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What do we do when our life is not perfect, when relics of our failures and mistakes surround us in our minds or everywhere we look? Do we wait to have it all together before we show up to help? Do we have to become perfect before we pursue our dreams?
 
I know the struggles that some of us face daily with limiting thoughts. I know the desire to hide away until our lives are perfect before doing the things we yearn to do. I know this because I struggle too. In this episode, I share the lessons I’ve learnt from the Bible about waiting for perfection before we live in our purpose. 

The production process of this episode blessed me so much and I pray listening will bless you too. Please leave a review to let me know if it did. 

References in this episode

YOUR PAST DOES NOT MATTER TO GOD: The Story of Tamar https://judithmusing.blogspot.com/2013/02/your-past-does-not-matter-to-god-story.html

CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD: When Your Kinsman Does not Help https://judithmusing.blogspot.com/2018/02/conversations-with-god-when-your.html 

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Annette’s story continues and we see the stereotype of the abuser play out but we also see the resilience of a woman in action. Annette’s story us reminds us that domestic violence can happen to the strongest of us and that learning how to recognize the signs early can make the difference. In part two of her story, Annette shares how coming through the devastation of domestic violence led her to become the owner of Annette’s Driving School.

Nuggets of wisdom in this episode

Give your children a reference for love so that they will be uncomfortable with abuse

Tears don’t always mean repentance or remorse

Strong, accomplished and confident women from loving homes can get into an abusive relationship

Don’t be ashamed to seek help from books, therapists and organizations

Consistency is the bedrock of success

No matter how tiny and insignificant you think the value you're bringing is, just keep going 

No matter how much ashes have been poured on you, if you don’t give up, your light will shine again

References in this episode

From Lover to Loather: Annette Reid tells us how she learnt about abuse from her experience Part one of Annette’s story

Why Does He Do that? Inside the minds of angry and controlling men by Lundy Bancroft

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Cocooned in the love of her father Annette Reid had never known or seen a woman being abused by a man. As an immigrant to the United States, she had seen her fair share of trouble but nothing prepared her for the pain she experienced in the hands of the one who had pursued her relentlessly and pledged to love her for eternity. In part one of her story, Annette tells us his progression from lover to loather and from calling her my precious to my property.

Nuggets of wisdom in this episode

• You can come through a storm without getting devastated
• An abuser will hide his true nature for as long as it takes to get you
• Starting nice doesn’t mean staying nice
• Going to Church doth not a saint make
• If you know what red flags are, you can recognize them when they show up
• Abuse always comes in multiples
• And many more…

References in this episode

Cracked Edges Podcast on Facebook

In Search of Satisfaction by J. California Cooper

Please DM me on Instagram or Facebook @judithobatusa to let me know what you thought of this episode.

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If Messy Can’t Stop Her blesses or inspires you, please consider supporting it at supportmessycantstopher.buzzsprout.com. Thank you for being part of this journey.

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What do you do when you’re hit with two heartrending experiences at the same time? Do you break down or breakthrough? Kit experienced the twin traumas of divorce and the big C diagnosis and made it through. She shares how literally grounding herself on the land healed her heart and her body.

Nuggets of Wisdom in this Episode 

•  What's considered praiseworthy and acceptable is often not reflective of what we're here for and what our gifts are
• What's considered praiseworthy and acceptable is often not reflective of what we're here for and what our gifts are
• By deconstructing the things that tell us we’re not enough or that we’re different from who we are, we step into our whole selves
• You have to do the things that won't leave you alone
• The baby that's waiting to be able to run 100 meters in 80 seconds will never walk. 
• The world needs us like the ocean needs all raindrops to stay the ocean
• Sharing what you've learned makes sense of what you've been through
• And many more….

Please DM me on Instagram or Facebook @judithobatusa to let me know what you thought of this episode.

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If Messy Can’t Stop Her blesses or inspires you, please consider supporting it at supportmessycantstopher.buzzsprout.com. Thank you for being part of this journey.

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Self Care used to sound like just mere words to me. In fact, at a point, those words began to traumatize me. Hearing them made me feel judged and inadequate. I did not think I had the resources – time, money, strength – to afford it. I was afraid to try. Today, with the help of many, including guests on Messy Can’t Stop Her, I now know that it is more about the intention and the steps, no matter how small. 

I’ve learnt that even taking a moment to breathe deeply can make a difference in my life. In this episode, I share what I’ve learnt and how my lack of self care can impact my generations. Sadly, I am not alone in the fears I had. To every one of my sisters in the trenches of life, this is my encouragement to you, please prioritize your self care. Messy won’t stop you.

References in this episode

80% of Women Recognize Value of Self-Nurture, Yet Few Care for Selves as They Care for Others

Self-Nurture: Learning to Care for Yourself As Effectively As You Care for Everyone Else

What Is Self-Care and Why Is It So Important for Your Health?

Can the legacy of trauma be passed down the generations?

Epigenetics and lifestyle

Please DM me on Instagram or Facebook @judithobatusa to let me know what you thought of this episode.

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If Messy Can’t Stop Her blesses or inspires you, please consider supporting it at supportmessycantstopher.buzzsprout.com. Thank you for being part of this journey.

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Sonia continues part three of her story by showing us that sometimes your best laid plans can still get you in trouble. She also delves a little into her personal experience of the added layer for the struggling Black child. She then shares practical self care tips that one can practice with little or no money and even when experiencing the impact of domestic violence. 

Sonia’s promotion of self care for mothers aligns with Dr. Laura Markham, Clinical Psychologist and Founder of Aha! Parenting’s words - your most valuable parenting skill is learning to manage yourself first. 

References in this episode

Mother to the Rescue: Sonia tells us how she saved her son from the addiction triggered by emotional abuse Part one of Sonia’s story

From Full Time to Odd Jobs: Sonia Navigates the mental health and substance abuse system to get help for her son Part two of Sonia’s story

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From a full time job to odd jobs, Sonia had to choose because helping her struggling son without the help of their father became her full time endeavour.

Faced with the formidable duo of mental health and substance use challenges, Sonia shares how her sacrifice paid off.

As Meryl Streep said, motherhood reduces everything to essentials. 

References in this episode

Mother to the Rescue: Sonia tells us how she saved her son from the addiction triggered by emotional abuse Part one of Sonia’s story

Please DM me on Instagram or Facebook @judithobatusa to let me know what you thought of this episode.

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Separation is not the end-all and be-all when it comes to domestic violence because in many cases, the impact of the abuse comes along on your journey to freedom. When children are involved, the impact can unfold very slowly with mega chaos erupting just when you think the storm is over. 

In this three-part story, Sonia shares her experience as a mother navigating the mental health and substance use system to help her teenage son recover from the impact of their father’s emotional abuse. 

Sonia’s journey captures the essence of this quote by Barbara Kingsolver, American novelist, essayist and poet - Sometimes the strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws.

References in this episode

Christian Men Who Hate Women: Healing Hurting Relationships by Margaret J. Rinck

The brain-changing benefits of exercise Wendy Suzuki, TEDWomen 2017

Please DM me on Instagram or Facebook @judithobatusa to let me know what you thought of this episode.

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If Messy Can’t Stop Her blesses or inspires you, please consider supporting it at supportmessycantstopher.buzzsprout.com. Thank you for being part of this journey.

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Can a parent decide to harm their child and their future deliberately? Many of Us will say “No” but what if by what you are doing or allowing others do to you, you are harming your child?

JKO answers three questions about attachment disorders that give us additional information about their impact on our children and hope that treatment can help them live a happy and healthy life. 

References in this episode

Abducted as a Teen: Jessica’s Journey from Trauma

Losing Your Child's Heart: A Steep Price of Domestic Violence

Attachment disorder in adults: What is it?

Attachment Disorders

Reactive attachment disorder

Attachment Disorders in Children: Causes, Symptoms, and Treatment

Overcoming Attachment Issues as a Young Adult

DSM: Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders

Little Eyes, Little Ears: How Violence Against a Mother Shapes Children as They Grow 

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If Messy Can’t Stop Her blesses or inspires you, please consider supporting it at supportmessycantstopher.buzzsprout.com. Thank you for being part of this journey.

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Whether a medical doctor, army veteran or a stay-at-home mom, domestic violence has no status limitation. Whether emotionally abused, heartbroken, traumatized or gaslighted, your life can still be a beautiful story. DrAhne, continues her story of finding purpose from the pain of a marriage tainted with alcoholism and narcissism.

If you’re living in pain and asking “why me?”, be inspired by DrAhne’s story. Your pain will not be a waste. There is hope for your brighter future.

References in this episode

Christian Men who Hate Women: Healing Hurting Relationships by Dr. Margaret J. Rinck

Trauma Recovery Journal by Trudy Gilbert-Eliot PhD LMFT LCADC

Website https://www.drahne.com/about

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/dr_ahne/

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If Messy Can’t Stop Her blesses or inspires you, please consider supporting it at supportmessycantstopher.buzzsprout.com. Thank you for being part of this journey.

If you would love to share your story on the #MessyCantStopHer podcast, click here to let me know.

Thank you so much for listening.

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