Mental Health Training

Six Strategies to Challenge Your Inner Critic’s Voice

It’s time you cultivated an attitude.

Look, life can be hard sometimes. The last thing you need is your Inner Critic taking the wheel, getting on your case about every last little thing you’re trying to do. Why are you listening to someone who doesn’t have your best interest at heart? No, it’s time to challenge your Inner Critic and silence their voice once and for all.

How?

Try these tried and true strategies:

Start Noticing

Inner Critics like to whisper, never to speak out loud. The last thing they want is to be noticed for their nefarious schemes. By paying attention to what’s going on in your head, you draw their lies out into the light, where they cannot stand.

Give it a Nickname

Whenever the Inner Critic speaks up, give it a silly name. Think to yourself things like “Hey, it’s Moldyvort, back again to cause trouble.” By making fun of this voice, it’s a lot harder to take seriously.

What about a Voice?

Do you hear some pretty negative things? Try saying them out loud. By giving voice to these thoughts, you’ll hear just how ridiculous they sound.

Take a Negativity Break

Tell your Inner Critic, they can only come out to play at a particular time each day. During that time, take a break and tell the Inner Critic to do their worst. Be sure to set a timer for the space allotted, so you don’t give more time to the negativity than necessary.

Sit back and let it speak its piece. The funny thing? Most of the time, you won’t even remember what it was the Critic had to say by the time your negativity break rolls around. Even if you do, when the timer goes off, remind yourself you’re done and walk away.

Question Everything

Is there any truth to what your Inner Critic is saying? Examine the statements. Feel free to argue back. Point out the flaws in the reasoning and back it up with examples of times when you’ve proven those things aren’t true.

Replace the Words

Finally, drop the negative words entirely and rewrite the script to turn each negative into a positive. For example, saying, “I’m terrible at writing reports” can become “I did a great job on the last report I wrote. I bet this one will be fine too.”

Remember, silencing an Inner Critic is going to take time and energy. This kind of voice doesn’t just shut up because you told them to go away once. No, you’re going to have to do the work, using these strategies, until you’re finally free of the nasty little voice.

Once you’ve got it, though? Your world will change enormously in some pretty great ways. After all, without your criticism to hold you back, you’re primed for success in a huge way.

5 Brain Hacks to Build Your Belief in Yourself

There just aren’t enough hours in the day to do everything you want. We find ourselves caught up in a slew of obligations involving everything from work to taking care of our families. At the end, who has time to better themselves?

Or are there enough hours after all?

If your self-belief is dragging, the last thing you need is to put yourself on the back burner.

Why? Because you need self-belief if you’re going to succeed in your life. Thankfully, there’s help.

Keep reading to discover five brain hacks guaranteed to build your belief in yourself, without taking up a lot of your extra time.

Affirmations

You’ve probably already seen a lot about positive affirmations, mostly because they actually work! By writing out several statements to encourage yourself, and then making an honest effort to read them daily (especially out loud) you’ll find after a while, you start believing them.

How to make them work with minimal effort?

Write them on sticky notes and place them around your house where you’ll find them as you go about your daily life. Make a point of reading them when you find them.

Work Your Subconscious

The beauty of our brains is we don’t always realize how much is being processed without our awareness. Put positive reminders around that trigger feeling of confidence and contentment. Won an award?

Hang it where you can see it. That letter of commendation? Why not frame it?

Journal

We process things better when we write them down. Keep a journal and write about the things you’ve accomplished each day. Add in what inspires you, and notes toward positive growth. Re-read previous passages to remind you of how far you’ve come.

Watch the Talk

If that internal voice is what’s getting you down, it’s time to tell your inner critic to shut up and find somewhere else to live. Put a stop to negative self-talk. Instead, substitute more positive variations on what’s being said. Replace lies with truths about how much you’ve already done, and how awesome you truly are.

Meditate

You don’t have to dedicate an hour for meditation to be effective. Taking even 10 or fifteen minutes to empty your mind and relax will help you focus inward. If you have a little more time, try a guided meditation, focusing on one of your affirmations for an extra positive jolt.

None of these items has to take long to be effective. The key is to repeat these steps daily until they become a habit. Before you know it, your confidence will rise. Self-belief is ready to open the door to a more productive, happy, and successful life.

Hybristophilia is one of the countless paraphilias with abnormal or extreme sexual desires. It is also known as Bonnie and Clyde syndrome. The term hybristophilia applies to those who get sexually aroused over someone else committing an offensive or violent act.

What’s behind it isn’t necessarily sexual in nature—classified as a form of paraphilia - is sexual activity outside the scope of what is currently conventional. This can include recurring sexually arousing mental imagery or behaviour that involves socially unacceptable or unusual sexual practices. 

It turns out that brutally violent male offenders often have many female love interests. No, they’re not women who were in any romantic relationships with them before they were incarcerated.

It can partly explain why so many convicted serial killers receive letters of adoration whilst in prison from a hybristophiliac or Passive Hybristophilia. They are more likely to be a woman.

Aggressive Hybristophilia 

This involves cases where the individuals attracted to the person who has committed the atrocities are sexually aroused by the acts themselves and want to join in with them.

Read more

What is Minimalism? 

We are bombarded with ads to buy new stuff in today's society. Our social media feeds include the latest weight loss wonder pill, new leather bag, or other items enticing you to cough up your money. Spending your money on possessions is fine when they serve a purpose. The over-accumulation of belongings leaves most people frustrated and overwhelmed with clutter.

What is this fad that hasn't seemed to fade away?

For many, they have reached the end and are ready to take a new approach through minimalism. It is a way of living intentionally with only the items you genuinely need. It is a tool that helps you find freedom from the rat race of life.

6 Hallmarks of Minimalism

There are no clear-cut rules to minimalism. Instead, you can make up what it looks like to you. Here are a few helpful markers for those seeking to live this lifestyle. They:

1.    Choose to own fewer possessions. Owning too much stuff causes distractions. You do not have to throw everything out. Instead, it is about only holding onto those items that bring you happiness and matter to you. The rest can be sold, donated, or thrown out.

2.    Choose experiences over things. Intentionally, spending time with family leads to a richer life than purchasing material items. Think about kids on Christmas morning. You pay excessive money on a popular toy for the kids to play with the box. They have it right; simple is good.

3.    Understand that minimalism is simple, but it is not easy.

It is a process of removing items from your life that no longer serve a purpose or are not needed. For some people, determining what is truly required will be challenging.

4.    Enjoy a slower pace of life.

By keeping only the essentials, minimalists don't have to work the long hours to pay all their bills. They do not have to keep up with the feverish pace that many do. Instead, they can disengage from the hysteria and take the slow lane.

5.    Comprehend that minimalism is a mindset shift.

Learn that becoming a minimalist is not only about material possessions. It is about their mind and how they can make different decisions that leave a lasting impact on their family and lives.

If you want freedom from your things and the rat race of life to live a life authentic to your values, then minimalism may be right for you.

Are Spontaneous Decisions Always Bad?

When faced with decisions, you want to have the best information possible. Some people spend too much time trying to find as much information as they can, and they miss opportunities because of it. Information is a key component in decision-making. However, sometimes, you simply have to decide and live with the decision without any information.

You don’t want others to view you as someone who makes rash decisions. You’ll lose credibility when you do this and people won’t take you seriously. However, you must prepare yourself for certain times where being decisive is necessary. For instance, you may be registering for classes at your college and discover that a few of the courses you were hoping to take are full. You are given other choices but are unsure of how that will fit into your overall plan. Do you enrol in those alternative classes?

You may decide to go for the classes. If they are part of your curriculum, you can always rework your plan so that they fit in. Talk to your academic advisor and ask how to proceed after taking this new path. Of course, you could always drop the classes if they don’t fit well.

The point is if a decision doesn't work out, the wrong results can usually be fixed. Don’t be afraid to take the plunge. The shoe company Nike has a slogan that has worked for them for several decades now. That slogan is, 'Just Do It!'

A structured living doesn't fit well with some people. They need the excitement that comes with making spontaneous decisions. Who is to say that their way is wrong? It may not work for others, but for them, it works quite well. You may know people who are like this and are envious of them.

That isn’t the same scenario as people who don’t do much with their lives. Spontaneous decision-makers are often doing many activities. You can decide to do nothing, but you won’t get very far. Unless you are lucky enough to come from money and your parents are willing to give you that money, you will need to find something to do.

Most people will find a balance of decisions they make based on the information and spontaneous decisions. The process of decision-making becomes easier the more you do it. Therefore, when you need to make spontaneous decisions, it will not be as difficult after a while.

Are Spontaneous Decisions Always Bad?

When faced with decisions, you want to have the best information possible. Some people spend too much time trying to find as much information as they can, and they miss opportunities because of it. Information is a key component in decision-making. However, sometimes, you simply have to decide and live with the decision without any information.

You don’t want others to view you as someone who makes rash decisions. You’ll lose credibility when you do this and people won’t take you seriously. However, you must prepare yourself for certain times when being decisive is necessary. For instance, you may be registering for classes at your college and discover that a few of the courses you were hoping to take are full. You are given other choices but are unsure of how that will fit into your overall plan. Do you enrol in those alternative classes?

You may decide to go for the classes. If they are part of your curriculum, you can always rework your plan so that they fit in. Talk to your academic advisor and ask how to proceed after taking this new path. Of course, you could always drop the classes if they don’t fit well.

The point is if a decision doesn't work out, the wrong results can usually be fixed. Don’t be afraid to take the plunge. The shoe company Nike has a slogan that has worked for them for several decades now. That slogan is, 'Just Do It!'

A structured living doesn't fit well with some people. They need the excitement that comes with making spontaneous decisions. Who is to say that their way is wrong? It may not work for others, but for them, it works quite well. You may know people who are like this and are envious of them.

That isn’t the same scenario as people who don’t do much with their lives. Spontaneous decision-makers are often doing many activities. You can decide to do nothing, but you won’t get very far. Unless you are lucky enough to come from money and your parents are willing to give you that money, you will need to find something to do.

Most people will find a balance of decisions they make based on the information and spontaneous decisions. The process of decision-making becomes easier the more you do it. Therefore, when you need to make spontaneous decisions, it will not be as difficult after a while.

5 Sure-fire Ways to Release Regret

Regret happens. What doesn’t have to happen is you holding on to it forever. Releasing regret is a process, one that is different for every person and every situation. However, you can give various forms of releasing regret a try and learn about yourself in the process.

1.    Practice Daily Gratitude

Practising daily gratitude is a great way to consistently remind yourself of all that you have. Family, friends, a home, food to eat, maybe even a cute puppy to come home to. Whatever your gratitude is toward, reminding yourself of it is a great way to reflect on the good in your life and make the regrets seem less important in the grand scheme of life.

2.    Trust the Journey

Reminding yourself that even the adverse events in life are part of a bigger journey allows you to look at the larger picture. Yes, you regret this one mistake. But, did that one mistake lead you down a different path that had good outcomes?

Everything happens for a reason, trust that in time you will find out why that mistake or loss occurred.

3.    Learn to Release Emotions

Emotions in the grand scheme of life (once again; are you seeing the bigger picture yet?) are fleeting yet.

Learning to release your feelings when they are not serving you will aid you now and in the future. Stop beating yourself up for something that happened in the past and learn to move on with a clear mind and focus.

4.    Accept the Lesson Learned

Situations or actions we regret typically offer us a lesson—if we are open to learning it. Accept that you learned a lesson and move on with it. Living through a challenging event means nothing if you don’t continue living and implement what you learned into your future life.

5.    “What If-ing” the Past Doesn’t Change the Future

Living in the land of “what ifs” is tempting. However, “what ifs” literally mean nothing in the practice of daily life. You can spend hours or even days guessing at a different outcome, but it doesn’t matter. Those what-ifs will never directly impact your future other than to steal from it. Stop reliving it and move on.

If you are living your life being swallowed alive by your regret, start exploring ways to release it and move on. You deserve a life that is fulfilled and happy, not a life that leaves you stuck in the past and wallowing in disappointment.

Nine Positive Reasons to Try Something New

What comes to mind when someone tells you to try something new?

Are you eager to jump in and try it out, or are you afraid of possible adverse outcomes?

See, most people get scared away by the thought of trying something they’ve never tried before. And that’s okay.

The next time you get the nerves about experimenting with something new, come back to your “why,” and remind yourself of these positive outcomes.

1.    You’ll Learn What You’re Really Capable of

How do you know if you don’t try? Once you start mixing it up and trying new things, you’ll unveil new things about yourself that you never knew before. You may have a hidden talent or a secret interest that can be made into something big.

2.    Humility is an Added Bonus

So you try something, and you fall on your face – the bright side is that you earn a sense of humility.

3.    Capitalize on the Accomplishments

Putting yourself out there makes it that much better when you hit the jackpot. Sure, it takes a lot of trial and error, but it’s worth it to be able to celebrate your big wins.

4.    One Down, Many to Go

Once you conquer one new thing, it feels like you can take on the world. You may start with something small like learning how to paint, and the next thing you know, you’ll be trying to learn a new instrument and master a new language.

5.    You’ll Stop Feeling Like You’re Alone

Because you’re not. Trying something new teaches you that it’s been done before many times. You’re not alone in this adventure – and you can reach out to others for support and help in your endeavour.

6.    Excuses will Subside

An excuse is an easy way out. It’s a coping mechanism, and it’s a sign of weakness. In the past, you may have said something like, “No, I’ll do that next year,” with regard to something new. But as you begin to try more new things, you’ll feel less inclined to dole out the excuses.

7.    You’ll Have More Control

It’s a dichotomy because, in some respects, you lose control. Trying something new puts you in a vulnerable place—you’re not always sure what will happen, and you’re not 100% in control of the situation. But at the same time, losing control teaches you how to have control over the things you CAN control.

8.    Learning Opportunities

Trying something new = learning something new. There’s a world of opportunities out there waiting to be discovered!

9.    You’ll be a Role Model

People are vetted off their abilities to handle life and create exciting experiences for themselves. If you’re hoping to be a role model for someone, put yourself out there and show them how it’s done!  

Valentine's Day is the biggest holiday of the year for love and romance. Shops are stocked up with roses, cards and heart-shaped chocolate boxes.

Restaurants are booked, subject to lockdown rules, dates are set, and people are desperately looking for new ways to express their love.

But behind the fuss, many see Valentine’s Day as simply over-hyped. For them, the day is too commercial and too stressful for genuine romance.

However, Some people are sincere about the recess, while others are just going through the motions. For somebody in a long-term relationship, a little romantic reminder may be what’s needed, but It’s one day of focus, but what happens to the other 364 days?

The Valentine’s Day hype makes it easy for us to forget that every day is an opportunity for couples to build intimacy and renew their passion. We often forget to put a little fantasy in our relationships to rediscover the oomph we used to have.

 In Mexico, the holiday celebrated on February 14th is called “El Día del Amor y la Amistad” (The Day of Love and Friendship)  

Please, remember that Valentine’s Day is a celebration of love in all of its forms—toward family, friends, and yourself in addition to romantic love. 

The more you recognise the love that already exists within and around you, the less lonely you will feel. 

Four Excellent Reasons to Develop Patience

Today's society looks for easy ways to make more money, have better health, and develop relationships. We are stuck in a fast-paced rut that leads many to lose their cool under inconsequential circumstances. As tempers flare, we begin to see the ramifications of an instant-gratification world.

The anger and tension people experience affect their bodies, increasing stress levels, and decreasing happiness. Even in an unhappy, stressful world, you have a choice to overcome the whirlwind threatening to engulf your life. It starts by developing the skill of patience.

Why You Should Develop Patience

Developing patience takes time…and patience. However, it is worth the journey as your body and life will reap the benefits. If you know you need to become more patient, take a moment to consider these four great reasons to kiss impatience goodbye and embrace patience instead:

1.    You Enjoy Better Mental Health: When you are patient, you tend to experience less depression and negative emotions. Practising patience gives you the tools to handle stressful or challenging situations. You will experience more hope and gratitude and not be stuck feeling like a spring under tension waiting for a release.

2.    Your Physical Health Benefits: Think of how your body reacts when you are aggravated and impatient. Your blood pressure rises, and you feel tension wracking your body. As the stress increases, it can harm the body. Patient people do not have the same reaction, which means their bodies are not reeling from stress's effects on it.

3.    You Will Attain Your Long-Term Goals: Few people want to invest the needed time and steps to reach their goals. When you develop patience, you can reach your long-term goals easier. For example, many people want to lose weight fast. Some do not necessarily keep the weight off because they do not take the time to learn new habits to override poor ones. Those that choose to be patient and understand that it requires lifestyle changes tend to keep the weight off longer.

4.    Your Relationships Will Deepen: We are social creatures, but good relationships take time and energy. Patient people learn to overlook the idiosyncrasies of others to deepen their relationship. Those with healthy relationships benefit from their mental health.

Choose to develop your patience. It primes the pump to better mental and physical health, achieving your goals, and deepening relationships. Overall, it will lead you to success in all aspects of your life.