Mental Health Decoded with Mordechai

Question 1- Before Yom Tov I had to call Hatzalah. Now every time my children see me on the phone, they ask if I am calling Hatzalah. What can I do now to reassure my children?

Question 2- I have been involved with someone since she was 13 years old. She was bullied growing up. Today she is married, on medication, and continues to go to therapy, yet she still often talks about that bullying story. She has gone through many difficult situations. Why does she continue returning only to that story instead of focusing on greater experiences?

Question 3- My friend was recently fired from his job. He has been a salesperson for over seven years. Since losing the job, he has become depressed. Why would someone become so depressed about losing a job instead of picking themselves up and moving on to try another one?

Question 4- How do you deal with a mother-in-law who asks very personal questions and seems unable to let go of her child? What is the best way to handle that situation? 

Question 1- When I go into the therapy room, I often forget what I wanted to discuss. I freeze up because I feel like I have too much to say and not enough time to say it.

Question 2- I’m commenting about the previous program regarding the sister-in-law whose in-laws are complicated. I’m in a similar situation where my mother-in-law calls me and cries about one of her couples, saying that she doesn’t like her daughter-in-law. She often calls me and becomes very emotional about it.

Question 3- I’ve recently developed a fear of flying. What would you suggest for a phobia that doesn’t feel so simple? When there is turbulence, I become afraid that my life might end.

Question 4- I’m calling to say thank you. I’ve gained so much from the program.

Question 5- I have a question about the dissertation process. How do you find participants for your research?

Question 6- How do I know whether I am cleaning for Pesach from a healthy place or from a place that may not be healthy for me? 

Question 1 – Thank you for this program. I am now a year out of therapy and this has become a support for me. My 9-year-old son is the biggest boy in his class and says other boys are making fun of him. How should I support him without making the situation worse?

Question 2 – How can you help a teenager change a decision when you believe they are making a poor choice? Can a parent force the change, or is there a better way to guide them?

Question 3 – I struggle with making decisions. After I decide, I get stuck doubting myself and regretting the choice. How can I stop this cycle?

Question 4 – I’ve been told in therapy to set boundaries with a parent, but when I try it creates even more stress for me. How should someone handle boundaries when the process feels overwhelming?

Question 5 – I have a complicated relationship with an in-law. After going to therapy I created healthy boundaries and my marriage improved. Now, younger siblings getting married are noticing the dysfunction in their parents’ home. They turn to me and I feel angry and triggered. Do I need to step in and explain things to them, or should I stay out of it? 

Awareness 1: I feel very nervous asking a question on the radio because I stutter; I can speak easily with family, but with strangers it’s an ongoing struggle— I want to create an awareness to not let your disability hold you back. 

Question 2: Feedback to a caller about IFS journaling: she shared that she started at a very low place about two years ago and has seen growth; Q: I see progress in the children I teach because of my effort and less about their motivation, so why does my therapist say that I deserve the credit for my own growth in therapy?

Question 3: Over the past four years I’ve had four different therapists and haven’t felt a strong connection or that they bring out the best in me; I now have a life coach I really like—should I continue trying with a therapist or stick with the life coach?

Question 4: I was told that an ASD diagnosis is not from the DSM—is that accurate?

Question 5: I stopped seeing my therapist about 4.5 years ago, but I still feel like I haven’t fully moved on and often think about how much I miss her—is this normal, and how can I move forward? 

Question 1: How do you deal with being bullied, or if a child is being bullied?

Question 2: I am trying to understand the process of transference therapy; it is very difficult, and I am having a hard time with it.

Positive Feedback 3: This program has changed my life—I now understand people better, even those I previously struggled to get along with.

Question 4: I am a retired bubby, and due to health issues I cannot make Pesach in my own home. I will be going to my children, but I am taking it very hard and feel like an extra. How can I still feel happy?

Question 4B: When my children and grandchildren follow minhagim that are different from mine, I am sometimes able to stay quiet, but at other times I speak up and it ends up bothering both them and me—how should I handle this?

Question 5: How can I support a frum relative of the opposite gender who is going through a difficult time?

Question 6: I asked a rov a question and feel uneasy with the answer—how can I process that? 

Question 1 – In IFS, does the process always require tuning into bodily sensations?

Question 2 – How would you explain vulnerability, and how can a person learn to express it?

Question 3 – Last year before Pesach, MW mentioned the three F’s—fight, flight, and freeze. How might those responses show up during the stress of Pesach cleaning?

Question 4 – Many people say it is healthy to be vulnerable and share openly. Why is that encouraged instead of keeping things private?

Comment 5 – I believe it is very important to share with others and not keep everything inside. I also want to share that I was in an IOP, and in my experience it seemed designed more for people who are relatively healthy. 

Question 1 – I went through a situation 26 years ago, and now many of those feelings are resurfacing. I feel an urge to speak to that person again. I recently married off my youngest child three weeks ago and became a widow at a young age. Why might these old feelings be coming up now?

Question 2 – When I am in relationships with people who are complicated or struggling, I often resent them and think, “Why can’t they just be healthy and present?” But when I shift my focus to myself—my needs and what I can control—it suddenly feels easier. Why does that work?

Question 3 – With IFS, I sometimes have a hard time tuning in to my parts. Can a live demonstration help someone learn how to access their parts more easily?

Question 4 – In IFS, when I acknowledged a part, it actually made the feelings stronger and the situation feel scarier. Can this happen in therapy?

Question 5 – Someone told me that every therapy modality is perfect, and if it doesn’t work, the problem must be with the patient. Is that accurate, or can it be that a modality simply does not work well for a particular client?

Question 6 – I have a strong fear of getting haircuts. (special needs person asking). 

Question 1 – What type of therapy is most effective for someone struggling with misophonia?

Question 2 – I see a therapist who has not been consistent with keeping the scheduled session times. She does not offer a make-up time when the cancellation is inconvenient for her. I feel hurt and unimportant. How should I approach this situation with her?

Question 3 – I went through a major crisis and relied heavily on a close friend for support. She later told me she wants to remain my friend but cannot be my therapist. After I continued reaching out and shared that I ended up in the emergency room, she felt I was putting guilt on her and became upset. How can I repair the relationship and rebuild the friendship? 

Question 1 – I have been reading the IFS journaling over the past few weeks (Date 2/16/25 program 2 (1297) question 3). The first time I called in, it was very difficult. That same part came up again, and it required a lot of work. I feel like I need quiet and at least two to three hours in order to really do the work properly. Is that normal?

Question 2 – I have a question about attachment theory. I have a baby, and sometimes I do not always have the patience I would like to have with him, or I may leave him with a babysitter. Could that create attachment problems?

Question 3 – I would like to share that after 15 years of dating, I finally got engaged. There were many ups and downs along the way, but sometimes those challenges are part of what shapes remarkable people.

Question 4 – I am a mother of several children. I had an acquaintance who used to babysit for us for money. She often asks for money and makes many requests. How can I set a boundary without hurting her feelings? I am also concerned that if I need her help again in the future, she may say no.

Question 5 – I come from a large family with many sisters, and I am naturally closer with some than with others. I tend to be a pacifist and a people-pleaser, especially with family members. How can I maintain emotional connection while also protecting my energy? Some family members resent that I am not equally close with everyone. 

Question 1 – If someone is afraid of an authority figure, could that fear stem from a painful attachment relationship earlier in life?

Question 2 – How can a person heal attachment wounds? Some people around me say that I may be afraid to go out on my own in business because of attachment-related fears.

Question 3 – I have a son who is 13–14 years old and is more sensitive. I have always tried not to “rock the boat” and to speak to him gently. How do I know when it is appropriate to be more assertive with him?

Question 4 – Regarding the IFS journaling from last week’s program (2/9/25, Program #1295): now more parts are showing up in the journaling, including a macho part, a pushy part, and a worry part that are all speaking and sharing. Is this a normal part of the process?

Question 5 – What is my role in this situation? I am close with someone who shares her shalom bayis struggles with me, but I am concerned about her adult daughter who has engaged in self-harm. When I raise the concern, she denies or minimizes it and says it was only for attention. How should I respond?

Question 5B- Another issue is that the husband is not bringing in enough income and has approached my husband to borrow money. Is it advisable for us to lend him money?

Feedback 6 – I listened again to the IFS journaling segment from the previous program, and it felt very helpful. I find it difficult to practice journaling on my own, and hearing it explained like this is teaching me how to do it.