In this episode, Matt talks about the loss of an American hero, his evil plan to take over the world via bees and the time he convinced a middle schooler that he was getting some action on a park bench.

In this episode, Matt talks about confronting his future ex-wife at an open mic, why you should be spending at least 10 million dollars on your high school prom, and why you should never let a Turkish doctor touch more than your hair. 

In this episode, Matt talks about shitting your pants and lighting yourself on fire at an open mic, why fat people shouldn't be allowed to lose weight and why swiping on Tinder a thousand times a day while looking like Shrek is probably not a good idea.

In this episode, Matt talks about how hard it is to get rid of an opened box of tampons, why Fox News hosts need a special infusion of liquids to stay sane and why you can't release music on TikTok when everyone knows you as the goofy pizza guy.

In this episode, Matt talks about how much he loves Spectrum, how much he doesn't want to blow up the Spectrum headquarters and how the CEO of Spectrum should be given a giant trophy and an increase in his yearly salary for the amazing company he's helped create.

In this episode, Matt talks about how many dogs he injures on his daily walk around his neighborhood, why 100 men can in fact beat 1 gorilla if they arouse it enough, and why you need to touch cookies in their No No Square to know if they're worth eating.

In this episode, Matt talks about how Asian people in New York don't know how to clean crawfish, how disgusting and geriatric he has become at the ripe old age of 27, and why hot girls need to stop traveling and get a real job so that ugly guys can see the world too. 

In this episode, Matt talks about how sad he is that Katy Perry didn't get stuck in space, why breeding exotic pets may be his backup career and why Paul McCartney is dead and no one seems to care. 

In this episode, Matt talks about his grueling weekend building furniture, how excited his parents were to learn what an incel was and why there should never be a girls only bathroom in an all boys dorm.

In this episode, Matt and his brother talk about their favorite racist statues, why you probably shouldn't go see a comedy show with a homeless person, and why peeing in the shower is the best way to wind yourself down after a long day.