My core family emotion was rage. Learned to ask for NOTHING.

As an anorexic I was not connected to my hunger until I was way overdue for food and then I binged. 

I entered recovery by removing all sharp knives and having my friends hide them from me.I was not well.

Today I still weigh and measure my food at home.

Every step has life lessons. 

My food plan is redundant - That works well for me.

I have been with my food sponsor for 30 years. He knows me well.

My friends are in recovery.

I am in other 12 step programs. I have to be good in all 3 to call myself 'sober'

Topped out over 300 LBS  Now I have 44 years abstinent.

I was overweight early and hated myself growing up

I was berated by my family.  Went to first OA meeting at 17 in 1973.

I had lots of difficulties with the steps The grey sheet helped me loose weight. . . A lot of weight. but not for long. 

I ate my way into the threat of diabetic blindness. All my reasons for avoiding OA were trashed my first meeting back.

I was full of resentments and did not want to be told what to do.

Eventually I began the inner work and got better results in my body but specially in my mind. There are always reasons to eat. Better reason to abstain.

My parents were both Holocaust survivors which brought food issues.

My parents in the food business which made it easy for me to catch this disease.

In 4th grade was prescribed  Speed.  as time went on I tried many prescription drugs as well as the pay and weigh.

Working at Knotts Berry Farm there were rides I was not allowed to ride.

I got a newcomer pack, read it, learned it and eventually figured i would be here for the long haul. 

In OA with a sponsor I got the unconditional love I was desperately seeking from my family.

I continue to learn in this program.

I went to AA Meetings to support another and it filtered into me and my food.

Even with sponsors I went insane with dieting. which led me away from the program.

In 2008 I hit another bottom which took me back to program.  I jumped into all aspects of the program, steps, service, a daily ritual.

My experience is that with my yellow light foods I was in denial that they belonged to the red light list.

My wife was taking a client to AA meetings sitting in the back. Mentioned they had a problem with alcohol like I did with food and mentioned OA. That did not please me. 

I ended up in OA wanting relief from the grief without making any changes in my behavior.

Eventually I embraced actually doing as told, getting a food plan, doing the steps.

I have done the steps and continue each time I take a sponsee through them.

I have daily actions regarding my food, my programmed and my life. 

I can still be driven by pride, self centeredness or fear but not as often not as long and not as intensely.

I was adopted and that comes with its unique baggage.

I always felt there was something wrong with me.

My story matches so many others, My mom comforted me with food and it worked. 

I came to OA in 1976. I followed the strict food plan, lost weight and collected sponsees. It cost me my family which was not a bad thing.

I started meetings at my apartment. And found a church that synced well with my program.

I unknowingly married an alcoholic which led to my relapse. which led me to Al-Anon. which opened my eyes even more.

The beginning of her sobriety was also my return to abstinence.

I have a morning ritual which includes my sponsees, reading, walking and it seems to be working . . for me.

Always bought clothes in Husky.My parents would bribe me to loose weight. did it, got the prize then right back up.

It was suggested. I go to OA. and found out it was not Order of the Arrow.

First food plan was grey sheet. lost weight, too much weigh. 

I was sent to AA and  discovered 'Solutions.. Learned to listen for the similarities, not the differences.

I was directed to a sponsor who scared me the most.

How do you keep weight off? - repeatedly running up the steps.

Today I can be honest with God, Myself and my sponsor.

I share my gratitude with individuals freely. 

My first food plan was no sugar which seemed impossible.

When I got 21 Days i was eligible to be a sponsor.

The foundation of my abstinence was still no sugar my food plan is built on that. That gave me too much wiggle room.

I ended up down to 88 lbs on the food plan I had been given. It did not last and I left OA

From then on I went up and own with insane eating and insane diets.

I calculated how much laxative I need to take take to offset my eating. 

Today I have a daily ritual, solid food plan that works and a relationship and conscious contact with a higher power.

2 Periods of abstinence.

For me abstinence is binary, I am or i am not. 

When I came back I was eating from the produce aisle and still gaining weight.

There was a shift when I changed from eating emotionally to eating nutritionally based on a food plan.

I have a Higher Power and I shorten it to God.

I still feel the pull. Today I call me sponsor instead of giving into it.

Half of my abstinence is an attitude,

Program always comes first.

Sober 32 years , Abstinent - 2 Food is a bigger deal and harder Top weight  over 350 lbs.

I am now in a body and a mind that does not include dieting.

I just wanted the diet, I can do this!  For a while

For me steps 6 and 7 were the miracle steps. Transformed my relationship with me.

I imagined a abstinent life of suffering. I din't hear that, just imagined that.

I was not ready for so long, I prayed be ready and one day it happened. I stopped convincing myself of the path I imagined and started to accept reality which was not anywhere near as bad as my scenario.