The Boys are following the science and watching the numbers go down in Texas, but Dr. Anthony Fauci thinks that may be because they’re doing things outside. Florida Governor Ron DeSantis offers a brutal beatdown of 60 Minutes, while President Biden is “moving” the vaccine eligibility date to April 19th. Major League Baseball moved the All-Star game out of Georgia, because of their voter ID requirement, and moved it to Denver, where they require ID to vote. RNC Chair Ronna McDaniel is wondering why Vice President Kamala Harris is M.I.A. on the border crisis, while Jen Psaki features the Easter Bunny at a press conference when asked about the Georgia lies. Two illegal immigrants from Yemen were arrested by Border Patrol agents, and they are on the FBI’s terror watch list. ESPN and Paul Pierce are parting ways after Pierce’s Instagram Live post with strippers, and it seems the U.S. basically paid to have this pandemic.

MVC&R are missing VC, but he shall return for Tuesday. Politicians and companies are lining up to condemn Georgia’s voter law, and the lies surrounding are numerous, to say the least. Governor Kemp is speaking up against the lying critics of his state’s bill, and he points out the hypocrisy behind the outrage. Even Chris Christie went on ABC with George Stephanopoulos to call out the lies. The story on the attack at the Capitol kind of went away, probably because the facts in the case did not support the liberal narrative. Hunter Biden did an interview with CBS’s Tracy Smith, and talked about his memoirs, and his struggles smoking parmesan. We seem to be making some tremendous progress in the fight against COVID, but to listen to legacy media, we are on the verge of Doom’s Day. Cher believes she could have saved George Floyd, if only she had been there, and Joe Scarborough wants the dam schools open.

The Boys are fairly good at neanderthal thinking, and because of it, the American economy continues to get back on track. The CDC walks back comments made by the CDC director, and Jen Psaki dodges a question about smugglers throwing small children over the border wall. Hunter Biden says it’s possible that was his laptop, and NPR issues a major correction, after falsely claiming the Hunter Biden laptop story was “discredited” by intelligence. Ferrari and Lamborghini sales are way up, because rich people got bored during the pandemic. The White House is not “changing tone” on Georgia voting bill lies, and American Airlines admits their CEO did not even read the Texas bill before criticizing it. Draymond Green advises female athletes to stop complaining and do something, while a former Olympian has a finger ripped off during an MMA fight. Godzilla vs. Kong came out on Wednesday, and Ryan Fujitani called in to discuss his projections for the weekend. Plus, in honor of April Fools’ Day -- The Friday Five -- Fool Songs Edition.

MVC&R are not even attempting to speak Spanish, but First Lady Biden did, and it was no bueno. President Biden is saying something about the first hundred days, and something else about 100-million shots, but it’s fairly clear he has no clue about which he is talking. As suspected, the story about Florida’s coronavirus number coverup was fake, and investigators know what caused Tiger Woods’ crash, but they’re keeping it a secret. According to the Washington Post, it is “fatphobic” to suggest healthy meal options, while a university is barring whites from minority dorms for “safety” concerns. The former acting ICE director blasted AOC’s “surge” comments, saying she should not be in Congress. Border smugglers tossed a six-month-old baby into the Rio Grande, and two were killed when a plane crashed during a gender reveal. Many are for moving the All-Star game out of Atlanta, because they’re not happy with Georgia’s voting law, and the Cleveland Indians are prohibiting fans from dressing up like Indians.

The Boys have not bitten anyone, that we know of, but Major Biden was involved in another biting incident at the White House. The Bidens wouldn’t have to worry about those kinds of things at Mumbling Meadows. Pfizer says its vaccine is 100% effective in kids between the ages of 12-16, while there’s a new term for people who brag about getting vaccinated. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez doesn’t want you to use the word “surge” to describe the surge at the border, and a Vanderbilt professor says Republicans would deny water from Jesus dying on the cross. A border patrol agent shares what these “loving policies” are actually doing to kids. A CNN article claims it is “impossible” to assign sex at birth, and the Today Show has the latest in Fear Porn. The NFL officially will be playing a 17-game regular-season, but 31% of us wouldn’t feel safe going to a sports event, even if everyone is vaccinated. Two-thirds of Americans say cancel culture is a threat to freedom, and 42% of people plan to throw the “biggest party of their lives” when the pandemic is officially over.

MVC&R have been suspicious of the lab leak theory with the coronavirus, and now the World Health Organization chief thinks they should look into it a little more. President Joe Biden wants governors to reinstate their mask mandates, and the Education Secretary says it’s too soon to tell kids to go back to school this fall. An Asian woman in midtown New York City is attacked verbally and physically, and the DA in San Francisco shrugs off the death of a man murdered by a criminal he let out. Joe Scarborough thinks if you are opposed to the vaccine passport, then you must hate Jesus. Vice President Harris laughs about school closures, and Guatemala declares a state of emergency over the migrant crisis. The Academy is backing off its demand that nominees appear in person, and a study finds ordering too much delivery might kill you.

The Boys are looking into the joint WHO/China report urging no further probe into “extremely unlikely” lab leak theory, and opening arguments are presented in the murder trial for Derek Chauvin. The Secretary of State doesn’t think we should be worrying about China, and former President Trump turned a wedding reception into a campaign rally. The mayor of D.C. deletes a tweet about preventing auto theft, after an ÜberEats driver was killed in a carjacking incident. Senator Ted Cruz is blocked from filming inside a Texas migrant facility, and protesters threaten a school after a teacher showed a cartoon of Mohammed. Dr. Anthony Fauci says it was his decision to create a coronavirus vaccine, while CNN claims immigration is not getting a lot of traction on their website. Baltimore is no longer prosecuting drug possession or prostitution, and LeBron James’ son is mad players are forming a super team to take on his dad. Nike is distancing themselves from Lil Nas X’s satanic blood shoes, and Prince William is the sexiest bald man in the World.

MVC&R give their thoughts on President Biden’s first press conference, while former President Obama’s former doctor slammed Biden’s performance. Fox News host Chris Wallace hits Biden on his performance, pointing out a photo that appears to show Biden’s pre-selected reporters. A Southwest Airlines pilot goes on a rant about liberals in San Francisco, meanwhile in Seattle, the homeless problem is not going away. Dominion takes it up a notch, and sues Fox News with a $1.6 billion defamation claim. It seems the state of Texas is owed an apology, and Arkansas bans transgender athletes from women’s sports. A personal trainer who is afraid to sweat wins a disability claim, and the ship blocking the Suez Canal is costing nearly half a billion dollars an hour. “Nobody” covers cinema news better than Rotten Tomatoes’ Ryan Fujitani, and a Friday Five honoring Eye Donor Month -- Eye Songs Edition.

The Boys have been counting down the days till President Biden’s first press conference. Biden is blaming former President Trump for the border crisis, and Vice President Harris compares ICE to the KKK. A reporter asked a vaccinated Senator Ted Cruz to put on a mask, and the CDC director addressed the reopening of schools. Megan Rapinoe feels she has been “devalued,” and the mayor of Charlottesville has lost her mind. Oregon students sue the school over tuition and fees during the pandemic, while the university claims it did nothing wrong. Sesame Street has Elmo asking why a Black person’s skin is brown, and Oakland, California is giving out money to everyone, except White people. “Controversial” material is being scrubbed from the WWE network, while a mother goes to her daughter’s school wearing a boxing glove, and fights a kid.

MVC&R are not coming for your guns, and Vice President Harris says neither are they. A CNN anchor wants gun shop owners to ask customers if they hear voices, while another tears up while reporting on the Boulder shooting. Mexico’s President blames President Biden for the current border crisis, saying, “Expectations were created.” Americans were wildly misinformed when it came to COVID, and a lot of people don’t want to go out, even after getting vaccinated. An Arizona mayor has declared a state of emergency due to the swarms of migrants, Senator Tammy Duckworth will only vote for Biden nominees who are “racial minorities.” Kamala Harris will be doing an event with Bill Clinton about Women Empowerment, and the reasoning behind the end of America’s crime decline. A Florida missing that had been missing since March 3rd is found in a storm drain, and 92% of us have at least one coworker who annoys us.