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Sonia continues part three of her story by showing us that sometimes your best laid plans can still get you in trouble. She also delves a little into her personal experience of the added layer for the struggling Black child. She then shares practical self care tips that one can practice with little or no money and even when experiencing the impact of domestic violence. 

Sonia’s promotion of self care for mothers aligns with Dr. Laura Markham, Clinical Psychologist and Founder of Aha! Parenting’s words - your most valuable parenting skill is learning to manage yourself first. 

References in this episode

Mother to the Rescue: Sonia tells us how she saved her son from the addiction triggered by emotional abuse Part one of Sonia’s story

From Full Time to Odd Jobs: Sonia Navigates the mental health and substance abuse system to get help for her son Part two of Sonia’s story

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From a full time job to odd jobs, Sonia had to choose because helping her struggling son without the help of their father became her full time endeavour.

Faced with the formidable duo of mental health and substance use challenges, Sonia shares how her sacrifice paid off.

As Meryl Streep said, motherhood reduces everything to essentials. 

References in this episode

Mother to the Rescue: Sonia tells us how she saved her son from the addiction triggered by emotional abuse Part one of Sonia’s story

Please DM me on Instagram or Facebook @judithobatusa to let me know what you thought of this episode.

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Separation is not the end-all and be-all when it comes to domestic violence because in many cases, the impact of the abuse comes along on your journey to freedom. When children are involved, the impact can unfold very slowly with mega chaos erupting just when you think the storm is over. 

In this three-part story, Sonia shares her experience as a mother navigating the mental health and substance use system to help her teenage son recover from the impact of their father’s emotional abuse. 

Sonia’s journey captures the essence of this quote by Barbara Kingsolver, American novelist, essayist and poet - Sometimes the strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws.

References in this episode

Christian Men Who Hate Women: Healing Hurting Relationships by Margaret J. Rinck

The brain-changing benefits of exercise Wendy Suzuki, TEDWomen 2017

Please DM me on Instagram or Facebook @judithobatusa to let me know what you thought of this episode.

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Can a parent decide to harm their child and their future deliberately? Many of Us will say “No” but what if by what you are doing or allowing others do to you, you are harming your child?

JKO answers three questions about attachment disorders that give us additional information about their impact on our children and hope that treatment can help them live a happy and healthy life. 

References in this episode

Abducted as a Teen: Jessica’s Journey from Trauma

Losing Your Child's Heart: A Steep Price of Domestic Violence

Attachment disorder in adults: What is it?

Attachment Disorders

Reactive attachment disorder

Attachment Disorders in Children: Causes, Symptoms, and Treatment

Overcoming Attachment Issues as a Young Adult

DSM: Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders

Little Eyes, Little Ears: How Violence Against a Mother Shapes Children as They Grow 

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If Messy Can’t Stop Her blesses or inspires you, please consider supporting it at supportmessycantstopher.buzzsprout.com. Thank you for being part of this journey.

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Whether a medical doctor, army veteran or a stay-at-home mom, domestic violence has no status limitation. Whether emotionally abused, heartbroken, traumatized or gaslighted, your life can still be a beautiful story. DrAhne, continues her story of finding purpose from the pain of a marriage tainted with alcoholism and narcissism.

If you’re living in pain and asking “why me?”, be inspired by DrAhne’s story. Your pain will not be a waste. There is hope for your brighter future.

References in this episode

Christian Men who Hate Women: Healing Hurting Relationships by Dr. Margaret J. Rinck

Trauma Recovery Journal by Trudy Gilbert-Eliot PhD LMFT LCADC

Website https://www.drahne.com/about

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/dr_ahne/

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We hear the question “Why didn’t she leave?” so many times when discussing domestic violence. 

Dr. Anne Burnley (DrAhne), physician and US Army combat veteran left. She tells us how she was able to overcome the fears and doubts and take that step. In this first part of her story, DrAhne shares how love empowered her to leave a marriage that had literally taken her voice and become hell on earth. She embarked on the healing journey that gave her back her voice and turned her “why me?” into her purpose.

DrAhne’s story inspires us to know that our pain counts for something and that we can find our purpose for being, in the pain we’ve experienced.

DrAhne continues her story in the next episode of Messy Can’t Stop Her.

References in this episode

The Undefeated Mind by Alex Lickerman, MD

Beyond Trauma: A Healing Journey for Women by Stephanie Covington

Website https://www.drahne.com/about

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/dr_ahne/

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I started podcasting and I learned as I went. And the more I got into podcasting, I realized that if I had certain information before I started, it would have made my life so much easier. There are tips, tricks, and teachings that can help you succeed faster. That is what The Podcast Creator Course starting from June 20th is all about. If you're interested in hosting a podcast, this is your opportunity to enter it well prepared. 

The course is being facilitated by two excellent and experienced podcasters – John Chao, host of Perspective Maintenance and Sandi McKenna, host of Unforgettable Conversations. 

Click on The Podcast Creator Course link above to get the details and sign up for this amazing opportunity!

Support the show

If Messy Can’t Stop Her blesses or inspires you, please consider supporting it at supportmessycantstopher.buzzsprout.com. Thank you for being part of this journey.

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I am tired but I had to show up. I am tired from the lingering effects of domestic violence. I am tired from the pain. Am reaching out to ask for your prayers.

I also share about an amazing opportunity to learn all about podcasting and the opportunity to make your dreams come true.

References in this episode

The John Collective’s Podcast Creator Course

John Chao’s Perspective Maintenance Podcast available on Apple, Spotify and other podcast platforms

Sandi Mckenna’s Unforgettable Conversations Podcast available on multiple podcast platforms

Register for the Podcast Course Creator - Meet and Greet taking place on Monday, June 13 

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Trigger Warning: SI, mention of su*c*de
Have you ever felt unworthy about stepping up to share? Have you ever been made to feel unworthy by others? You are not alone. It may be the harsh reality of the life that we live but it can also be a battle that we win if we push through those thoughts. Indeed, it is a mental health battle.

JKO takes a step back in this episode to share her struggles with unworthiness and her mental health journey with anxiety and depression.

References in this episode

Irene Moore Davis 

I would love to know what you thought of this episode. Please DM me on Instagram or Facebook @judithobatusa to let me know.

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If Messy Can’t Stop Her blesses or inspires you, please consider supporting it at supportmessycantstopher.buzzsprout.com. Thank you for being part of this journey.

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99% of domestic violence cases involve financial abuse and this invisiblized part of domestic violence can last years, decades or even a lifetime.

Tracey (Pseudonym), a domestic violence survivor shares her experience of acute intended poverty and litigation battery and how she came out of the deep hole of debt which she had been manipulated into. Despite her academic and professional experience, Tracey still got blindsided by the subtlety of financial abuse. 

Tracey’s come back from a negative credit and colossal debt is a tale of hope for anyone going through financial abuse or suffering its aftereffects.

If you or anyone you know is in an unhealthy relationship with any type of abuse, please share this episode with them. 

References in this episode

https://messycantstopher.buzzsprout.com/1910300/10522780-most-common-least-believed-emotional-abuse-signs-impact-and-how-to-help

https://www.verywellmind.com/financial-abuse-4155224

https://www.freefrom.org/

Oliver Twist

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If you knew something would harm your child, will you do it? What if it was your spousal relationship? Last week Jessica Faught talked about the steep price she had to pay to rebuild her relationship with her daughter; their relationship had been strained by attachment disorder. Today, Osa Samuel Olagunju, licensed counsellor and psychotherapist unveils how domestic violence induces attachment disorders and how if unaddressed, it creates constant parent-child conflict, behavioral disorders and a plethora of other challenges.

If you or anyone you know is in an unhealthy relationship with any type of abuse, and they have children, please share this episode with them. We all have a role to play in keeping our families and children’s future safe. 

About Osa Samuel Olagunju
Osa is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in the state of New Jersey and a National Certified Counselor (NCC) specializing in Mood Disorders, Anxiety, Women's Issues. For over 15 years, Osa has worked with individuals and groups to address issues like Domestic Abuse, Family Conflict, Grief, Relationship Issues, among others. You can call Osa on (201) 561-7967 or email her to book a free 15 minute consultation.
 

References in this episode

Abducted as a Teen: Jessica’s Journey from Trauma

The startling toll on children who witness domestic violence is just now being understood

The Impact of Witnessing Domestic Violence on Children: A Systematic Review
 

Please DM me on Instagram or Facebook @judithobatusa to let me know what you thought of this episode.

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If Messy Can’t Stop Her blesses or inspires you, please consider supporting it at supportmessycantstopher.buzzsprout.com. Thank you for being part of this journey.

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