We begin with the principle (the fact) that the narcissist's words and actions are caused by their disorder...not by you.  Their words and actions are disordered, not personal.

From there, we focus our attention on the things we love and the things we are creating.  We avoid mantras and affirmations that refer back to the narcissist because such affirmation work to produce more of the same. Instead, we direct ourselves to the things we love about ourselves, our kids, our home, our lives, and the things we are excited about creating.