Merci Maman: Studio Stories

Today I speak to the lovely Kate, who is known for her account overatkes on insta. Listen to find out more on why Group Strep B is so important to know about in pregnancies.

Today we chat to the lovely Emma Bunning!

Today we chat to Chris Edwards from @ittakes_three over on Instagram, where we discuss mental health surrounding IVF and infertility struggles. Mental health surrounding this topic from a partners perspective is not widely discussed and we talk about Chris and his partner Becca's journey over the last 4 years.

Today we chat to the lovely Kelsey from @being_kelsey over on instagram We chat motherhood, career, and what it's like to be in the public eye!

Eve: Today we are talking to Kelsey Parker who is @beingkesley on Instagram. We will be chatting everything motherhood. Do you want to tell us a bit about yourself and who you are? (0:30)

Kelsey: I’m an insta mum and a mum of 2. Aurelia is 2 going on 22 and Bodhi is 7 months, and I am married to Tom Parker who was in the band The Wanted.

Eve: That’s so cool and you have done some acting in the past haven’t you? (1:15)

Kelsey: Yes, I trained at Italia Conti so I have danced, sung and been acting my entire life. I started when I was 2 and I have done a few bits. I was Chantelle in EastEnders and I was also in Harry Potter when I was a kid. So many people ask me about it and I say yes, I have sat in the great hall, been on the moving staircase.

Eve: Wow! How old were you when you were on Harry Potter? (2:00)

Kelsey: I was about 13/14 and it was honestly the best time. We would get picked up from school about 6am to get the coach and we would have the time of our lives. It was the 3rd film as well and we had known the first 2 were massive.

Eve: That’s so cool. How did you and Tom meet back in the day? (03:25)

Kelsey: We met in a nightclub and I was 19 in London and was outside the club in London with my best friend Kelsey who I run a business with, and I said to her OMG I love that guy I need to speak to him. When we got into the club our tables were next to each other and it was actually Tom’s first night out as the band. He started trying to chat me up and telling me he was in a band and I said what’s your band called, and he said we haven’t got a name yet. He didn’t even ask for my number, he asked for my name so he could add me on Facebook. We chatted after and the rest is history as they say!

Eve: Have you ever struggled being in the public eye? (5:39)

Kelsey: There have been times, I’m not going to lie that have been hard. When we first got together, it was a secret for quite a long time because we didn’t want to come out and put the pressure on our relationship. When we did come out, I got a lot of hate from the fans, but me being me I turned it around and I have since really got on with their fan base. I used to do workshops for the fans, so I got to know quite a few of them on a personal level. We did the wanted life on E and that was quite tough going as the things we spoke about in the show were hard and also being filmed 24/7 was hard. I have had some moments where I’ve been walking out of clubs drunk and my cellulite has made the papers the next day. I’m not one of those people to get down on those things though.

Eve: How were your pregnancies with both of your children? (7:32)

Kelsey: They were completely different pregnancies, even the way I carried them. Aurelia, I suffered really bad pre-eclampsia with and I was really poorly. Everything was so swollen, my ankles, feet, hands. I ended up being induced a week early with her. Then with Bodhi it was better to a degree, but we had some trauma towards the end. He decided to kick and break his own waters 2 weeks early.

Eve: That’s crazy. How were your births with both? (8:40)

Kelsey: I got induced with both of them and when I got induced the birth happened really quick and in fact the doctors and nurses weren’t believing me. I dilated very quickly. Bodhi was 30 minutes in labour and Aurelia was an hour.

Eve: What is your parenting style with both of them? (10:55)

Kelsey: It’s really hard because me and her dad are both performers, so how can I expect anything less. I probably encourage her personality but then I am strict on being polite and being kind. I am kind of a free spirit mum.

Eve: What’s the best thing about motherhood for you? (12:23)

Kelsey: Its cliché but its everything about being a mum. I have always wanted to be a mum. It is hard work being a mum but they just bring you such joy.

Today we had the pleasure of speaking to the lovely Casey Batchelor on her journey to motherhood, and also her journey to Yoga Blitz. https://www.instagram.com/caseybatchelor1/

Eve: Hi Casey, thank you for joining me today. Today we will be talking about all things motherhood. Do you want to start telling me a bit about yourself? (1:00)

Casey: I have 2 little girls with another little girl on the way. A lot of people know me from the love triangle I had in Celebrity Big Brother, and I now have a successful yoga blitz company.

Eve: How has your pregnancy been so far (4:22)

Casey: This has been the best pregnancy out of the three so far. With Florence I was horrendously sick and dry heaved from start to finish. With Sadie, it was the same again, but with this one I forget that I am pregnant sometimes. I feel fine, and that was why I was adamant I was having a boy, but I was wrong!

Eve: That’s lovely. Have you always imagined having a bigger family (5:07)

Casey: Yes, I have done. I’ve got 2 brothers so there is 3 of us and its nice having a bigger family.

Eve: What do you think the hardest thing about motherhood for you is? (6:45)

Casey: I am still a new mum really. As much as I love to work still and be proactive, I love to be a full-time hands-on mum as well. With my work its good as a lot of it is on the phone and I can do it from home and the girls can come with me. It also hard as I can’t just walk out the door to go to work and leave them at home and be able to fully focus on work because they are always with me. I guess most people are either a mum or at work but I’m juggling both at the same time. I can get mum guilt sometimes when they are at work with me.

Eve: You mentioned before that Florence’s labour was quite traumatic for you, could you tell me a bit more about this? (8:50)

Casey: Florence’s heart rate was sporadically going up and down and they didn’t know what was wrong, so they needed me to have more of a rapid birth. They broke my waters but it gave me a rapid birth. I was having contraction after contraction after contraction with no break in between. They say that a contraction at its highest point is the same pain equivalent to breaking 20 bones at the same time. So its pretty painful. My body was going into shock, I was being sick all down myself and I was having fits because it was so painful. I got to about 8.5cm and I physically couldn’t do it anymore. I needed an epidural, but I couldn’t stay still to get it. It took them 6/7 attempts to get it in and whilst doing this they punctured my spine and I had epidural drips and brain fluid leakage down the back of my spine. They then had to cut me and give use forceps to get Florence out. For the first 4 weeks I couldn’t stand properly as I had this epidural drip in.

Eve: How was Sadie’s birth (11:45)

Casey: For Sadie’s birth I chose a C-Section, and it was so much calmer. I know the recovery for a C-Section is bad as you are essentially being cut in half, but I recovered better from that.

Eve: Now going onto your yoga blitz, you have had the most amazing transformation all through yoga. Being in the public eye, did you feel the pressure to go back to your pre baby weight? (12:40)

Casey: I feel like being in the public eye there is always that pressure and there are some people that snap back but they are very far and in between. The majority of the people don’t, and I am one of those people. I find it really important to post that you don’t snap back, and I started my yoga blitz and my transformation, but I did them over time and in a healthy and steady way. It’s important for women to know it takes time and your body changes after having a baby. It’s taken 9 months for your belly to expand its not going to go back down after a week. I think it’s important for me to promote that body image.

Eve: You did get trolled after having Florence, which is disgusting. Did this spur you on? (13:58)

Casey: The trolls make me laugh, they don’t bother me, and it makes me laugh that they take the time to do that. You could read 100 lovely comments and 1 horrible comment but it’s always the horrible ones that stay with you. You have to feel sorry for these people, and they don’t mean anything.

Eve: After being a new mum only 3 years ago, what is your best advice for any new mums listening at the moment? (16:40)

Casey: It’s going to be tough, it’s amazing. I always say to people the first 2-4 months are the toughest as you are going to be very sleep deprived. Once you hit the 4 month mark, the baby starts to sleep more. Take every day as it comes. Don’t feel like you need to be this amazing mum as you are amazing anyway! Being a happy mum will make your baby happy.

Eve: What does motherhood mean to you? (17:59)

Casey: Motherhood means to me creating a lot of magical and amazing memories and filling your house with love.

TW: Baby Loss

See more over at - https://www.myfussyeater.com/

Eve: Today you’re going to be speaking a bit about myfussyeater which is you’re Instagram and your journey of starting pick plates. Do you want to tell us about yourself? (0:36)

Ciara: Most people would have seen me on Instagram or come across one of my recipes. I am a mum of 2, my kids are 10 and 7 now.

Eve: Amazing, and your known as myfussyeater over on Instagram so do you want to tell me a bit more of what you do? (1:17)

Ciara: So, it’s sort of a resource of recipes for kids and families with tips of how to get kids eating better. It started with my own experience with my daughter when she hit the toddler stage, she became really fussy. I was struggling a little with advice on the internet. There is so much advice out there for the weaning stage, but I found when she hit the toddler stage there wasn’t so much. So, I decided to do it myself, and started the website and uploading recipes, talking about what I was doing.

Eve: What were your daughters’ habits of eating that made you want to start this? (4:14)

Ciara: I think it was more that I didn’t appreciate the work and the effort that goes into feeding a child, because we were really busy with work and she went to an amazing childminder. She went there from when she was 6 months old, so all her weaning was done with the childminder and she had 3 meals a day there, so I was quite removed from the process and felt I just picked it up at the weekends. When she was 18 months old and I was at home feeding her, 3 times a day, I didn’t appreciate the work that went into it. she wasn’t eating a large variety of food, and just wanted plain food.

Eve: What are your tips for fussy eaters or the reasons why children go into that stage? (6:15)

Ciara: The first tip I always say to people is relax and just take a step back. It’s something most kids go through at some stage. Try to introduce foods very slowly, they need routine and consistency in their life. Getting them involved is really good as well, getting them in the kitchen helping even if it is just making a sandwich. Try to break the routine if it’s not working, there is no point doing it over and over again.

Eve: They’re great tips. I know you have another Instagram called pick plates so could you tell us about how this started? (8:56)

Ciara: Pick plates came about as I realised when I was feeding my kids, they ate a lot better when the food was on divided plates. As the kids got older and they had more friends coming round, they others were the same as well. When I use to serve platters of food separately and they were nicely presented, the kids used to eat more and some of my friends would say so and so doesn’t eat this at home but has eaten it now. I could only get similar plates to the pick plates now around Christmas time and they were bad quality, so I thought why not make my own and it went from there.

Eve: going back to your children, I know you have been quite open with Finn’s diagnoses of Autism. Could you tell us a bit more about this diagnoses journey? (12:42)

Ciara: So, we realised quite early on there was some issues there after his 2nd birthday. We were lucky we had good support from his nursery and local GP and he was diagnosed a year later at 3 and half. It has meant for Finn that he went to a specialist school, which is amazing. He was non-verbal for a long time and now its incredible and he’s come on so much. It’s not easy for him at all and were so proud of him.

Eve: What does motherhood mean to you? (17:30)

Ciara: It’s amazing, it’s the best thing I’ve ever done. I’m so happy I had my children and so grateful that I was able to have them. It’s a massive part of my life.

Today we speak to Helen @thetittygritty on instagram, to speak about her experience with having breast cancer. Helen is now an amazing advocate, and founder of the Change & Check campaign, and also The C-List.

Eve: Thank you for joining us today on the podcast. So today we're chatting about your journey on having cancer and where you are now. So, do you want to start by introducing yourself and who you are? (0:30)

Helen: Hi I am Helen Addis and I am a features editor for the ITV Lorraine show and three years ago I was getting ready for work one morning I found a lump under my right boob. I wasn't worried because I don't have any family history of cancer, I’m relatively fit and well I don't drink that much. I did make an appointment to see the GP just to be sure and she agreed yes, it’s unlikely to be anything and is probably hormonal but let's get a consultant just to check it out. Two weeks later, I was in front of a consultant and another four lumps had grown, so I thought wow got to be hormonal because cancer doesn't do that does it. The consultant gave me a mammogram biopsy and an ultrasound and three days later I was back, and she said the words I never thought would come my way and that was that I had grade 3 breast cancer and I nearly fell off my chair. I asked what does grade 3 mean and basically there is no grade four, grade 3 means that it's the most aggressive it's the type that is hungry and wants to travel.

Eve: So, tell me what happened after that in the last three years? (02:35)

Helen: So when I was given that diagnosis it was a week before my 40th birthday and at that point in my life like I said earlier at my 3 little kids I was caring for a mum with dementia and and the thing that I was looking forward to most was my 40th birthday party. I had to cancel my party and instead it was five days later having a mastectomy. Then I started 16 rounds of chemo followed by 15 rounds of radiotherapy followed by 18 rounds of targeted hormone therapy. It was probably the hardest thing I think I’ll ever have to go through. The surgery was really lifesaving because it was travelling fast. Once they have done that to me they then send that off to be tested and they came back saying that it gone to my lymph nodes as well as had to then a week later go back in for further surgery to have all the lymph nodes removed on one side. Then it was a series of pet scans, CT scans, ultrasounds, blood tests, brain MRI just to see where else it in your body is. I'd really braced myself that it was going to be somewhere else but thankfully I came back with a full everything is clear everywhere else in my body, so I was extremely fortunate and had I not gone to the GP as soon as I did my story, we extremely different right now.

Eve: Yeah of course, I think that just sort of highlights how important it is to check yourself. How are you doing today? (05:24)

Helen: I am doing great now. I am checked every three months at the moment. I’m on a type of medication called tamoxifen which I have to have for the next 10 years it's a tablet I take every day, but the side effects are horrible. It’s a really incredible drug and it helps keep any cancer cells at bay.

Eve: How did the change and check campaign come about? (06:28)

Helen: I started the change and check campaign when I was having chemotherapy I would always call up a friend or family member. I would say to them you do check yourself don’t you, and 9 times out of 10 they no, they don’t know what they’re looking for, or their boobs are too big. Other people said they were too scared; they wouldn’t want to find anything. If I hadn’t had checked the outcome would have been very different. If a cancer diagnose can come to me, it could happen to anyone.So, I came up with an idea of a sticker, to be placed on retail changing room mirrors and also in gym changing rooms and it says in the time it takes for you to try that top on, you could check yourself for signs of breast cancer. I thought it was the perfect place for the sticker to be as you are probably in a cubicle on your own and you are most likely going to take your top off. I launched that 18 months ago now. It was launched in shops like John Lewis and Oasis and in some police forces and has also been talked about in Parliament. Since I launched it, I have had 48 women contact me now to say they have found their cancer early as a result of seeing one of the stickers. That’s only 48 I have heard from, there are probably more. But it just goes to show that you can never be too careful. I’m not trying to scare people, what we are trying to get people to do is to know what your normal is, because then if something does appear, you know it’s not normal and can get it checked out. The screening age for breast cancer is 50. I was 39. I think it’s really empowering to know your own body and to go with your gut instinct.

Eve: the work you do is amazing, and you’ve recently started something called the C List, do you want to tell us about this? (10:05)

Helen: So, when I was on treatment and I was told I was probably going to lose my hair and my skin was going to become very sensitive. They told me to really think about the beauty products I was going to use. I’m quite a practical person so I thought if I get my new shampoo, conditioner and body creams I’m going to feel a bit more prepared for chemo. When I was in the chemist, I picked up a shampoo and thought I’m not sure if I can use this, so I asked the shop assistant who asked her manager. She shouted, this woman’s got cancer, can she use this. I felt like such an alien. 1 in 2 people get cancer and I felt like nobody wanted to open their arms to me at a time I needed my war paint if you like, those pick me up things. I felt like doors were being closed in my face the whole time. So, this got me thinking, that there are products out there, but just nobody knows which ones to go for. So, what I’ve done is curated a website of beauty products which are cancer kinder. I have about 400 products on there. The idea of the website that it is more than just products, its tips and tricks, and things on how I told my kids, how to wear a headscarf and all that kind of stuff. With any profits I then make off the website, I give back and I gift someone some items.

Eve: I think when we think about cancer, you forget it affects your whole body as well. How did it affect you? (14:20)

Helen: With my treatment, I had terrific mouth ulcers to the point where I found it very difficult to speak some weeks. I was having to have my food and drink through a straw, and it was excruciating. Where I have no lymph nodes in my right arm, I have a very weak right arm. I don’t want to be a Debby downer on things, as I have had so much come out of my diagnosis as well. I’m here talking to you and spreading the word. It makes me appreciate life more and not to sweat the things that don’t matter as much.

Eve: What advice can you give to someone going through their cancer journey at the moment? (16:35)

Helen: I wish someone had said to me if someone is offering you help, take help and don’t feel bad for it. if you accept that help, you don’t need to figure out a way of repaying that person. The other thing I would say is, there is such a supportive cancer community on social and on Facebook. I didn’t want to be talking to my husband and kids daily about how scared I was, I needed to protect them. It’s alright to not feel alright.

Eve: What is your main mantra you live your life by and why? (20:00)

Helen: It would be just live life to the full. Live today like there is not a tomorrow because I was so nearly told there might not be a tomorrow which is a very scary position to be in. also, don’t spread yourself thin, hang out with those that love you dearly.

Eve: Do you think that the journey you have been on has changed your outlook on life today? (20:37)

Helen: you wouldn’t believe it. anything that was before my cancer diagnoses and I always think who are you? You have no idea what is winging its way to you and how much you are going to change. I look back at that person and I wouldn’t want to be them. I didn’t live life how I live it now.

TW: Baby Loss

Tahnee's Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/themindfulgriefcoach/

Do you want to start by introducing yourself? (0:43)

Do you want to tell me about your journey to motherhood and starting a family? (2:45)

Did you embark on hypnobirthing before Gus or after? (5:30)

You had Gus, and then 2 years later did you start trying for another baby? (6:25)

Your labour wasn’t normal with Elvis was it, do you want to go into a bit about that? (9:55)

Can you talk about your stages of the grief in the days after and even today? (18:05)

Your very open about grief on your Instagram, speaking about Elvis and your posts are so eloquently written. What do you want the world to Elvis? (22:05)

Going back to your experience, how are you today? (24:40)

Do you want to tell me a bit more about what you do now in your career? (27:05)

How can anyone who is listening who has a friend or going though something similar support someone who is grieving? (30:55)

How does mindfulness help your grieving journey? (33:30)

Where can any of our listeners go to find out more about your courses and what you do? (36:35)

What does motherhood mean to you? (37:30)

What advice do you have for anyone grieving after baby loss (39:15)

Today we speak to Katy Huyerman from @Slumbertots on Instagram, to speak about all her top tips and also your questions on all things sleep. Katy is a certified baby and child sleep consultant.

Eve: Today we are talking to Katy from Slumber Tots from Instagram who is a certified baby and child sleep consultant. As well as sharing her top tips today she will be answering your questions we asked over on our Instagram last week.

Katy: I run Slumber Tots and I work with children from newborn up to 5 years old and help families to get more sleep. I am also a mum of two, Kian is 7 and Lily is 5 and I became a sleep consultant following my struggles with sleep deprivation when Kian was a baby.

Eve: So, you mentioned you’re a sleep consultant, how do become one and the journey of it? (0:55)

Katy: For a lot of people, it begins with their own sleep struggles and this was definitely the case for me. When Kian was born, he was quite a disturbed sleeper and things didn’t improve when he got older. I found myself not being the mum I wanted to be due to sleep deprivation, so I was exhausted all the time and I didn’t really know where to start and what to do to improve things. My sister recommended a sleep consultant and so we contacted her and after 3 nights Kian slept the night through for the first time in 8 months. That taught me that sleep isn’t something we should endure just because we are parents. So, because it was so life changing for us in 2016, I decided to train as a consultant myself. Since then, I have worked with nearly 500 families.

Eve: That’s amazing, what were you doing before you were a sleep consultant (2:25)

Katy: I was a bank manager and then I was a civil servant so I worked in central government.

Eve: Oh, wow so it was quite a big career change for you then! How common are sleep problems and what are the main causes of babies or toddlers not sleeping? (2:35)

Katy: The main reasons for babies and toddlers not sleeping are usually down to a handful of reasons, which are the structure to their daytime. You need to get the balance of a daytime sleep and also awake time. The right sleep environment and also how they are falling asleep, which can be one of the tricker elements to change. Babies sleep cycles are only around 45 minutes and when they come to the end of this sleep cycle they will wake up. If they used something external to get them to sleep such as rocking, feeding or a dummy, and it’s not there when they come to the end of that cycle, they will struggle to get to sleep and this is when they cry. Some babies may be able to sleep through several sleep cycles or some may wake up after everyone, it varies baby to baby.

Eve: What would you say your top 3 tips are for an easy night’s sleep? (04:15)

Katy: One of the simplest things you can do is using light and dark to your advantage, so going outside during the day in natural light is good for adults and babies, this can help to regulate your circadian rhythm. This will help you sleep better at night. Equally, with darkness, this helps to build melatonin at bedtime. This is a sleepy hormone. So, if you take your baby into a dim light room this can help them get ready for sleep. Also introducing a nice wind down routine whether that’s for naps or bedtime which can help your baby know what’s coming next. The same steps in the same order every day can help.

Eve: I guess this varies on age from newborn to toddler? (05:50)

Katy: As babies and children get older, newborns can manage 45 minutes to an hour awake. Then toddlers can manager 5-6 hours if they are still having a nap.

Eve: That’s some really great top tips thank you. We asked our audience some questions, so I will read these out now. Our first one is – when do you cut out white noise, I’ve got a 19-month-old and we have it on naps and night time. (6:30)

Katy: White noise can be really useful for newborns. It’s the noise of a static on the radio and background noise. It mimics the sound of the womb. The key thing if you are using it is to use it for the duration of the nap or at night, so it is consistent part of the sleep environment. It can be a good time to cut it out when your toddler stops napping as at night there is less noise, and you wouldn’t need it as much. It is a case of gradually turning it down every few days so they get less used to it

Eve: Our next question is how you manage two kids sleeping in the same bedroom. She has a newborn and a 3-year-old. (08:00)

Katy: If you can have both children sleeping well before they move into the same room this can help so they don’t disturb each other. If you have a newborn I would try to keep them in your room, it is quite common that they will need a feed overnight. The recommendation is to keep a newborn in your room until they are 6 months old.

Eve: Our next question is how do you get a baby to settle in their cot and not on you? (08:48)

Katy: Having a nice dark room for your baby for naptime and bedtime, putting them down when it is the right time, having a nice wind down routine to queue sleep. Having a sleep sac can also help. Practicing it and putting the baby down into the cot will let them know what will happen next.

Eve: The next question is my 15-month-old is transitioning to 1 nap and is really struggling and is overtired (10:25)

Katy: This is common with nap transitions and it will take 4-6 weeks to fully adjust to 1 nap. I would recommend moving bedtime a bit earlier so you avoid baby coming overtired and this can help in the short term. You could also try take them out in the car or the buggy for a quick 20-30-minute nap to take the edge off to keep them going through to naptime.

Eve: The next question is my daughter is 26 months old and stopped sleeping through the night, although she has slept for 12 hours plus since she was 7 weeks old. I am now 36 weeks pregnant, will this stop or will it get worse. (11:57)

Katy: Often sleep disturbances can be caused from sleep development. Around this age It can be linked to language development. If you can stay consistent with what you were doing before it should calm down in a week or two. I would try not to try anything new. You might also need to try increase wake time or cap their nap. When siblings come along it can be up and down but if its developmental it should calm down.

Eve: Do you find that when doing sleep consultancy, many kids have disrupted sleep when siblings come along? (13:30)

Katy: It can be the case as its dealing with change so it’s something different. There can be disturbances with naptime and bedtime. The baby crying can also affect the baby’s sleep.

Eve: The final scenario we have is he keeps waking at 5:30am with no need of food. What are your tips? (14:20)

Katy: There can be a few factors with early wakeups, with spring summer now, I would try make the room completely dark, so they don’t respond to light. I would also look at where the bedtime is, maybe moving it a bit earlier as early wakeups can be due to overtiredness. It can be a bit of trial and error.

Eve: Thank you so much for answering all of those questions. I think that will be really useful to people listening. What is your main mantra you live your life by and why? (16:30)

Katy: From my work I’ve learnt not to compare myself other people and other parents. Its really a work in progress but hard when you’re especially a new parent and you compare yourselves.