Are you constantly feeling guilty for saying no, putting yourself first, or just needing a break? I used to feel that way too. Guilt whispered that I was selfish, lazy, or letting people down. So I kept over-giving, over-doing, and over-apologizing… until I finally said "enough."

I faced decades of saying yes when I meant no, repressing my own needs, and living under the weight of other people’s expectations. In this episode, I’m diving into the 20 things I finally stopped feeling guilty about—and how each one helped me:

• Break the cycle of people‑pleasing in midlife
• Overcome guilt and shame around setting boundaries
• Reclaim my time, energy, and self‑worth, and
• Live more joyfully—without resentment

If you're tired of feeling invisible, drained, or like you don't deserve simple pleasures (like rest, choice, and pride in your own life), this episode is for you.

If you'd like to know more about what coaching with me looks like, please email me at [email protected] or schedule a free Clarity Call: https://calendly.com/heidi-gustafson/30min

Specific YouTube video mentioned in episode: "This people-pleasing habit destroys your confidence"

More resources on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@MasteringMidlifeWithHeidi

Get on my email list and stay up-to-date on all the happenings by downloading my FREE guide: 20 Ways To Say "No" Without Guilt

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Are you the one always trying? Always giving? Does your inner voice whisper, "No matter what - it's never enough!" So you try harder and give more. You may think you're just being helpful, easygoing, or kind—but underneath it all, you might be working overtime to prove you're good enough. 

In this episode, I’ll walk you through 15 people-pleasing behaviors that are secretly fueled by fear, guilt, and the deep need to be seen as “good.”

• Learn why these habits lead to burnout, resentment, and disconnection
• Spot the subtle ways you’ve been abandoning yourself to avoid rejection
• Get 3 simple steps to start letting go of guilt and honoring your needs

Let’s talk about what these people-pleasing "nice" habits are really costing you in your peace, energy, and self worth... and how to start setting boundaries without guilt or self doubt. 

Take the free Boundaries Blind Spot Quiz: https://www.masteringmidlifewithheidi.com/bbsquiz

If you'd like to know more about what coaching with me looks like, please schedule a Clarity Call: https://calendly.com/heidi-gustafson/30min

More resources on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@MasteringMidlifeWithHeidi

Get on my email list and stay up-to-date on all the happenings by downloading my FREE guide: 20 Ways To Say "No" Without Guilt: https://www.masteringmidlifewithheidi.com/join-the-community

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What if saying “sorry” isn’t kindness — but self-doubt in disguise? And what if the key to less doubt and more respect is simply choosing a new way to speak? 

In this episode, I'm showing you why "sorry" isn't creating the connection you think it is—and why it's actually making things worse.

Here's what you'll learn:

• Why apologizing when you've done nothing wrong destroys your confidence
• How saying "sorry" is a trap to avoid feeling guilty
• Why over-apologizing pushes people away instead of bringing them closer and,
• Exact phrases to use instead of "sorry"

If you people please, saying "sorry" is like trying to comb your hair with a hammer. It's the wrong tool!

Take the free Boundaries Blind Spot Quiz: https://www.masteringmidlifewithheidi.com/bbsquiz

If you'd like to know more about what coaching with me looks like, please schedule a Clarity Call: https://calendly.com/heidi-gustafson/30min

More resources on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@MasteringMidlifeWithHeidi

Get on my email list and stay up-to-date on all the happenings by downloading my FREE guide: 20 Ways To Say "No" Without Guilt: https://www.masteringmidlifewithheidi.com/join-the-community

Send us a text

Do you show up one way with others, but feel completely different inside, maybe even the polar opposite of what others see in you? In this episode, I’m revealing what causes us to be this way and how this disconnection leaves us feeling small and invisible.

Listen to hear:

• how the pain of always being what others needed (the helper, the dependable one, the peacekeeper, the “good” girl) disconnects us from ourselves,
• why it feels safer to be what others want, and
• how learning to put other people first causes us to seek external validation in midlife

What causes us to continually shape-shift to fit in with others? And what’s the one key thing that’s needed to stop? That’s what you’ll learn in this episode.

The one common thing I’ve seen in everyone who prioritizes OTHER people over themselves is a struggle to protect their OWN needs. That’s exactly why I created the free Boundaries Blind Spot quiz so you can see for yourself. It’s a set of statements that you rate yourself on and the quiz helps you uncover where your boundaries might be leaky without you even realizing it.  Download the free Boundaries Blind Spot quiz here: https://www.masteringmidlifewithheidi.com/bbsquiz

If you'd like to know more about what coaching with me looks like, please email me at [email protected] or schedule a Clarity Call: https://calendly.com/heidi-gustafson/30min

More resources on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@MasteringMidlifeWithHeidi

Get on my email list and stay up-to-date on all the happenings by downloading my FREE guide: 20 Ways To Say "No" Without Guilt: https://www.masteringmidlifewithheidi.com/join-the-community

Send us a text

Do  you say yes when you REALLY wanna say no — just to avoid disappointing someone? Or say no, but then immediately feel guilty?

Yeah… the guilt? It’s not about that moment — it’s about a deeper belief you probably don't realize you’re carrying.

In this episode, we’re unpacking why so many women end up chasing approval without realizing it… and how that need to be liked or seen as “good” keeps us stuck in people-pleasing patterns that feel like love, but aren’t.

We’ll cover:

• Why disappointing others feels so unsafe — and what it’s really tied to
• How approval became a stand-in for love (and how to spot where it's still happening)
• What it looks like to give yourself unconditional love — instead of earning it through self-sacrifice

This one’s for the woman who’s tired of twisting herself into knots to feel worthy — and is ready to write a new story.

If you'd like to know more about what coaching with me looks like, please email me at [email protected] or schedule a Clarity Call: https://calendly.com/heidi-gustafson/30min

More resources on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@MasteringMidlifeWithHeidi

Get on my email list and stay up-to-date on all the happenings by downloading my FREE guide: 20 Ways To Say "No" Without Guilt: https://www.masteringmidlifewithheidi.com/join-the-community

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Do you ever walk away from a conversation thinking, “Why did I say all that?”
You’re not alone — and there’s nothing wrong with you. Oversharing is a sneaky people-pleasing habit that feels like connection… but usually leaves us feeling exposed, regretful, or misunderstood. I'm breaking down why we do it — and how to quit this habit to take back your peace and power.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• 5 hidden reasons people pleasers overshare (and none of them mean you’re broken)
• How your urge to explain everything is actually about self-trust
• A personal story of a boundary that changed the course of my life
• 4 powerful ways to start protecting your energy without losing your warmth

This one’s for the person who’s tired of handing out their heart like a business card — and is ready to feel safe keeping some things sacred.

If you'd like to know more about what 1:1 coaching looks like, please email me at [email protected] or schedule a Clarity Call: https://calendly.com/heidi-gustafson/30min

Visit my YouTube channel for more resources: https://www.youtube.com/@MasteringMidlifeWithHeidi

Get on my email list and stay up-to-date on all the happenings by downloading my FREE guide - 20 Ways To Say "No" Without Guilt: https://www.masteringmidlifewithheidi.com/join-the-community

Send us a text

Have you spent your life being "nice" and putting others first, even at the cost of your own happiness and peace of mind? If the answer is yes, it's time to rethink your approach. Tune in to discover how embracing kindness over niceness can rejuvenate your life. In this episode, you’ll learn:

• The hidden dangers of being too nice and how it can lead to unhealthy relationships and personal dissatisfaction
• The difference between being nice and being kind, and how this distinction can transform your interactions
• How prioritizing inner peace by speaking your truth can lead to more genuine and fulfilling relationships

If you'd like to know more about what coaching with me looks like, please email me at  [email protected] or schedule a Clarity Call: https://calendly.com/heidi-gustafson.

Get on my email list by downloading my FREE guide: 20 Ways To Say "No" Without Guilt: https://www.masteringmidlifewithheidi.com/join-the-community

This episode was produced by The Podcast Teacher: http://www.thepodcastteacher.com.

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If you're someone who bends over backwards to keep the peace, this episode is for you! Tune in to learn how you can stop carrying the emotional weight of everyone else and start breathing more freely in your own life. In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How fear of disappointment can lead us to compromise our own needs and well-being
• The 15 specific behaviors to stop that can help break the cycle of people pleasing
• Steps to take in order to reclaim your voice and become the author of your own life, rather than a supporting actor in someone else's

Boundaries Roadmap: https://www.masteringmidlifewithheidi.com/boundarieschallenge (use code EP60 to save $20!)

If you'd like to know more about what coaching with me looks like, please email me at  [email protected] or schedule a Clarity Call: https://calendly.com/heidi-gustafson.

Get on my email list by downloading my FREE guide: 20 Ways To Say "No" Without Guilt: https://www.masteringmidlifewithheidi.com/join-the-community

This episode was produced by The Podcast Teacher: http://www.thepodcastteacher.com.

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Are you trapped in the cycle of people-pleasing and losing sight of who you truly are? It took me over four decades to break free, and this episode is here to guide you on the journey of self-worth and acceptance. Join me as I reveal seven transformative lessons that helped me let go of the exhausting need to be everything to everyone. In this episode, you’ll learn:

1. Why letting go of what others think can liberate you and allow you to live more authentically
2. How suppressing emotions can lead to toxicity and why expressing feelings is essential for well-being
3. The importance of self-acceptance and how it frees you from the exhausting cycle of people pleasing and seeking external validation

If you'd like to know more about what coaching with me looks like, please email me at  [email protected] or schedule a Clarity Call: https://calendly.com/heidi-gustafson.

Get on my email list by downloading my FREE guide: 20 Ways To Say "No" Without Guilt: https://www.masteringmidlifewithheidi.com/join-the-community

This episode was produced by The Podcast Teacher: http://www.thepodcastteacher.com.

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Have you ever left a conversation wishing you'd spoken up? Or found yourself over-explaining and then feeling guilty afterward? If the fear of expressing yourself has left you silent or overwhelmed, you're not alone, I've been there too. In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How to differentiate between wanting to be right and wanting to be heard in your interactions.
• Why speaking up is a learnable skill and how you can start building this muscle gradually.
• Powerful go-to phrases you can use immediately to express yourself confidently without guilt or the need to explain.

Download a PDF of the Go-To Phrases: https://www.masteringmidlifewithheidi.com/speakup-guide

If you'd like to know more about what coaching with me looks like, please email me at  [email protected] or schedule a Clarity Call: https://calendly.com/heidi-gustafson.

Get on my email list by downloading my FREE guide: 20 Ways To Say "No" Without Guilt: https://www.masteringmidlifewithheidi.com/join-the-community

This episode was produced by The Podcast Teacher: http://www.thepodcastteacher.com.

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