Are we just close friends — or something more?

In this episode, Ted and Patrick dive into the grey areas of modern dating and masculinity, sparked by real questions from our listeners. We unpack what it means when emotional chemistry feels like more than friendship, how to deal with dating burnout, and the unspoken fears many men have around sexual inexperience and insecurity.

Whether you're stuck in the friend zone, tired of being the only one putting in effort, or wrestling with body count anxiety — this one's for you.

Show Notes

Cera Gibson clip credit @ceradaddygibson https://www.youtube.com/shorts/3dFHa31qxQ8

Come as You Are - Book by Emily Nagoski

Follow us on our Socials:

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLzsGH4hM9TxHC4hHPvgMJwX: https://x.com/ManDownPodcastBluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:lm4shifbvs6k63eb54k2gmhoInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/mandown.podcast/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mandownpodcast

Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

00:04 Episode Intro

01:14 Reader comment #1 People-Pleasing

08:03 Is the Friend Zone Really a Problem?

01:47 Reader comment #2 Navigating Emotional Intimacy With Friendship

09:51 Reader comment #3 Taking Breaks from Romance and Focusing on Self

11:05 Comment Part 1: Dating Burnout

13:33 Comment Part 2: Dating Expectations vs Reality

16:39 How Ted Approaches Dating

17:50 Cheap Date Ideas

18:32 Don’t put some much pressure on yourself

19:50 Ted’s Two Low-Key Date Ideas

21:37 Rejection Feels Better When You’re True to Yourself

22:27 Reader comment #4 Body Count

24:00 Inexperienced Doesn’t Mean Inadequate

31:08 Why Bigger Isn’t Always Better

38:22 Reader comment #5 Friendship Fallout

41:03 Patrick’s Tips on How To Approach Repairing Broken Friendships

41:52 Ted Thoughts on Approaching Broken Friendships

47:31 Outro

48:31 Broll (Impressions, Accents and Nostalgia)

Why does dating feel so much harder for men today? In this episode, Ted and Patrick dive into the hidden struggles men face in the age of dating apps and swipe culture — from feeling invisible and overlooked, to battling confusing “rules” and social atrophy that’s making real connection almost impossible.

They break down why dating apps, instead of helping, might actually be making us worse at connecting — and why so many men feel lost and unsure of who to be in modern dating. If you’ve ever felt frustrated by ghosting, “confirm the date” pressures, or just the overwhelming noise of digital romance, this episode is for you.

Finally, they also explore how distorted ideas of masculinity are shaping men’s experiences — and what real, meaningful connection could look like in today’s world.

Show Notes:

slutstack article referenced in the episode https://sluts.substack.com/p/play-stupid-games-win-stupid-prizesJohn Mulaney credit WIRED 2018 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psbIKH5tqiM

Timestamps:

00:00 Welcome Intro

00:11 Episode Intro

01:06 Challenges of Real-Life Connection in the Dating World

03:07 The Decline of Dating Apps and Social Engagement

07:11 Why Everyone Feels Like an NPC

12:47 Social Media Controversies in Dating Culture

17:00 Navigating Compatibility and Blind Dates

18:38 The Role of Community in Dating

22:20 Masculinity and the Modern Man

26:00 Gentleness and Emotional Intelligence

30:00 Creating Opportunities for Connection

33:46 Respecting Boundaries and Self-Worth

35:40 The Human Connection in Online Dating

36:44 Tate, the Manosphere, and Faux Masculinity

38:40 Our Real Enemy: Simplistic, Misogynistic Thinking

40:00 What Is a Good Man Anymore?

40:53 Make Yourself the Product — Then Choose Wisely

41:03 Let People Fail You — Then Set Boundaries

42:11 Know Your Value, But Stay Humble

43:27 Do Men Mature Into Tenderness?

44:22 Personal Development and Relationships

46:40 Understanding Fatherhood and Self-Forgiveness

48:26 Finding Role Models and Intentional Living

51:05 Outro

51:38 Broll (Exploring Celebrity Crushes and Kinks, fun vs funny)

In this episode, Ted and Patrick answer listener questions about careers, dating, and meaning.

They dive into the frustration of being stuck in a 9-5 with no clear path forward, the emotional toll of job rejections despite having degrees, and the disconnect between achievement and fulfilment.

They also unpack one of the biggest unspoken fears: how to actually approach women — not just with confidence, but with intention.

 00:00 Intro 

01:23 Question #1 Emotional Expression & Empathy Gap

08:14 Question #2 Finding Purpose With Work

08:29 The Upsides of a 9-5 Job

09:16 Finding Meaning and Fulfilment Beyond Work

11:29 Question #3 Navigating the Job Market

13:08 Find Work That Feels Like Play

14:15 Are Degrees Worth It?

15:31 Current Job Market Realities
17:51 Question #4 How To Approach Women

22:35 Outro (Give Us Feedback!)

In this episode, Ted and Patrick unpack the blurry line between confidence and arrogance. They explore what it means to build real confidence—not just perform it—and how to root it in genuine self-worth. Drawing from their experiences as public voices in football commentary, they ask: How do you know when you’re veering into arrogance? What does it take to stay grounded while still backing yourself? From handling criticism to building inner systems for self-belief, this is a sharp, honest conversation about identity, feedback, and the work of becoming truly self-assured.

Show Notes:

The Transfer Flow newsletter referenced in the episode

https://www.thetransferflow.com/p/be-intellectually-honest-but-f-ck-a-hater-89d0

Follow us on our Socials:

Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

01:43 Why Patrick and Ted’s Football Takes Get Called Arrogant

02:48 Defining Self-Worth, Confidence and Arrogance

04:13 Why Ted Responded to Arrogance Criticism: Cultural Clashes & Track Record Explained

09:28 Patrick Shares His Perspective on Being Labeled Arrogant 

11:28 Ted’s Reply to Criticism — Featured in the TransferFlow Newsletter
14:58 Abilities vs. Qualities: The Arrogance Line

16:00 What does it mean to be self-confident?

19:38 The Roots of Ted’s Self-Confidence

22:06 It’s Okay to Fail — Your Worth Isn’t Defined by One Outcome

24:30 Confidence grows from self-worth

27:00 Expertise vs. Overconfidence

29:35 We learn self-worth at school, but not how to explore it.

29:50 We all share the same journey of failure and growth.

30:18 How Patrick earned the right to claim more confidence
31:50 Ted’s Advice on Confidence 

35:20 Patrick’s Take: Internal Qualities and Self-Worth

38:38 Social Media: Where Toxicity Meets Opportunity

41:40 Low Self-Worth: Influences & Inner Voice

46:30 Two Paths After Arrogance: Denial or Growth

47:40 Ted on Dismissing Earned Praise and Compliments

52:39 Why Some People Struggle to Accept Compliments

55:00 Patrick’s Struggle With Praise and Self-Worth

56:40 How to Respond When Your Partner Rejects a Compliment
57:30 Why Working on Your Self-Worth Matters

58:52 Patrick’s Thoughts on Being Called Arrogant

1:02:19 Ted on Constantly Growing His Expertise

1:04:34 Patrick on Saying ‘I Don’t Know’

1:07:20 Tips for Rebuilding Self-Talk and Setting Boundaries

1:16:55 Wrap-Up & Reflections

1:19:12 Outro 

1:19:27 Broll 

Avoiding hard conversations can hold you back in your relationships, career, and personal growth. In this episode, Ted and Patrick dive into practical frameworks to help you start and navigate those tough talks with confidence — without losing your cool or shutting down.

You’ll learn:

- Why we resist difficult conversations and how to overcome it

- How to mentally prepare before the talk to minimise emotional triggers

- What to say, what not to say, and how to express yourself clearly

- How to stay calm and listen actively, even when things get tense

- Ways to reflect on the outcomes and decide your next steps

Whether it’s about money, family, or your relationship, this episode is for anyone who’s been avoiding “that talk.” Real change starts with speaking your truth — and we’re here to guide you through it.

Follow us on our Socials -

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLzsGH4hM9TxHC4hHPvgMJwX: https://x.com/ManDownPodcastBluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:lm4shifbvs6k63eb54k2gmhoInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/mandown.podcast/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mandownpodcast

Timestamps:

In this episode, Ted and Patrick dive into the relationship opinions no one wants to admit — but everyone needs to hear.

From the myth of the “spark” on the first date to body count, casual sex, and whether men and women can really just be friends — we’re unpacking the unpopular takes that actually make sense when you look a little closer.

If you’re tired of surface-level dating advice and want something real, intentional, and honest — this one’s for you.

Follow us on our Socials:

Timestamps:

0:00 Intro

00:50 Unpopular Opinion #1 Cut Ties with Your Ex Before You Date

02:49 Unpopular Opinion #2 Men and Women Can’t Be Just Friends

09:48 The Versions of Ourselves We Close Off

11:57 Parenting and Personal Identity

14:13 When Your Toddler Repeats the Unrepeatable

15:26 Unpopular Opinion #3 Losing Your Virginity Is Overhyped

22:00 Unpopular Opinion #4 Expecting spark on first date

24:00 Signs There’s a Spark on a Date

25:45 Reasons/causes of no spark on first date - why you should give a person a second chance

27:45 First Impressions & Attraction

29:00 Passive vs Active Dating

32:11 Unpopular Opinion #5 If It’s Not a Special Occasion, Go Half

33:37 Unpopular Opinion #6 There Is One Person for Everyone

35:40 Unpopular Opinion #7 If It’s Right, It Will Be Easy

38:47 Unpopular Opinion #8 High Body Count? I’m Out

43:00 How Important is the Number?

48:33 Bonus Unpopular Opinion

48:15 The $15k Girlfriend: When Dating Gets Transactional

48:38 Old School vs. New School: Dating as a Marketplace

49:13 Patrick filling Ted’s emotional hole

49:50 Dating, But Make It a Business Deal

52:24 Marriage Math: What Is a Stay-at-Home Parent Worth?

53:38 Talking Money, Kids & Roles — Before Marriage

58:50 Love Can’t Be an Equation — Can It?

59:20 It’s Not Romance — It’s Strategy

1:00:20 The Dynamics of Financial Support in Relationships

1:05:40 The Complexity of Emotional and Financial Support

1:08:29 When Sex Work Enters the Relationship Zone

1:09:15 Relationships Are Never 50/50

1:12:37 Outro (send us your questions!)

What if your clothes weren’t just about looking good — but about being seen?

In this episode, Ted and Patrick dive deep into the intersection of fashion, masculinity, and identity. Why do so many men keep it muted, minimal, and safe — and why does anything beyond that feel off-limits?

They explore:

The fear of standing out vs. the desire to be respected

The myth of “I’ll dress better once I’m in shape”

How minimalism became the emotional safe zone for men

Why style is still seen as feminine unless you’re famous or jacked

And how dressing well can change your self-image — even if you’re a dad with no time

Also: watches, knits, trainers, and why you don’t need to be stylish to start caring about style.

This isn’t about trends. It’s about ownership. Of your look, your energy, and your right to feel good in your skin.

Follow us on our Socials:YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLzsGH4hM9TxHC4hHPvgMJwX: https://x.com/ManDownPodcastBluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:lm4shifbvs6k63eb54k2gmhoInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/mandown.podcast/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mandownpodcast

Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

 00:45 Fashion and Masculinity: How Menswear Got Deep

01:47 Expressing Yourself Through What You Wear

05:05 When Clothes Feel Like a Spotlight: Fear of Being Seen

06:16 Minimalism: Love or Loathe? 

08:28 How Dressing Well Became an Act of Self-Respect

10:39 What Set Ted on His Style Path

12:10 Body Image and Clothing Choices

14:51 Why Good Shape Doesn’t Equal Good Style

15:30 The Awkward Phase of Teen Fashion

15:57 Ted’s Cashmere Hoodie: Casual Meets Class

16:40 Practical Fashion: Finding Joy in Dressing Well

18:37 Breaking Free from ‘Minimalism’ and Embracing Expression

19:54 Elevated Basics & The Myth of Effortless Style

21:26 The Thrifting Experience 

25:23 When Style Meets Sustainability

28:00 Why Men’s Fashion Can Feel Like a Body-Shaming Club

30:03 Cultural Influences on Fashion Choices

30:50 Finding Your Unique Look and Owning It

33:30 How to Peacock Subtly: Suits, Ties, and Statement Pieces

36:18 Why Knitwear Is Worth the Investment

37:08 Ted’s Watch Collection

41:44 Ted’s Favourite Shoes

43:33 Fashion as Personal Expression 

45:00 Breaking the Mold: Dressing Outside Traditional Masculine Silhouettes

45:48 The Danger of Getting Hooked on Watches & Sneakers

47:03 Why Dropping 30K on Brunello Cuccinelli Is a Pose

47:33 Outerwear: The First Step into Men’s Fashion

48:22 Male Fashion: More Than Just Trousers and T-Shirts

48:30 Breaking Down Men’s Jewelry Preferences

50:24 Ted’s Leather Bomber Quest

50:38 Ted’s Top Knitwear Picks and Brand Recommendations

56:12 Why Thrifted Knitwear & Vintage Coats Are Worth It

01:01:53 Ted’s Thrifting Adventures with a Model

01:02:55 Patrick’s Simple Trick for Finding Quality Fabrics

01:04:02 When Fashion Talk Turns to Rap

01:07:05 Practical Thrifting Tips

01:13:00 Ted and Patrick: London Meet Up

01:14:52 Patrick & Ted on Comfort, Confidence & Having Fun With Clothes

01:15:15 Finding Your Style: Embracing Individuality in Fashion

01:22:12 Exploring Fashion Beyond Gender Norms & Finding Your Personal Style

01:23:24 Outro

In this episode, Ted and Patrick explore the important topic of male anger and masculinity. Feeling angry is completely normal—and it can actually be useful.

Anger isn’t just something to fear or bottle up. It’s a powerful signal that something needs your attention. But many men struggle to express it in healthy ways, which can lead to either shutting it down or letting it explode in damaging ways.

Ted and Patrick break down the anger cycle, explain why many hide their anger behind other feelings, and share practical, constructive tips to help you manage anger without losing control or hurting the people around you.

If you want to understand your anger and learn how to work with it, this episode is for you.

Follow us on our Socials:

Timestamps-

00:00 Intro

00:29 Growing Up with Anger

02:15 The Two Types of Anger: Feeling It Too Much or None at All

02:40 Ted Reflects on His Own Anger and Emotional Growth

03:20 Realising You Don’t Have to Bottle Emotions Up

04:00 How Fatherhood Changed Ted’s View on Anger

04:33 Anger is Normal and Healthy Emotion

05:10 The Problem Isn’t Anger, It’s Control

06:10 Men Report More Anger—But Seek Less Help

06:27 Verbal Aggression Isn’t Just a Male Thing

06:40 Uncontrolled Anger Peaks in Young Adulthood

07:30 The Long-Term Cost of Persistent Anger

08:44 Self-immolation as expression

09:30 Would You Rather Be Right or Influential?

11:15 Anger into Influence: Ted's Practical Walkthrough

14:14 Breaking Down The Anger Cycle

17:22 Reclaiming Power by Choosing Not to React

18:30 The Fuel Behind the Fire: Understanding What Triggers You

20:20 Why Anger Can Feel Like Power and Addiction

23:00 When Anger Becomes a Weapon and a Source of Identity

24:58 Understanding Anger as a Normal Emotion

25:45 The Gender Dynamics of Anger

26:30 Processing Anger and Apologies

29:40 Unresolved Anger in Relationships

31:28 The Concept of Closure in Relationships

34:30 The Art of Setting Boundaries with People Who Don’t Change

37:13 The Dangers of Repressed Anger

39:00 Childhood Experiences Shape How Deal With Anger

40:22 Scared of Letting Anger Out

41:30 Conflict as a Path to Growth

43:00 Navigating Disagreements Constructively

44:40 Signs Repressing Anger

45:40 Accepting Emotions and Finding Balance

49:00 Constructive Concepts

1:02:33 Outro

In this episode, Ted and Patrick answer your questions — from diet scams and supplement lies to what happens when you fall for someone you can’t be with. They then react to a Reddit thread and share their insights and opinions on the authors’ posts. It opens up a raw conversation about money, career sacrifice, power dynamics, and what fairness really looks like in modern relationships. 

AITA thread:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/d7b5e1/aita_for_calling_off_my_wedding_because_my_stbh/

00:00 Intro

01:18 Diet and Fitness Lies - Reader Question #1 

01:39 Why Dieting Feels Impossible for Some People

02:07 Ozempic & Wegovy: The New ‘Cheat Code’ for Willpower?

03:12 The Dark Side of Keto

03:29 Cutting Through Diet Scams: Focus on Protein

04:42 Patrick & Ted’s Go-To Protein Shakes

08:25 Increase Your Fibre Intake

08:52 Ditch the Diet Myths: Focus on Protein and Real Food

09:58 No More Cheat Meals: Balance Your Diet Without Guilt

11:07 Healthy Habits: Meal Prep & Consistency

12:35 Fasting, Willpower Hacks & How to Beat Soda Cravings

14:23 No Magic Bullets: Real Talk on Supplements 

15:02 Huel and Protein Shakes to Stop Snack Attacks

16:00 Build Your Routine Slowly

16:35 Ted’s ‘Boy Dinner’ & Finding What Works for You

17:14 The Truth About Sugar-Free Sodas

18:11 Food Prep, Fitness, and Self-Compassion

19:20 Listen to Your Body

20:34 Are You Absorbing Vitamin D?

20:50 What Salt Cravings Really Mean

21:46 Cravings as Your Body’s Natural Signals

24:00 Keep It Simple: Basics Before Complexity in Fitness & Diet

26:15 Letting Go of One-Sided Love - Reader Question #2

27:27 Focus on Those Who Choose You

29:12 Moving on from Unrequited Love

30:53 Letting Go to Grow

32:49 Balancing Cost and Effort in Relationships - Reader Question #3
39:43 Prenups & Financial Conversations - Reddit Question

43:30 Trust and Tough Conversations in Love

51:30 Outro (Subscribe, Comment, Follow us on social media)

In this episode, Ted and Patrick talk about how the fear of being “cringe” is keeping you from real connection—and why embracing romance might be the most powerful choice you make.

Romance isn’t weakness. It’s intention. It’s action. It’s courage. And it has nothing to do with clichés—unless those clichés matter to you.

This is about showing up fully. Because the moment you stop performing and start caring, everything changes.

Follow us on our Socials:

Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

01:40 Defining Romance and Its Misconceptions

08:01 The Research Behind Romance and Relationships

16:17 Societal Views on Romance and Cringe

20:04 Ted’s Take on Love and Romance from Experience

22:53 Why Romance Isn’t a ‘Cheat Code’ in Relationships

25:40 The Importance of Romance in Relationships

28:40 Why Cringe is Killing Authenticity

29:50 Embracing Awkwardness for Growth

35:55 Rejecting Cringe and Embracing Authenticity

37:27 Attentiveness: The Foundation of Real Connection

41:05 Maintaining Attentiveness in Long-Term Relationships

47:54 Ted's Cringe-Worthy Romance Story

54:04 The Right Gift Is a Lesson in Who They Are

55:07 Patrick's Top 3 Tips on How to Reignite the Spark

1:02:04 #2 Show You Care

1:07:13 #3 Break Your Habits

1:08:48 Ted's 2 Sexy Habits That Build Intimacy

1:12:38 Embrace Vulnerability and Rejecting Cringe

1:15:20 Outro (Follow us on Social Media)