In this episode, Matt talks about America taking back its broke ex boyfriend, why Martha Stewart is the most dangerous woman in the world, and why he's never going to slide into a woman's DMs ever again.

In this episode, Matt talks about the beautiful life of a rat in New York City, why every country thinks their men are pieces of garbage and how he's missed out on finding his wife because he refuses to give out compliments.

In this episode, Matt talks about his love for pregnant women at the gym, how good he is at fixing toilets and why robots need to take over so he doesn't have to marry someone dumb as bricks.

In this episode, Matt talks about his expertise in building grandmas house snail enclosures, why parents need to feed one of their twins more food and his failed dream of becoming a Pokemon (card) master.

In this episode, Matt talks about his addiction to taking girls on dates to chain restaurants, why the New York Mets are going to win the 2024 World Series and why the gay allegations against him make some kind of sense.

In this episode, Matt talks about the awful food they make at resorts in the Dominican Republic, why being a paparazzo is the lamest job on earth and why you should definitely stab your hand with a pencil.

In this episode, Matt talks about getting poison ivy on his Johnson, why Eminem needs to be a rat every once in a while, and the reason he knows nothing about New York pizza.

In this episode, Matt talks about the wasps taking over his parents house, why Tupperware and grade school teachers deserve a special place in hell, and why he's addicted to shoving tiny strings between his teeth.

In this episode, Matt talks about why ducks need to learn some respect, the part of his body that would be most delicious, and how he may have been the biggest snitch in middle school. 

In this episode, Matt talks about slathering himself in ocean juices on a Long Island pier, the kinds of confidential documents he would steal as President and why he doesn't know what anyone's eye color is.