Mental Health Decoded with Mordechai

Question 1: How can I tell the difference between simply feeling down and experiencing depression?

Question 1B: I worry that I may struggle in therapy because I tend to be emotionally closed off and may have difficulty opening up.

Question 2: How do you know when it may be time to end a friendship?

Question 3: I would like a deeper understanding of how a marriage can be impacted when a sibling separates just a few weeks before their wedding.

Question 4: I wanted to share an awareness regarding therapy. If someone has been doing trauma work for five or six years and still feels emotionally raw, and the therapist’s approach has been more conceptual than emotional, would it be advisable to seek a therapist that is more emotional and will support the person better? 

Question 1: Someone in my family is viewed as wonderful by the public, but in their personal life they deeply hurt the people closest to them. How can I cope with the anger and resentment I feel toward this person?

Question 2: Trichotillomania improved for several months during therapy but later returned. Why might that happen?

Question 3: I have a three-year-old who is afraid to use the bathroom. I notice that when I am anxious, he becomes more anxious, and when I am calm, he seems calmer. Can a parent’s emotions impact a child’s ability to use the bathroom comfortably?

Comment 4A: I related to the mother whose three-year-old was struggling with using the bathroom. My daughter went through the same thing, and it was very stressful and frustrating. Eventually, I learned to let go of the pressure, used a laxative when needed, and one day things finally improved naturally.

Question 4B: I also wanted to ask another question. We have a yesom staying in our home for about a year. Initially, he struggled significantly with functioning, but over time he became much calmer. Recently, however, I discovered that he has been stealing money from my purse, and I also received a call from a grocery store saying he stole from there as well. My husband was advised to respond very strictly. Do you agree with that approach? 

Question 1: For most of my life, I struggled with low-grade anxiety. After experiencing several difficult life events, I began therapy and was eventually encouraged to consider medication. Thanks in part to your program, I decided to try it, and it has helped significantly. A psychiatrist also helped normalize the experience for me and reassured me that I was not “crazy.” I am on a low dose and functioning much better, even with trauma reactions. However, part of me misses feeling emotions as intensely as I once did, including during davening, and I sometimes question the tradeoff of being on medication.

Question 2: How do I balance my role as someone’s physical aide without enabling dependence or avoiding tasks that I believe they are capable of doing on their own?

Question 3: I wanted to know whether you are familiar with cranial sacral therapy and your thoughts on it.

Question 4: What should a client do if they were told during intake that sessions would last an hour, but the actual sessions are only around 20 minutes?

Question 4B: I previously went to a coach but did not feel a strong connection. How is therapy different from coaching, and can a therapist help me in ways a coach may not? 

Question 1: My son is in play therapy, with one session for him and one for me each week. What is the parent’s role in these sessions? Are they only about the child, or can they also address my emotions as a parent?

Question 2: You encouraged parents to spend quality time with their children, which can be very powerful. What should a parent do when one sibling teases another by saying hurtful things, such as calling him “slow” because he wears glasses?

Question 3: In play therapy, the child usually attends alone. However, my son wants me to join every session. What should a parent’s role be during the session?

Question and Comment 4: I teach four-year-old boys. If a child lost a parent a year or two ago, the mother wants us to be very lenient with him. But its not good for him socially and academically. I decided to discipline him, by the end of the year the child became a mentch and part of the class but his mother is upset at me. How should I look at it?

Question 5: Why do some people turn to food when they are stressed or anxious?

Comment 6: Parents of gifted children with additional challenges sometimes expect teachers to provide significantly more one-on-one attention. However, this can take time away from the other students. If a child truly needs that level of support, additional professional help may be necessary. 

Question 1: A close friend leaned on me emotionally more than I felt comfortable with, and eventually pulled away. Should I reach out to show I care, and how do I manage my feelings of resentment?

Question 2: What does play therapy for a child typically look like, and how does it help uncover underlying emotional issues?

Question 3: My 14-year-old daughter feels she is always the one reaching out to a longtime friend, and the friendship now feels one-sided. Should she distance herself and invest more in other friendships?

Comment 4: Children may not always understand why they struggle socially. Constantly discussing it may increase self-doubt, while guidance from a trusted adult can help them better understand themselves and improve social connections. 

Question 1: A 12-year-old girl is being raised only by her father. She comes to my house from time to time, and I try to give her attention and support. Because of her upbringing, she seems to crave a lot of attention, often in immature ways. Should I still give her attention through those immature behaviors?

Comment 2A: I wanted to thank you for the chizuk you gave to stay-at-home mothers on Kol Bramah Radio on 4/27/26, Program 1310.

Comment 2B: I needed to place some of my children in foster care. We still maintain a connection with them, and I’ve learned that it does not have to be all-or-nothing. I see them growing and doing much better.

Question 3: My father-in-law lives outside of Brooklyn, and when we visit, we stay in a gabbai’s apartment. I daven in the gabbai’s shul, which has a very small minyan, and I often feel pressured to daven for the amud. It is very difficult for me, but I feel guilty saying no. How can I deal with that guilt?

Question 4: Why would someone be afraid to daven for the amud?

Question 5: I have a teenage son who wants to know how to overcome the fear of davening for the amud.

Question 6: I especially appreciated the question in the previous program about a mother needing to return to work. As a working mother of two, I found the validation very meaningful. My question is: How can you encourage a sibling to be more communicative when they tend not to share where they are going or what they are doing?

Question 1: I have a lot of mixed feelings about unconventional therapy. I recently heard about kinesiology, and I was wondering if you could help me better understand how it works.

Question 2: My wife had a baby two months ago and recently returned to work. She is finding the transition overwhelming and feels she is missing out on bonding with the baby. She also does not feel comfortable in her work environment.

Question 3: I find myself tremendously triggered by children, from around age 3 through 16. I am especially anxious thinking that my one-year-old will eventually grow into those ages. My mother struggled with this as well, and I wonder if that may be impacting me. 

Question 1- What is the role as a parent to their daughter when they see that their son is struggling with alcoholism and behaving in a very narcissistic way?

Question 2- I have a 10-year-old child who is afraid to go to many places. She is comfortable going to the grocery store down the block or to a neighbor’s house on the block, but she refuses to go to other places. What can we do to help her?

Question 3- What should someone do if they feel uncomfortable being vulnerable with their therapist?

Question 4- I’ve heard a lot about attachment theory. What is attachment theory, and how can it be understood in simple English? 

Question 1- I have a relative who has dementia along with several physical ailments. He needs to be tied to his wheelchair for safety, and he often feels depressed and frustrated. What advice is there for helping calm him and making him feel more valuable?

Question 2- I would like to raise a question about awareness and faith. As a bochur I struggled with many mental health challenges, and therapy helped me a lot. Later, after I got married, a major trauma happened and many of those struggles returned. One of the deepest pains for me was feeling like, “How could Hashem do this to me?” At times I even felt that Hashem hated me. I never learned how to shift my view of Hashem so that He doesn’t feel so frightening. How can someone begin to change that perspective?

Question 3- I am a long-time listener. In our neighborhood, someone rented out their house to people who are OTD. This is a block with many frum families, and some of their public behaviors are making the neighbors uncomfortable. What can the community do in a respectful way to address this situation?

Question 4- If and how does the role of a mother change when a child becomes a teenager?

Feedback 5- I am the great-grandmother calling with feedback about the program from 4/13/26, Program 1 (1306), Question 2. My feeling is that when someone keeps returning to the same painful topic, the most important thing is simply to support her and be there for her. 

Question 1- I’ve been to therapy in the past for a few years and didn’t see much improvement. I felt like I did the work on an intellectual level, but it stayed in my mind and didn’t really affect my emotions or my heart. Should I consider starting therapy again?

Question 2- What is the role of a dating coach? My relative is seeing a dating coach, and she said the coach advised her not to pursue a certain boy. Why would a coach make that kind of recommendation?

Question 3- Does medication heal trauma?

Question 4- I have a daughter who is about 16 years old. I am seeing a therapist from Serenity, and I would like some clarity about an episode we had this evening. Is it healthy to raise a child without giving them chores?

Question 5- I have a six-year-old son who has never been formally evaluated, but we suspect he may have ADHD. He is very cute and full of life. This year he has a rebbe who is helping him learn a lot and is providing strong structure. However, the rebbe is concerned that the frequent punishments—such as sending him out of class—may be harming him. At home, though, he is happy going to Yeshiva. Should we consider medication?