Martini Shot

We're halfway through a script -- it's going pretty well, it's funny and different and, oddly, fun to write, and I turn to my writing partner and say, "You know, this is really good.  I really like this script.  It reminds me of the first play we wrote together, back when we were I college.  What I really like about it is...

Every now and then I make the mistake of reading an essay by a writer writing about writing.  I know you've all read this kind of thing before.  It goes, "The craft of writing -- and I call it a craft, not an art, for there is too much an element of joinery and carpentry to be pure art -- but it's an ancient craft, the craft of the shaman in the fire circle, the troubadour, the world creator"...

I ran into a guy last week, in the waiting area of a big TV network. He was there to pitch a show, which was odd, because up until that moment, I had been pretty sure he was out of the business...

A few years ago, we had a show on the air and we were stuck writing an

Year ago, when a friend of mine was leaving his small town in Missouri

When I tell people that I write television comedy -- actually, that's a bit of a lie: I never tell people what I do for a living, if I can help it.  When people ask -- on a plane, or in some kind of casual never-going-to-see-the-person-again situation -- I almost always say, "I'm a merchant banker," which leads to precisely zero follow-up questions.  I mean, when you tell someone you're a merchant banker, they don't then ask, "Oh, have you worked on any private equity deals I might have heard of?" And they don't say, "You know what's wrong with the capital markets?  Let me tell you... " and they especially don't ever say, "You know what would be a great private equity deal?  My life!  Seriously!  You should come to my office and meet my co-workers and then do a private equity round of early-investment financing with them!"...

I only know one way to pitch a show, and that's to pitch the story of the pilot.  That, of course, is how the audience is going to experience it -- and they, ultimately, are going to decide whether to stick around or see if there's a CSI on somewhere, and there is, there always is  -- so when it comes time to pitch a show, we usually go in, sit down, and tell a story...

I went to a lunch the other day hosted by a very high-up-there studio executive who works with a lot of writers.  It was a small lunch, and I was seated next to a visiting college professor.  "Tell me," he asked.  "how does the whole TV business work?"...

This is for the guy driving the BMW 5 Series, with a show on the air, a show that premiered sometime in the past few weeks, one that did okay the first week, a little worse the second, had okay reviews except from some losers who just didn't get it, a show that's actually pretty good -- it's funny (if it's supposed to be a comedy) and dramatic (if it's supposed to be a drama) -- but for some reason just isn't catching fire.  It just isn't breaking through....

I was having lunch with a friend of mine the other day.  And he suddenly looked up from his Cobb salad. "Oh, here's something I forgot to tell you," he says.  "You know who I ran into the other day?" "Who?"...