Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

"Lying lips are an abomination to the LORD, but those who deal faithfully are His delight." Proverbs 12:22

One of the trickiest parenting situations to deal with is when a child tells a lie. Do you punish them? If you do that, won't they keep lying to avoid punishment in the future? How do you know they are lying? What if you think they are lying, and they are actually telling the truth? In this podcast, we will share with you what we did in our family when we had kids in our household who had a habit of lying. What we've learned is there is not a "one size fits all" approach to this issue, but we can give you some ideas and suggestions as we share our experiences with you.

“You get in the biggest fights with those you care about most because those are the relationships worth fighting for.”

The only person in the world you will always agree with is yourself. Especially in marriage, people are going to disagree and this can lead to heated arguments between two people who really and truly love each other. This is normal and healthy! We have to fight to work out our differences and come to greater unity in our marriage. The goal of an argument should not be being right, but being unified. Even if you end up still disagreeing, arguments should lead to greater clarity and understanding. In this podcast, we talk about why to argue, principles for good arguments, and some basic ground rules.

“A happy marriage is a union of two forgivers” – Ruth Bell Graham

"A happy marriage is a union of two forgivers" - Ruth Bell Graham

The only person in the world you will always agree with is yourself. Especially in marriage, people are going to disagree and this can lead to heated arguments between two people who really love each other. This is normal and healthy! We have to fight to work out our differences and come to a greater unity in our marriage. The goal of an argument should not be to be right, but to be unified. Even if you disagree, arguments should lead to greater clarity and understanding. In this podcast, we talk about why to argue, principles for good arguing, and some basic ground rules.

“For unflagging interest and enjoyment, a household of children, if things go reasonably well, certainly makes all other forms of success and achievement lose their importance by comparison.”

– Teddy Roosevelt

Being blessed with a large family is what some couples long for and something that some couples don’t even expect! Having ten children, we have a pretty realistic perspective on having more than five kids (which seems medium-sized to us!) There are considerations to being open to having more kids that are deeper than “why not?” There are challenges that parents need to think about because we are co-creators with God. That is not a responsibility to be taken lightly! We know many people who have had an amazing experience growing up in a big family, but there are some people who were deeply scarred because their parents weren’t ready for what was coming. Parents can never forget that they have a responsibility to not just give life, but also educate that life as well. We would like to share our experience with you to encourage you to be intentional about planning for what lies ahead if God blesses you with a bunch of kids!

Show Notes:

* Familiaris Consortio #28 (or buy it at Amazon)

* Pope Francis’s address to Family Associations (Feast of the Holy Family 2014)

* Dad is Fat by Jim Gaffigan

* Information on NFP from the USCCB

* Information on NFP from the Couple to Couple League

 

“I guess the reasons against having more children always seemed uninspiring and superficial. What exactly am I missing out on? Money? A few more hours of sleep? A more peaceful meal? More hair? These are nothing compared to what I get from these five monsters who rule my life … each one of them has been a pump of light into my shriveled black heart.”

– Jim Gaffigan

"For unflagging interest and enjoyment, a household of children, if things go reasonably well, certainly makes all other forms of success and achievement lose their importance by comparison."

- Teddy Roosevelt

Being blessed with a large family is what some couples long for and something that some couples don't even expect! Having ten children, we have a pretty realistic perspective on having more than five kids (which seems medium-sized to us!) There are considerations to being open to having more kids that are deeper than "why not?" There are challenges that parents need to think about because we are co-creators with God. That is not a responsibility to be taken lightly! We know many people who have had an amazing experience growing up in a big family, but there are some people who were deeply scarred because their parents weren't ready for what was coming. Parents can never forget that they have a responsibility to not just give life, but also educate that life as well. We would like to share our experience with you to encourage you to be intentional about planning for what lies ahead if God blesses you with a bunch of kids!

Show Notes:

• Familiaris Consortio #28 (or buy it at Amazon)
• Pope Francis's address to Family Associations (Feast of the Holy Family 2014)
• Dad is Fat by Jim Gaffigan
• Information on NFP from the USCCB
• Information on NFP from the Couple to Couple League

"I guess the reasons against having more children always seemed uninspiring and superficial. What exactly am I missing out on? Money? A few more hours of sleep? A more peaceful meal? More hair? These are nothing compared to what I get from these five monsters who rule my life … each one of them has been a pump of light into my shriveled black heart." - Jim Gaffigan

“The family that prays together, stays together.” – Fr. Patrick Peyton

Family prayer should be the center of our lives as Catholics, but often parents find it challenging. Praying consistently with our kids is not our family’s strength, so of course, that’s why we wanted to address it! You need to find a type of prayer that works for your family and don’t worry about how “well” you all pray. The Lord just wants to hear from you–daily!–and your children need to see your example (especially they need to see you dads!). Our entire lives need to be submitted to the Lord, knowing that all we have is from Him.

Show Notes:  Here are some of the books and Church documents we referenced.

* Devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus

* 33 Days to Morning Glory

* Jesus Christ, The Holy One of God by Father Cantalamessa 

* The Role of the Christian Family in the Modern World: Familiaris Consortio

Family prayer should be the center of our lives as Catholics, but often parents find it challenging. Praying consistently with our kids is not our strength, so of course that's why we wanted to address it! You need to find a type of prayer that works for you, and don't worry about how "well" you pray. The Lord just wants to hear from you and your children need to see your example (especially you dads!). Our entire lives need to be submitted to the Lord, knowing that all we have is from Him.

Show notes and links available at http://www.messyparenting.org or http://www.facebook.com/MessyParenting/

You want to know what it's like having a fourth kid? Imagine you are drowning and then someone hands you a baby. ~Jim Gaffigan

We believe the most challenging years of parenting are not related to how many kids you have, but rather how close in age they are. Young families say to us all the time, "We shouldn't complain because we only have three kids and you have ten." This is not true! The period of time when your family consists of kids who are all in car seats, can't tie their own shoes, and are barely potty trained is an extremely difficult time. Be encouraged! This is a phase that doesn't last forever (though it feels like an eternity at the time). Just think- if you can survive this, you can survive anything!

Dad is Fat by Jim Gaffigan

5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman

“You want to know what it’s like having a fourth kid? Imagine you’re drowning, and then someone hands you a baby.” ~ Jim Gaffigan

We believe the most challenging years of parenting are not related to how many kids you have, but rather how close in age they are. Young families say to us all the time, ”We shouldn’t complain, because we only have three kids and you have ten.” This is not true! The period of time when your family consists of kids who are all in car seats, can’t tie their own shoes, and are barely potty trained is an extremely difficult time. Be encouraged! This is a phase that doesn’t last forever (though it might feel like an eternity at the time). Just remember: if you can survive this, you can survive anything!

Show Notes: books mentioned in this episode:

* Dad is Fat by Jim Gaffigan

* The 5 Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman

“Do you know why God asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac when he was 12? Because if he asked him when Isaac was 14, it wouldn’t have been a sacrifice!”

The changes that happen in adolescence – physically, emotionally, and mentally – are very similar to the changes that happen during the toddler years. In both stages, your child is developing in leaps and bounds, and you are the one God has tasked to guide them. In this podcast, we share what we have done with our children to create rites of passage, give information when they need it, and help them solidify their gender identity. This is a crucial time in the lives of our children, and it’s important to be intentional and have a plan of how you are going to help them and love them during this time. This is geared especially for parents with kids in the “tween” and early teen years of 11-14 years old. Note: you might want to listen to this one with earbuds.

We discuss these resources in our podcast today:

* Why Gender Matters

* Preparing for Adolescence

* Wild at Heart

* Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters

* Bringing up Boys

* Passport 2 Purity (from a listener)

If you have gone down this road before, what has helped you? Do you have any resources you would recommend?