Welp, we did it. We recorded a 2.5 hour episode about the entire second half of the first season of Melrose Place. If we can do it, you can do it. So grab some snacks, take a quick pee break, get in your comfy chair, and get ready to flash forward to season 2 with us. 

Heads up: Some slight technical difficulties this week. Very slight. But Nan is not a savvy enough editor to do much about it. 

Anyhoo, this week we have a stock storyline featuring two characters we've never seen before and will never see again. Also, where's Matt? Plus, Nan has a big idea to put us out of our misery faster, and Christopher is into it. 

This week, stuff happens but it feels like not much happens? Join Nan and Christopher as we continue to shelter in Melrose Place. Matt makes some progress on his lawsuit, we definitely get the feeling Michael is gonna cheat, Jane is weirdly philosophical but in a very Jane way, and Alison is all over the place. 

Sandy gets herself off this sinking ship that is Melrose Place. Also, Matt finally gets his storyline from the storyline closet. 

Can't get enough of your own student debt? Well here's a whole story arc dedicated to someone else's! 

Just know that at some point in the middle things go a little haywire but we get it back on track. Which is more than we can say for Melrose Place. Anyway, this time around, Billy and Allison have a very weird fight. All. Episode. Long. The inevitable finally happens: one seed is lost and another is planted. And don't get your friends dogs as surprise gifts! 

This week we have a very timely episode (of Melrose Place, the show we're watching -- stuck that in there for the search), full of awkward dialogue that was clearly written by white people. 

This week, Nan and Christopher talk for 5 minutes about our Lost Episode, which was really the universe doing y'all a favor. Then we talk about Responsibly Yours, possibly one of the best Melrose Place episodes yet. Which is really saying...something. 

Somehow this show is getting worse. If it were a patient of Dr. Mancini, it would be flatlining. But we use the time to get a little personal with you. Oh the horror. 

Join us for yet another week of making fun of Melrose Place, complete with Fuck 12 energy and a call to donate to bail funds. Also pardon the interruption in the middle -- someone had to poop. And by someone we mean Nan. 

We are not the podcast for learning about the call to defund police and police and prison abolition, but some recommendations:

Check out the website for Critical Resistance. 

Read The End of Policing by Alex Vitale. 

Find a bail fund and give it money. 

Check out the work of Mariame Kaba.