MILKLESS

The data is overwhelming: adults who commit themselves to acts of service and make volunteering a part of their life are just way happier. And, like everything else, that's a muscle you start building when you're a kid. But unless you belong to a religious community, you've kind of got to bring your own beer in terms of incorporating service into your family's life. And with young kids, your options can feel a little limited, because... well, no offense, but five year olds suck at a lot of stuff. So how do you find opportunities that start to instill an instinct for service in your kids? How do we balance boots on the ground volunteerism with making thoughtful decisions about monetary donations? How do we create a healthy connection between privilege and responsibility without dipping into the shame zone. Max and Matt are joined by longtime friend Simon Salgado, who has put a lot of thought into all of these questions and helps make it a funny episode with a lot of laughs. He also shames Max and Matt by making the most disgusting joke of the episode. You win this round, Salgado. 

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Matt and Max talk about how important it is to have adult time away from kids and then meander into how strange the parenting social media universe can be.

When=Now Episodes are a second bonus episode we're dropping each week. The topic is something that's going on in our life right now. Less research, more gritty, no editing, and more free flowing.  Enjoy!

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If you haven't listened to Part 1, go back and start there at Episode #55 (which is Part one of this two part episode). 

We know we keep talking about this, but we (and just about every other parent we know) keep struggling with it. How is it that - no matter how many times it happens, no matter how aware we are of the dynamics, and no matter how much we work against it - sometimes the temperature in the house just gets turned up so high that things explode? Luckily, we've got a new brain and a new perspective entering the conversation: our old friend and father of one Matt Rose, who pushes us into whole new ways of thinking about this age-old parenting culsterf*©k. We get into the uncomfortable relationship between caring deeply for a thing and wanting to exert power over it... the constant push-pull between the need for control and the inevitability of surrender... the fiery reactions we have when our own identities feel threatened... and, of course, an S&M joke or two. Tuck in, y'all. This one goes deep.

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We know we keep talking about this, but we (and just about every other parent we know) keep struggling with it. How is it that - no matter how many times it happens, no matter how aware we are of the dynamics, and no matter how much we work against it - sometimes the temperature in the house just gets turned up so high that things explode? Luckily, we've got a new brain and a new perspective entering the conversation: our old friend and father of one Matt Rose, who pushes us into whole new ways of thinking about this age-old parenting culsterf*©k. We get into the uncomfortable relationship between caring deeply for a thing and wanting to exert power over it... the constant push-pull between the need for control and the inevitability of surrender... the fiery reactions we have when our own identities feel threatened... and, of course, an S&M joke or two. Tuck in, y'all. This one goes deep. This is Part 1 in a two part episode.

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Matt and Max talk about how when you have a second child often times the older child feels like they are pushed out of the way and sometimes fight for attention.

When =Now Episodes are a second bonus episode we're dropping each week. The topic is something that's going on in our life right now. Less research, more gritty, no editing, and more free flowing.  Enjoy!

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There’s a fair amount of research to support the notion that spirituality and religion can be awfully good for people (and for their kids). But organized religion doesn’t exactly have a spotless track record - no matter what faith you’re talking about. Plus Matt and Max both grew up pretty much full-on heathen, so even if they do buy into the benefits, is religion really something that they could genuinely incorporate into their families’ lives? The Boys welcome the refreshingly open-minded Dan Koch to the program to hash it out. Dan hosts the brilliant podcast You Have Permission. He was raised Evangelical, left it behind, and became a therapist and researcher (with a focus on spiritual trauma) - all while remaining a person of deep faith. Dan has spent much of his life thinking about the babies and bathwaters of spirituality and religion - and as a father, he spends a lot of time trying to figure out what that looks like for families and kids. How do we give our children access and exposure to the innate human drives for meaning, transcendence, and connection to something bigger than ourselves… without shoving a bunch of mumbo-jumbo down their throats? Let’s go!

Listen to Max and Matt on Dan Koch’s Podcast You Have Permission:

• On Apple Podcasts
• On Spotify Podcasts
  
  
  

Dan Koch’s Linktree

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Matt and Max talk about how kids are doing travel sports younger and younger with their good friend Simon Salgado.

When = Now is a new episode format for us. This will be the second episode we drop each week! The topic is something that's going on in our life right now. Less research, more gritty, no editing, and more free flowing.  Enjoy!

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Has one of your kids ever asked you to look at them? How about in the last hour? How about in the last five minutes? This one seems to be totally universal, and boy can it drive you up the wall. It is simply not possible to live a full adult life while looking at your kids every time they ask you to. But the son-of-b*tch is that it's also really important for kids to consistently feel seen by their parents. So how do you balance this impossible task? How do you handle those moments when your kid is asking desperately for your full attention and you truly cannot give it to them (because you're, like, merging onto the freeway)? How do you create an environment in which kids feel like they're a part of things, but don't have carte blanche to interrupt you whenever they want? We don't know... but we're definitely going to talk about it. Let's GO!

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Matt and Max talk about how watching science videos with their kids can be a fun way to learn about the world and the wonder within it.

In case you missed Episode #48 (When = Now (Uncut) | Modern Frustration), we're dropping a second episode each week! The format of the second episode is called "When = Now." The topic is something that's going on in our life right now. Less research, more gritty, no editing, and more free flowing.  Enjoy!

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We've got another kickass guest - and this one's kind of, like, a famous guy. Colton Underwood's resume is truly unique: a Catholic-raised college football star from rural Illinois who made it all the way to the NFL, then appeared on three seasons of The Bachelor... then came out as gay at age 29. Colton is now married with a kid on the way and hosting the hit podcast Daddyhood, but coming out was a long and painful process that he wouldn't wish on anybody. Colton joins Max and Matt for an honest discussion about how we as parents can make whatever road our kids travel a little smoother - and allow them to be exactly who they are - whatever that turns out to be.

Daddyhood Podcast

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