Alalaes! This week, V and Emily head back to the brand-new days of the internet and Xena: Warrior Princess fandom, where fandom wank has always been fandom wank. Although Xena/Gabrielle is a femslash fandom juggernaut, we're venturing into the world of Xena/Ares shipping and the close-knit community of people who a) hated Gabrielle and b) eventually all kind of hated each other. This was a masterclass in early-internet rarepair shipping and a nostalgic reminder of the era of single-author fic websites, messageboards, and e-mail groups. Don't do a Gab Drag, come along for the ride! Were you a Xenite? (Or, are you still?)