Mental Health Decoded with Mordechai

Comment 1: Someone called in last week and shared that they couldn’t stop thinking about their therapist. I experienced something similar in the past but felt too ashamed to tell anyone. Hearing her share helped the shame completely fall away for me.

Question 2: I was bullied for ten years in school and I am on the autism spectrum. I am currently looking for friends who have also been through struggles. I often connect with people, but then they suddenly pull away. I feel like some may have BPD, and I find it very hard to maintain relationships that feel so unpredictable. How should I understand and cope with this?

Question 3: Why would someone have such a hard time getting up in the morning, even when there is nothing specific wrong?

Question 4: What are the five love languages, and how do they help improve relationships?

Comment 5A: I want to comment on the previous caller with ASD. She was incredibly brave, clear, and articulate. I have a son with ASD as well, and people often don’t understand him.

Comment 5B: I also want to say that IOP is extremely worthwhile. You are not judged for being there. Many people in IOP are actually healing from the people or situations that caused the pain.

Question 5C: How do you deal with a teenager who can become aggressive? How do I cope as a parent, and how can I best help her?

Question 1:  Does a person need therapy in order to truly help themselves?

Question 2:  I’m confident and speak up, but after being told I’m intimidating, I pulled back and stopped expressing myself. Since then, I feel lifeless—why?

Question 3:  If someone doesn’t want help, is it really impossible to help them—or is there still hope?Question 4:  I’m embarrassed that, despite being successful, I feel a very strong attachment to my therapist and I can’t talk about it with my therapist. Why does this feel so shameful?

Question 1:  Why do some people experience life primarily through their emotional mind rather than their logical mind? What might explain the shift I’ve experienced—from being more emotionally driven in the past to now functioning more from a logical, grounded place?

Question 2:  I’m calling for chizuk. In both yeshiva and at home, we’ve seen meaningful positive changes in my son, who needs emotional support. A relative who hadn’t seen my special-needs son in a long time commented that he seemed to have “more life” in the past and less now. That comment really knocked me down—how should I understand and cope with this?

Question 3: Can people who are experiencing depression recognize that they are depressed, or does the condition itself sometimes prevent awareness?

Question 1: My 16-year-old brother is out of yeshiva and currently spending time in a group with other boys. He does not see me as someone who understands him and views me as “too holy.” He is not opening up to me. How can I connect with him?

Comment 2: I would like to comment on the previous caller regarding a 16-year-old who is no longer in school.

Question 3: How can a person truly live in the moment? Doesn’t living in the moment mean not preparing—and if you don’t prepare, won’t you fail?

Question 4: I belong to an organization where children gather once a month. What should our role be? Is it to help them talk about their feelings, or is it meant to simply be a safe space for them to relax and spend time together?

Question 4B: How do you manage children who are more challenging and want constant attention or try to dominate the group by speaking the entire time?Question 5: My therapist recently experienced a personal loss. What is my role when I see her? Is it appropriate to bring it up, and can I still share my heavier issues, or should I hold back? 

Question 1: There is a mother who needs to take medication and had refused to do so for a long time. She is now taking medication, but the children feel it is not helping and believe it may need to be changed. Should the children push or pressure their mother to change the medication if she becomes defensive and unwilling to discuss it?

Question 2: Children do not realize when they are crossing boundaries, and the home feels filled with chaos and lack of structure. How can parents restore clear structure, authority, and stability in the system?

Question 3: ADHD — How can a child appear to have ADHD symptoms at home but not at school?

Question 4: Emunah and bitachon — Can they reduce or eliminate anxiety? Does CBT work for everyone, especially for individuals who are very logical? 

Question 1-  If someone experienced trauma in childhood, can ketamine treatment be helpful?

Question 2-  My elderly parents were not the best parents when we were growing up, and now my siblings and I are struggling to care for them. It’s emotionally heavy. I’ve spoken with my rov and I know what my responsibilities are and what they are not. How can I cope with the emotional weight of dealing with them?

Question 3- I’m 19, and my mother is very controlling about how I dress and how much makeup I wear. I’m afraid to stand up to her because I don’t know how she’ll react. Should I confront this once and for all, or should I avoid it?

Question 4- Why do some parents struggle to compliment their children and express emotional love? 

Feedback 1A: About a year ago, I reached out regarding my fear of starting EMDR, and you encouraged me to allow myself to let go. It have a major impact on me. 

Question 1B: Can you help me understand why, after I processed my feelings of anger , now I find myself feeling pain. How does this work? 

Question 1C: I feel drawn to explore certain painful parts of my trauma history and the emotions that come with it. At the same time, I hesitate because I’m afraid revisiting it may trigger anger toward family members. How should I approach this?

Question 2- why are children and teens from dysfunctional homes fight to go back to the dysfunctional home/environment?

Question 3A- My son’s therapist recommended doing a few sessions with me, explaining that this work would help my son. How does working with a parent create change in the child?
Question 3B- Additionally, why would my son hit me but not hit my husband?

Question 4- I recently read an interview about Spravado, and it sounded like a medication that can address almost everything. If it’s so effective, why isn’t everyone using it? 

Question 1: A weekly caller, Aryeh, reached out about a year ago regarding a dog that barked every time it saw him. He shared how much it bothered him that the dog consistently barked at him. 

Question 2: Can a person rely on their gut instinct when making major life decisions—such as deciding whether to change a child’s school? If intuition can be trusted, why do people still seek guidance from others instead of relying solely on their instinct?

Question 3: In my recent therapy sessions, I’ve been experiencing moments where my brain freezes. My mind becomes numb, almost physically locked. Interestingly, I’m fully functional and productive at work and at home. This internal part of me insists that I’m “making it all up” and blocks me from doing therapeutic work by telling me that my experiences aren’t real. What is happening, and how can I work with this part?Question 4: My son, who is in 6th, 7th, and 8th grade, is a perfectionist. He becomes very stuck if he does not immediately understand the Gemara, and he can't let go when something doesn’t come out perfectly. His principal suggested we address this now because it can develop into anxiety. I don’t understand the connection—how does perfectionism lead to anxiety? 

Question 1: A 15-year-old boy recently climbed a scaffolding, putting himself in a dangerous situation. What awareness should we have about why teenagers engage in risky behavior, and what can adults do when they witness or hear about a teen doing something unsafe?

Question 2:  My daughter is in third grade and tends to work at a slower pace. She is usually the last to take out her sefer, and her teacher says she often does not complete her classwork and appears spaced out during lessons. The teacher suggested trying Ritalin. What are your thoughts on this, and how should a parent approach this kind of recommendation?

Question 3: I know someone in his late forties who creates chaos in almost every environment unless everything goes exactly his way. What is my responsibility when observing this pattern? Am I allowed to tell his spouse that her husband may have traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder? 

Question 1:  What is the appropriate role of a wife in setting limits at home, and when is it healthy for her to hold her ground rather than “give in”? My husband sometimes uses ice-water as a consequence for the children. Is this considered acceptable, or is it inappropriate?

Question 2:  How should parents handle explaining a sibling’s ASD to the other children in the home? For example, when one child does things on Shabbos that are not allowed for others, or when his behavior is developmentally different, what is the best way to help the other children understand?

Update 3: I previously called about my husband’s drinking. I wanted to share an update: we spoke openly, he sought help, and he is now sober. Our home and our relationship have improved tremendously because of it.

Question 4: Is there a psychological explanation for why a person repeatedly puts themselves into unhealthy or harmful situations?