Mbaacha

Today I Learned the law of averages. Through my fundraising activities I’ve found that there is a predicatable ratio of how favorable things can occur. I found through going door to door that most people will deny you or not bother to open the door. This will be the overwhelming majority. It will almost make you question why even bother? That’s excaxtly how I felt. Taking that amount of rejection can be soul crushing it can be confidence killing. But it was easy for me to get over that hump after thinking about it as if I’m doing this so my son can get a college education and by the way I’m my son. But the ratio I’ve found is that 80% of people will either tell you no, refuse to open the door, or are just not home. Then the remaining 20% of people will actually give you money or sincerely ask you to come back tomorrow when they’d have cash on them. The interesting thing about this ratio is that the people who do give you money will disproportionately outweigh the number of people who don’t give you money. In a way the net positive experience noticeably outweigh the negative experience. When I think about it this concept is in a a lot of places particularly with making any form of content. With my podcast the vast majority won’t get shared or won’t cause any reaction. But then the few that do get shared and garner a bunch of plays bring in new people to listen to the more obscure episodes. The top pays for the bottom in a sense. Another thing that is interesting is that this ratio is kind of reliable. There’s off days of course but I’ve noticed that with a large amount of output there can be a reliable return on a few units of the output expended.

Today I learned every itch doesn’t need to be scratched. I think people like me who didn’t have their fathers in their lives, or have hyper-reactive brains have a tough time with getting out of their own way. I’ve found that I have a hard time controlling my urges. I’ve found that I have a hard time being quiet and sitting still. I know a lot of people are like that. That’s one of the reasons I couldn’t finish through with college the first time. When your someone like me you have a lot of ideas racing through your mind and you get energized and excited at the smallest stimuli. A lot of times I’ve found myself laughing the loudest in a crowd and saying something inappropriate or just not being able to blend in. There are surely benefits to this perpetually fired up behavior. But the negatives can be and have been life ruining. I’ve found that when your somebody like me you’re a harm to yourself. You’ll get grand pie in the sky ideas and you’ll risk far more than necessary to have a shot at them. That was my story for awhile. I would push myself well beyond what anybody asked me to because I thought that would distiguish my art. Maybe it did maybe it didn’t. But I’ve found that these itches I have been having recently of pursuing a career in music when I’ve already done so for three years stems from my poor self-control. I’m sure a lot has to deal with just being hyper reactive by nature. Ever since I started meditating again I’ve been able to step back and analyze the itches I’ve been getting. The urges my brain is sending. And now I’ve learned from harsh experience that everything that your brain urges you to do doesn’t need to be done. Every itch one gets doesn’t need to be scratch. Time and energy are fixed. Some ideas are worth explore but some aren’t even worth revisiting. It’s hard to accept that when you’re a person like me who enjoys just merely pursuing different ideas. But it’s just how it is. There are good ideas and there are bad ideas. No matter how strong the urge I have to accept when something is a bad idea.

Today I Learned I need to be nimble. It’s so obvious now that having an idea and quickly trying it out then quickly adjusting the approach based upon the data received from taking action gives one a competitive advantage. I was literally going door to door in my neighborhood asking for donations for my tuition and I was kind of surprised how easy it was. After the first person said no i got use to the feeling of being rejected😂. A small percentage of people actually gave me money which is still surprising. Another small percentage of people said come back on a specific date and they’d be happy to contribute. Had I stalled I probably would of talked myself out of this idea. I felt significant resistance right before I was getting ready to leave. But the feeling of letting myself sit out a semester based on finances pushed me out there. Being able to see the results as they are and change the methodology of action in a fast fashion has served me well. Having an idea and quickly trying it out has helped me as well hurt me. Every idea that comes to mind shouldn’t be pursued, but a lot of ideas fall in the gray area were ione isn’t exactly sure if it will work or not. With pierced watchful eyes and and the willingness to adjust to change I think I’ll be able to achieve my goals.

Today I Learned that no experience is a waste. I applied for this job listing I found on Craigslist. The job description seemed too good to be true. It described a full time posistion with $16 an hour. It used vague terms to describe the duties of the job. Instead of describing the job as door to door fundraising they described the job in an ambiguous term of canvassing.It talked about having a job with meaning. I got a call a few days after I applied. They told me to come to the office for a round 2 interview. I was stoked because at $16 an hour for full time I could achieve my goal of making 4 bands this summer so that i can pay off my tuition and transfer to university. After the round 2 interview I was offered a job of a fundraiser for environment virgina. I didn’t really care about the purpose of the non for profit I was just happy that I now had practical means to pay off my tuition. Before I left the round 2 interview I was firmly though covertly instructed to memorize the fundraising pitch or what they call the rap. I honestly neglected to do so. Though as soon as I was offered the full time posistion I put in my two weeks I didn’t take the job seriously. The first official day they asked all the new hires to recite the fundraising pitch. When it was my turn it was obvious I didn’t memorize it. Right before we were about to leave to go knock door to door I was asked to comeback tomorrow. The directors had noticed I didn’t memorize the pitch and felt I didn’t take the job seriously and this would be more of a liability than an asset to the organization. I rebutted but eventually left. I was angry and felt that I was unfairly treated. I felt they could of at least let me hit the field and see how I do with more practice. But I just chalked it up the game of life and kept it moving. Today in the back of my mind I was trying think of ways I could reach my goal of $4000. I remember how on that first day of that canvassing job I heard about people who had raise more than $700 in one day for the environmental cause. So it dawned upon me that I could go start a Gofundme and campaign online and also go door to door and go fundraise in real life on behalf of myself. So it turned out that the trouble I went through to only be asked to come back later wasn’t all in vain. Now I have another method of how I’ll achieve my goal. Right now my 3 ways are working as many hours as I can, selling shit I don’t really use online, and now fundraising on social media/in real life. So we’ll see how it goes. But that experience taught me that no experience is a waste. If you pay attention I can pull out a gem in a lot of unfortunate experiences and then apply that information to achieve my own goals.

🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿

https://www.gofundme.com/please-help-me-get-my-act-together

Today I learned that I have to be willing to sacrifice. Just me sitting back watching a particular person I know take their careers to the next level has me feeling like I need to start working on my ideas right this second. My initial goal starting this summer was to diligently work on my creative projects. I wanted to make as much music and as many podcast as possible. But unfortunately it doesn’t seem like I can honestly devote all my time outside of work to my entrepreneurial endeavors. Just like passing all my classes became the number one goal now securing financing for my next semester of college has now become the number one goal. And just how I was unsure whether or not if I would pass my classes is how I’m unsure whether or not I’ll find financing in time to register for classes next semester. It seems like there’s always going to be something. There always going to be major responsibilities that need tending to that will call me away from my pie in the sky ambitions. But had I just been grounded in reality and diligently take care of my responsibilities when I was 18 I would of been in a favorable posistion than I am today. So that’s what I’ve been doing since I turned 22 and that’s what I’ll continue to do for the rest of my life. Being willing to sacrifice the pleasure I derive from working on my big ideas in order to finish up with school for good will allow me to work on my big ideas for the rest of my entire life.

Today I learned that there are other stuff I could do. When I first got into making rap music I was 19 and very enthusiastic about the craft. I had been listening to rappers my entire life. And to me for a very long time the pinnacle of success in my mind’s eye was a rapper with millions of fans. Up until recently I held to that belief. Though even still the year after year I knew I wouldn’t pursue a career in music for the entirety of my life. The older I got I saw men like Elon Musk, Jeff Beezos, and Mark Zuckerberg to be the pinnacle of what I would like to be. Something about creating a product and having people use it everyday really strikes a chord within me. After I realized that I would like to one day go in that direction I made a deal with myself that once I made some considerable success in music I would head in that direction. But after listening to a Gary Vee podcast talking about how he saw entrepreneurship as like boxing, were practically everybody has losses I didn’t feel so bad cutting loose my ties with music. I don’t see the time I spent doing music has gone in vain. The way I am is I have to see something for myself. Even if people tell me it’s not gonna work. I have to put in the work and see for my own two eyes. Had I never pursued music I would 100% have that desire compounding in my heart and in my mind. Though I love music like most people there was a part of me honestly getting into it because I felt that was the only way I could get the world to validate me and see me as a good enough person. But after doing this podcast I realized that I am enough and that I don’t need to be famous, have a lot of girls, or even make a lot of money to validate that. I’m enough because I’m never going to stop trying to push myself to be a better person. That’s a person who I’d want my son to be. Realizing that released the shackles I had to my rap ambitions. Taking that logic course made me realize how much I love solving difficult problems. I think my potential overlaps being an entertainer. I was trying to reach a specific community of people through my music. I think I could reach the same community of people and service them in an even more meaningful with the next idea that I have.

Today I Learned I have to punch in on verses. I was recording a song and I was having a tough time trying to say the shit in the particular way that it needed to be said. I struggled for awhile. I couldn’t my rhythmn and tone the way I wanted when recording the lyrics. It finally dawned upon me to to apply the method I used in my logic class. I broke down the verses into three sections and recorded each section separately. This made it so much easier for me to say the lyrics the way I wanted to say it. To say the lyrics in a way that I think would make somebody want to listen to the song over and over again. I could see this method helping me in experiment with different ways of how to use my voice in delivering lyrics. Normally I have a deadpan delivery but I’d like to see other ways I can say shit.

Write + Freestyle. (Today I Learned #102) by Della Mbaacha

Today I learned that when you go all in people want you to win. I took my final for my logic class and leading up to that point I was studying as much as I could to do well enough to understand the material for this section. For the previous two sections I was one foot in one foot out. I had my attention divided between my rap shit and my school shit and it clearly showed in my grades with this class specifically. Once I knew I had to momentarily let go of my rap shit and go as hard as possible with my school shit that’s when I really started to stand out in the logic class. If I got a question wrong I would of email the professor for the correct solution. During class discussions I would point out helpful techniques I’d use to learn the material. I became an asset to the class rather than a nusance. I operated like it was life or death and it showed no matter how hard I tried to be discreate. I noticed that the professor enjoyed seeing me push myself to understand the material. Which was even more positive reenforcement for me to at the very least go down swinging. Taking the final I realized I had come a long way because it was significantly easier than the previous exams. I just checked my grade now and I passed the class I was most unsure if. I’m pretty sure the man gave me a boost but honestly grade wise it doesn’t matter. What matters most, to me, was whether I learn the shit he was teaching or not. And I surely did. This moment parallels with how I noticed how my uncle’s would look out for me when they saw with their own two eyes that I was doing everything to help myself. I’m now convinced that whenever you go all out and honestly strive for something like it’s life or death there are going to be a community of people that are going to watch and help you whether you know it or not. That’s pretty sweet.

Small repetitive things matter the most. (Today I Learned #100) by Della Mbaacha