The key of the season has truly been found!  Carrie finds out that her son is actually alive and well, and she tries to crash into his life by having an affair with his father.  David and Sarah agree to pursue a secret relationship, since Hillary disapproves.  What could go wrong?  Two suspects in Teri's murder are identified: Hillary because Teri received a threatening note about leaving and was seen fighting with Teri on the balcony, and Carrie who had flashbacks of fighting with Teri on the balcony.  The message: don't fight on balconies.

Meanwhile Hillary lays down the law with Detective Guy and lets him know how he will and will not be allowed to investigate Hillary's people.

Y'all, this show is great!

Look - we're all adults here.  So are we going to make repeated references to the frequency with which Laura Leighton yells, "She's gonna finger me!"?  Yes.  I'm sorry.  Skip it now if this is a challenge for you.  We'll put the explicit label on.

We are back with a reminder that Amanda hates Alison, Alison's father is harassing her and her sister, the marriage to Billy is on again off again, Jake is going gay - or at least leaving women even while he fishes Kathy Ireland out of the ocean.  Jo is around, and Matt literally stands in the background while Michael claims an impossible claim: he remembers everything about being a doctor but otherwise has amnesia like Dr. Aviva Lester!

Y'all, if you've been waiting for us to get back to Melrose Place, here it is.  Season Three ... This Place 'Bout To Blow!

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Well through a lot of back and forth, we reached an agreement: Mary would watch just two episodes of Models, Inc. and Teege would review them all.  So let's get started!  We bring you this one special episode of Models, Inc. in the hopes of getting you hooked on the show not currently available for purchase on DVD, digital download, or any streaming service.  Legally.

But WOW was the show good and yes, this is Teege writing the description.  Join us for this special episode that had to be broken into three parts even though we had just one advertiser.

And if you decide to watch Models, Inc. - please, please, please, email us at [email protected].  Please tell us we are nota lone.

Each season, Teege and Mary identify the episode that they think will be the hardest for the other to argue is high art / trash.  We're living entirely in the second half of season two here.  It has everything - Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Pool Fights, Sham Weddings, Murders, Resurrections, Hot Gay Hand Holding ... everything.

Join us as we review the best, and worst, that season two had to offer.

This season went down much easier than the first, and I think we can all agree on the MVP: Sydney Andrews-Mancini!

Between the multiple murder plots, the Jake / Amanda / Billy / Jo / Alison love quintrangle, Kimberly's death and resurrection, and Matt's direct to camera recitation of Don't Ask, Don't Tell - this season gave us all some good fodder for the greatest of debates.  Melrose Place: High Art for the Generations, or just a trashy soap opera, and that's okay?

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If you've been searching for Puddle in vain, perhaps it's because you've only been searching on the ground.  Our latest hot tip on the whereabouts of Puddle instructs us to look up to the sky.

If you or anyone you know has information on the whereabouts of Puddle, please post to social media using #justiceforpuddle or email your hot tip to [email protected]

Together, we will #findpuddle

The season finale of season two had everything!  Attempted murder, a life saved by the first ex-wife, lawsuits, betrayals, surprise testimony, Jake juggling Amanda and Jo, Alison running from her wedding, Mr. Parker's heal turn, a surprise heroine appears in the form of Alison's newfound sister, Matt kisses a boy (off screen, of course) - and surprisingly little attention is paid to the fact that apparently Billy's mom is too sick to travel to his wedding.

Don't worry though, Billy doesn't seem to be bothered by that news.

Also, this week's sponsor is real!  http://www.baldguygreetings.com - promo code MELROSE

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Well this episode title left little to the imagination, but a lot to be desired.  This week, we are joined by Gail for discussions on:

- Why Chaz is awful

- A heated debate on whether or not Amanda Woodward is a trashy mess

- the way Melrose Place went to rape jokes and tropes with ease in the early 90s

At the end, as always, our special guest casts her vote on whether or not Melrose Place is a trash soap opera or high art for the generations.

Also, Gail wants you to tell her about the hardware on your door.

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