Help me out...
 
My book is behind on pre-sales and I'm trying to make up a lot of ground before release on January 28th, 2025. If you love the podcast, please consider preordering—it’s the best way to support me right now. If you don't typically read parenting books, I also have the audiobook version! Thank you so much!

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Description

This week on The Whole Parent Podcast, why is change is so hard? How can we finally stick to our parenting resolutions this year? Katy Milkman's book "How to Change" has answers. If you want 2025 to be the year you parent with purpose and patience, this episode is for you.

Here’s what I talked about:

1. Traditions
   I reflected on my family’s holiday traditions—both the people we’ve lost and the new faces who’ve joined us. Traditions aren’t just fun; they ground us in who we are and what we value.
2. Why Change is Hard
   I explained how our brains are wired for routines and why we fall back on old patterns, even when we desperately want to do things differently. Spoiler: it’s not your fault. It’s science.
3. The Fresh Start Effect
   One of my favorite insights from Katie Milkman’s book How to Change is the idea of using milestone moments, like New Year’s, to kick-start a fresh start. It’s a game-changer.
4. Identity-Based Resolutions
   I shared why your resolutions should focus on who you want to be rather than just what you want to do. For me, it’s about being the kind of parent who stays calm, listens, and leads with curiosity.
5. The Power of Community
   I talked about why the people you surround yourself with can make or break your goals—and how to build a community that supports the parent you want to become.

My Key Takeaways for 2025:

• Start Fresh: Use moments like New Year’s to reset and feel optimistic about change.
• Anchor Your Goals in Identity: Instead of saying, “I’m going to stop yelling,” say, “I’m the kind of parent who stays calm under pressure.”
• Surround Yourself with the Right People: Community is essential to lasting change.

A Few Quotes I Love:

• "It’s not about trying harder; it’s about trying smarter."
• "Every choice becomes an opportunity to affirm the parent you long to be."

Your Turn:

I’d love to hear your parenting resolutions for 2025!

Email me at [email protected]—research shows that when you share your goals with someone, you’re three times more likely to stick with them.

If you’re curious, my resolution this year is simple: I am a punishment-free parent. It’s a journey, not a destination, but I’ve made so much progress by grounding my goals in the kind of parent I want to be.

A Special Thank You:

Thanks to everyone who sent in their resolutions to share on this episode. Listening to your goals inspires me, and I hope it inspires the rest of our community too.

Resources I Mentioned:

• How to Change by Katie Milkman
• My upcoming book: Punishment-Free Parenting: The Brain-Based Way to Raise Kids Without Raising Your Voice (available for pre-order now!)
• 
  

Thanks for listening to this special New Year’s episode. I hope it helps you step into 2025 with clarity, optimism,

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Want to get ME a Christmas Present?
 
My book is behind on pre-sales and I'm trying to make up a lot of ground before release on January 28th, 2025. If you love the podcast, please consider preordering—it’s the best way to support me right now. If you don't typically read parenting books, I also have the audiobook version! Thank you so much!

Preorder the Book 

Preorder the Audiobook

Merry Christmas... sorta.

The holidays are here, and if you’re anything like me, you’re juggling a million things at once—holiday parties, work deadlines, family traditions, and trying to make everything feel magical for your kids. It’s a lot.

But the truth is, it’s not just the holidays. Everyday life as a parent feels more overwhelming than ever, and that’s exactly what we’re talking about in this special Christmas episode of The Whole Parent Podcast.

I’m sitting down with Dr. Aditi Nerurkar, one of the world’s leading experts on stress and resilience, to talk about why parenting today feels so heavy—and, more importantly, what we can actually do about it.

We dive into simple, science-backed strategies from her book The Five Resets that can help us change the way we experience stress. You’ll learn how to use tools like Stop, Breathe, Be and create digital boundaries that protect your mental health and your sleep.

Dr. Nerurkar has so much wisdom to share, and I can tell you this conversation has already made a difference in my own life. If you want to go into the new year with less stress and more calm—not just during the holidays but every day—this episode is for you.

Links Mentioned:

• Follow Dr. Aditi Nerurkar: @DrAditiNerurkar
• Check out her book The Five Resets
• Subscribe to her Substack: It's Not You It's, Your Stress

Take a deep breath, hit play, and let’s figure this out together.

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I need your help!
 
My book is behind on pre-sales and I'm trying to make up a lot of ground before release on January 28th, 2025. If you love the podcast, please consider preordering—it’s the best way to support me right now. If you don't typically read parenting books, I also have the audiobook version! Thank you so much!

Preorder the Book 

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It’s the ultimate parenting conundrum: Do you tell your kids the truth about Santa? In this episode, I dive into the psychology, cultural traditions, and ethical questions behind the Santa myth. Why do kids believe so wholeheartedly, and how do we respond when the questions about Santa’s reality start rolling in? Plus, I explore the tricky balance between keeping the magic alive and maintaining honesty and trust with your children.

This episode includes insights from child development experts, My personal parenting reflections, and an adorable interview with my own kids about their own feelings on Santa Claus.

Whether you’re Team Santa or Team No Santa, this episode will help you navigate the holidays with intention and a deeper understanding of how magical traditions impact your kids’ development and emotional well-being.

What We Covered in This Episode:

1. The Big Question:
   • When your child asks, “Is Santa real?” how do you respond in a way that honors both their wonder and your values?
2. The Psychology of Belief:
   • Why kids naturally embrace magical thinking until around age seven.
   • How the Santa myth fosters imagination, perspective-taking, and moral reasoning.
3. The Controversy:
   • Should parents perpetuate the Santa myth?
   • The downside of using Santa (and Elf on the Shelf) for behavior modification.
   • Why the “naughty and nice list” might be doing more harm than good.
4. Navigating Tricky Conversations:
   • How to approach the Santa topic with sensitive or skeptical kids.
   • Why honesty at the right age builds trust and helps children process big truths.

Resources Mentioned:

• Alfie Kohn’s book, Punished by Rewards, for understanding the impact of extrinsic motivation on kids.
• The 1973 episode of Mister Rogers' Neighborhood where Fred Rogers talks about Santa Claus.
• Jon’s upcoming book, Punishment-Free Parenting: The Brain-Based Way to Raise Kids Without Raising Your Voice.

How to support Whole Parent:

• Subscribe, Rate, and Review: Your feedback keeps the podcast going and helps other parents find it!
• Share with Friends: Know someone grappling with the Santa conversation? Share this episode with three friends who have kids between ages 3 and 10.
• Pre-order Jon’s Book: Available in hardcover, eBook, and audiobook formats. Pre-order now to support the release and start 2025 with fresh parenting strategies!

Thank you for tuning in! Wishing you and your family a joyful and meaningful holiday season, whether you’re celebrating with Santa or creating your own traditions. See you next week! 🎄

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I need your help!
 
My book is behind on pre-sales and I'm trying to make up a lot of ground before release on January 28th, 2025. If you love the podcast, please consider preordering—it’s the best way to support me right now. If you don't typically read parenting books, I also have the audiobook version! Thank you so much!

Preorder the Book 

Preorder the Audiobook

Episode Description:

In this episode of the Whole Parent Podcast, Jon welcomes Dr. Marc Brackett, the founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and author of Permission to Feel. Together, they dive into why emotions matter, how to raise emotionally intelligent children, and the essential skills parents need to model emotional regulation effectively.

Jon and Marc discuss the misconceptions around emotions—especially the temptation to suppress unpleasant feelings—and how these unresolved emotions often resurface in unhealthy ways. Marc shares his guiding principle of giving ourselves “permission to feel” and explains the difference between being an emotion scientist and an emotion judge. Whether you’re navigating tough parenting moments or learning to process your own feelings, this episode will equip you with practical tools for building emotional intelligence at home.

Key Takeaways:

1. Why Emotions Matter:
   • Emotions are critical for attention, decision-making, relationships, mental health, and overall performance.
   • Suppressed emotions don’t go away—they often intensify over time.
2. The Role of Emotional Intelligence:
   • Developing emotional awareness and regulation starts with parents.
   • Kids learn emotional intelligence when parents model vulnerability, self-reflection, and healthy coping strategies.
3. Becoming an Emotion Scientist vs. Emotion Judge:
   • Emotion Scientists: Curious, open, and exploratory when processing feelings.
   • Emotion Judges: Critical, dismissive, and reactive to emotions.
   • Marc introduces his How We Feel app to help individuals and families develop emotional awareness and vocabulary.
4. Practical Regulation Strategies:
   • Proactive emotional regulation (e.g., pausing at the “doorknob moment” to prepare for emotional triggers).
   • Modeling emotional honesty with kids, even during challenging moments.

Other Amazing Resources from Marc:

• Book: Permission to Feel by Dr. Marc Brackett
• App: How We Feel – Free emotional intelligence app 
• Web Series: Dealing with Feelings 

Connect with Dr. Marc Brackett:

• Website: marcbrackett.com
• Instagram: @markbrackett

Connect with Jon and the Whole Parent Podcast:

• Instagram: @wholeparent
• Upcoming Book: Punishment-Free Parenting (January 2025)

Call to Action:

If you loved this episode, don’t forget to:
✅ Subscribe to the podcast.
✅ Leave a 5-star rating and write a review—it helps more parents find this resource.
✅ Share this episode with a parent who would benefit from learning ho

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Now Available for Preorder....
Punishment-Free Parenting: The Brain-Based Way to Raise Kids Without Raising Your Voice

To reserve your copy click the link below:
Preorder Hardcover
Preorder Audiobook
Preorder Kindle  

Show Notes:

Have you ever lashed out at your child and wondered "Where did that come from? Why am I so triggered?"

Spoiler for this episode, it's your childhood... and the reason we do this is because most of us are totally unaware of this unwanted inheritance.

Jon is joined by Dr. Shefali, the pioneer of conscious parenting, who shares her insights on how our childhood experiences shape our parenting styles. Together, they delve into the concept of the subconscious contract between parent and child, exploring how implicit memories and unresolved issues from our past often resurface in moments of stress.

Dr. Shefali emphasizes the importance of mindfulness and healing in parenting, offering practical advice on how parents can break free from harmful patterns and create a healthier environment for their children. 

The conversation touches on spirituality, neuroscience, and the essential role of self-awareness in raising emotionally healthy kids.

Timestamps:

• 0:00 - A Saturday morning meltdown: Jon’s story of losing his cool
• 2:43 - Introduction to Dr. Shefali and the concept of conscious parenting
• 7:57 - The power of implicit memories: How the past shapes our reactions
• 13:53 - The subconscious contract: Understanding toxic parenting dynamics
• 22:19 - Practical steps for conscious parenting and breaking the cycle

Resources Mentioned:

• The Conscious Parent 
• The Parenting Map 
• Dr. Shefali's Podcast

Join Dr. Shefali's Institute Cohort CLOSING 9/9/24

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Get the Autonomy Guide HERE

Episode Title: How To Get Your Toddler to LISTEN!

Episode Number: #29

Host: Jon @wholeparent

Timestamps:

• 0:00 - Introduction and Setting the Scene
• 0:38 - The Frustration of Kids who WON'T LISTEN!
• 2:40 - Why Toddlers Have Selective Hearing
• 7:17 - Understanding Toddler Development and Autonomy
• 16:18 - Effective Communication with Toddlers
• 22:24 - Tips for Improving Toddler Listening Skills
• 33:50 - Closing Thoughts and Call to Action

Key Takeaways:

• Toddlers often exhibit selective hearing due to their developmental stage of seeking autonomy.
• Consistent routines are crucial in helping toddlers feel secure and understand expectations.
• Effective communication with toddlers involves giving clear, positive instructions and allowing time for them to process.
• Saying "yes" as often as possible can foster a more cooperative relationship with your child.

Resources Mentioned:

• PDF on Autonomy-Seeking Activities for Toddlers
• How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

What episode should you listen to next?

• Episode #22: Raising Emotionally Intelligent Kids
• Episode #1: How to Stop Yelling at Your Kids

Call to Action:

• Never miss an episode! CLICK HERE to subscribe.
• Share this episode with friends or on social media.
• Rate and review the podcast to help it grow.

Contact Information:

• Follow Jon @wholeparent on all social media platforms.
• Email: [email protected]

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Struggling with bedtime battles? Discover an incredible bedtime hack that transforms chaos into connection, making bedtime one of the best parts of your day.

Episode Number: #28

Description: In this episode of the Whole Parent Podcast, Jon delves into the challenges of bedtime routines and reveals a transformative hack to turn bedtime battles into moments of deep connection with your child. He discusses the reasons behind kids' resistance to bedtime and shares a practical, brain-based technique that not only helps kids fall asleep faster but also strengthens the parent-child bond.

Timestamps:

00:00 - Introduction And Importance Of Bedtime
02:04 - Personal Anecdotes About Bedtime Chaos And Routines
04:56 - Common Bedtime Resistance Issues And Practical Solutions
06:31 - The Bedtime Story Hack Explained
18:21 - Practical Steps For Implementing The Bedtime Story Hack
26:12 - The Importance Of Sleep For Children's Development
35:28 - Closing Remarks And Call To Action

Key Takeaways:

• The Bedtime Story Hack:
  • Tell your child the story of their day in a calm, soothing voice to help them transition to sleep.
  • Engage their memory and language centers to regulate their emotional state.
  • Consistently use this technique to turn bedtime into a positive, connecting experience.
• Why Kids Resist Bedtime:
  • Novelty and learning: Kids resist sleep because they are constantly learning and don't want to stop.
  • Routine and regulation: Maintaining a consistent bedtime routine helps prevent resistance.
  • Hormonal factors: Avoiding overtiredness and managing cortisol levels is key.
• Benefits of Sleep:
  • Essential for physical, mental, and emotional development.
  • Improves memory, emotional regulation, and overall health.
  • Creates opportunities for deep attachment and bonding with your child.

Links to Resources Mentioned:

• The Highly Sensitive Child by Elaine Aron
• Kinetic Sand

What episode should you listen to next?

• Effective Discipline Without Punishment
• Understanding Your Child's Brain

How to Connect:

• Never Miss a New Episode: CLICK HERE
• Subscribe: If you haven't subscribed to the podcast yet, please do so on your preferred platform.
• Rate and Review: Leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
• Share: Share this episode with friends and family, especially those who struggle with bedtime routines.

Episode Transcript: The full transcript of this episode is available here.

Connect with Whole Parent:

• Email: [email protected]
• Social Media Links:
  • Instagram: @wholeparent
  • TikTok: @wholeparent

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Episode Number: #27

Description: In this guest episode of the Whole Parent Podcast, Jon welcomes KJ from Big Life Journal. They discuss the transformative power of reparenting, the difference between gentle and conscious parenting, and the resources available to support parents on their journey. KJ shares her personal experiences transitioning from authoritarian parenting to gentle parenting, offers her top reparenting tip, and explores how journaling can help parents and children develop resilience and growth mindsets.

Timestamps:

• 00:00 - Introduction to KJ and Audio Disclaimer 
• 02:34 - Conversation with KJ begins
• 03:12 - KJ's background and journey in reparenting
• 04:21 - Difference between gentle parenting and permissive parenting
• 06:15 - Importance of questioning authority and fostering safe challenges
• 09:09 - Explaining the difference between gentle and conscious parenting
• 14:48 - The necessity of effective and conscious parenting today
• 16:21 - The role of journaling in reparenting and parenting
• 19:26 - Discussion on the downloadables and free resources from Big Life Journal
• 23:33 - KJ's number one reparenting tip: Recognizing what’s happening in your body
• 30:22 - Conclusion and final thoughts on reparenting and gentle parenting

Key Takeaways:

1. Reparenting: A crucial step in becoming a better parent by understanding and addressing one’s own triggers and reactions.
2. Gentle vs. Conscious Parenting: Gentle parenting is what children experience, while conscious parenting involves the internal work parents do to improve their interactions with their children.
3. Journaling: An effective tool for parents and children to develop resilience, growth mindsets, and critical thinking skills.
4. Big Life Journal Resources: Offers journals and free printables to help children and parents on their growth journey.

Resources Mentioned:

• Big Life Journal: Website
• KJ’s Instagrams: @gentlehealingmom and @biglifejournal
• Free Printables and Sign up for the Big Life Journal Newsletter

What to listen to next?

• How to Stop Yelling at your Kids #001 

Calls to Action:

• Subscribe: Subscribe to the Whole Parent Podcast on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.
• Rate and Review: Leave a rating and review to help other parents find the podcast and benefit from the content.
• Share: Share this episode with fellow parents who might benefit from learning about reparenting and gentle parenting.
• Email List: Join the email list to receive updates on new episodes and resources.

Contact Information:

• Email: [email protected]
• Instagram: @wholeparent
• TikTok: @wholeparent

Thank you for tuning in to this episode of the Whole Parent Podcast. We hope you found it insightful and helpful in your parenting journey. See you in the next episode!

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Episode Number: #26

Take the quiz to find our if your kid is Highly Sensitive

Description: In this episode of the Whole Parent Podcast, Jon delves into the concept of collaborative consequences, explaining why this method is a powerful tool for effective parenting, especially for highly sensitive children. As a strong advocate for the abolition of punishment in parenting, discusses how to differentiate between punishment and consequences and introduces the idea of working with children to set boundaries collaboratively. Through personal anecdotes and practical advice, Jon illustrates how this approach fosters a child's growth, understanding, and self-discipline.

Timestamps:

• 00:00 - Introduction to the Whole Parent Podcast and the highly sensitive kid quiz
• 02:24 - Definition and importance of collaborative consequences
• 03:53 - Difference between punishment and consequences
• 05:27 - Why punishment is ineffective
• 06:48 - Explanation of consequences and their role in teaching
• 07:29 - Steps to implement collaborative consequences
• 11:58 - The importance of seeking a child's input
• 13:44 - The significance of a child's buy-in in the discipline process
• 16:10 - Long-term goals of using collaborative consequences
• 17:37 - Personal example: Collaborative consequences for cleaning up messes
• 26:18 - Personal example: Collaborative consequences for managing screen time
• 32:52 - Conclusion and final thoughts on collaborative consequences
• 33:09 - Call to action: Subscribe, rate, review, and join the email list

Key Takeaways:

1. Collaborative Consequences: Involve your child in setting boundaries and consequences to ensure they understand and agree with them, which increases their effectiveness.
2. Difference from Punishment: Unlike punishment, which is retributive and ineffective in the long-term, collaborative consequences focus on teaching and guiding children to make better decisions.
3. Child's Buy-In: When children have a say in their own discipline process, they are more likely to adhere to the agreed-upon boundaries and learn self-discipline.
4. Practical Examples: Jon shares real-life examples of implementing collaborative consequences in his household, providing a clear model for listeners to follow.

Resources Mentioned:

• Take the Highly Sensitive Kid Quiz
• How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk

Recommendations for the Next Episode:

• Episode #11: Discipline Part 1

Calls to Action:

• Subscribe: Subscribe to the Whole Parent Podcast on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.
• Rate and Review: Leave a rating and review to help other parents find the podcast.
• Share: Share this episode with fellow parents who might benefit from learning about collaborative consequences.
• Email List: Join the email list to receive updates on new episodes and resources.

Contact Information:

• Email: [email protected]
• Instagram: @wholeparent
• TikTok: @wholeparent

Thank you for tuning in to this episode of the Whole Parent Podcast. We hope you found it insightful and helpful in your parenting journey. See you in the next episode!

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Want to know if your child is Highly Sensitive? TAKE THE QUIZ!
 
Parenting a Highly Sensitive Child

Episode Number: #25

Description: In this episode of the Whole Parent Podcast, Jon delves into the world of highly sensitive children. He explains what high sensitivity is, how it manifests in kids, and shares practical strategies for parents to help their highly sensitive children thrive. Jon also highlights the groundbreaking work of Dr. Elaine Aron, who introduced the concept of high sensitivity, and provides insights into the emotional, physical, and social needs of highly sensitive kids.

Timestamps:

• 00:01 - Introduction to highly sensitive kids
• 01:24 - Acknowledging Dr. Elaine Aron's work on high sensitivity
• 02:48 - Improved show notes and additional resources
• 03:17 - Understanding what high sensitivity is
• 05:14 - Symptoms and characteristics of highly sensitive kids
• 07:40 - Evolutionary perspective on high sensitivity
• 10:03 - Sensory amplification in highly sensitive kids
• 12:31 - Behavioral signs of high sensitivity
• 22:47 - Emotional, physical, and social needs of highly sensitive kids
• 31:52 - Practical tips for parenting highly sensitive kids
• 41:58 - Benefits of being highly sensitive (IT'S A SUPER POWER!)
• 43:26 - Conclusion 

Key Takeaways: Jon's Three Practical Tips for Parenting Highly Sensitive Kids:

1. Establish Routines: Create a predictable home environment to provide a sense of security for highly sensitive kids.
2. Take Breaks: Allow for regular downtime to help highly sensitive kids process and cope with sensory input.
3. Focus on Emotional Intelligence: Teach kids to recognize, label, and express their emotions to manage their heightened sensitivity.

Links to Resources Mentioned:

• Is Your Kid Highly Sensitive Quiz!
• The Highly Sensitive Child by Dr. Elaine Aron
• The Highly Sensitive Parent by Dr. Elaine Aron

What episode should you listen to next?

• Raising Emotionally Intelligent Kids

How to Connect:

• Never Miss a New Episode: CLICK HERE
• Subscribe: If you haven't subscribed to the podcast yet, please do so on your preferred platform.
• Rate and Review: Leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
• Share: Share this episode with friends and family, especially those who have highly sensitive children or might benefit from learning about high sensitivity.

Connect with Whole Parent:

• Email: [email protected]

Social Media Links:

• Instagram: @wholeparent
• TikTok: @wholeparent

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