May The Force Live Long and Prosper

This week, Cate and Dietrich discuss the sugar of a B-story that helps one hell of a heavy A-story go down, and Jake and Nog shoulder the nigh-on impossible task of keeping an episode about the scars left by the brutal subjugation of the people forcing everyone to dirty their hands light and fun. Fortunately, the Noh-Jay Consortium is up to the task. Cate and Dietrich talk about the gleeful joy of stubborn octogenarians, Cate's ability to manifest a befuddled O'Brien, and the surprisingly effective protest tactic of a slow-cooker meal. In addition, they chat about tween landowners, the desperate need for more girl talk on this show, and Bashir learns to be cool for like A SECOND.

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This week, Cate and Dietrich dig into Defenders of Peace, the episode of The Clone Wars that has the unfortunate distinction to follow up the outstanding Jedi Crash. The pair dig into Sun Tzu's glowstick stratagems, find delight in Ashoka demonstrating the fact that she is not a pacifist in the most direct way possible, and lament the freshman philosophy class debates that are the raisins in this particular potato salad. In addition, Dietrich samples his very first Uncrustable, Cate shares her delight at the newest Star War, and they bring what you're all drooling for: those hot Bi-Lo references.

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This week, Dietrich and Cate dig into the Deep Space Nine episode "The Storyteller" to try to find a shred of common sense and generally come up empty. Does it make sense why a teenage girl is threatening war because of a wobbly river? Does it make sense why a goo cloud menacing an entire village of day players hasn't gotten more attention? Does it make sense why Tony Robbins is the only hope for a village with the worst conflict resolution techniques in history? No, but it's a lot of fun to talk about. The pair discuss gangly teenage love triangles, the dangers of community theater against medical advice, and just how lucky the Bajorans are that Julian didn't get the weird bride offer.

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This week, Cate and Dietrich dig into Jedi Crash, an absolutely breakneck whirlwind of an episode that sees more happen in the first three minutes than most episodes see in their full run. We settle the landmark case of Anakin V Massive Wall of Fire, debate whether the writers or animators consumed more nose candy during the production, and discuss just how lean Sam The Eagle's roasted flesh would be. In addition, a muppet beatnik lectures the Jedi on hypocrisy, the Chosen One learns that moxie and pluck are no match for extensive internal bleeding, and we learn the restorative powers of goo-based waterboarding.

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This week, Cate and Dietrich sit down to discuss the season one episode "Battle Lines", in which we learn that Benjamin Sisko's one weakness is Catholic guilt. The pair chat about Kira's questionable stress management techniques, Keiko possibly throwing down with Quark to prevent Molly from entering the cutthroat world of estate auctions, and the fact that Dax and O'Brien are so goddamn good at solving problems that it might become narratively annoying. It's an episode that dips into some complicated ideas, including how we embrace or reject the violence that's a part of who we are, the philosophical horror of immortality and war, and just how many ways is Odo going to get yelled at by some alien priests.

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To celebrate May The 4th, Cate and Dietrich dive into the 2009 film Fanboys, a movie that answers the question, "How uncomfortable do two nerds feel discussing a movie that's aged like cream in a sauna?" They spend time discussing Danny Trejo's beautiful smile, the many layers of the greatest van ever built, and the shockingly poor security at Skywalker Ranch. It's a complicated movie to talk about, bouncing between painfully awkward portrayals of the Star Trek / Star Wars rivalry, a plot that pingpongs wildly between too much subtext and not a single solitary drop, and several scenes that need to be dragged out into the desert and told to look at the stars while we do what has to be done. But it's also something of a miracle, a love letter that's pointed less at Star Wars and more at the joy, friendship, and devotion that this universe has inspired. We hope you all enjoy this monster-length bonus, and that you all have a happy May the 4th!

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This week, Dietrich reluctantly sits down with Cate to discuss the latest adventures of nobody's favorite Gungan with Gungan Generals. They establish in no uncertain terms which current US policymaker fills the role of Jar Jar of the Senate, they dig deep into the proper jam choices and the unholy plasmid that is sunbutter, and they lament the decision made not to simply incorporate this legendary scene into the episode. In addition, they discuss the decision not to focus on the complexities of the Obi Wan / Dooku relationship, the ability of cowpigs to keep up with space Harleys, and whether or not Jar Jar is guilty of manslaughter (he absolutely is).

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This week, Cate and Dietrich sit down to talk about The Vortex, an episode that argues that Odo's cousin can be found at any Claire's near you, debates whether murder is forgivable if the murder victim was just kind of a dick, and demonstrates once again that Quark pines helplessly for Odo's love. It's an episode that struggles with a tone vacillating wildly between "goofy crime caper" and "remember that time my family was murdered", and features some truly baffling decision making by Sisko, who takes prisoner transport way to lightly. Can an antagonist still be threatening while wearing a silver diaper? Are Bashir's parents dodging his calls begging them to help him find his dress uniform? Find out in this week's episode of May the Force Live Long and Prosper!

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This week, Cate and Dietrich dig into the episode Dooku Captured, which for some goddamn reason kicks off about halfway through a really cool story we never get to see. We reunite with the galaxy's favorite bickering married couple back together again, we learn that Dooku has so much drip it's genuinely intimidating, and we meet the most bafflingly competent pirates in the galaxy. In addition, Dietrich gets quite angry at the reveal of Cricket prepaid lightsabers, we get some wet hot man-on-manbat action, and they cackle more than they probably should at a Jawa absolutely getting his shit rocked by a pirate. It's an incomplete episode with some pretty amazing sections that jump-scares you with a cliffhanger.

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This week, Dietrich finally gets his vengeance for the gnarled sexual awakening of Itchy by introducing the supernatural refractory period of an octogenarian Ferengi head of state. Cate looks on in existential horror as the pair debate the need for soundproofing the holosuites, the practicality of door to door autopsies, and whether or not Paramount is missing a tremendous opportunity by not selling dessicated corpse blind boxes. In addition, the A and B plots are so far apart they can't see each other without a telescope, Sisko gets parenting advice from every person to hove into his field of vision, and our greatest achievement is realized when Jake Sisko no longer is sleeping on the floor.

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