Y'all - we're starting to think that new Kimberly might be ... just ... a ... bit ... off.  But, she's on a mission, and soon, it will all become clear!

Jake stands Amanda up again to be with Jo, this time forcing her to be stranded on the ocean on the Pretty Lady, just weeks after she ruthlessly murdered her baby's father on the Pretty Lady.  Jake's a jerk.  When he finally doesn't ditch Amanda, Jo becomes the victim of Sarah's domestic abuse situation.  

Billy and Alison briefly remind us that they're getting married soon.

Sydney hosts a party for her ladies of the night, only to have Lauren released and break her picture frame.

Y'all, really, Kimberly is crazy.

Also for your enjoyment: Crystal Gravy.  https://youtu.be/g0sjRG34DlA

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Kimberly has fully returned, and this is the wig snatch episode!  The original (by our estimation) wig snatch on prime time television!

What else happened?  Sydney tells Billy and Allison they're going to get divorced, Alison's dad hires a pushy wedding planner, Jane gets told she should design table cloths, and Amanda's mother shows up for the beginning of the Models Inc. spin off series!

In the arc of Melrose Place history, this episode may be one of the top five most significant episodes.

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Sammy Salami joins us to offer a hot tip on Puddle's whereabouts.  Rumor has it, he was trapped in the bottom of a backyard whale, euphemism implied.  

If you or anyone you know has information on the whereabouts of Puddle, please post to social media using #justiceforpuddle or email your hot tip to [email protected]

Together, we will #findpuddle

Dr. Michael Mancini successfully blackmails his way into a Chief Residency position by bringing a prostitute to his boss' home.  You'll have to watch and/or listen to understand.

Amanda threatens to cut out the eyes of her handy man, while Jo, FRESH FROM A MURDER ONE EXONERATION, stands by as an accomplice.

Alison is dating her therapist, much to her therapist's surprise.  You know who's not surprised?  Amanda!

All this and watch us get sued by a famous knife company on this week's great episode.

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Amanda is oddly invested (not literally) in getting Michael invested (literally) in Mancini Designs.  Sydney then decides that she can remove the "silent" from "silent partner."

Billy and Alison are planning their wedding, and Alison has identified one last boyfriend before the wedding - her therapist.

Also, stalker alert - Ted Ramsey has arrived and he has drilled a hole in Amanda Woodward's shower.  What could go wrong?

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Kay Beacon is back - but likely just for one episode where she tries to rent a space that already has a Mancini Designs sign over it.  How will Jane afford this?  Easy - she just inhereted 100 Gees from Gramm who died and left a sweet $100,000 to Jane and Michael Mancini.  But uh-oh, Michael and Sydney, you know, the OTHER Mrs. Mancini, show up to claim their half and now Jane has got them bills, bills, bills.

Michael gay bashes Matt.  Jake forces Jo to work at her crime scene.  Jo has to tell a guy that she's pregnant with her murder victims baby, but she leaves out the key details.  

But here we go with the main story line for the back quarter of the season - Alison goes home and is clearly troubled by nightmares and painful memories of life in Wisconsin.

This week, we are joined by an expert guest, author E. Michael Mettille, who wrote the Lake of Dragons trilogy (with two more editions coming) and Hell and the Hunger.  You can check out his work here: https://www.themikereynolds.com/

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Michael tries several times to kill Sydney, and is either interrupted, thwarted, or chickens out.  Sydney knows that's how their love is for real.  

Jane gets involved in the blackmail business.  Hopefully it will be more fruitful than the design business!

Alison and Billy are getting married but in a story as old as time, they can't decide on who does what for wedding planning.  Plus, Alison decides to withhold sex until their wedding night.

Jake crosses every single boundary in one episode, chasing after the new owner of the Pretty Lady, yelling at AMANDA WOODWARD AT WORK, and knocking her pen cup off the desk.

Jo's having the baby.  Absolutely no one believes this baby is coming to Melrose Place, but we know better...

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Oh goodness are things getting real.  Michael and Sydney get married - they actually do it.  These crazy kids - it's amazing what sibling rivalry and blackmail will do to bring people together.

Jo is doing a photo shoot with the cast of Models, Inc. when she passes out, because that's apparently a sign of pregnancy now.  Ironically, not only is the baby's dad dead (Reed) - so is the baby's mom (redacted due to spoilers).

Amanda harasses Alison for her miniature engagement ring, leading Teege down a rabbit hole of dread and paranoia.

This is an episode all about weddings and marriage, so of course, these awful writers made Matt be all over the show.

"Does Michael know about this?"

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We asked, and our listeners responded.  The first tip on the whereabouts of Puddle is in, and it just makes our hearts soar.  Rumor has it, Puddle is a national treasure, floating along a river.

If you or anyone you know has information on the whereabouts of Puddle, please post to social media using #justiceforpuddle or email your hot tip to [email protected]

Together, we will #findpuddle

Well, Sydney's plans finally come into view.  She is outright blackmailing Michael, her sister's ex-husband who is still paying alimony, into marrying her.  Is it a good idea?  Does it demonstrate good judgment?  Will this end well?

No, no, and no.  But is it fun and entertaining?  Yes.

Jake takes a swing at Billy - and connects!  In this moment, we are all Jake Hansen.

And Jo, well, she is facing a very serious charge of murder in the first degree.  So of course it wraps up in one episode.  You know, as life happens.

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