We've dipped our toes in the shower wad of hair metal a bit much lately so we figured we'd go a little harder in the paint. With everyone's favorite bemasked singing spectacle, King Diamond and Mercyful Fate. Let's GO.

Who wouldn't want to meet the dashing, cool, and handsome singer of one of the 80's greatest bands?

C'mon it's MIKE TRAMP. Still cooking. Still playing.

STILL HAWT so hide your girls hide your wives

Don't you miss those Friday evenings with the kids? Gathered around on the shag carpet drinking soda and having chips while we pick our pieces and gather for a night of fun and festivities with our favorite people?

It was awful. Pretty sneaky sis.

Authors schmauthors, who needs them and all their fancy words and glossy pages, AMIRITE? maybe. Hair metal may be perjorative but we're not under oath so here we go. Come and snort some Aqua Net and Stiff Stuff and have at it.

Did you know there were so many documentaries about rock and metal? Real ones, fake ones, big ones, small ones, perky and floppy, more or less than a handful. A lot. We talk about some of them.

The 3-Legged Stool returns and we are soaking in our own filth and the songs of TESLA. Hardin has the sniffles and David has the runs trying to escape those guitar riffing madmen from Stockton. Try to keep up.