I discovered comfort food as a infant.

I was tall and big before I was 9.

At 25 I had my first suicide attempt.

I was blackout eater.

I have been paddled back to lifetwice at 350 lbs. There is so much more.

Today I have a daily ritual, which keeps me sane, abstinent and useful. I record my food and and express my gratitude to my Higher Power maintaining a 150 Lb. weight loss.

I Was in mental hospital at 16 and learned about drugs. It did not help my weight but I was taken to AA.

Found OA grey sheet in 1977. Got physical recovery and several relapses.

For me the "OA Diet" worked briefly several times  with more weigh gain up to 300.

For more than 35 years I took what I liked and left the rest. 

Eventually I actually did all 12 steps with a sponsor

Today I have a food plan. Participate in service, sponsor people, and work the entire program to the best of my ability.

First came into OA in  2006. 

After multiple relapse I finally realized my recovery HAD to be my primary focus in order to have the rest of my life.

As a child I wanted to be invisible but my weight made that impossible.

I had excel spreadsheets for the diets I would start on Monday.

Today I have am maintaining a 150 lb weight loss.

The level of my honesty is reflected in the quality of my recovery.

I have walked through a myriad of problems and not turned to the food.

My daily ritual for my recovery it sacred for me.

When My relationship with God is right relianace of food is gone.

33.75 years abstinent and maintaining121 lb weight loss.

Prior to OA I was a nutritional expert gaining and loosing over 700 lbs a little at a time. 

I knew how to get shinny, but not for long.

Heavy I was angry, Thin I was angry. Hmmmm.

About the time I was planning my suicide I went to OA. Found people who didn't overeat AND they didn't want to. They had the 12 steps.

I have had tragedy and good fortunes and did not turn to the food on either end.

I  can put an abstinent meal together anywhere in the world.

I do not believe I could just go to a couple of meeting a week and maintain my life. It is the whole program. meetings, sponsoring, calls and introspection that works for me and keeps my disease at bay.

2002 Came to OA hundred pounder. Knew about AA and felt sorry for those poor addicts.

My pitch is for those who are tortured by what they eat.

I was convinced I need a sponsor, needed to call him and I recived a new life. Got involved in service, met a girl and got married. 

By 2017 I lost interest in recovery. my weight climbed, my enjoyment in my life plummeted.

Every plan I made feel through until I the only thing left was back to OA.

I thought if I lost weight fast I was getting better.

Today I make no food decision on my own. I am food neutral.

I am an atheist who prays a lot.

There are some gaps in the recording due to poor internet.

*****

 Even as a child the goal of being thin and eating as much as possible were at odds.

At 11 I went OA. They were nice but that was all I remember.

At 15 all I wanted them to do was' Stop Talking!'

I followed a diet and called it recovery.

In '94 I began my recovery, getting a sponsor and following directions he gave me.

I got amazing results loosing weight AND found the ability to spout OA wisdom like it was my own. 

I got so good I began sponsoring myself because I was so good. 

Finally got back with all my weight, followed new directions with a slight degree of humility developed and relationship with my higher power and began the road to real recovery.

My childhood was devoted  to sweets.

A friend died of obesity when we were 41. Got me to a doctor who scared me healthy for a moment.

Found a new diet online called OA. Followed grey sheet, lost weight with no recovery. and paid the price.

Finally found my way back to OA and the Pizza Box meeting. They were extremely serious about their recovery AND had fun.

Today I have have a daily ritual including the tools of the program and tools I have learned from other abstinent members.

Today I do my best to do the right thing around food, relationships, driving -  life.

My step zero is to always remember WHY I am in OA.

Isolation is my enemy.  The fellowship helps me conquer that enemy.

Sugary and starchy foods are a problem for me.

I was a chronic dieter and nothing ever lasted. 

At 5' 1" almost 300 lbs is a lot of mass.  My thinnest got me hospitalized. Always Malnourished.

I came to O. A. seeking and external solution to an internal problem.

Self loathing is not the path to recovery.

I was inspired (Not my idea) to attend an OA Conference. I was struck abstinent at that weekend.

I am always moving toward or away from my Higher Power. Toward is better.

I cannot do this alone. I need all of you and all the tools.

My GPS is God's Powerful Spirit.

Came in 2007 at 519 lbs

I had a core belief ' I am not ok". If thing did not go the way I wanted it proved me right, kept me outside. I learned to accept that truth. My relationship with food verified it more.

My weight went up, down, up more, down, up more up to a high of 525.

The honest awareness and acceptance I could not do it by myself got me into O.A.

Step 1 was a grieving process for me.

When I want too know what I am supposed to do, I look at what I am resisting.

Any time I think I got away with something, it becomes a heavier weight than the food. 

Came back into program from a terrible relapse in 2010  Took until 2014 to get abstinence.

My mother put me on diets very young. No diet lasted very long.

I went from a small town catholic girls school to NYC nursing school. discovered I really like to party.

Married with two children I thought there would be a top to my weight gain. Did not find it.

Anxiety pills and vodka produced the expected result and ended up in the ER. 

Finally I committed  up in OA followed direction, did service, had friends and thought I was good and could do this without meetings. That did not work. and I got up to my highest weight.

In 2014 I started my real journey to recovery into a life beyond my wildest dreams.