Martini Shot

Years ago, on my first day in film school – never mind how many years ago; let's just say, enough years ago – there was a guest speaker – I honestly don't remember who, but it was someone big, someone powerful, someone with real cred in the industry...

This is hard to believe but true. Not too long ago -- and when I say "not too long ago," I'm saying it from the perspective of someone who remembers some very old things, like that there used to be a hardware store on Montana Avenue in Santa Monica, before someone invented the $80 candle...

Hollywood is divided into two basic groups: the first group is the one-project types, the serial types. The second, the hedgers, the plates-in-the-air guys. Writers, directors, actors are in the first group – these are the people who do one thing at a time. They tend to immerse themselves in a project, focus on it, care about it. A writer will write a script, then worry over a rewrite, then tweak it and polish it and get notes on a second draft, do that, and….then wait...

The rumor was all over town, and it was serious enough that my agent felt the need to call me. "It's not true," he said. "What's not true?" I asked.
"The rumor.  About the valet parking fees..."

A friend of mine was working on a show once at a large studio that offered tours of its facilities to tourists. They'd gather in the morning, wilting in the Hollywood sunshine, and be led around by a young studio page who would guide them around the various studio landmarks...

A friend of mine pitched a show last week to a network, and they didn't buy it. This isn't a sad story, because another network did want it, so, you know, no tears, but for the six days between the first network saying no and the second network saying yes, he had time to sit and stew and second guess the show he was pitching...

There's an famous photograph of studio chief Jeffrey Katzenberg, back when he was running Disney, on the set of a movie, talking on a cell phone. Famous because, at the time, it was the symbol of a hard-charging, ubiquitous studio boss – always there, always on the phone, always on top of things...

I was talking to a writer the other day who has written a wonderful script. He's sort of an unknown, so he did the smart, entrepreneurial thing: he wrote it on spec. That is, he just carved out some time in his day, sat in one place and, over the course of several weeks, he eked out a funny, smart, fresh pilot script...

A friend of mine called up someone he's known for over twenty years. They had had a meeting a few weeks ago about a project my friend was working on, the guy he's known for such a long time is in the talent management business – although, when you get right down to it, everyone in the entertainment industry is in the talent management business – and the meeting went well, everyone was happy to see everyone else, everyone was excited about the project, everyone was going to follow up, so when my friend did, in fact, follow up a few days later with a phone call, he expected to get his call returned...

Working in the entertainment industry is a little like being a character in one of those magical realism novels – it's about as close to real life as you can get and still have room for unexpected plot twists and scary monsters...