Mental Health Training

 Do you ever wake up in the morning, and the last thing you want to do is get out of bed? How about the mornings when you wake up, hop out of bed ready to take on the world? What's the difference between those two scenarios?

Motivation.

Motivation compels us to set objectives and, more importantly - forces us towards them. If you want to know how to tap into the power of motivation, then listen to the following tips. 

Know What You Want

What is the point of motivation if you don't know what you want? Without having a clear vision of exactly what you desire, you won't be able to build up enough stimulus to get through the obstacles you are sure to face. 

Know Why You Want It

This step is just as important as knowing what you want. Why do you want to reach specific goals? What will it mean to your life? Think about all the people you don't want to let down in your life. These are the "whys," and they are essential. 

Set Goals That Excite You

It's beneficial to set reasonable goals that are easy to reach, and I would never suggest stopping that. However, it can also help to set some relatively wild or audacious goals. These goals might seem out of reach right now, but the allure of reaching them in the future might motivate you in the present.

Measure Your Results

Tracking and measuring your progress is key to motivation, and your motivation will naturally rise when you can genuinely see your efforts paying off. If you don't track and measure, how else will you know if you are making progress?

Reward Yourself 

If you are tracking your improvement, make sure you reward yourself. Rewarding yourself will ensure that you stay motivated. You are more likely to keep plugging away when you can see that reward getting closer and closer.

Use Your Social Circle 

Building accountability through your social circle is a great idea. When you have a big goal you want to achieve, let the people in your life know. Besides them potentially helping you along the way, it will also make you more accountable. The funny thing is that we are more likely to let ourselves down than our loved ones. 

Fake It

Are you not feeling motivated or energetic today?

Try faking it.

This tactic won't work all of the time, but it could help you get through a slow morning or 2. Pump yourself up with some music. Chug some coffee. Jump around if you have to. Anything to make yourself feel a bit more energetic.

Take Action

Have you ever sat down to work and couldn't get started? Sometimes, all it takes to boost your motivation is accomplishing a straightforward task. Pick the single, most direct thing you can do towards any of your goals and do it. Most likely, this will motivate you to take on the next challenge.

Discover Your Inspiration

People get inspired by different things. To maximise your motivation, you need to figure out what inspires you. Maybe it's a specific type of music. Perhaps it's a view from your house, and it could be a motivational speaker or celebrity. Find out what inspires you and schedule some time to immerse yourself in it each day.

Actionable Stages

Think about all of your goals and desires. Now list why each is important to you. If you don't want to get overwhelmed, focus on one or two primary goals.

Keep thinking about the goals from the last tip. Now, think about how you can reward yourself for hitting your milestones along the way. When is a good time for a reward? What is a good bonus?

Find 2-3 things that truly inspire you. Maybe it's a TedTalk on Youtube, or it might be a music playlist you can put on whenever you need it. Regardless of what it is, find what inspires you, and immerse yourself in it.

Fake it 'Til You Make It

Right now, I want to talk about the notion of faking it 'til you make it, which is kind of a common term if you read a lot of self-improvement books.

The idea is that if you act a certain way, even if you don't feel that way if you act that way long enough you can create the feeling. You can create this new result.

Which can work when used properly, but I think it's misunderstood. A lot of people think fake it 'til you make it means you pretend you're successful when you're not. 

You borrow a bunch of money to buy a fancy car or suit or watch, to give other people the impression that you're successful at sales, but meanwhile you never actually learn how to sell anything.

That's not really good implementation of fake it until you make it. You're probably just going to go broke.

A better implementation of fake it 'til you make it would be you take on a new job and that job requires that you deliver presentations, that you're a trainer, and you speak in front of people, and you hate doing it. You're scared. You're terrified. You don't want to get in front of that crowd because it's a scary thought. You're not used to doing it

But you have to do it because it's part of your new job.

Well, you don't have to let your audience know that you're terrified, that on the inside you feel these anxieties and these fears. You can fake it. You can fake confidence. You can act as though you're confident, you're well-prepared, that you're ready to tackle the world. That you love doing it.

You can act that way. You can appear to the outside world that you love what you're doing. On the inside, they don't really know what's going on. You can hide the fact that you might be feeling a little nervous right now, or maybe even worse than that.

This is an example of fake it 'til you make it, where it actually works.

The thing is if you act that way long enough, and I've actually done this because I used to be a speaker and a trainer who was very, very nervous, and I tried this, and it worked flawlessly.

I started walking into my training rooms, acting like I owned the place. Behaving like I was totally confident. Meanwhile, on the inside, I was really almost falling apart with nerves. 

But I would crack jokes, I'd have a smile on my face, I would hold my head high, I would practice the body language of somebody who was confident.

Before I knew it, I would do this for maybe just a couple of days, and by the end of that little exercise, I was feeling massive levels of confidence. The level of nerves and anxiety that I had experienced had drastically been reduced.

This is an example of faking it until you make it that actually works, that actually causes change, and that's a little more truthful when you think about it.

If you start flashing cash and showing that you drive an expensive car when really you haven't earned any of those things, that's really going to hurt you in the long run.

When you fake your confidence, when you fake a way of being, a personality, if that's not your true personality, but you want to be like that, faking it until you make it a reality is actually the way to do it.

That's how you alter your self-image. That's how you become this new person. It's really practising who you want to become.

From a personality perspective, faking it 'til you make it is perfect. Just use it within the right context.

6 Tips for Making Friends as an Adult

Who are your friends?

A recent survey has determined you might not have a lot of close relationships in your life. In fact, the number of people who claim to have more than three solid friendships in their lives is only 37% or one-third of the population. Even more discouraging is the idea that fully 27% of adults say they have no close relationships at all.

Making friends as an adult is a daunting idea. For one thing, we’re swamped. We get caught up on our personal responsibilities and business goals that frequently we don’t make time for a social life outside of loose connections with our children’s friends’ parents and professional networking. Who has the time?

Thankfully, you do. It actually takes less time than you think to discover the joy of adult friendships. You can start with these simple tips:

Start with the Old

Why reinvent the wheel? Instead, ask yourself who your friends used to be. Is it possible you can rekindle some old friendships? In this era of social media, tracking down your best friend from high school is easier than ever. Why not shoot someone a quick message or text to open up the conversation all over again?

Become a Listener

When in groups of new people, rather than working hard to be the life of the party, why not take a step back? Making a point to actively listen to people makes you more attractive to those around you (everyone loves a listener) and puts you in the position of discovering the things which intrigue you most about others. It’s a simple way to learn about shared interests, so you can strike up a friendship.

Take it to the Next Level

Have acquaintances, but aren’t quite ready to call them friends yet? Try opening up a little. Being vulnerable forges intimacy with others and deepens the friendship, taking it to the next level.

Stay in Touch

Worried about how to hang onto the friends you have?

If you want to keep people from falling off the radar and becoming distant, make a point to check in with them once in a while. Send a text, make a call, and set up a chance to get together. By checking in, you’re telling the other person they’re important to you and worth your time. A general rule of thumb? Connect about every two weeks.

Make a Group

Even better? Start putting your friends together in one place by creating a group of friends. There’s nothing more fun than hanging out in a gathering of people who enjoy each other’s company. Start simple, with a lunch date or drinks after work.

3 Truths About Reclaiming Confidence You Need to Know Right Now

Not everyone is going to get it right. Sadly, there’s always someone quick to point out when you’re getting it wrong. It’s when you come under fire that you lose confidence quickly.

To get past this kind of blow to our confidence, you need to understand these simple truths:

Not Everyone Has It Right. Not Even You

Haters are going to hate. But just because someone comes at you with the most reasonable-sounding explanation in the world of why you’re an idiot (and you’re an expert at giving that speech to yourself), the truth is, the person doing the talking quite likely doesn’t know what they’re talking about. This is because of one simple truth: People really don’t know everything, and even when they think they do, they have a tendency to get things wrong. So just because something nasty has been said, it doesn’t make it right. Regardless of who it’s coming from.

A Lot of Criticism is Grounded in Jealousy

That disaster you’re beating yourself up over? How much of it was the result of the green-eyed monster?

Too often, we give people authority over us, they don’t deserve it. We listen to their complaints thinking they’re right without questioning why they’re attacking what you’re doing. The biggest culprit of why you’ve drawn the attention of the critics is jealousy. Don’t let someone pull down your confidence just because they’re feeling threatened by where you are.

You’re Better Than You Think

The loss of confidence can make you a critic.

Why?

Because now you’re looking for justification for thinking you’re no good. And trust me, when you go hunting for this kind of justification, you’ll always find it. Here’s where you need to back up and take a good, hard, impartial look at yourself. Ask:

·       Is This Thought Really True?

For example, you might be thinking, “I fail at everything I do.” Is this realistic? Probably not.

·       If This Thought Isn’t True, What Emotion is it Coming From?

The most likely explanation? A lot of negative emotions come from fear. In the previous example, you might be afraid of failing, so by convincing yourself you’re a failure already, you no longer have to try.

·       What’s a Truer Statement I Might Make Instead?

Try rewording the thought and keep it honest. ‘I’m afraid of failing, but since I’ve succeeded in the past, there’s good reason to think I will succeed now.”

Confidence comes from accepting the reality of who you are and where you are. Remember, nobody, not even you, has a right to make you feel small.

What Happens When You Surround Yourself with the Wrong People? 

If you read enough self-help books, you will notice the recurring theme of surrounding yourself with the right people. You may have even heard your mom tell you to stop running with the wrong crowd. These are helpful suggestions, but what happens when the wrong type of personality surrounds you? How can the kinds of people affect your success goals?

How the Wrong People Affect You

You don’t want to eliminate relationships with everyone, but sometimes it makes sense to limit your exposure to them. Consider these ways that the wrong or unhelpful people in your life affect your path to success:

1.    They leave you physically and emotionally drained.

Some people are happiest when they can bring you down to their level. Think of that friend, cousin, or sibling that doesn’t want to see others doing better than they are. These are the ones who will point out all the reasons you shouldn’t do things instead of cheering you on. We all have at least one. If you notice that you feel worse about your choices after being with them, then it might be time to limit your exposure to them.

2.    Their limiting beliefs will limit you. These are the people who have a scarcity mindset. They are generous with their criticism but stingy with their praise. They don’t believe there is enough to go around, and you should be on the same plane of thought as they are. Hanging around with a person with limiting beliefs can stifle your creativity. You may have to discern what types of conversations you can have with them, as they just don’t understand.

3.    Their negativity will pull you down into the cesspools of negative thoughts. Not everyone is positive all the time. Most of us try to keep a positive outlook and look for the good in others and the circumstances. Negative people don’t. They don’t seem ever to see the bright side of things. If you are around this type of attitude for too long, you may join them in the quicksand of negative emotions. Don’t try to combat a negative person, and don’t sink to their level. Keep your positive outlook and look for those who want to share your positivity.

Make the most of your success journey by surrounding yourself with those who will support and help you on your way. 

How A Gratitude Mindset Can Help You Reach your Goals

When we have a long-term goal we are working towards, it’s easy to be so focused on it that we start to believe we won’t be happy until we reach it. It’s important to have long-term goals, but not at the expense of your daily life.

Staying in a place of gratitude for what you already have and what you’ve already achieved in your life can be a huge benefit in reaching your goals.

Gratitude Makes You Happier

Neurologists have learned that feelings of gratitude actually change the way your brain works. When you are consciously aware of all the wonderful things in your life, you are happier and more content.

When you are happy and feeling good about your life, it’s easier to believe that more good things await you down the road.

Gratitude Lowers Stress

A life filled with the struggle to always be better will lead to a life of stress. Yes, you want to reach your goals. You want to unlock all the potential that’s inside you. But finding a way to balance this desire with gratitude for what you’ve already accomplished and what you have in your life today is also important.

When constantly pushing yourself forward, it’s easy to believe you aren’t good enough today. Focusing on what you have to be grateful for today lowers your stress level and helps you enjoy the journey to your ultimate goal.

Gratitude Makes You More Optimistic

Believing the grass is always greener on the other side is a sure way to ensure your dissatisfaction with life. It makes you feel like you may never get the life you want. This pessimism just makes everything in life harder.

You may even just give up on your dreams because you don’t believe you can attain them. Keeping a grateful mindset offers you a way to enjoy life now and look forward to the future, once your goals have been realized.

Obtaining a grateful spirit doesn’t take a lot of time and effort, but it makes a huge difference in your life.

Start by keeping a small notebook with you or using an app on your phone to note the little things that happen throughout your day that you are grateful for.

Some people prefer to keep a gratitude journal by their bed and add a short list of things that they are grateful for that day. Give it a try if you feel you’ve been too focused on a goal, and it’s making you unappreciative of what you already have.

How Can I Stop Avoiding My Feelings?

 In this day and age, individuals are usually encouraged to suppress their feelings and emotions for several reasons. Your job wants you to remain professional, and kids are taught that expressing emotions makes you weak. But all this avoidance of feelings can cause them to fester and grow into serious issues such as anxiety and depression. This is why it is time to stop avoiding your feelings.

Mindfulness

The number one tool you can use to stop avoiding your emotions is applying mindfulness to your life. Mindfulness is taking time out of your day to spend with yourself, your thoughts, and your feelings. Mindfulness will teach you who you are as a person and how to accept yourself just the way you're. It can also teach you about how and why you feel certain emotions, and you’ll learn to express them properly instead of burying them within.

Meditation

Another easy way to begin to confront your feelings and work through them is through the practice of regular meditation. Medical professionals worldwide simply rave about the health benefits of meditation. Several studies have shown that it can help with even more serious issues such as anxiety and depression.

So, it’s time to engage in meditation in your own life daily, so you can spend time processing your emotions in a safe space.

Deal With Your Emotions Immediately

A common tactic in emotional repression is when you experience something that you resolve to deal with it later. The problem is, that you rarely actually end up dealing with it later. This is why it is good practice to decide to work through your emotions when they come around. If someone says something that upsets you, tell them that, right then and there, and then the issue can be resolved immediately. This is much better than burying the pain of the hurtful words until they grow to be something worse when the words may have been a simple misunderstanding.

Overall, it can be a challenging task to learn to stop avoiding your feelings. But if you are going to live a happy and healthy life, you must learn to express your feelings to yourself, and others, respectfully. So, start with a bit of mindfulness, meditation, and immediacy, and soon you’ll find you’ll no longer feel like you need to hide your emotions. 

Apply These Five Métiers to Make Sure You Stay Motivated 

You’re midway through the project, and you’re losing appeal. Motivation is about to go out the window, and you feel helpless to keep it. What can you do to stay motivated so that you can stay on track through the remainder of the project? Try these tips:

1. The first thing you need to do is visualize your success. 

Before you go another step, you need to see yourself at the end of the project with everything accomplished to your satisfaction. Why? Because what we tell ourselves will happen – will happen exactly how we tell ourselves. So if you’re caught up in thoughts of failure, you’re already likely to crash and burn.

Likewise, if you see yourself at the finish line, with the project completed, you’re much more likely actually to succeed. So keep a positive image in your head, and keep going.

2. Next, stop worrying. 

Yes, that’s easier said than done, but the more you worry, the more you’re going to derail your motivation and any energy and enthusiasm you still had for the project. To do this, you will have to look critically at what you’re doing and ask yourself if there are things you can change.

If so – change them. If not, then let them go. Motivated people don’t get caught up in worry, but instead, they make it a habit of looking to the future.

3. If you intend to stay motivated, you’re going to need to be consistent in action and set positive goals. 

Motivation flags when neglected, so to keep the energy where it’s going to do the project the most good, you’ll want to make sure that you’re constantly moving forward.

That means checking your motivation levels daily and then taking action to keep those levels up. Even if you’re taking the weekend off from work, you should take at least a few minutes to indulge in thoughts about your project, where you remind yourself that you’re looking forward to jumping back in on Monday morning. That keeps motivation and interest high even when you’re not working. 

4. If you’re still having trouble with motivation, check to see who’s hanging around. 

It could be that you have too many negative influences around you. Surround yourself with positive people who are also highly motivated individuals. All that positive energy is bound to rub off on you!

5. Lastly, keep a positive environment where motivation can thrive. 

Listen to music that motivates. Use positive affirmations, read motivational books, or listen to podcasts that make you want to jump right back into your project. A lot of staying motivated comes from feeding yourself with a steady diet of inspiring things.

Staying motivated doesn’t have to be an impossible task. Some attention to the details will keep you on track as you work and help you to get to the finish line. Be mindful of what you’re doing, and with a variety of positive influences, you’ll get to where you want to go.

Does Having Aspirations Matter?

As a kid, did you dream about being a police officer, astronaut, or computer game programmer?

If so, you had long-term hopes that influenced everything you did, from the television, shows you watched to the classes you took in school. Without those aspirations, you may have felt like you were floundering in the choppy seas called life.

Many people go through life without a real feeling of accomplishment or end goals. They graduate high school, maybe go to college, and enter adulthood with all their responsibilities. Without having a sense of a bigger purpose to guide them, they may feel hopeless and have developmental health issues, such as depression.

Why Having Aspirations Matter

Your life makes a difference when you have lifelong dreams. Having a long-term goal in mind gives you a roadmap for your life. It gives you hope when things go askew. Here is why

1.    They Help You Figure Out the ‘Why’ in Your Life:

Why do you go to the same job every day? Why did you choose to get a degree in biology?

When you answer similar questions, you are developing your aspirations. Your answers may take you into a new area of your career or family life. You will start finding your purpose.

2.    They Guide Your Life and Career Choices:

As you determine the type of person you want to be or the type of career you want, your dreams will guide your decisions.

For example, you may end toxic relationships. You may take a new position or turn down a promotion based on where you see yourself later in life.

3.   They Motivate You:

Let’s say you have children and hope one day to have grandchildren. Yet, you are overweight and struggle to keep up with your kids. If you dream that you will be an active grandmother, you will find ways to change your life now to get healthier. You will have the motivation to enhance your life.

4.    You Become Self-Aware:

Being self-aware keeps you in touch with your feelings and helps you make better life decisions. You will learn what brings you inner peace and happiness. You will pursue those goals that are intrinsically rewarding, too.

Avoid chasing the wind. Take time to think about your life now and how you want it to be in the future. Soon, you will find yourself in a much more rewarding place as you work on your aspirations.

How Aspirations Can Affect Our Relationships

When you have dreams, you hope that your loved ones will come alongside you and help you achieve them.

This is especially true in a romantic relationship. Sometimes, your aspirations will align, and things will be smooth sailing.

Other times, you may feel like you are on opposite ends of the universe with no way to meet in the middle.

 It is possible to support each other in your respective pursuits. It takes some patience and open communication, but it is doable when you understand how aspirations can affect your relationship.

Relationships vs. Aspirations: How They Affect Each Other

It is vital to understand that your goals, dreams, and aspirations will ebb and flow as you live life. They will also affect your relationships and vice versa. Consider how relationships and aspirations go hand-in-hand or battle it out for your future:

1.    Love has a way of distracting you: That new love will keep you busy with dates and fun activities. This also means you may stop writing or painting daily. You may even skip class or networking events so that you can be with your new love.

2.    You may forgo your dreams, so they can pursue theirs.

It’s not a bad thing to support your significant other as they aim for their goals. What may cause issues is if you are not offered the same support.

3.    Your dreams may change in ways you never thought of:

As you grow in your relationship, you may find that you and your partner share goals and ideals. For example, you may want a strong family unit, so you can set down roots and have children.

4.    You forget your aspirations because life is too comfortable:

Let’s say you want to build an online business, but you find your evenings filled with cuddling in front of the television instead. Hard work sometimes means deciding to forgo the couch.

5.    Your partner may be jealous of your growth:

It is possible that when you decide to refocus on your aspirations, your partner may feel left out. This can lead to jealousy and possibly a rift in your relationship. It’s vital to support each other and communicate openly to ensure you remain a couple. 

Relationships and aspirations can work together when you know what you are up against. Enjoy both by keeping your focus, encouraging each other to pursue interests, and communicating openly. Soon, you will both be on top of the world as an unstoppable force.