #Fatherhood #LawEnforcement #Grief #Resilience #Manalizing

When the courts, the silence, and the empty house all close in, what does a man do?

Chris Rexwell —a father, veteran, and Alaskan native—talks with Garth Haslem about what it’s like to lose your child for eight months, to come home to nothing but echoes, and to somehow find your footing again. From court battles and controlling partners to rediscovering purpose through service, Chris’s story is about the quiet resilience it takes to keep going when every instinct tells you to give up.

They talk about loneliness, identity, masculinity, and the fight to be a present dad when the system and life itself seem stacked against you. This episode is a survival guide for any man rebuilding after loss.

Highlights:

• Losing access to his son for eight months

• Fighting for equal custody and finally winning

• The silence of living alone after divorce

• Freedom vs. control — learning to breathe again

• Finding healing through service, family, and purpose

• What men learn in the dark that they can’t learn in the light

If you’re struggling: In the U.S., call or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

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Manalizing: where men talk about the things men don’t talk about.

men’s mental health, fatherhood, custody battles, divorce recovery, loneliness, isolation, masculinity, emotional resilience, veteran fathers, parental alienation, men’s support, co-parenting, healing after divorce, rebuilding life, freedom, purpose, Alaska, Manalizing podcast, Garth Haslem, Chris Adams

Hashtags:

#MensMentalHealth #Fatherhood #DivorceRecovery #Loneliness #CustodyBattle #Masculinity #Resilience #Manalizing

What happens when a man decides he’s done living alone—and starts building a brotherhood instead?

In this heartfelt conversation, Jade Mollendorf, founder of Spherical Man, joins Garth Haslem to talk about the loneliness, silence, and strength that shape modern men. From divorce and fatherhood to personal growth and purpose, Jade’s story is about choosing connection over isolation and courage over conformity.

He shares how one golf trip with friends became a global men’s movement—teaching guys to be spherical: balanced, whole, and unafraid to live outside the box. Together, Garth and Jade dig into hard topics—masculinity, shame, loneliness, faith, and what it takes to truly rebuild when life falls apart.

This episode is a reminder that brotherhood isn’t just nice to have—it’s survival.

Highlights:

• The origins of Spherical Man and why men need safe spaces

• Divorce, silence, and rediscovering self-worth

• What real masculinity means (and what it doesn’t)

• Learning to be both strong and gentle

• The epidemic of male loneliness and how to fight it

• Building tribes, brotherhood, and second acts

If you’re struggling: In the U.S., call or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

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Manalizing: where men talk about the things men don’t talk about.

men’s mental health, brotherhood, masculinity, divorce recovery, single fathers, fatherhood, men’s groups, vulnerability, loneliness, depression, resilience, self-discovery, leadership, emotional intelligence, male bonding, friendship, personal growth, self-worth, toxic masculinity, overcoming shame, rebuilding life, Manalizing podcast, Spherical Man, Jade Mollendorf, Garth Haslem

Hashtags:

#MensMentalHealth #Brotherhood #Masculinity #DivorceRecovery #Fatherhood #Resilience #Loneliness #Manalizing

Some men swing a hammer. Some build websites. Buck Hedges does both—then saddles a horse, rides into the hills, and thinks deeply about what it means to be a man.

In this grounded, heartfelt conversation, Buck and Garth talk about hard things: loneliness, bullying, anger, marriage, faith, and the slow work of learning how to communicate when no one ever taught you how. From ranch life to IT work, from explosions and loss to laughter and love, Buck’s story reminds us that courage isn’t the absence of fear—it’s what you do with it.

This is cowboy wisdom for the modern man.

Highlights:

• Growing up homeschooled on remote ranches

• Being bullied and learning invisibility

• The explosion that leveled his house—and what went right

• Losing a foster son and learning to forgive

• Anger management and learning to communicate

• Marriage, humility, and the power of showing up

If you’re struggling: In the U.S., call or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

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Manalizing: where men talk about the things men don’t talk about.

men’s mental health, masculinity, rural life, ranch life, cowboy wisdom, anger management, marriage communication, bullying recovery, fatherhood, foster care, forgiveness, resilience, overcoming fear, trauma recovery, gas explosion survival, emotional intelligence, self-awareness, loneliness, faith, humility, Manalizing podcast, Garth Haslem, Buck Hedges

Hashtags:

#MensMentalHealth #Masculinity #Resilience #CowboyWisdom #Fatherhood #Marriage #Forgiveness #Manalizing

Joe DeVito shouldn’t be here. After childhood trauma, an intentional overdose, and years lost to addiction, he walked five miles to detox and rebuilt his life from the inside out. Today he coaches men through shadow work, boundaries, initiation, and conscious fatherhood. We talk: the “golden shadow,” why assertiveness prevents rage, how absence (not just physical) wounds kids, and why purpose is buried beneath the parts of us we reject. This isn’t theory. It’s hard-won wisdom for men who are done pretending and ready to lead.

Guest: Joe DeVito — Sovereign Man | joedevitocoaching.com

Host: Garth Haslem, Manalizing

04:12 Childhood loss, the “class clown” mask, and Robin Williams syndrome

13:40 Addiction, intentional overdose… and the walk to detox

21:05 Shadow work 101: the parts we deny & the “golden shadow”

31:18 Boundaries vs. abuse; how assertiveness earns respect

40:55 Conscious Fatherhood: raising emotionally intelligent kids

52:10 Initiation & rites of passage for young men

59:30 Legacy: breaking cycles & redefining success

• “Grief is just love with nowhere to go.”
• “Purpose hides in the parts of you you’ve rejected.”
• “Assertiveness is how men prevent rage.”
• “I didn’t need another hustle. I needed a mirror.”
• “My kids don’t need a perfect father—they need a present one.”

men’s mental health, shadow work, masculinity, conscious fatherhood, addiction recovery, male initiation, boundaries and respect, emotional intelligence for men, men’s coaching, overcoming divorce/trauma

• “Purpose isn’t found on a vision board—it’s buried in the parts of you you refuse to face.”
• “Men don’t rage when they’re respected. They rage when they don’t assert boundaries.”
• “He shot enough heroin to kill three people—and woke up ready to walk to detox.”

• Shadow work explained: the unconscious parts we reject—and the “golden shadow” inside them
• Why ‘nice guy’ patterns invite disrespect, and how assertiveness changes it
• Conscious Fatherhood: empathy, open communication, and modeling feelings/needs
• Rites of passage: giving young men a real initiation into responsibility
• Legacy ≠ money. It’s breaking cycles so your kids don’t have to

If this podcast hit for you, share it with one man who needs it. Join a Manalizing tribe, and keep the armor off a little longer.

You think you know what it means to be a man—until you meet Jason Christensen.

He’s the kind of dad who teaches his sons to fight him, to think for themselves, and to tell women they’re beautiful. He’s also a divorced father who walked through heartbreak, failure, and faith—and came out knowing exactly who he is.

In this raw, hilarious, and deeply honest episode, Garth and Jason dive into everything from fatherhood to divorce, masculine energy to vulnerability, spiritual awakening to the real meaning of heaven. Jason talks about the pain of being told “don’t tell me about your day,” the cost of hiding your needs, and how his divorce became the crucible that forged a truer man.

This is an episode about strength, humility, and the kind of honesty that saves lives.

Highlights:

• Teaching sons to be men through play, pain, and initiation

• What “being too appropriate” misses about healthy masculinity

• The power a woman holds to heal—or destroy—a man

• Divorce, despair, and the rebuilding that follows

• Learning to say, “That doesn’t work for me”

• Why the hardest times can become your greatest teachers

If you’re struggling: In the U.S., call or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

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Manalizing: where men talk about the things men don’t talk about.

men’s mental health, fatherhood, masculinity, divorce recovery, LDS faith, emotional honesty, vulnerability for men, raising sons, healthy masculinity, spiritual awakening, depression recovery, family healing, marriage, male initiation, strength and softness, armor metaphor, resilience, parenting boys, heartbreak recovery, personal growth, faith, Manalizing podcast, Garth Haslem, Jason Christensen

Hashtags:

#MensMentalHealth #Fatherhood #DivorceRecovery #Masculinity #Vulnerability #Faith #Resilience #Parenting #Manalizing