Today we speak to the amazzzzzing Natasha Hamilton, better known as her days from Atomic Kitten (fan girling internally) on her honestly on going through postnatal and prenatal depression. Thank you so much for your honesty Natasha and see links below to her IG page, and also links below if you're struggling with anything we've discussed on this podcast today.
https://www.instagram.com/natashahamilton/?hl=en
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/postnatal-depression-and-perinatal-mental-health/about-maternal-mental-health-problems/
Eve: Hi Natasha, do you want to start by introducing yourself to our listeners? (0:26)
Natasha: My name is Natasha Hamilton, and you may know me as being 1/3 of Atomic Kitten. I’m also a very busy mum and have 4 children, 3 who are still at home.
Eve: Tell me a little bit about your life in the band days? (1:00)
Natasha: Back in the day as people say life was crazy. I left home at the age of 16 and moved to London and we became one of the world’s biggest girl bands, and we signed a 1.5 million record deal. Life became very busy and we were in high demand, we were travelling the world. Our schedule was so intense that we just never stopped. Although it was fun, it was exhausting at the same time. We got to do so many incredible things.
Eve: Yes, I bet it was so intense at the time only being 16 and then you left 6 years later? (2:25)
Natasha: Yes, I became pregnant with my eldest son Josh and I had him when I was still in the band. I only had 6 weeks maternity leave. It’s crazy that I thought that would be enough time to have a baby and recover. It’s not surprise that I was going to find things different. I was away so much, and it became difficult to me as I wasn’t enjoying that job I used to once enjoy. I didn’t know at the time I was also going through the first stages of postnatal depression, which I was hiding. I was depressed all day every day, except from when the camera was rolling. It became this big secret that I was carrying around with me. 9 months into having Josh things came to a massive head.
Eve: I guess your job had almost switched from being in this famous girl band to being a mum and you probably couldn’t do both? How was life after you left the band then? (5:30)
Natasha: Life was difficult after leaving the band as I was craving normality so much. You quickly realise coming out of that, that life doesn’t go back to normal. People would still whisper under their breath “omg that’s the girl out of atomic kitten”. I was trying to build relationships with the new community I lived in. A lot of the mums were older than me, so I found it hard making friendships with mums. Everybody knew who I was, but I didn’t know anyone else. There was no easy fix to everything that was going on.
Eve: Now you have 4 gorgeous babies, how was your journey to motherhood with them? (6:50)
Natasha: every single one of them has been totally different. With my first, I suffered with postnatal depression, but my pregnancy was wonderful. My second youngest, Harry, he was adamant to make an early arrival. At 20 weeks I went into early labour. I was suffering with a kidney infection that I couldn’t get rid out and it was causing a lot of problems. I finally had him at 38 weeks. Then after I had him, I was ok, I had a little bit of postnatal depression, but nothing compared to the first time. After that I actually lost a baby, and it was really traumatic at the time. I was newly married, and I fell pregnant on my honeymoon and everything was so perfect. So, to have to deal with that, it was really hard and it sent me into quite a dark place for quite a while. Eventually, I had Alfie. That was a really stressful pregnancy from what had happened before. I was constantly worrying. When he came I thrived. Then I had Ella, which I don’t know whether my body was not used to carrying a girl, but right from early conception, I was having panic attacks, horrendous anxiety. I was diagnosed with prenatal depression which I didn’t know was a thing. When Ella got to 3 or 4 months old, I just wasn’t coping at all. It was just a spiral and when Ella was 10 months old, I had a full-on breakdown. I had to go back to work pretty quickly after giving birth as I needed the income.
Eve: How did you realise you were going though PND in the end? (11:55)
Natasha: Constant worry, constant crying, not sleeping, erratic moods, not wanting to leave the house. I was treated with medication but that didn’t seem to work. It led me to a path of thinking that I had been depressed for several years and how could I change this so I looked into diet, excercise and holistic therapies.
Eve: You went through cognitive therapy, what is this? (13:15)
Natasha: I went through a very intensive course of cognitive behavioural therapy and that was about learning to control your thoughts and living in the now. It’s a lot to take in and is not for everyone and even when I was told I was going to do it, I thought it was a lot of rubbish. I think I felt like that as I wasn’t confident in my own ability. It ended up being one of the most incredible experiences, it was hard but by the time I had my 18th session I was crying, with happy tears and I gained back control of my life.
Eve: So, 1 in 10 people according to the statistics, suffer with postnatal depression which is actually very high. What advice would you give to people who are going through a similar situation to what you were in (16:35)
Natasha: If you have just had a baby or you are pregnant and you don’t feel right, speak to someone about it. The worst thing you can do is keep it inside. You only feel how you respond to your body. Speak to someone whether it’s a family member or friend.
Eve: When you got your mojo back, what did you get up to? (18:35)
Natasha: I’m doing really well; the last 18 months have been a challenge, but I’ve learnt a lot about myself and to put myself out there and take it day by day. One of my biggest life tips is to do something every day that is for you before you sort the kids out. I get up half an hour or an hour before the kids and I will write journals, do a workout and just start my day in the right way. It’s about finding tools that work.
Eve: As a mother of 4, what does motherhood mean to you? (20:30)
Natasha: Motherhood changes all the time with the different phases. Motherhood is constantly evolving, exhausting but incredibly rewarding.
Eve: What is the main mantra you live your life by and why?
Natasha: Fill your own up before filling anyone else’s. Even if its 15 minutes before you have to get up. If you have a newborn rest or nap, have downtime when they have downtime.
