“The two great commandments name the three loves – loving God, loving neighbor, and loving yourself. All three loves are necessary and central to our Faith.  All three.” - Dr. Peter Malinowski

 

Summary

How can I learn to truly love my family?  The reality is that the degree to which you love yourself will be the maximum that you can love your family.  Ordered self-love is not an optional thing – it’s essential.  This is especially true for spouses and parents because their love is tied intimately to the full flourishing of others, namely, their children!  We are made in God’s image and likeness, which means that, like the Trinity, we are constantly in relationship with others and even with ourselves.  Learning to love ourselves directly affects how well we can love others.  Listen in for advice from Dr. Peter Malinowski, Catholic psychologist and teacher in the field of therapy using Internal Family Systems.  This podcast is essential to learn how to love your spouse and children well, by first learning to love yourself.  

 

Key Takeaways

• We are made in the image and likeness of God, which means that like the Trinity, we have the capacity for relationship within ourselves.

• The primary human relationship that we have is with ourselves, then others. 

• 90% of conflicts with your spouse are a reaction to unresolved issues from the past, not what is happening in the present.  

• The “innermost self” is the core of the person, who we really are.  Our “parts” are small personalities inside of us who battle within us. 

 

Couple Discussion Questions

• How can you begin to see each other the way that God sees you? 

• Think about a conflict you had recently.  Ask your spouse, “Tell be about why you felt the way you did.” and be open to learning more. 

 

Resources

• To find a therapist:  www.soulsandhearts.com/therapists

• Interior Integration for Catholics podcast:  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/interior-integration-for-catholics/id1503898046

• Epidode 157 to 159 for an overview of IFS

To learn more: https://www.soulsandhearts.com/