If the latest tip is correct, Puddle is gone, having served the Lord by leading a peace loving religion until his dying day.  Unfortunately for our tipsters, this sounds all too familiar.  Perhaps we should stop offering a cash reward for ANY tip about Puddle's whereabouts, and only offer the cash for a tip leading to Puddle being found?  If you or anyone you know has information on the whereabouts of Puddle, please post to social media using #justiceforpuddle or email your hot tip to [email protected] Together, we will #findpuddle

Jake turns to Amanda for investment advice.  Turns out, both of them financially benefit from Daddy dying on Jake and blowing up.  Also Jake got reward money for helping to capture Kathy Ireland?  What?

Susan is here - the chef from Pair-ee, and Alison's good Judy from college.  Except, uh-oh, Billy's into Susan.  What will come from this?  I think you know.

Jo is expressing an uncertainty about her ability to afford Reed Carter's baby.  Not that the baby costs more because Reed Carter is the father, although he would fetch a handsome sum for his services in this regard.  

But it is all about Jane and Sydney and Chris - with Jake coming to the rescue.  Does Jake get his male feminist card back?  Or half back?  

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Well, would you look at this show truckin' along?  We are four episodes in, people seem to have gotten over the murder of Teri Spencer, Carrie is seducing the father of her child, Hillary is sleeping with a detective, Brian seems to be obsessed with Sarah, and David and Sarah are going to get married!  I'm sure nothing will go wrong with their SURPRISE WEDDING TOMORROW THAT THEY ARE NOT TELLING HILLARY ABOUT!

Also, during this show's original airing, Taco Bell was advertising 29 cent tacos, and let me tell you, we could all use that back in our lives.

Amanda Woodward, she works in mysterious ways.  Alison asks for help with Elizabeth, and Amanda continues to torture Alison by firing Elizabeth and making sure Billy finds out.  Jo misreads everything and somehow asks Alison if she's having trouble with Billy, who already moved out of the apartment while Jo was there eating breakfast.

Jake goes home to see his father, Jo announces that he is never coming back to Melrose Place, so of course he is back by the end of the episode.  You know, it's how it goes.

Chris is coming on strong to Sydney, asking if she's decent underneath those sheets after he tells Jane that she's too important to him for them to sleep together.

But here's the biggest news of the episode: Dr. Peter Burns has arrived, and Teege has a theory that his character is just to prove a point about the niceties of polite society.  Mary disagrees.

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While Mary's not being persuaded, Teege is liking this show, dare we say, a bit more than Melrose Place!  The drama, the intrigue, the underlying motivations never fully explored by the writers, it's all so fantastic!

Plot twist: Eric continues to be awful, this week seeming to pimp out his girlfriend on the hopes of getting a break in his music career.

And we learn why Sarah is so squeamish about moving too fast with David - she's holding out for her first time to be special.  

Also, some fun back story on what awful people Chaz and Hank were.  #stillspinningoff

All this, and more, on this episode of Models, Inc.!

Welp.  Reed's parents are in town, and are offering to help Jo with their baby.  How did their baby get inside Jo?  Perhaps we'll one day have to ask Dr. Shaw.

Michael is continuing through amnesia, even though there is no brain injury.  When told that she can help him by taking him to places he had been before, Kimberly promptly tells Michael they're moving.  Jane and Matt come by to get Michael's amnesiatic signature on the business papers, and Sydney is threatened with sexual assault until she confesses to murder.  

Amanda is a total bitch to Alison, moving Billy in upstairs and right next to her at work.  Never let it be said that Ms. Woodward doesn't get even.

And of course Kathy Ireland, whatever her character's name is, is continuing the plot against Jake.  Palmer ignores that fact that Jake is at home at Melrose Place, and even though Jake WORE A WIRE TO BUST PALMER WITH THE FBI, Palmer goes to see his sweet daughter, Amanda.

It was the final scene, so no word yet if it made Amanda immediately want to go hook up with Jake.  Tune in next week!

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*** RED ALERT - ***

Is it odd that "Red Alert -" provides no information after the dash?  Well then, that's just because you're not a true believer.  Mary calls in to report a hot lead - that puddle used the Melrose Place money to fund his cult, until they ultimately committed mass suicide to get on the space ship hiding behind the Halle Bopp comet.

Learn more, and confuse the FBI with your browsing history, by going to heavensgate.com

If you or anyone you know has information on the whereabouts of Puddle, please post to social media using #justiceforpuddle or email your hot tip to [email protected] Together, we will #findpuddle