If you’re the one who’s always keeping the peace, smoothing things over, and carrying a hidden weight you can’t quite name, this episode is for you. Tune in to learn how to stop being everyone’s emotional manager and finally put down the load you were never meant to carry.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• The 10 signs you’re taking on responsibility that isn’t yours
• How people-pleasing turns into emotional over-functioning
• What to do to reclaim your peace without guilt

Free Resources:

• Boundaries Blind Spot Quiz
• 20 Ways to Say No Without Feeling Guilty or Selfish
• YouTube video: How to Let Go of Your Need to Keep Everyone Happy
• YouTube video: This People-Pleasing Habit Destroys Your Confidence
• YouTube video: You're Allowed to Say No | 5 Guilt-Free Phrases for People Pleasers

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Ever feel guilty for needing a little breathing room, saying no, or wanting something just for you? You’re not alone — and it’s not because you’re selfish. It’s because you were trained to feel that way.

In this episode, we’ll bust the lie that being a “good woman” means being self-less, and uncover what it actually means to take care of yourself without apology.

You’ll learn:

• The hidden conditioning that made you equate self-care with selfishness — and how to break it.
• Why guilt flares up the moment you choose yourself (and why that’s actually a good sign).
• How to start your own Guilt Detox so you can replace guilt with balance, peace, and self-respect.

Because taking care of yourself isn’t selfish — it’s how you stay connected to who you are and who you were meant to be.

Want support?

Book a free consultation with me to see how I can guide you in this chapter of your life: My calendar

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What if your “niceness” is actually pushing people away?

In this powerful episode, I unpack a viral Reddit post where one woman asked, “Please just help me understand why people pleasers are disliked.” The 29 pages of raw, honest responses revealed painful truths about what people-pleasing really looks like from the outside — and why it keeps us stuck in guilt, exhaustion, and disconnection.

I break down five hard truths about people-pleasing — how it can come across as fake, create weak boundaries, attract toxic people, and erode your sense of self. You’ll learn why saying “yes” when you mean “no” teaches people how to treat you, and how to start reclaiming your peace and power, one honest boundary at a time.

I also share a touching tribute to Diane Keaton, who reminded us that, “The goal is to continue in good and bad, all of it.” Because healing isn’t about getting it right — it’s about showing up real, even when it’s messy.

🎧 Listen now to learn what your ‘niceness’ might really be costing you—and how to take your life back.

👇Free resources:

Book a call with me here: Heidi's calendar

Take the Boundaries Blind Spot Quiz here

Download the guide: 20 Ways to Say No Without Feeling Guilty

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Do you walk away from certain people feeling small, anxious, or wondering what you did wrong? That’s not an accident — it’s the effect of toxic energy slowly eroding your peace and confidence.

Here’s the truth: you don’t feel horrible because you messed up. You feel horrible because their behavior crosses boundaries - boundaries you were never taught to create and hold - and   and it chips away at your self esteem.

In this episode, you’ll discover:

• Why toxic people twist your “no” into guilt (and how to stop falling for it)
• The most powerful way to protect your energy without apology or over-explaining
• 3 practical boundary strategies you can use right now to feel calm, clear, and unshakably confident

If you’re tired of second-guessing yourself, replaying conversations, or shrinking to keep the peace, this episode will help you take back your power — and protect your peace — for good.

RESOURCES:
Want to know where your boundaries need some attention? Take the FREE Boundaries Blind Spot Quiz here.

Want to dive deeper into boundaries on your own time with my guidance? Take the Empower Your Life Boundaries Roadmap Challenge. 👈 Info and sign up here.

Related YouTube video: She Makes You Feel Guilty? 3 Ways to Take Back Your Power

Want some easy ways to say no in your back pocket? Download my free guide: 20 Ways to Say No Without Feeling Guilty

Want to chat about where you feel stuck and how I can help? Book a free 30-minute consultation call on my calendar.

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Do you bend over backwards to avoid being called selfish? For people pleasers, that word feels like the worst insult of all — and it’s exactly why so many of us swallow our truth, say yes when we mean no, and lose ourselves in the process.

But here’s the dark truth: the very behaviors we think make us “nice” are actually manipulative — and they’re keeping us stuck.

In this episode, I share:

• The hidden ways people pleasers morph and control situations without realizing it
• Why constant apologizing and over-explaining erode real connection
• How saying yes when you want to say no breeds resentment and disconnection
• The sneaky habits (like hinting or testing others) that keep you invisible and frustrated

If you’ve ever thought of yourself as “easygoing” but ended up drained, resentful, or invisible, this conversation will hit home. And the good news? You’ll also get simple, practical steps you can start using today to stop the cycle and reclaim your voice.

Grab my free guide with 20 ways to say no (without feeling like the bad guy) — link below:

20 Ways to Say NO Guide

A Dark Truth About People Pleasing YouTube video

If you'd like support on breaking free of people pleasing, schedule your free consultation and let's chat about how I can help you. Schedule time here on my calendar. Or you can email me at [email protected]

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Do you feel guilty, selfish, or even wrong every time you try to set a boundary? You’re not alone. For so many women, people pleasing has been conditioned into us since childhood — and breaking free from it is the only way to protect your time, energy, and peace.

In this episode, I’ll share why saying no feels so hard, how people pleasing is NOT who you are (it’s just a habit), and the five steps that helped me finally set boundaries without guilt.

Here’s what you’ll learn when you listen:

• The real reason you keep saying yes (even when your gut is screaming no)
• How to set boundaries without explaining yourself — and why explanations keep you stuck
• The game-changing mindset shift that makes boundaries finally stick for good

If you’ve been exhausted from people pleasing, struggling with guilt or resentment, or afraid of disappointing others, this episode will show you the path to inner peace and stronger boundaries.

Boundaries Roadmap:
Boundaries Blind Spot Quiz (FREE) See where your boundaries could be stronger.

Empower Your Life Boundaries Challenge (use code EP71 to save $20!) Take the 30-day email challenge for healthier boundaries in just 1 month!

Other Free Resources:
Join my email newsletter and stay up-to-date on everything "Mastering Midlife" by downloading my FREE guide: 20 Ways to Say "NO" Without Guilt

If you'd like support on breaking free of people pleasing, schedule your free clarity call and let's chat about how I can help you. Schedule time here on my calendar. Or you can email me at [email protected]

Send us a text

Are you your own worst enemy, bullying yourself with negative self talk? Do you feel overly self-critical despite being nice to everyone else? If your inner voice is filled with negative thoughts, you’re not alone — and you don’t have to stay stuck in the cycle of feeling “not good enough.”

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why your inner critic is so harsh (and why it’s not your fault)
• A simple technique to calm negative thoughts in just minutes a day
• How to retrain your inner voice with 2 easy steps so you can finally feel more peace and confidence

Watch this episode on YouTube: The SECRET to Silence Your Inner Critic & Stop Doubting Yourself!

Get on my email list and stay up-to-date on all the happenings by downloading my FREE guide: 20 Ways To Say "No" Without Guilt

Schedule a free consultation here on my calendar.

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Ever said 'yes' to something and then felt guilty when you needed or wanted to change your mind -- even when it no longer felt right? This exact thing happened to me recently.

In this episode, I share why people pleasers (even recovering ones like me) struggle to change our mind and say no when we already said yes, how pushing people manipulate your guilt, and why changing your mind and trusting your gut is so important for your inner peace and self respect.

If you’ve ever stayed in a situation just to avoid disappointing someone else, this episode is for you. I spent years believing that being dependable meant sticking it out, even if it cost me my peace. But keeping your word at the expense of your well-being isn’t integrity—it’s self-abandonment.

In this episode, I share the powerful shifts that helped me stop overriding my gut, let go of guilt, and start honoring what’s true for me. We’ll talk about:

• how people-pleasing keeps you from changing your mind,
• why changing your mind isn’t flaky, and
• how to confidently say no even when someone is guilt-tripping you.

Schedule a free consultation here on my calendar. I'll help you see your blind spots.

Take the FREE Boundaries Blind Spot Quiz

Watch the YouTube video here: "Is it okay to SAY NO after you already said YES?"

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Are you afraid that if people saw the real you, they’d walk away?

If you’ve ever felt like you had to wear a mask just to be accepted, this episode is for you. I spent over 50 years shape-shifting into who I thought others needed me to be—just to avoid rejection. But all that time, I was quietly rejecting myself.

In this episode, I share the two powerful shifts that helped me finally drop the mask, stop people-pleasing, and start living as the real me—without apology. We’ll talk about:

• the high cost of fake acceptance,
• how to reframe rejection, and
• what it really takes to build self-trust and authentic connection.

Watch the YouTube video: How I let go of the fear of rejection to finally be happy!

If you'd like to know more about what coaching with me looks like, please email me at [email protected] or schedule a Clarity Call on my calendar here.

Get on my email list and stay up-to-date on all the happenings by downloading my FREE guide: 20 Ways To Say "No" Without Guilt

Send us a text

Are you constantly feeling guilty for saying no, putting yourself first, or just needing a break? I used to feel that way too. Guilt whispered that I was selfish, lazy, or letting people down. So I kept over-giving, over-doing, and over-apologizing… until I finally said "enough."

I faced decades of saying yes when I meant no, repressing my own needs, and living under the weight of other people’s expectations. In this episode, I’m diving into the 20 things I finally stopped feeling guilty about—and how each one helped me:

• Break the cycle of people‑pleasing in midlife
• Overcome guilt and shame around setting boundaries
• Reclaim my time, energy, and self‑worth, and
• Live more joyfully—without resentment

If you're tired of feeling invisible, drained, or like you don't deserve simple pleasures (like rest, choice, and pride in your own life), this episode is for you.

If you'd like to know more about what coaching with me looks like, please email me at [email protected] or schedule a free Clarity Call: https://calendly.com/heidi-gustafson/30min

Specific YouTube video mentioned in episode: "This people-pleasing habit destroys your confidence"

More resources on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@MasteringMidlifeWithHeidi

Get on my email list and stay up-to-date on all the happenings by downloading my FREE guide: 20 Ways To Say "No" Without Guilt

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