My guest today is Jake Fishbein, co-author of The Men's Group, a novel of messy friendships. He shares insights on the transformative power of men's groups, myth, and vulnerability. Discover how storytelling, archetypes like the Minotaur, and shared experiences facilitate growth and connection for men seeking deeper authenticity.

In this episode:

How Jake's ten-year journey of co-writing The Men's Group shaped its narrative and themes

The role of myth, specifically the story of Theseus and the Minotaur, in understanding disempowering narratives

Practical insights into co-facilitating men's groups and creating safe, accountable spaces

The importance of storytelling and emotional honesty in developing meaningful friendships

Strategies for initiating deeper conversations beyond surface-level sports talk

The significance of ongoing community support and retreats for men's growth

How mythology offers timeless lessons on vulnerability, ego, and self-awareness

Reflections on the internal journey from childhood passions to adult purpose, as seen through the lens of Jungian archetypes

Jake’s advice for navigating group dynamics, vetting new members, and handling disruptive behaviors

Timestamps:

00:00 – Introducing The Men's Group and Jake Fishbein's journey

02:00 – Building the narrative: from principles to characters

05:00 – Mythical archetypes: the Minotaur as a disempowering story

08:30 – Co-authoring a decade-long project: collaboration and evolution

12:00 – Jake’s personal evolution from Greek mythology to men’s work

15:00 – The role of storytelling in shaping identity and healing shame

20:00 – Facilitating men's groups: co-facilitation, group size, and dynamics

25:00 – Balancing vulnerability and accountability in virtual groups

30:00 – Using myth and storytelling to explore internal shadows

35:00 – Creative homework: sharing desires and deepening relationships

40:00 – Common challenges in men's groups: disruptive members and vetting

45:00 – Maintaining group health: offline conversations and exit strategies

50:00 – Growing connection: conversation starters beyond sports

55:00 – The importance of vulnerability and honest feedback in friendships

60:00 – Resources and ways to connect with Jake Fishbein

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Substack: The Hungry Reader

Join us for an insightful conversation with Chris Engasser as he shares his profound experiences from serving in Afghanistan. Chris delves into the realities of military life, discussing the challenges faced on the ground and the camaraderie among soldiers. He opens up about the mental health struggles that often accompany veterans upon returning home and the difficult transition to civilian life. Throughout the episode, Chris reflects on the cultural differences encountered in Afghanistan and the impact of these experiences on his worldview. He candidly discusses the importance of mental health support and the role of community in healing and reintegration. Listeners will gain a deeper understanding of the sacrifices made by service members and the ongoing journey of finding purpose and connection after military service. This episode is a must-listen for anyone interested in the personal stories behind military service and the resilience required to navigate life after the uniform.

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Can we truly find strength in the parts of ourselves we’ve spent a lifetime trying to hide?

Welcome back to the show. Today, I’m sitting down with someone who has become a mentor and a guide for many men—including myself. Connor Beaton is the founder of Man Talks and the author of the powerful book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide to Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, and Find Freedom. In this episode, we pull back the curtain on the "unspoken" side of the male experience. We explore why so many of us feel like we’re walking through life with cement blocks on our feet—carrying the weight of childhood hurt, career failures, and relational dysfunction—all while pretending we’ve got it under control. 

Key themes we discuss include:

• Alchemy of Suffering: How avoiding pain doesn't make you stronger; it makes you fragile. True strength comes from moving toward your suffering and learning to alchemize it into meaning.
• The Powerlessness Journey: Why a man who hasn't experienced a journey of powerlessness will often grow up to abuse power.
• Pseudo-Initiations: In the absence of traditional rites of passage, many modern men unconsciously "nuke" their lives—sabotaging jobs or marriages—just to see if they can survive the wreckage.
• The Shadow & The Ego: Understanding that your ego is simply a collection of predictable patterns. Changing your identity requires questioning these patterns and making the "unconscious conscious."

We also tackle a question I get constantly from women: How do I help the man I love without mothering him? Connor offers a perspective that is "jet fuel" for men. Instead of offering ultimatums or diagnosis, he explains how women are often a "permission card holder."

Finally, we discuss the transition from the Logos (rational, black-and-white thought) to the Direct felt experience. Most men live from the neck up, but true emotional sovereignty lives in the body. We talk about how to bridge that gap and why it’s essential for high-performance—whether you're a father or a Wall Street trader.

Takeaways for the "Work":

1. Confession is the first step: Admitting the dysfunction or pain you are carrying is the only way to stop it from directing your life.
2. Weakness isn't the enemy: In war and in psychology, ignoring your weaknesses is a surefire way to get "flanked."
3. Pattern Recognition: Your identity is just a mass of behavioral patterns. If they aren't serving you, you have the power to consciously choose new ones.

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00:00 Introduction to Men's Work and Pain

07:07 The Role of Pain in Masculinity

10:55 Navigating Midlife Transitions

19:40 The Importance of Confession and Vulnerability

23:31Supporting Men in Their Journey

30:29 Connecting Mind and Body Through Breath

39:3 7 The Energy of Emotions

42:06 The Impact of Touch on Boys

44:57 Understanding Emotional Intensity in Boys

49:56 Generational Trauma and Emotional Resilience

52:58 The Tyler Durden Complex

58:59 The Collapse of the Archetypal Father

01:04:43 Navigating Modern Relationships

01:10:00 Emotional Labor and Connection

01:10:25 The Importance of Male Connection

01:11:12 Navigating Relationships and Boundaries

01:12:11 Embracing the Villain Archetype

01:16:58 Facing Hidden Aspects of Self

01:20:02 Understanding Grief and Moving Forward

01:24:40 Rebuilding Trust After Trauma

01:30:39 Choosing to Grieve

01:33:09 Overcoming Negative Patterns as a Parent

01:37:47 Managing Expectations and Disappointments

The Grounded Warrior is back! Miles and Phil Horning explore the significance of living by a personal code, emphasizing the importance of values, presence, and vulnerability in building meaningful connections. They discuss the concept of containerization and how it can hinder emotional expression, as well as the necessity of healthy boundaries to protect one's sovereignty. The dialogue also delves into the journey of finding purpose and values, the role of discipline in creating rituals, and the importance of walking a path with vision for personal growth. In this conversation, Miles and Phil explore the themes of materialism, gratitude, community, vulnerability, and the importance of deepening connections in relationships. They discuss the challenges men face in expressing vulnerability and the need for authentic connections. The conversation also delves into the significance of service and responsibility in building community, as well as the transformative power of rituals in processing grief and deepening the soul.

00:00 Living by a Personal Code

02:41 The Importance of Contact and Presence

09:36 Establishing Healthy Boundaries

16:07 Sovereignty and Self-Leadership

28:01 Courage from Integrity

30:38 Establishing Personal Codes and Boundaries

33:04 Discipline and Ritual in Daily Life

42:03 Walking a Path with Vision

58:09 Serving from Responsibility

01:06:13 Deepening the Soul

01:08:10 Exploring the Concept of Soul

01:11:07 Navigating Grief and Darkness

01:13:25 Finding Gifts in Grief

01:19:05 Rituals of Grief and Transformation

01:20:18 The Minnesota Men's Conference Experience

01:28:45 The Power of Community and Connection

01:34:34 Embracing Rituals in Modern Life

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In this episode of the Miles Ahead Podcast, host Miles speaks with Roxanne Turner, a neurodiversity specialist and equine coach. They explore Roxanne's journey from professional equestrian to coaching, the therapeutic benefits of working with horses, and the complexities of ADHD and other neurodivergent conditions. The conversation delves into the impact of technology on mental health, the challenges of parenting in the digital age, and the importance of patience and understanding in both coaching and personal development. Roxanne shares insights on how equine therapy can build confidence and emotional regulation, making it a powerful tool for individuals with neurodivergent diagnoses. In this conversation, Miles and Roxanne Turner explore the complexities of ADHD and neurodiversity, discussing emotional regulation, coping strategies, and the importance of self-compassion. They delve into the challenges faced by neurodivergent individuals, particularly in educational settings, and emphasize the need for supportive environments. The discussion also highlights the significance of recognizing triggers, managing procrastination, and fostering curiosity as essential components of personal growth and development. 

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00:00 Introduction to Roxanne Turner and Her Journey

02:52 Transitioning from Equestrian to Coaching

05:51 Understanding Neurodiversity and ADHD

08:57 The Intersection of ADHD and Anxiety

11:56 Coaching Strategies for Different Age Groups

14:57 The Impact of Technology on Mental Health

17:55 Parenting in the Digital Age

20:55 The Therapeutic Benefits of Working with Horses

26:11 Meeting People Where They Are

27:33 Normalizing Fear and Building Confidence

30:34 The Dance of Coaching and Therapy

33:13 The Power of Patience and Presence

35:15 Experiential Learning with Horses

38:48 Healing Through Connection with Horses

42:11 The Journey of Learning and Growth

44:43 Communication Styles in Relationships

49:11 Trusting the Process of Growth

50:48 Building Confidence in Neurodivergent Individuals

52:25 Understanding Projection Sensitivity and Feedback

53:5Coping Strategies for Emotional Reactions

56:29 Recognizing Triggers and Building Awareness

59:00 The Spectrum of Sensitivity in Neurodivergence

01:01:17 The Role of Environment in ADHD Management

01:03:15 Transitioning from School to Home Life

01:05:06 The Importance of Unstructured Play

01:07:16 Organizational Strategies for ADHD

01:10:03 Creating Supportive Living Environments

01:14:44 Navigating Working Memory Challenges

01:18:15 Harnessing Strengths in Neurodivergent Individuals

01:19:14 Understanding Student Motivation and Learning Styles

01:25:32 Procrastination and Overwhelm in Neurodivergent Minds

01:39:52 Self-Compassion and Support in ADHD Journeys

Josh is back on the podcast again, and we bring on our friend, Dave Smith, who is a well traveled and well read historian, and all around renaissance man. These two decided it would be fun to go against the state department's travel advisory and go into an active war zone. For Josh, this isn't new, except this time he had to pay for it vs being paid. For Dave, this also wasn't his first rodeo.

We get into what they both saw firsthand prior to the recent cease fire deal, and what is different than the news outlets report vs what they experienced. What they thought of the culture, and the nuance upon nuance of a very complicated history, and the things that surprised them and left them in awe. Dave and josh also give their two cents on what could be done going forward to help peace last. We also get into the existential psychology of the human condition and other fascinating topics. Enjoy!

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In this conversation, my guest, Mike Ljubsa, shares his transformative journey from Canada to Jamaica, where he now runs Mycomeditations, a psilocybin-assisted therapy retreat. He discusses the profound impact of psychedelics on mental health, emphasizing the importance of integration and the therapeutic use of psilocybin. Mike also highlights the significance of men's work in creating safe spaces for vulnerability and healing. The conversation delves into the science behind psychedelics, their potential for neuroplasticity, and the future of psychedelic therapy as a means of fostering personal growth and balance.

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00:00 Introduction to Mike Ljubsa and His Journey

02:56 The Impact of Upbringing on Mental Health

05:43 Discovering Psychedelics: A Personal Journey

08:56 The Duality of Psychedelic Experiences

11:44 Understanding Trauma and Healing

15:01 The Role of Psychedelics in Therapy

17:50 Navigating OCD and Personal Struggles

20:57 Exploring Therapeutic Psychedelic Sessions

28:53 Conversational MDMA Therapy

32:38 Revisiting Grief and Loss

35:28 The Power of Feeling to Heal

39:18 Exploring Different Psychedelics

43:38 Comparing Psychedelic Experiences

49:26 Inner Child Work and Healing

54:16 Neuroscience of Psychedelics and Healing

56:46 The Power of Psychedelics in Performance

58:53 Psychedelics and Problem Solving

01:00:50 Healing Trauma and Personal Growth

01:05:47 Psychedelic Therapy Retreats: A New Approach

01:11:50 Integration and Therapeutic Practices

01:17:45 Safety and Screening in Psychedelic Use

01:19:54 Men's Work and Vulnerability

In this conversation, Traver Boehm discusses the importance of creating dedicated spaces for men to engage in open conversations about their experiences and challenges. He shares insights from his own journey through darkness retreats with a discussion on what occurs in this type of retreat, emphasizing the profound personal growth that can occur when one confronts their ego and past traumas. The discussion highlights the significance of community support, the integration of experiences, and the role of humor in coping with grief and pain. Ultimately, Traver encourages men to embrace vulnerability as a strength and to find meaning in their struggles. In this conversation, Traver and Miles explore the profound themes of caregiving, presence, self-betrayal, and the heroic effort required to live authentically. They discuss the importance of being present with those who are suffering, the necessity of breaking the cycle of self-betrayal, and the courage it takes to surrender to life's challenges. The dialogue emphasizes the significance of building a relationship with oneself and the power of conscious self-dialogue in fostering personal growth and emotional intelligence.

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00:00 Introduction and Context of the Conversation

02:58 The Importance of Men's Spaces

05:41 Darkness Retreats: The Journey Begins

08:55 The Challenges of Extended Darkness Retreats

11:41 Experiences and Insights from the Darkness

14:58 The Role of Ego and Surrender

17:44 Integration and Post-Retreat Reflections

37:28 Transforming Pain into Purpose

39:09 Exploring the Depths of the Soul

41:51 The Struggles of Men and the Path to Healing

45:30 Finding Meaning in Rock Bottom

47:58 The Absurdity of Life's Challenges

50:32 Grief, Humor, and the Human Experience

52:40 Lessons from Hospice Care

55:48 The Heroic Effort of Self-Discovery

01:05:43 The Price of Entry for Transformation

01:09:14 Finding Authenticity in the Dark

01:11:44 The Courage to Surrender

01:13:51 Dialoguing with Darkness

01:17:09 Returning to Self

01:20:23 Building a Relationship with Yourself

01:23:52 Creating a Supportive Environment

Miles, Josh, and Frank discuss the complexities of military life, focusing on the challenges of burnout, mental health, and the transition to civilian life. They explore the importance of community and support systems for veterans, the impact of deployment lengths, and the need for effective transition programs. The discussion also highlights the role of chaplains and the significance of open conversations about mental health within the military culture. In this conversation, veterans share their experiences transitioning to civilian life, the importance of community, and the healing power of storytelling. They discuss the challenges of navigating relationships and mental health after service, emphasizing the need for safe spaces where veterans can share their stories without judgment. The discussion also highlights the role of humor and camaraderie in coping with the struggles of post-military life, as well as the connections formed through shared experiences in jiu-jitsu and other activities.

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00:00 Introduction to Military Experiences

02:51 Burnout and Deployment Challenges

06:00 Transitioning from Military to Civilian Life

08:52 Training and Tactical Instruction

11:54 Current Career and Technology Sales

14:50 Deployment Schedules and Historical Lessons

24:24 The Impact of Deployment on Families

31:31 Mental Health Challenges in the Military

38:38 The Importance of Community and Support

45:12 Transitioning from Military to Civilian Life

54:45 Creating Safe Spaces for Veterans

57:31 The Importance of Sharing Stories

01:00:42 Navigating Relationships Post-Military

01:04:4 1The Alien Experience of Veterans

01:09:46 Finding Community in Jiu-Jitsu

01:20:17 The Balance of Peace and Violence

01:20:51 The Duality of Violence and Peace

01:23:15 Evolution of Military Training and Selection

01:27:49 The Journey of Becoming a Pararescue Jumper

01:30:48 Reflections on Military Service and Personal Growth

01:36:17 The Importance of Sharing Stories

01:40:07 Building Community and Connection Among Veterans

In this conversation, Miles and Karden explore the intricate relationship between the body, nervous system, and emotional health, awareness and agency in managing one's autonomic nervous system, the impact of childhood experiences on adult behavior, and the necessity of emotional tools for navigating discomfort. The dialogue emphasizes the allostatic load and its effects on health, the significance of inner child work, and the intersection of psychology and body awareness in achieving holistic wellness. In this conversation, Karden and Miles explore the themes of masculinity, inner child work, and the importance of men's initiation. They discuss the significance of vulnerability and the healing power of brotherhood, emphasizing the need for men to connect with their inner selves and seek mentorship. The dialogue also touches on the midlife transition, the challenges of self-discovery, and the role of trust in relationships. Through personal anecdotes and insights, they highlight the journey of embracing one's true self and the value of community in this process.

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Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Body Awareness and Nervous System

02:54 The Importance of Balance in Autonomic Regulation

06:10 Agency Over the Autonomic Nervous System

08:42 Understanding Male Responses to Threat

11:36 Childhood Wounds and Adult Reactions

14:37 The Allostatic Load and Nervous System Paradox

17:21 Training the Nervous System for Peace

20:05 Reintegration Challenges for Veterans

28:57 Reclaiming Personal Power

29:56 The Journey of Self-Discovery

31:55 The Challenge of Healing

33:43 Understanding Emotional Responses

36:39 Navigating Depression and Overwhelm

39:36 The Dorsal Vagal Response

41:03 The Role of Perception in Healing

42:38 Inner Child Work and Emotional Healing

45:12 The Power of Community and Brotherhood

48:20 Experiencing the Men's Initiation

54:41 The Importance of Trust and Rest

56:24 The Value of Trust Over Control

57:48 The Transformative Power of Jiu-Jitsu

59:55 Embracing the Beginner's Mind

01:02:37 The Importance of Humility in Learning

01:05:42 Navigating Midlife Transitions

01:09:30 The Role of Mentorship in Men's Work

01:17:38 Finding Authenticity Beyond Ego