Marriage & Motherhood - How To Reconnect With Your Spouse After Kids

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Valentine’s Day can feel heavy when your marriage isn’t where you want it to be — and that doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means something is asking for your attention.

If Valentine’s Day brings up disappointment, sadness, resentment, or pressure, this episode is for you. Instead of viewing this holiday as a test of your marriage, we’re reframing it as a signal — one that highlights what’s really going on beneath the surface.

In this episode, I share:
- How Valentine’s Day often magnifies existing disconnection in marriage
- The difference between performative romance and real emotional intimacy
- Why one “perfect” date won’t fix unresolved issues
- Why micro-connections matter more than grand gestures
- How my husband and I approach Valentine’s Day differently — and why it works for us
- What to do when Valentine’s Day brings up more pain than excitement

If your marriage feels rocky right now, this episode will help you ease the pressure, understand what your feelings are trying to tell you, and take a more grounded, honest step forward.

Mentioned in this episode:
- Want to know what your love language is? Take the Five Love Languages quiz here!

If this episode has helped you realize that deeper support is needed, you can schedule a Clarity Call with me to talk through what’s happening in your marriage and what would actually help.

Thanks for listening!

Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoaching

If you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!

Additional Resources:

• Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't)

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Postpartum can feel overwhelming—not because something is wrong, but because no one prepares you for how much conflicting information you’ll receive after having a baby.

In today’s guest episode, I’m joined by a Postpartum Doula and Matrescence Educator, Heather Magill who helps parents navigate one of the most vulnerable transitions of their lives with clarity, compassion, and zero pressure. We talk about how hard it can be to know what’s normal, what will pass, and when it might actually be time to ask for extra support.

This conversation is especially important for parents who feel torn between advice from professionals, family members, social media, and their own instincts—and end up feeling confused or like they’re failing.

In this episode, we cover:

- What matrescence is
- Why postpartum often feels like a problem even when it isn’t
- How conflicting advice can create anxiety and self-doubt
- The difference between helpful support and emotionally loaded pressure
- How having a neutral, informed support person changes everything
- Why trusting yourself again is a skill—not something you’re born with

If you’re planning to have kids, pregnant or in the postpartum season, this episode will help you feel less alone and more grounded in what actually matters.

🎧 Listen now and share this with a parent who needs permission to stop questioning themselves.

Connect with Heather:
Website: www.infantconcierge.com
IG: @infantconcierge

Check out her community - Untangling Motherhood

Thanks for listening!

Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoaching

If you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!

Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't)

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Going on regular dates but still feeling emotionally disconnected?
You’re not imagining it—and you’re not doing anything wrong.

In this episode, I explain why spending more time together doesn’t automatically rebuild connection, intimacy, or closeness in your marriage—and why date nights often fall flat when deeper issues haven’t been addressed.

You’ll learn:

- The foundation of real connection (it's not time together)
- How unresolved resentment and communication breakdowns affect your dates
- How connection is built through everyday “micro-moments,” not grand gestures
- What actually needs to happen before date nights can feel enjoyable again

If you’ve ever thought, “We’re doing the right things… so why doesn’t it feel better?” this episode will help you understand what’s really going on—and what to focus on instead.

If you’re ready to stop guessing and start building real connection, book a Clarity Call to explore what support could look like for your marriage.

Thanks for listening!

Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoaching

If you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!

Additional Resources:

• Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't)

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⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses domestic violence. Nothing graphic is shared, but listener discretion is advised.

Domestic violence doesn’t always leave bruises—but it always leaves an unwanted, undeserved impact.

In this episode, I am joined by licensed marriage and family therapist Brooke LaLone to define what domestic violence actually looks like—especially the forms most women don’t recognize until they’re deeply entrenched.

If you’ve ever thought, “It’s not that bad,” or “He’s never hit me, so this doesn’t apply,” this conversation may challenge what you’ve been taught to ignore.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why domestic violence is about power and control, not just physical harm
• The difference between communication struggles and abusive dynamics
• Common forms of abuse
• How trauma bonds keep women stuck—even when they know something is wrong
• Red flags that often get normalized in long-term relationships
• Green flags that signal emotional safety, not just chemistry
• Why leaving an abusive relationship is so complex
• How to support someone you love who may be in an unsafe relationship

Connect with Brooke:
1:1 Support Sessions - www.reclaimingmehealing.com
Instagram: @ReclaimwithBrooke

Important Note from Michelle:

Many of the tools and communication strategies discussed in other episodes on this podcast do not apply to abusive relationships. This episode clarifies why—and helps you determine what kind of support is actually appropriate.

Resources Available:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline (U.S.): 1-800-799-SAFE
• Local DV shelters and advocacy centers
• Brooke LaLone’s online community and support resources found on her website

If this episode resonates, please know you’re not alone—and help is available.

Thanks for listening!

Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoaching

If you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!

Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't)

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Resentment doesn’t show up overnight—and it doesn’t mean your marriage is broken.

In this episode, I break down why resentment builds quietly in marriages, especially after kids.

I share:

• Why resentment builds gradually instead of in one big moment
• How unspoken expectations turn into emotional shutdown and loss of intimacy
• The connection between resentment, self-abandonment, and feeling like roommates
• Why saving your partner from conflict doesn’t protect your marriage
• How early, honest conversations soften resentment and rebuild partnership

If you’ve been feeling disconnected, less playful, less flirtatious, or emotionally closed off—this episode will help you understand what’s really happening beneath the surface and how to start shifting it.

Resource Mentioned:

Download the Conflict To Connection Guide here!

Ready to actively rebuild connection in your marriage? Book a clarity call to learn how getting support through marriage coaching can help you!

Thanks for listening!

Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoaching

If you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!

Additional Resources:

• Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't)

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Let us know how you enjoyed this episode!

Perimenopause doesn’t just affect your body — it can completely change how you experience your emotions, your stress levels, and your closest relationships.

If you’ve noticed increased irritability, rage, emotional overwhelm, anxiety, poor sleep, or feeling like you don’t recognize yourself anymore, this episode will help you understand what’s actually happening and why you’re not broken.

In this episode, I am joined by Menopause and Stress Resilience Coach Sharon Pennington to unpack how hormonal changes during perimenopause impact emotional regulation, the nervous system, and relationship dynamics — especially in marriage and motherhood.

You’ll learn why emotional dysregulation often intensifies during perimenopause, how stress hormones like cortisol interact with declining estrogen and progesterone, and what you can do to support your nervous system instead of fighting yourself.

This conversation is especially helpful for married moms who feel overstimulated, reactive, exhausted, or emotionally flooded and want practical tools that actually work.

If you’ve been blaming yourself for struggling more lately — especially in your marriage — this episode will help you see the bigger picture and give you permission to approach this season differently.

Connect with Sharon:
Website: www.sharonpendlington.com
Instagram: @sharonpendlington
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SharonPendlingtonFB/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sharon-pendlington/ 

Take her Perimenopause Archetype Quiz here!

Thanks for listening!

Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoaching

If you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!

Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't)

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Feeling like roommates after becoming parents is one of the most common — and most misunderstood — phases of marriage.

If your relationship feels more operational than romantic..

In this episode, I dive into why feeling like roommates doesn’t mean your marriage is broken — it means connection has been deprioritized. She breaks down how parenting shifts things between you two, how emotional distance builds slowly through habits, and why waiting for “more time” rarely fixes things.

You’ll learn:

• Why the roommate phase happens after kids
• The subtle ways couples drift apart without realizing it
• What happens when you accept disconnection as “normal”
• Why awareness alone doesn’t create change
• How couples rebuild connection without forcing romance

If you’re craving more closeness, ease, and partnership — and you’re ready to stop settling for “fine” — this episode will help you see what’s possible.

Ready to actively rebuild connection instead of staying stuck? Book a Clarity Call to learn how getting support through marriage coaching can help you!

Thanks for listening!

Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoaching

If you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!

Additional Resources:

• Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't)

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Motherhood already asks a lot of women. Add ADHD, hormonal shifts, and invisible labor—and suddenly even “simple” tasks feel overwhelming.

In this episode, I am joined by ADHD Coach, Martha Hoffman, and we unpack what ADHD actually looks like in mothers, why symptoms often worsen during motherhood and perimenopause, and how executive dysfunction quietly impacts daily life, marriage, and mental health.

This conversation is especially for women who feel like they’re thriving in some areas of life but constantly falling apart in others—and quietly wondering if something is “wrong” with them.

In this episode, we cover:

• The difference between everyday overwhelm and ADHD-related executive dysfunction
• Why motherhood and hormones can intensify ADHD symptoms
• Common signs of ADHD in moms that are often missed or misdiagnosed
• How ADHD affects marriage, mental load, and resentment cycles
• How couples can share responsibility without micromanaging or burnout
• Practical ways to create more ease instead of white-knuckling through life
• When it’s time to seek support—and what actually helps

Connect with Martha:
IG: @marthahoffmancoaching
www.marthahoffmancoaching.com

Thanks for listening!

Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoaching

If you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!

Additional Resource:

• Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't)

Support the show

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Do you feel like being "quick to anger" or "irritable" is just part of who you are? In this episode, we shatter the lie that reactivity is a personality trait. You will learn the difference between your biological temperament and learned regulation skills, and how to use specific emotional language to stop arguments before they spiral.

Here's what I dive into:
- Temperament vs. Regulation
- The "Skill Gap": Why reactivity isn't your fault, but it is your responsibility
- The Power of Specificity: How expanding your emotional intelligence (EQ) can help improve your marriage

Ready for support? Schedule your clarity call here to learn more about how marriage coaching can help you!

Resources Mentioned:

Download the Emotion Wheel here

Grab the Conflict to Connection Guide here

Thanks for listening!

Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoaching

If you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!

Additional Resources:

• Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't)

Support the show

Let us know how you enjoyed this episode!

Are you suddenly feeling a sense of rage towards your partner? You aren't going crazy, and your marriage might not be over—you might just be experiencing the biological shift of perimenopause. In this episode, I am joined by Midlife Marriage Advocate Brooke Davis to discuss why hormones are the "hidden guest" in your relationship. We explore the science behind the "estrogen veil" lifting, why "gray divorces" are skyrocketing, and how to advocate for your health when your doctor tells you "it’s just stress."

Connect with Brooke:
IG: @marriageinperimenopause

Thanks for listening!

Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoaching

If you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!

Additional Resources:

• Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't)

Support the show