Mental Health Training

I certainly doubt you haven’t heard that meditation is good for you, and it can help you feel more relaxed and has a host of other benefits. However, meditation isn’t appealing for many people because it sounds like another new-age wellness crank you don’t have time to do.

You may have become curious about this ancient technique that’s making a comeback in modern times. Let’s explore what you can do to learn more about meditation and, most importantly, how to give it a try. 

How To Start Meditating 

Getting started with meditation is a lot easier than you may think. There isn’t any special equipment you need to buy or classes you should be taking. While buying a book, a guided meditation audio recording or an app for your smartphone are certainly options, and you don’t even have to do that to get started. I’ll share everything you need to know to get started meditating right here in this post. 

Start by getting comfortable in a spot that’s as free of distractions as possible. You want to sit down either on a chair with your feet firmly planted on the floor or sitting cross-legged. If you sit on the floor, you’ll be more comfortable if you sit on a cushion. It’s essential that you can sit in whatever position you choose comfortably and that you’re keeping your back straight. Slumping may make you sleepy while you meditate, and bad posture may cause you to ache after a while. 

Before starting with the actual meditation, let’s get back to distractions. In the beginning, you want to cut as many of them out as possible. Choose a quiet spot where no one will interrupt you. Turn off the ringer on your phone close the blinds if you think it will help create a calm and soothing space. You won’t always have to go through all this trouble to meditate because, after a bit of practice, you’ll be able to do the little meditation exercise I’m about to share with you anytime, anywhere. But like any new skill, meditating can be a little tricky initially. It sounds simple enough, but it’s easy to get distracted. That’s why it’s essential to set yourself up for success by cutting out any distractions you can. 

One of the simplest forms of meditation is to become aware of your breath. Sit comfortably, calm your mind, and focus all your attention and conscious thought on breathing in and out. It’s more complicated than it sounds and takes a bit of practice. Still, once you get comfortable with this particular exercise, it’s a form of meditation you can do anytime, anywhere by following these steps. 

Here’s how to meditate. Sit down, close your eyes, and focus on your breath. Notice how the air flows in and out of your nose and mouth. Try to think of nothing else. This is the hard part and something that takes practice. Start meditating for a few minutes here and there and increase the time as you move along. Don’t judge yourself when your thoughts stray. Keep bringing yourself back to the sensation of the breath anytime you notice that you’re thinking of something else. 

That’s all there’s to it. Getting started with meditation is simple, but like any new skill, it takes practice. Be patient with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Stick with it and keep practising these new meditation skills. You’ll be glad you did. 

From there, you can explore other options like guided meditations online, such as audio recordings and the likes., for example. There are also some great apps out there with guided meditations. Search for meditation in your phone’s app store will help you increase your meditation time as you go along, and they are a great starting point.

Above all, I encourage you to look into meditation and try it.

There are so many traditions and practices out there. If you keep an open mind, I’m sure you’ll find the one that’s right for you. 

Why Do We Become People Pleasers

Merriam-Webster defines people, pleasers, as "a person who has an emotional need to please others often at the expense of his or her own needs or desires.

People-pleasing is a state of mind where individuals convince themselves that pleasing others is much more important than their own happiness. 

While this may not sound that bad, ignoring your own needs for others can negatively impact your life - significantly. 

Most people-pleasers know how bad it can be, so how did they end up doing it anyway? 

People Pleasing Comes From an Unstable Childhood

The number one reason adults become people pleasers is that their needs weren't met as a kid. If you are raised in a home without a great parent, you may have begun people-pleasing as a matter of survival.

For example, people-pleasing is typical in an individual raised by a parent with mental illness. A child can't comprehend conditions like bipolar or depression. If the parent regularly took out their emotions on the child, the child became a people pleaser to avoid the parent's outbursts. This behaviour continues into adulthood. 

People Pleasing Comes From Trauma

Not all people-pleasing comes from people who had a rough childhood. Instead, it comes from people who spent a long-time experiencing trauma that they never recognised or learned to overcome. For example, someone in an abusive relationship might become a people pleaser to avoid their partner's wrath. 

Suppose the relationship continues for an extended period, which these relationships frequently do. In that case, people-pleasing becomes a habit that is tough to shake. This behaviour will often continue, even when the abusive relationship eventually - and thankfully - comes to an end. 

While sometimes the origins of people-pleasing are dark, that isn't always the case. 

People Pleasing is a Habit

Sometimes people-pleasing is just something you got used to. If you found out early in life that people-pleasing leads to good outcomes (making people happy, words of thanks, etc.), then, of course, you continue the behaviour. 

Some people get so used to putting others first that they never learn to put themselves first. It can be hard to break past people-pleasing habits, even when they try. 

People-Pleasing Is Easy 

Sometimes people-pleasing is just more straightforward, and it's easier to give in than stand your ground. 

But that is no way to live your life. Under the self-sacrifice, aphorism, "it is better to give than receive," is generally classed under the old metaphors and principles, to "devote our lives to the service of the greater good".

Therefore, it could be argued that societies are now based on voluntary agreements for mothers and fathers to care for children together. They are moral but not political by following a "conjugal society".  

Learn more

Affirmation  List

• My needs are as important as anyone else's
• I need nobody's approval except my own
• I will achieve my dreams
• I refuse to apologise for who I am
• I respect myself
• My needs are as important as other peoples'
• My heart is good
• I will stop trying to please everyone apart from myself
•  I can achieve whatever I set my mind to
•  I am strong. I am kind. I am important
• I forgive myself
• I do not compare myself to others
• I welcome failures as learning opportunities
• I do not judge others, and I do not judge myself

Has someone told you that you are a people pleaser? It might be true, but it's a good idea to get a second opinion if you aren't sure. Below are 5 signs that you might be a people pleaser - consider these to be your "second opinion."

1. You Can’t Say No, Your friend has asked you for a favour for the 10th time. Your boss just asked you to stay late again. Both of your divorced parents want to see you for the holidays. A people-pleaser says yes to all of these people because they can't seem to say no to anyone. Not saying no means you are definitely a people pleaser, especially when you say yes to things that you know aren't going to work out.

2. You Constantly Wonder What Others Think, Are you always worried that your friends might hate you? Or that your significant other doesn't see you in the way you want them to see you? These anxious thoughts are a sure sign of people-pleasing behaviour. Thoughts like these cause you to please others before taking care of yourself.

3. You Feel You Never Have You Time Self-care is important, and most people-pleasers find they simply don't have the time. Mostly because they are too busy saying yes to everyone else. Take a look at your schedule. Do you have time pencilled in just for you?

If not, you're probably a people pleaser.

4. You Feel Bad Saying No Okay, so maybe you can say no, and you have before. However, did you feel bad or guilty when you said it?

You have every right to say no, and you shouldn't feel bad doing it. If you do, this is another sign that you are a people-pleaser.

5. You Constantly Apologize Are you always apologizing for everything, even stuff that may not be your fault?

This isn't healthy and means that you are probably a people-pleaser. People pleasers want people to like them no matter what, which can lead to them apologizing for things they didn't just to make sure they stay in the person's good graces.

Did you find that three or more of these things described you and how you feel?

If so, you are likely a people pleaser. If you don't want to damage your own health pleasing others, it's definitely time to accept that you are a people pleaser and begin looking for help to overcome your people-pleasing ways. 

Charming is defined as being pleasant, polite, friendly, and likeable. The most important part of that definition is "likeable." Being more likeable can make a significant difference in many areas of your life. Your relationships, business, career, and social life can all improve if you turn on the charm. If you want to learn more about becoming more charming, then check out these nine tips.

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Everybody worries sometimes. Right now, you’ve probably even got a few worries on your mind. You might be thinking about a relationship or a situation at work, causing you trouble. Maybe you’re worried about your health or whether you’re going to have enough money to pay the bills at the end of the month. Whatever the case, worry happens whether we intend for it to or not. This becomes a problem, though, when worry starts to take over your life.

So, what is the goal? Is stopping worrying enough to put you on an even keel, or are you hoping for something…more? What if, instead of worrying, you could become excited, then use this excitement to get more done?

 Let’s look at seven ways to achieve this:

Be Here Now

Worry has a way of trapping you anywhere but here. Either you’re worried about something which happened long ago, or you’re caught up in fretting about something still to come. Neither is going to get you anywhere. To stop worrying, you need to focus on the present. What interests you right now?

Realize This Gets You Nowhere Fast

Worrying stops you cold. In fact, most procrastination is caused by worrying. With this in mind, why are you wasting your time and energy worrying? Sometimes just recognizing what a waste worry is, will be enough to derail it altogether. Especially when you have better places to be.

Throw Yourself into Something Interesting

Worry needs your attention to survive. Get busy doing something engaging to your mind, and you’ll find you forget all about worrying.

Rewrite the Script

If you’re seeing everything blow up around you, maybe you should try focusing on the perceived disaster. Ask yourself how you could do things to handle the situation were it to happen. Once you have it, practice the scenario in your mind. Picture yourself handling matters.

Practice

Worried about something you need to do later? Having a dress rehearsal in your head will make things go smoother and keep worried at bay entirely.

Ask

Challenge your worry. Dig in and get to the roots until you understand your worry intimately. Ask yourself where the negativity came from. Peel back the layers until you get down into the heart of the matter.

Try a New Path

In the end, worry can become very attached to the familiar. Challenge yourself. Find a different way to do things. Explore where this path takes you.

The main point in all of these is to enjoy the journey. This is where you find the excitement and enthusiasm, which leads to getting things done. The rest is all momentum and a lot of brand-new accomplishments just waiting to happen.

If there is one thing we can all agree on, Mondays are the worst! Right? 

Well, what if that didn't have to be the case? What if we could take a few easy steps and change our Monday's mindset, so they weren't that bad? 

In reality, why settle for "not bad"? Here are nine tips that can help you frankly look forward to Mondays!

1. Keep The Same Sleep Schedule on Weekend
2. Disconnect on The Weekend
3. Create A Monday Morning Ritual
4. Prep For Monday on Friday
5. Flip Your Internal Script
6. Connect With Your Favourite People
7. Grab A Special Lunch
8. Make Fun Plans After Work
9. Do Something Nice for Someone

Learn more:

There will always be conversations within our own minds that dictate our words, our actions, and how we perceive the world.

Full Article Link

Our thoughts, the things we tell ourselves, have the power to raise us to the greatest heights, and likewise, plummet us to the deepest depths.

In fact, it can be argued there is nothing so telling regarding our success as our own self-talk and whether or not the things we tell ourselves are positive or negative.

This alone is why it is so incredibly important to eradicate negative self-talk from your mind. You would think this would be an easy task.

One has only to think positively to effect the desired change, right?

Sadly, this isn’t quite the case. While an awareness of the words you use can make things better for a time, it’s truly our habits that define us.

If you are customarily talking to yourself in negative ways, then chances are you’ve fallen under the spell of habits that need to change, now, before your life can improve.

Thankfully there’s hope. You really don’t have to live like this. Let’s look at these habits and talk about ways in which you can eradicate them, thus freeing you to the life you’re meant to live.

Sometimes in life, you have to have some awkward conversations—it's inevitable. However, there are ways to make awkward conversations less awkward. You have to know how to handle them.

Keep reading to learn a few easy tips for handling the awkward conversations that you have to have in your life.

1. Don’t Let the Conversation Pause

Although the conversation is already awkward, it will be more awkward if there are lots of long pauses.

Try to keep the conversation going, even if it is tough. If you don't know what to say right away and need a moment to think, then say that. It will keep the conversation going and give you a moment to think without awkwardness.

2. Add in a Joke

Depending on the tone of the awkward conversation, it may help to work in a joke. Of course, this is not appropriate for all awkward conversations, but it can help lighten the mood when it is. It can also be a humorous comment about the current situation. Just be sure the joke is appropriate.

3. Find Middle Ground

Many conversations are awkward because you don't agree with the point of view of the person you are talking to. If this is the case, try to find a middle ground before continuing the conversation.

For example, if you disagree about something, find something that you both can agree on in the topic and start there.

4. Change the Subject

Occasionally, you may accidentally find yourself in an awkward conversation, and it can help to change the subject when this happens.

After all, there is no reason to keep a conversation awkward when it doesn't have to be. Just make sure you change the subject to something less difficult to discuss.

5. End the Conversation Gracefully

Some awkward conversations don't have a conclusion. You and the other person may never see things the same way. If this is the case, it's time to end the conversation.

There are many ways to do this gracefully. Thank the person for their time, compliment their discussion style, or even just let them know that they are a great person, but now it is time for you to go.

No matter who you are, there will be a time in your life when you need to have an awkward conversation. Use the above tips to help you handle the conversation with ease when this happens.

Remember, even if there is no solution to the awkwardness, you can always discontinue the conversation.

Just ensure you do so with grace. 

The following piece includes nine powerful tips and three actionable steps you can take right away. It also lists suggested readings for those looking for even more information.

Foremost tips

Sometimes you need to hold off on a task, job, or project because something more pressing comes up. When you continually push it off, you may be struggling with procrastination. 

There are many reasons people procrastinate, from perfectionism, remaining in your comfort zone, or just being overwhelmed, but defeating procrastination is possible with these nine tips.

Read the full article:

https://mentalhealthtraining.info/news/motivation/procrastination

1. Figure Out Why You Procrastinate

2. Write Out a To-Do List 

3. Prioritise What You Need to Do

4. Break Projects Down into Bite-Sized Tasks 

5. Do Away with Distractions

6. Take Care of the Hardest Job When You Are at Your Peak

7. Tie a Reward to an Accomplishment

8. Find an Accountability Partner

9. Get Started 

At some point in your life, you have probably had someone tell you to "step out of your comfort zone," but how do you know what your comfort zone is exactly?

The truth is, your comfort zone isn't as easily defined as you might think.

Comfort Zones Look Different For Everyone

The hardest thing about defining your comfort zone is that it looks completely different from everyone else's.

While there might be something that is well within your comfort zone, like taking an international trip alone, this could be well outside the realm of someone else's comfort zone.

That same person, who stepped outside of their comfort zone to travel internationally alone, could be right at home trying new foods while you feel uncomfortable doing so.

Because comfort zones are so different, this means that only you can define your own. No one can tell you what you are and are not comfortable doing.

Only you know you.

Comfort Zones Don’t Always Get Better As they tell you to step out of your comfort zone, most people think that this will help you grow and become more comfortable with things. However, the opposite can also be true.

Sometimes, when you step too far outside your comfort zone, this can cause anxiety that you aren't ready to face just yet.

This can cause you to retreat further in your comfort zone and to associate things you once considered comfortable as uncomfortable.

Think of it this way. If you want to run a marathon and go out and run one tomorrow without any practice or work, you would likely injure yourself. A marathon is just too long to do without proper preparation.

Comfort Zones Need Exercise

Does the above make you scared to step out of your comfort zone?

It shouldn't. It should make you cautious about how you step out of your comfort zone. A comfort zone is a bit like a muscle. It would help if you worked it out. Start working towards big steps outside your comfort zone little by little.

Are you scared to travel internationally alone?

Try a weekend trip to a nearby city first. Then try a trip to a different state. Then conquer an international trip. Also, like a muscle, a comfort zone needs to be worked out regularly; otherwise, it will shrink, and you will quickly become less comfortable with things you were previously comfortable with.

Overall, no one can tell you your comfort zone besides you. Just like anything else in life, a comfort zone can change over time if you don't treat it properly.