Mental Health & Addiction Podcast: Mind Matters by Gordon Bruin

Dive into the eye of today's political storm with our latest episode, where chaos meets clarity. 

In this thought-provoking discussion, we explore the impact of current events on mental health and how discernment can be your guiding light amidst societal upheaval. From reflecting on a classic film to dissecting the power dynamics that shape our perceptions, this episode is a deep dive into navigating truth in an era of misinformation.

Key insights include:

Join us as we unravel the threads binding politics, perception, and peace of mind—tune in now for a journey towards personal empowerment!

Discover the magic of words and their power to shape your reality in this transformative episode! Dive into a life-changing conversation that explores:

- The profound impact of positive self-talk and how our language influences our mindset.

Key takeaways from this episode include:

Don't miss out on these powerful insights—tune in now for an uplifting journey towards inner strength and joy!

Harness the magic woven into words, for they shape reality—this is the essence of "spelling." Bruce Lee once warned against self-deprecation, even in jest; our bodies can't discern sarcasm from sincerity. Words are a force, capable of conjuring joy and resilience within us.

Embrace affirmations as your inner mantra: "Yes, I can!" Let this be your battle cry against life's challenges. As you journey through life's labyrinth, select paths sprinkled with delight and purpose. Positive language is a beacon guiding you towards peace.

Consider abracadabra—a spellbinding term that translates to manifestation through speech. Your vocabulary paints your world; choose hues of hope and compassion over shades of despair.

Cultivate an indomitable spirit—a "can-do" attitude fortified by self-belief and humor. Dance with challenges rather than dread them; let laughter be your shield. Discard any cloak of victimhood, acknowledging that entitlement yields nothing but stagnation.

Remember Mark Watney’s grit from "The Martian": when all seems lost, tackle problems sequentially until salvation dawns—it's about perseverance in adversity.

Life presents puzzles often solved not by seeking distant wisdom but by recognizing answers before our eyes—like Zen teachings suggest: enlightenment may await at our doorstep if we're willing to see it.

For those yearning to create—to write without inhibition—the act itself unravels writer’s block, revealing artistry amidst effort. Life isn’t about reaching a destination but savoring the growth along each step taken.

In this comparison-riddled society where Olympic triumphs overshadow personal victories—we must resist measuring ourselves against these fleeting pedestals of success. Instead treasure individuality; honor personal progress without succumbing to comparison's corrosive gaze.

As you navigate existence:

- Celebrate your unique talents.

This morning, as I thumbed through an old notebook filled with musings from the last couple of years, my thoughts turned to a theme that's been prominent in recent therapy sessions: change. The concept of "decision" intrigued me, derived from "incise," which means cutting away all but one path.

I reflected on a couple I'm counseling who are trapped in a cycle of constant bickering. In solo discussions, each hopes I can 'fix' the other. My advice was clear: transformation begins within. Like Gandhi’s peaceful resistance changed India without violence, we hold immense power to alter our lives by making firm decisions.

Take yelling in arguments—it's a choice; silence can be chosen over escalation. This echoes Amy Cuddy's book "Presence," where perseverance and decision lead to success—much like when I learned to surf at 60 by focusing not on the tumultuous waves but on the distant horizon.

Scattered notes reminded me of influential words shaping destinies—Denzel Washington being told he'd find fame or Tom Brady's self-assured claim as the best quarterback before proving it true. These stories underscore belief’s potency.

In essence, this podcast urges you to embrace decisiveness—to cut through indecision and focus tenaciously on your goals. If anger is your challenge, vow never to raise your voice again; adopt calmness and kindness instead. Remember that greatness often stems from relentless pursuit despite imperfections—a beacon guiding us towards personal mastery and respectful interaction with others.

Yesterday, I sat with a client entangled in a high-stress legal battle, struggling to anchor himself amidst life's tumultuous waves through the simple act of breathing. Despite his external success, he found himself adrift in anxiety's grasp, unable to still his mind long enough to engage in our prescribed box breathing exercises—a technique where breath is drawn, held, and released at equal intervals like the sides of a square.

In our session's heart, we delved into the essence of this struggle. The relentless surge of stress hormones left him perpetually weary because he neglected to allow his body its needed respite. Breathing—this involuntary whisper of life—is governed by two forces within us: one primes us for action; the other invites tranquility. Box breathing beckons focus and control over this automatic function, empowering the rational mind over instinctive reactions.

I shared my morning ritual with him: five minutes dedicated solely to box breathing before greeting my day or entering the gym's silent embrace—an oasis from technology’s ceaseless clamor that so often ensnares us. Our devices are not inherently sinister; they are mere tools awaiting our intentful command rather than dictating our attention through endless scrolls.

Yet we live in an age where connection is paradoxically scarce—where loneliness looms despite constant digital chatter—and 25% of Americans feel isolated without a confidant for their deepest troubles. My plea echoed through each word spoken on my podcast: slow down your pace and breathe deeply amidst life’s relentless race.

Thus lies my counsel: invite stillness into your mornings and nights with deliberate breaths that calm both body and soul. For even amid chaos as unyielding as Florida’s frenetic highways beneath sweltering skies—where urgency seems etched into every mile—we must remember that serenity begins within ourselves when we choose presence over haste.

So take these moments gifted by time itself; let them be filled with quietude achieved through measured breaths—a practice not just suggested but essential for navigating life's stormy seas towards shores graced with peace.

I wanna start this morning's podcast with a reminder of some of the things that I've talked about before as it relates to the mindset of those who seem to be the most successful at navigating through the challenges of life. The stormy seas of life, all of us face obstacles daily, whether it's anxiety, depression, feelings of isolation. And I was reading a study recently that that states that about 25% of Americans have no one, not one person they feel close enough to share a significant problem with. And isolation we're we're not we're not built to be isolated from other people. From my experience of of being a mental health therapist for so many years, what we truly desire as human beings and need is a feeling of deep connection, a feeling of oneness with at least another person, and hopefully more than that, having friends.

Right? Perhaps you've heard of the longevity studies, one of the longest running studies that have have ever been conducted, at Harvard, and basically states this in a nutshell, that those who live the longest and are the healthiest are surrounded by friends, meaning they have deep connections with other people. I and in this study, it also states that isolation, feeling isolated and not connected to other people is more detrimental to our health than, like, smoking cigarettes. Now that's mind boggling. And so so the then we ask the question, well, what do we do if we feel isolated?

And as I've thought about this, I I, you know, I've come to the conclusion, if you want a friend, you've gotta be a friend. You're instead of waiting for someone to come and reach out to you, you be the one to try to reach out to another person and to listen and to hear and understand another person. Be a friend to them so that they can feel heard and understood, and then they perhaps can be a friend to you. Now in this process, we've got to be very mindful and aware of those whom we pick and choose to be our friends, because there is this powerful, thing that happens between people, and it's called influence. So we influence others, others influence us, and so what I'm suggesting is to be very mindful and aware of the friends, those individuals you choose to connect with and want to have a deeper relationship with.

I would encourage you to, at at least, the best that you can, to look at their characteristics, their character traits to see if that will be a positive influence on you. If you are surrounding yourself with negative people, with negative influencers, then they drain energy from you. I I I love a statement. I remember reading from from Emily dick Dickinson who said, I felt it shelter to speak with you. I felt it shelter to speak with you.

Do you have anyone in your life that feels safe that you can talk to, that they're not gonna take the information that you give them about some of the deepest struggles of your soul and use them against you. I think that's what prevents most people from, from reaching out a little bit because they don't they don't have that confidence that they'll keep, you know, what you're talking about between you and truly be there as a friend to help bear your burdens and to lift your spirits, so to speak. But if you're struggling to feel connected to other people, I would suggest that you be the one to try to to reach out and be a friend to others instead of waiting for them to come to you and then kinda watch what happens. And in the process of being with another person, I would suggest and this is something we learn in the counseling field. It's very, very challenging to do.

You might think it's easy to do, but it's extremely challenging. It's something called listening. Listening with out jumping in and giving your solutions that, you know, this is what you should do in order to correct this to correct this problem. We'll do this. You should break up with this person.

You should, you know, and on and on and on according to your opinion. Just listen. Listening and creating a safe environment for someone to explore some of their options is the most powerful thing you can do. And and many of the things that I've heard from from others well, actually, let me back up a little bit. This this past week, I was asked to speak at a young women's conference.

And so there were 4 different sections that I spoke in 40 minutes apiece or about 25, young ladies in each of the, sections. And, anyway and there was question and answer periods that that I said, do you guys have any questions? You know? And and let them know what I did for as a as a career, and I was a mental health therapist. And one of the young young ladies says, is it ever difficult for you working with someone?

And I go, yeah. Pretty much every day. And she goes, well, why why is that? And I go, well, it's because I can't change another person. People come to me with their challenges and problems, and my the only thing I can do is create a safe environment to help them explore possible options for solving their own problems.

I can't solve a problem for them, so I can't take their pain away. I can't fix them. And and sometimes that's challenging because those individuals that that, you you know, been working with, are dealing with some pretty significant issues that have become entrenched. And helping an individual unwind, or untangle themselves from some of the challenges that that have been years in the making is very, very challenging. And so as a therapist, I talked about learning to set boundaries.

It's the same thing in any relationship. So I'd ask you to do the same thing, setting a boundary. So picture in your minds, like, what a boundary is. It means there's there's a division between parts. And when you're too enmeshed with another person, that means you're taking too much on yourself.

And part of of of being a mental health therapist, is like an emergency room doctor. You have to be able to put your professional hat on to listen with empathy and understanding and kindness without allowing some of the very challenging and hard things you hear to impact you so much that you can't do your work. And that's one that's one of the challenging things of of being a good friend or being a therapist is setting clear and strong boundaries. So when you're able to set clear and strong boundaries, then you you're showing some you're able to exude confidence that you can bear another person's suffering without it crushing you. That's what a true friend is.

But take a look at yourself and and make sure that you're healthy. I I do remember a colleague that as we were in the early years of our career, and it it's quite a challenge to become a mental health a licensed mental health therapist. 7 years of college, 6 or 7 years of college, you have to get your master's degree, and then you have to get 3 to 4000 hours, depending on the state in which you're getting licensed in, of supervised training of doing group therapy, individual counseling with a supervisor looking at all of your work, then you have to sit and take national exams, which are very, very challenging. And so the idea of getting through all that and then actually getting your license, that's that's the that's one of the major pillars or or challenges that someone faces in in this particular career. And I remember a colleague who was, you know, a couple years ahead of me.

And so as we were, collecting our hours working at a facility, actually a methadone clinic, which is a very challenging place to work. I remember him finally getting his license. Got all his hours, got all his schooling done, and then he showed me his his card, his license with his name on it. And then he said something stunning to me. He says, you know what?

I'm not doing this for a living. I'm gonna be a commercial painter. And I said, what? And he says, yep. I've I've been trying and trying and trying, and I just can't do it.

I get too involved in other people's problems, and it it it take takes too much of a toll on me. And so he went through his whole process, got his license, and then he chose to do something else. So blessings upon him that he knew that about himself and knew that if he continued in that area, that it wouldn't be good for him. So changing courses is okay. Then you just go you just go back to the drawing board, get up, and keep trying.

So, anyway, so what's the message of this podcast as I've kind of been rambling along here with some thoughts this morning. If you want a friend, be a friend. Set boundaries. Try to figure out what that means for you. You cannot solve another person's problem.

You can only be there to show them that you care about them, you love them, and that and there's some healing that actually takes place as you bear witness to another person's story without it crushing you and without you feeling like you need to solve that person's problems. K. One of the very first things that I that I learned from a a great mentor as I got into the field says people are gonna come to you with very significant and problems. After the therapy session, allow them to take those problems with them. Don't take them home with you.

And as I've learned to do that, it's allowed me to spend the last 30 years doing this work while at the same time giving them as much empathy and love and understanding as possible as I'm striving to help them find their solutions to the problems and challenges they face.

Well, here I am beginning of another week. It's Monday morning. It's actually 4:27 AM. This is a typical morning for me. I'm sitting in the parking lot of the gym that I come to, and it's doesn't open till 5.

Not a soul in the parking lot sitting here by myself, not one other car. On my drive in, I think, it's about a 20:20 minute drive to the gym. I don't know. Maybe saw 1 or 2 other cars. And maybe one of these days, I'll figure out why I'm doing this.

I keep asking myself that question. Why are you doing this? But it's the one thing I've I've somehow committed myself to. I look forward to it. I'm excited to get up in the morning and and exercise even though it's very painful and it hurts.

I think it's a positive thing to do that. I think it it helps in my life. Anyway, And usually as I'm driving in, I'm I'm listening to books on tape, sometimes I'll listen to scripture in the morning, I was trying to, gain a deeper understanding, and I'm I was thinking of the concept, and perhaps you've heard this before, the story of Jim Carey. Right? And the concept of faith and creating things to happen.

Why are we here? What is it? What is your unique mission in life? What is my mission in life? Why are we doing what we're doing?

What's the point? In a and all these inspiring stories the one of Jim Carrey where he wanted to become a professional actor. He wanted to be successful and For a number of years, he would drive up apparently and overlook Los Angeles, and and he would constantly be saying to himself that he's gonna be successful. And one Knight in particular, as the story goes, he wrote himself a check for $10,000,000, and he put a date on it. If I recall correctly, it was, you know, somewhere in 1985.

And in the check, he said for acting services rendered. And then he gave himself 5 years to accomplish that. And then Thanksgiving 1985, he received a check for $10,000,000 for his role in the movie Dumb and Dumber. When I hear stories like that, and I constantly am listening to other authors that are, have been extremely successful and they tell their stories, I really get frustrated and irritated, and I'm wondering why. I don't know if you're like me, but I I hear stories like that and I go, yeah.

That's like 1 in a 1000000 chance. How many other people have said and done the same thing and yet have not achieved that? Like, right now, I'm watching, the Olympic swimming trials, and the only ones all there's there's, I don't know, hundreds of athletes, elite athletes that have gotten to the point to even attempt to reach their dream of becoming an Olympian. And so I'm watching the races and then and then and and the ones who win, the first and second place, the first place in in a race, they are automatically on the team. And the second place, they most likely will get on the team as they have parameters in which they work in an order.

I think they can only take 26 males, 26 females to go to the Olympics. But what about what about the individual who has done exactly the scene the same thing like a Jim Carrey. They've they've written their dreams of being an Olympian. They've they've visualized. They've practiced.

The effort is the same as anyone else's effort, and they finish 3rd. A hundredth of a second behind the other person. There's tons of stories like that. What about those individuals? What what do what do we do with that?

And then in this concept of setting your goals, believing, exercising faith, we cannot ignore the reality that that is reality. That's a fact. And yet the media seems to only focus on the one who does it. And then we all compare ourselves to that. And and so that that leaves the only the only option of that is to leave one feeling discouraged, depressed that they're not not reaching their goals or had didn't reach their goals because there is a period of time when it's, like, your time's done.

It's the same thing as I mentioned in some of these podcasts before, like with the the Navy Seals or United States Special Forces, and you you hear the ones who make it through hell week and and that intense training. And one of the things that I've noticed over and over again, the only ones who didn't make it are the ones who quit. And and, like, it's, like, it's a terrible thing that they quit, that they're not one of us. And it's like, I'm just not so sure that's a super positive thing, and I'm not so sure that it's right. Because I think, and I'm thinking of Phil Knight's book, Shoe Dog, one of my favorite all time books.

I I think he's a great writer. I just I just love that book on how he helped develop or he developed Nike, like, the the, one of the most powerful brand companies in the world. And he just he just talks about the many failures along the way. And one of the sayings that him and his his close colleagues who developed the company said, well, back to the drawing board, back to the drawing board, back to the drawing board. I think that's healthy.

I think that's positive, and I think we should stop judging ourselves and comparing ourselves only with the elite champion as if that's the be all and end all because none of that stuff lasts. I think the important thing so if you're harsh on yourself and you judge yourself that you think you just have to be number 1 all the time, that's not mentally healthy. I think we need to embrace the journey to set high standards, but to be involved in that in in achieving things little step by step so that your confidence increases. I've worked with a lot of of young, the upper 20, 30 year old type individuals who seem to be so discouraged and depressed and anxious in life is there they seem overwhelmed with functioning in the world. How can they do it?

What do they even wanna believe in? Not believing they have the capacity to do it. Maybe because they're they're just judging themselves in an unrealistic way. I think I think as far as, a mental health hack, the the thing that is important for us to do is to set high standards for ourself. Again, a love statement by Michelangelo, the great sculptor, the greater danger lies in not setting our sights too high and falling short, but in setting our sights too low and achieving our mark.

So, yeah. It's good to dream big, But but we shouldn't allow ourselves to become deflated and too discouraged when things don't work out exactly the way we want them to as long as we are making incremental progress along the way. And I love the story also of an extreme an extreme athlete who has asked a question. You know, extreme athletes are the ones that really push themselves and have trained their bodies to do just amazing, physical, athletic, type things. Whether it's running a 100 miles, you know, whatever it is.

And an individual was asked this extreme athlete, well, what do you do when you're just broken, and you just can't go anymore? You know you're broken. You're broken physically, mentally, spiritually. It's like you're you're you you just can't take another step, and you have another 20 miles to run and the response of this extreme athlete I think is instructive for all of us and it and it can relate to anyone who's depressed, discouraged, who just doesn't think they have the ability to keep going or that their dreams aren't being fulfilled, change that mindset. And this is what he said.

He says, when I get in that state and I know I'm just busted, he he puts the question into his mind, what if I actually can do it? What if? What if I achieve it? What if I actually can make it to the end? What if?

And he says that question or the way he answers that question shifts everything. And it reminds me of of, another really cool book. It's called unbreakable by Tom Shea Who was, you know military dude Navy SEALs special forces dude, and he his whole book has to do with this concept of internal dialogue, the things that we say to ourselves. That how and it fits into Bruce Lipton's book, Biology of Belief, a cellular biologist that no matter what we say to ourselves, our bodies respond instantly. And so be mindful and aware of your internal dialogue.

Talk yourself up. Gotta save yourself. You gotta believe in yourself. Nobody's coming to do it. Gotta just keep working on what it is you're here to do.

What is your unique ability? How are you to impact the world? There's a reason why we live. It's a great mystery. And many many are of us are just continuing to try to understand, but, you know, as I was thinking of this this morning, you know, why why do we do any of the things we do?

And I think it's to make a difference, to make a difference in another person's life, to lighten the load of just one other person, to bring a teeny bit of relief from the challenge and and the quest that we're all facing in life and to look out and see what it is, what do you have to offer the world. But, again, talk yourself up. You know, and I'm thinking of, you know, when we're kind of taught don't be arrogant, don't be prideful, I'm thinking just thinking, the thought just came to my mind, you know, in Genesis in the bible, when god created the earth. There's a number of scriptures, I think, that say something like, and God saw these things, and they were good, and they were very good. That means God, the creator the great creator of all, looked at what he was doing and says, ah, this is good.

He was proud of what he created. And so it's it's I think it's a positive healthy thing to have self efficacy, to be confident in oneself, to create things, to achieve things, but not not to become arrogant because the process never ends, but to be full of love, to give, to encourage, but to constantly try to just be moving in life. Get out and do just a little something. If you're struggling with depression, overwhelmed by anxiety, I'm thinking of a young lady. I just she's amazing.

Went to church yesterday, and she taught a lesson. She's 22 years old and got up and taught a Sunday school lesson. That was our 3rd time teaching a lesson. And, anyway, she's amazing. She's a professional ballerina, and so she knows what it's like to get out and and and and she's truly amazing.

Not sure what her future holds there, but she gets in in front of the public and performs and and with the group that she's with. But as she's talking to me, she said, you know, yeah, I I can do that really well, but getting up in front of people and talking, that's extremely challenging for me. I don't do that very well. Well, that was her self perception. And as she got up yesterday, I could tell she was extremely nervous.

But when I approached her before the class, it says, hey. Are you are you are you ready? Ready to get going? And she says, I'm so I'm so nervous, but yet I'm so excited. And I go, ah, well, we'll be here with you.

You're just leading the discussion. But just and she did a phenomenal job. She had things organized thought. She led the discussion as we were, you know, talking about, you know, scripture. And, anyway, it was just she I admire her greatly because she's making an effort to make a difference.

And she did. She made a difference in my life. Just seeing her was inspirational, knowing how difficult it was for her, and yet she was willing to put herself out there. And it and it reminds me of one of my favorite quotes, Helen Keller. She said, security does not exist in nature nor did the bulk of, of children of men ever experience.

Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. So for what she did yesterday, she put herself out there. She got up. She tried to speak.

It's so challenging, so hard. I admire admire that. And sometimes things don't go go so great. We've had a couple in in the in the church I attend. We have a couple of young people because I I work with a congregation of young single adults.

And we've had a couple get up and actually pass out speaking. One light tipped over, you know, she just fell down. Boom. Fell over and and we all had to get around her. Are you okay?

Are you okay? And then another one recently almost did the same thing. He started wobbling. He said, woah. No.

No. No. No. Come sit down sit down. It's okay.

And just and just the fact that they're willing to get up and try, and it's okay. And, you know, and then we joke say, hey, if you guys and then you pass out, we'll pick you up. We'll be there. And we're here for you. We're we're all in this together.

We're all trying. Just give of yourself. Try. Anyway, there there's a big difference in those who are willing to reach out and try, and those whom whom I see that are are stuck and frozen, and they're not willing not willing to risk anything. So I would encourage you, point of this podcast, take a look inside yourself.

If there's some things that you're uncomfortable with, afraid of, try it. Try it. Move beyond your barriers. Keep making progress. Small and simple steps, whatever it might be.

Do something that's that's scary for you. Say hi to someone if that's if that's what your issue is. Anyway, hope hope something in this podcast might might be helpful for you.

At the crack of dawn, 4:03 AM to be precise, I'm en route to my temple of iron—the gym. It's a sacred ritual for me, one that doesn't require an alarm anymore; my body knows when it's time to rise and grind. The stillness before sunrise is where I thrive, especially from 5 to 8 AM. That’s when I dive into a symphony of physical exertion—cycling, swimming, lifting weights—with resistance training being my cornerstone.

Post-exercise bliss involves soaking in the spa's embrace while its jets massage away any lingering aches—a rare solace not many seek but one that rejuvenates me profoundly. The sauna follows suit with its sweltering heat fostering resilience within me through something called heat shock proteins—I've heard they're powerful allies for our immune system.

Life has taught me about intentionality—the art of crafting life rather than merely reacting to it—like sculptors of destiny rather than leaves blown by fate’s winds. Take Seneca’s wisdom or the tribulations faced by individuals like Phil Knight and Steve Jobs; their fierce intentions forged realities once deemed impossible.

I’ve witnessed stagnation too—people paralyzed by life’s harsh symphony who have lost hope and sight of their potential amid adversity. Yet our bodies are vessels capable of incredible feats if we dare push them beyond comfort zones—as evidenced last week when I overcame a knee injury with newfound knowledge on healing through unconventional methods.

The essence lies in pinpointing your core desires and etching them into existence; five clear-cut intentions can become your compass in this ever-changing dance we call life. Consistency is key—in health, skill acquisition, even peace itself as George Bernard Shaw hinted at balancing grounded pragmatism with celestial aspirations.

Visualize success like the Blue Angels pilots do before soaring skyward—it's about meticulous preparation followed by candid reflection for continuous improvement without taking offense at critical feedback because growth thrives on change and movement.

So as daybreak beckons and I head towards another session at the gym sanctuary, ponder this: What are your intentions? How will you seize today to mold tomorrow? Don’t let yesterday dictate your now—for every new dawn presents an opportunity for rebirth and creation anew.

I wanna introduce you to the concept of dailies. Dailies are small and simple things that you do on a consistent basis based on the values that you set for yourself, and you get out of the arena of going, do I really wanna do this or not? For example, exercise. Every single morning, well, 6 days a week, I wake up about 4 o'clock. I'm not I'm not a total advocate that just because I wake up at 4 o'clock, others need to wake up at 4 o'clock.

It doesn't work for everybody. But for me, one of the most critical things for my own mental health is I'm working as a therapist in the field, is to constantly make sure that I'm moving. Stress hormones can get stuck in our body and whatever you call it, secondary trauma from listening to so many, challenging stories, the things that people are going through on a regular basis that I ascribe my capacity, one of my main capacities to continue to do this work and have done it for so many years is that I regularly exercise physically. I just get up in the morning, and I hit it super hard. I work out for about 2 hours.

It's a time I can listen to books on tape, time I can listen to scriptures. It's time I can listen to music, and I I go back and forth between all of those things. Every morning as I get up and I love weight training. It's called resistance training where you're pushing yourself doing something hard. I personally do a combination of many things.

I do, I ride the bike. I do the elliptical, pull ups, sit ups, ab work, like I say, resistance training, working with weights. Like in this video, I'm just doing bench presses, but there's like 11 specific different weight lifts that I do. And it's just and I've found that the older you get, it's your body just kind of hurts anyway all the time. But as I have I'm talking was talking to a client earlier this morning, and she's talking about she wants to get out and start exercising, that that it helps her.

I just go, at least it's a good hurt. Right? I rarely hear someone who says that they push themselves physically, that they they're they're not having a positive result from that. So this is what I call it daily. It's just a small and simple thing I do consistently every single day.

Get up, work out. In this this video, I I'm I'm working out in my lanai. It's it's a gym that I have off the side of my house. And, anyway, I I to me, I'm a absolute proponent of physical exercise. I think it's one of the best things we can do for ourselves.

So whatever you can start doing to engage yourself in movement, Whatever works for you. There's so many different options out there, and if, you need specific help with things, maybe if you write some comments, maybe you can get a personal trainer on on one of the podcasts. I'm familiar with a few of them that can walk you through certain exercises. I myself have just figured out what works for me through the years. I I I'm a lone wolf when I go to the gym.

I don't really like to talk to people too much. I just like to put my headphones in and go to work, and like I say, listen to books on tape, music, scriptures, podcasts. It's it's, for me, the most sacred time of my day, the first first 2, 3, 4 hours. So, again, just an advocate for physical exercise. It's paid dividends in in my life, and knock on wood, I probably shouldn't even say this, but I I haven't I haven't been sick for, oh, man, I can't even remember.

I can't even remember the last time I've been to the doctor, and I say that in humility. I realize that tomorrow something could change, but my doctor is the gym. And and my as long as I'm pushing myself and I'm I'm doing something super hard every day, but not crossing the line where you're being ridiculous with things and just finding that that middle ground, where you're pushing yourself but not going too hard, that's the quest. And it it helps with your mental health in in all areas. So encourage you to take a look at at at where you're at and what it is that you can do to start implementing some physical exercise in your life in order to become mentally, more stable.

In today's podcast, I just I just came across some notes that I jotted down. I have notebooks all over the place where sometimes I write thoughts and feelings, and I'm reflecting on some of the experiences I've been through as a mental health therapist. In one of my stops along the way in my professional career, I worked at a psychiatric hospital. Let me pull back the curtain a little bit on what it's like to work in such an environment. And and let me say also that I'm so grateful for those individuals who are willing to strive to be there to help others that are dealing with such unbearable life circumstances.

But here here's the notes, and this is the reality of what what went on where where I worked, and I think it's pretty pretty accurate to say it's it's in in at least the agencies that I'm aware of, the inpatient psychiatric hospitals. K. I started, anyway, I don't need the name where I worked and then, but I put down the date that I started working there. And then these are my notes. I just jot it down.

1st day on the floor, the Monday after orientation week, or at one of our adolescent therapists, we had an adolescent unit and an adult unit. Adolescent therapist walks off job. She just left. She just left, never came back. Next couple of weeks, certain, Jonah, another guy by the name of Don, they were fired.

A number of nurses continued to leave. Our top therapist put in her notice that she was leaving. Cheryl, who had the service excellent award, put in her notice. She couldn't deal with it anymore. Our risk management individual who kinda ran the whole hospital for risk management put in his notice.

It's like all of that happened in the very, first date on on the unit. Anyway and the clinical staff, what we would deal with in in the previous year, there was a 100% turnover. The intensity of dealing with, the mental health issues, the crisis situations, I mean, it it really takes strong individuals to be able to deal with that on a regular basis. It's not easy. So be grateful.

Any of you who have a mental health therapist that is working with you, realize that these are human beings. Us as mental health therapists, it's like we're looked at and people are coming to us as if we have the answers to all the problems in life. We are fellow travelers. We are giving what we can to strive and help. Oftentimes, we're judged if someone comes to us and and someone's not healed or put together the way that others expect them to.

And it's it's part of the reality of of serving in this capacity. But I am so grateful for mental health professionals. So grateful that they put themselves on the line. Emergency room doctors, nurses, and the staff that I worked with at at the psychiatric hospital. It was a crisis hospital, like, so ambulance would it it they would drive up or police would bring someone handcuffed, and we had no security.

We were the security. So we would be the ones all of us were trained in in being able to resolve, very, very difficult situations. And sometimes it it required physical takedowns if, you know, it was violence was gonna happen. And and I remember suggesting to the CEO, man, we gotta have police here. This is and and they refused to do it.

So, anyway, it was it's so be be grateful. If you're working with a mental health professional, be grateful. Be a little considerate of their life, their time, what they're dealing with, and realize that they they don't have all the answers. Nobody does. I've met some of the the the world's foremost authorities on trauma and recovery, spent some time with them.

1 in particular, you know, a few days. And, I've written books, New York Times bestselling books. And as I got to know them and be with them, you know what? The they're they're navigating through their life just like the rest of us are. No one has a corner on the market on the answers for everything.

They're just living. But one thing that I really am coming more and more to conclude, as I'm I'm growing a little bit older, I'm gonna be 65 this this year, It's just being fully engaged in your life. Being countable, being responsible, confronting the problems and issues that are right in front of you, not complaining so much. I go back to, you know, what I call a mindful warrior, becoming a mindful warrior. What is the mindset of individuals that really tend to make an impact on the world and are successful?

And it comes back to some basic principles. They have a can do attitude. I will figure it out. I will figure it out. In the end, I will prevail.

Even though I'm not sure how to get through what's confronting me right now, in the end, I will prevail, and I will continue to be fully engaged in the process to the best of my ability. Inner circle, what I can control. Outer circle, things I cannot control. I'm not gonna spend time and energy on that outer circle. I'm focusing on what I can directly control.

Can do attitude, healthy sense of humor. You have just got to find the ability to laugh and lighten up a little bit. Life is difficult. It's meant to be that way. Problems are not going to go away.

There's a really interesting statement by CS Lewis when I say that, and I just happen to have it here. So I'm grateful that I have this here. This is by CS Lewis, and he says, I'm not sure that God particularly wants us to be happy. I think he wants us to be able to love and be loved. He wants us to grow up.

We think our childish toys bring us all the happiness there is and our nursery is the whole wide world, but something must drive us out of the nursery to the world of others and that something is suffering. That interesting? I don't know any individual I've ever come across that doesn't have some some challenges, some suffering, some past trauma that they're dealing with. But and it it seems to be that's the course of life. There seems to be great purpose in fighting against opposition, coming up against difficult things as we continue to move.

And although we may pray over and over again for our challenges to be taken from us, the thorn in the flesh to be taken from us. I'm thinking of the apostle Paul, the great apostle Paul in the New Testament in the Bible. He had a thorn in the flesh that he importuned God to remove from him And at least 3 different occasions, and the answer was always no. No. No, Paul.

I'm not gonna remove this thorn in your flesh because if I did, you would become exalted beyond measure. You just get too full of yourself. You need to have this so that you depend on me. And you keep struggling and you keep working towards things. Anyway, so back to the mindset.

Can do attitude. Healthy sense of humor. Learning to roll with things and just cut up and bust up and laugh when nothing else will do. The third attribute of those who seem to be extremely capable and successful and powerful are a zero victim mentality. They refuse to be victims.

They do not believe the world owes them a living. For for some reason, I've come across so many people who feel that they're victimized. They feel like they shouldn't have to go through what they're going through. That bad things shouldn't happen for whatever reason. And so they they become victims, and they become beaten up by these things, and they kind of lose hope, and they give up because the world is such an unsafe place.

I just don't think that's a healthy place to be. It's a fact. The world is not a safe place. But, inner circle, what can I control to be as safe as I possibly can? Outer circle, I cannot control all the crazy people in the world, all the negative things that are happening.

But I can do what I can do to protect myself and my family, and I will be engaged in doing that. So can do attitude, healthy sense of humor, 0 victim victim mentality, The world doesn't owe me a living. I need to earn everything that I can for myself and all. Yeah. And I need to do what I can to engage in other people and ask for help when necessary, but I choose to do that.

And then the 4th attribute is when bad things happen, they just don't let the bad things take center control of their attention. They you know, I'm thinking of a of an interview I recently heard with William McRaven, Admiral McRaven, who was over all the Navy SEALs in Afghanistan. And listening to him talk about he he mentioned some of the horrific things they have to deal with, but he just mentioned them kind of in passing. It's not like they took center stage. Of course, he does not like the horrible things that are happening.

But if if they're not out there protecting freedom, then freedom would not be available to us. And I'm also reminded of and I love the mindset of a warrior. I'm thinking of Jim Mattis, who was the secretary of defense and wrote a book, call sign chaos. And he he said this, I have seen no case where weakness promotes a chance for peace. So think about that.

I've seen no case where weakness promotes a chance for peace. And so our our daily engagement and activity and hope would be to make ourselves strong, as strong as we possibly can. Keep working on things. Keep trying. Have that mindset of overcoming the challenges that we face.

Bad things happen to all of us. Horrific things happen to all of us from time to time. And we cannot compare crosses. It it's just how we interpret things, but we are responsible for our own lives. And if there's if there take a look inside yourself.

I constantly take a look inside myself. Is there any victim mentality within me? Of course, there has been. Tons of it. And, you know, certain betrayals that I've dealt with in my life and it's left left horrendous scars.

It's hard to trust sometimes at because of some things we've been through. But the only way through is through. And you keep you keep working on overcoming, keep working on being more fully engaged, but it seems like the most helpful thing to do is just get fully engaged. Jump in. Go to work.

Whatever it is you're dealing with, do what you can, and and just, you know, just just be grateful that there are, people out there that are willing to strive and help. Back to as I'm wrapping this podcast up, just back to, you know, how I started it when I started work at the psychiatric hospital, how difficult and challenging things are. They just are sometimes. Nobody likes to deal with confrontation. That reminds me.

I'm squirreling a little bit here, but maybe I'll touch on this more fully in, a podcast later. But I had really interesting experience in high school. I was fortunate enough to be on a basketball team. We were one of the best teams in Northern California in history. Our our senior year, we won 26 games and lost 2.

And and then the following year, I stayed at a a local junior college, and I played basketball there. And it was completely the opposite. It's a brand new school. We didn't have any centers, you know, and so, man, we're playing in junior college level, and these some of these guys are 6668, and our tallest guy was, like, 63, and which was me. And and, anyway, anyway, had a horrible year.

We won 3 games and lost 28. And at the end of the year, I remember when tryouts came for to for the team and there were walk ons. There's, like, 50 guys trying out to play on our team. And as the year went on and we kept losing and losing and losing, interesting thing happened. People would just drop off.

They would stop coming. They would quit. They would give up. And at the end of the year, we had 7 players at our last game in in a junior college game. Seven players.

It just got tough. It was horrific to lose. It just felt, oh, felt so sick. But we did the very best we could with what we have and I'm grateful for the 7 guys who stuck together. So it's like we all got to just ask ourselves the question at the end of the day, man, what are we going to do?

What are we what are we going to be committed to? What are we going to engage in? I'm not saying that you need to stick with something. If it's not working, sometimes we need to course correct. But I'm saying in the one little basketball team analogy, it's like, yeah, that totally stunk, but still stay with it till the end of the season then move on with your life.

The world's not gonna come to an end, but it's like they couldn't tolerate losing. And sometimes you just learn a powerful lesson in losing. It's extremely painful, but often what I found is character is truly developed in the low times, in the times when you're beaten down, and the times when you really don't have much of a chance to beat the team you're playing because you're out mad and you know it. And what do you do? Well, you just show up and you do the best you can with what you have.