MASH Minute

Welcome to “Story Time with Trapper John”, I’m your host Trapper John. Today we’re gonna drink, we’re gonna roast marshmallows, we’re gonna talk about Minute 57, no big whoop. First I need to introduce our guest, Brad Mendenhall. Brad has a fabulous story about the funniest bassett hound in the world but first we need to analyze the demise of horse racing’s popularity in America. My best friend Hawkeye is going to get the giggles and it’s going to confuse everybody—but not as much as Ho Jon’s behavior. See, now I’m getting all mixed up. I can’t go on. Talk amongst yourselves. I’ll give you a topic: almost nothing I’m saying here about Man O’War is true—discuss.

Brad Mendenhall of The Cosmic Geppetto Podcast was brave enough to come back today and we’re so grateful he did because we are trying to focus on the positive. Sutherland, Schuck, and Altman set up a well-executed scene that wasn’t played laughs… but it’s all in service of setting up one of the most uncomfortable storylines of the movie. We don’t get minor character development, but we do get a chance to hear why Kinsey weirds Megan out and find out which doctors are most determined not to miss out on s’mores.

Come and knock on our tent, we’ve been waiting for you… Despite Hawkeye’s best efforts, Painless is determined to see his encounter with the nurse as a life-altering tragedy. The problem, as guest Brad Mendenhall points out, is that this story was written backwards to get to the “joke” the minute ends with. Enjoy our desperate attempts to find some sex positivity in this discussion, and somebody fire Jimmy the Idea Guy because these boys are missing a couple dozen steps here!

Hoh-hoh-hoh, would you like to buy some sexy postcards? After we leave Mulcahy to his muttering and bluff our way past the Perpetual Poker Playing in Painless Pole’s Pavilion, we settle in to talk about what’s bothering Painless. Oh boy, do we settle in to talk about Painless! First we critique his interior decorating with all these pictures of women. Guest Jarf Harden leaves us with a literary mystery for future minutes. And Painless himself does his best “one minute of mime” to tell Hawkeye about the little nurse from the 325th with the big heart. Awwwww.

Megan “Catholic by association” and Tierney “Cast Mandy Moore in the MASH remake you cowards” are joined once more by Jarf to talk about euphemisms, divulging, and the Pope’s Hey American Catholics, What’s Up tour. First he compares Hawkeye to R2-D2, then he points out Father Mulcahy basically is Winnie the Pooh as he attempts to pass along his concerns about Painless to Hawkeye. This is a great Donald Sutherland minute, and the dog getting a belly rub probably agrees.

The AMA and marijuana. Dish and Trapper “playing doctor” but that’s not a euphemism. The return of MASH Middle School. A Pflug Fact. MASH as part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Introducing Megan to the Mandela Effect. Pup Pup and Hawkeye and Tierney. Madam Secretary connections. Tom and Elliott’s Shared Mustache Google Calendar. Has any good conversation ever followed being asked to talk outside? Today we stay inside but go off the rails with Jarf Harden from The Cosmic Geppetto Podcast.

You wouldn’t think it’s possible to have fun discussing a minute in which a patient moans in agony and the camera gives several close-ups of his wound, but Megan, Tierney, and Jarf aren’t feeling squeamish at all. We get to talk about Hawkeye as hero and the idea of surgeon as god that became such a big part of the tv show. For the movie, it’s time for Mr. Party Hard to Work Hard, and out here in the real world of the internet, it’s time for us to find all the MASH gifs the world deserves.

Today we’re going out of the fight and into the fire barrel. It turns out Frank Burns really did go nuts! After the MPs get him in a straightjacket and remove him from camp, we have more questions than ever. Guest Travis Bow of the Watchmen Minute points out that we never see Houlihan’s reaction. None of us are certain we’re reading this look between Hawkeye and Trapper well. And is there any significance to the number 20960965 on this license plate? Who will Megan love to hate now? As Act 1 of our movie comes to a close, we’ve gotten everyone to the MASH and now it’s time to start taking people away. Or rather, the time has come to say sayonara.

Radar tells Blake the truth… from a certain point of view. Inside the Mess Tent, Hawkeye’s teasing (and Tigger impression) escalate until Frank finally attacks him. It’s the return of Blake’s English Boarding School! Travis Bow brings the history research, including the origin of “You wouldn’t hit a guy with glasses, would you?”. What follows this fight is the MASHiest transition in all of MASH and a song that inspires a mystery when Tierney’s research turns up nothing. As Megan points out, if you want the drama of middle school but also enjoy drunken antics, then have we got a movie for you!

The general wasn’t there, but Travis Bow is here! We’ve whisked him away from his superhero movies to help us discuss this “proto-frat-boy-antics” film. We have mixed feelings about Hawkeye being on a mission to corrupt or destroy Frank, but we have a guest that liked the movie AND talks to Megan about the book, so things are looking up. Surely everything’s gonna be just fine as Sutherland and Duvall start to raise their voices…