Mindfully With 'Tunmise

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How do you keep living when the answer never comes? We start with a question that is easy to dodge and hard to sit with: how are you, really. Then we slow down, breathe, and make room for the truth that being triggered doesn’t mean you’re failing. Sometimes it’s simply a wound saying, “I’m still here,” and compassion is where healing begins.

I introduce you to my little brother, Yanolua, as a full person before illness tries to rename him. He dreams of broadcasting, he keeps believing even when life is unkind, and he carries a kind of faith that both comforts and confuses me. When systemic lupus erythematosus (SLE), an autoimmune disease, enters our story, it changes the body, the family, and the future. You’ll also hear two powerful journal entries read in his voice, words that hold pain, mystery, rescue, and the longing for a solid foundation.

From there, the conversation widens to my own body and my own questions after major surgeries, especially the anger behind “but I did everything right.” We talk about family health inheritance, chronic illness, grief, and the pressure to find a culprit. A moment from John chapter 9 pushes back on blame and shame, reminding us that suffering doesn’t always come with a simple reason, and a human being is never just a punishment. We end with an invitation I’m still learning to obey: stop turning your pain into a courtroom, and go live anyway.

If this moved something tender in you, listen through, share it with someone who needs it, and subscribe for more. Rate and review the show, and send us a message with what came up for you.

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Love Yourself; Love Your Neighbour; Love Your Country: Above all of these Love God He's the essence of Your Being.

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The world can rename you without ever touching your birth certificate. It can do it through praise you start chasing, criticism you start believing, trauma you didn’t ask for, or a culture that rewards you most when you feel yourself the least. So we start somewhere simple and brave: I ask “How are you, really?” and we slow down enough to answer with honesty, breath, and a body that has been holding more than it admits. 

From there, we move into identity, not the identity on application forms, but the quiet self that shows up when your values collide with the environment around you. I reflect on Daniel in Babylon, where the pressure to assimilate doesn’t begin with obvious harm, but with opportunity, training, and subtle renaming. We talk about the labels we carry that were never ours to keep, the cost of belonging that feels conditional, and the moment Daniel “resolved” before the miracles, before the lions, before the spotlight. 

We also name the modern Babylons that whisper instead of shout: approval, productivity, perfection, people pleasing, and the exhausting urge to be understood by everyone. I share the difference between stubbornness and resolve, why solitude can be reunion rather than loneliness, and why healing is not always an exit. Sometimes the win is staying yourself right where you are, keeping your center while you live, love, and serve in the real world. 

If this conversation gives you language for what you’ve been feeling, subscribe, rate the show, and share it with someone you love. Then send us a message from the link in the show notes: how are you, really?

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Get Living Mindfully: A Journey to Being  https://blackhemages.com/living-mindfully/

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Love Yourself; Love Your Neighbour; Love Your Country: Above all of these Love God He's the essence of Your Being.

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How do you live when life refuses to make sense and the answers never arrive on time? We start with a simple question that can change the whole day: “How are you… really?” Not the polite version, the honest one. Then we slow down, soften our shoulders, breathe, and practice mindfulness as a way to come home to ourselves when we feel tempted to hide. 

We also celebrate three years of this podcast as more than content: a shared healing journey built on showing up, even through silence, surgery, and seasons when surviving takes more energy than speaking. I reflect on what I expected at the beginning versus what actually happened, including the surprising truth that this space has been healing me too. If you care about mental health, emotional resilience, and faith that can hold complexity, you’ll feel the heartbeat of this conversation. 

From there we walk with Sarah, not to defend her or judge her, but to keep her company. We explore the grief of waiting, the pain of holding a promise without evidence, and what it might have felt like when Hagar became pregnant. Instead of tying the story into a neat bow, we honour the silence in the text and the messiness in the human heart. That leads to a deeper takeaway: safety is not always found in certainty. Sometimes safety is found in capacity, the ability to hold joy and grief, faith and questions, hope and disappointment, love and hurt, and still keep walking. 

If this resonates, share it with someone who needs permission to be human while they wait, follow the show wherever you listen, and leave a review so more people can find mindful living that’s honest and grounded. What’s one place in your life where you’re demanding certainty when you might be invited into capacity?

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Get Living Mindfully: A Journey to Being  https://blackhemages.com/living-mindfully/

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Love Yourself; Love Your Neighbour; Love Your Country: Above all of these Love God He's the essence of Your Being.

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You can be “doing everything right” and still feel hollow inside. That’s the quiet cost of approval addiction: the constant performing, the overthinking, the perfectionism that looks like excellence from the outside but feels like panic on the inside.

We start with a grounded check-in and a short breath and body release, because healing is not a speech, it’s a practice. Then we trace how our relationship with “what if” thinking can turn into negotiating with history, replaying old scenes when what we really want is to matter. From there, we name the pattern clearly: the need to be accepted, liked, and chosen can become an identity, shaping how we speak, how we work, and how we show up in relationships.

I share a story from my first day on radio, when I memorised a script and still hesitated because it didn’t feel perfect, and how a simple compliment made me cry because it felt like being seen. We also sit with Jacob’s story and the question of what we inherit from family systems where love feels divided and comparison becomes normal. At the river Jabbok, the mask drops and the wrestling begins, a picture of healing that doesn’t always look like winning, but does look like honesty.

We close with a gentle, direct question you can carry into your week: Where in my life am I still performing in hope of being accepted? If this resonated, share it with someone who needs permission to breathe, and please follow, rate, and review the show so more people can find these conversations.

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Get Living Mindfully: A Journey to Being  https://blackhemages.com/living-mindfully/

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Website: https://blackhemages.com/

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Love Yourself; Love Your Neighbour; Love Your Country: Above all of these Love God He's the essence of Your Being.

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Some pain doesn’t end with a bow, and that doesn’t mean you’re failing. I’m talking about ambiguous grief, also known as ambiguous loss, the kind of grief that lacks closure because something is gone but never really leaves, or something is present but no longer feels available. When I didn’t have language for that, my mind kept trying to solve what only needed to be understood, and it wore me out.

I hold that reality up next to the Book of Job, not the highlight reel ending, but the middle where most of us actually live. Job’s world falls apart, his friends show up with confident explanations, and he’s left carrying the weight of questions that don’t cooperate. That tension feels familiar when people narrate our pain better than they understand our experience, even when they mean well.

Then I get personal about a longer hypermanic episode that had no clear trigger and no easy loop to close. What surprised me wasn’t an answer, but a voice I hadn’t listened to in years: a younger version of me asking not to be fixed, but to be seen. I share what it looked like to respond with recognition instead of another rushed explanation, and why perspective can bring a different kind of peace even when closure never arrives.

If you’ve been searching for a neat reason, consider a gentler question: who inside you is still waiting for acknowledgement? Subscribe, share this with someone who needs a soft landing, and leave a review so more people can find this healing space.

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Get Living Mindfully: A Journey to Being  https://blackhemages.com/living-mindfully/

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Website: https://blackhemages.com/

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Love Yourself; Love Your Neighbour; Love Your Country: Above all of these Love God He's the essence of Your Being.

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Confidence isn’t always confidence. Sometimes it’s insecurity with good posture, a steady voice, and years of practice hiding in plain sight. We talk directly to our mindful partners about what it feels like when your inner world is loud, your outer world looks “fine,” and your mental health keeps asking the same questions in new ways.

We trace where that quiet insecurity can begin, including a story from radio and the cruel little whisper it leaves behind: “only your voice is beautiful.” From there, we slow the pace with a guided body check, because the body often notices what the mind tries to edit. We sit with the uncomfortable truth that evidence can bring closure without bringing change, and that masks can become normal especially when social media rewards the polished version of us.

Faith shows up as a mirror, not a performance. The story of Gideon becomes a companion for anyone who feels unqualified, afraid, or “not enough,” and we explore why honest questions can be more transformative than perfect certainty. We also name the inner sentences that trap us, including the way anxiety can sound like wisdom, and we land on a surprising reframe: healing can feel like subtraction less certainty, less performance, less masking until you find the part of you that can actually fight.

If something speaks to you here, subscribe, share this with someone you love, and leave a review so more people can find the conversation. What story have you repeated so often it now sounds like your own voice?

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Get Living Mindfully: A Journey to Being  https://blackhemages.com/living-mindfully/

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Love Yourself; Love Your Neighbour; Love Your Country: Above all of these Love God He's the essence of Your Being.

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The loudest voice in your life might be the one nobody else can hear. We’re talking about personal dialogue the inner self-talk that shapes your mental health, your relationships, and the choices you make when life gets heavy. I’m not asking you to borrow my map of healing. I’m unfolding mine, so you can recognise your own patterns and start building a language that actually supports you. 

We start with a hard truth: even a beautiful story of origin can leave you with a script that breaks down the moment “privilege stops working.” When the identity you built around being the helper becomes the reason you can’t ask for help, the real battle is internal. That’s why we dig into self-language the voice your body speaks, the voice your relationships inherit, and the voice you use on yourself when nobody is listening. 

Then I bring in the Red Sea crossing as a metaphor for healing: not just the miracle, but the long night of wind, fear, and walking forward while old identities still shout behind you. Sometimes faith begins with borrowing courage from the people walking beside you. We pause for a body check-in, because mindfulness and breath are not accessories they’re tools for settling the nervous system so the story can settle too. 

I also speak openly about living with bipolar II, masking, and what it means to sit with the darkest voices instead of rushing to suppress them. A line from Brianna Wiest shifts the frame: healed doesn’t mean flawless; it means sadness, fear, and grief no longer run the whole conversation. If you’re ready to look at your inner dialogue with more honesty and more compassion, press play, then subscribe, share the episode, and leave a review so more people can find this kind of support.

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Get Living Mindfully: A Journey to Being  https://blackhemages.com/living-mindfully/

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Love Yourself; Love Your Neighbour; Love Your Country: Above all of these Love God He's the essence of Your Being.

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A man can look “fine” and still be standing on a ledge inside his own mind. That tension sits at the heart of our conversation with author Ulutumbi Ito about his novel My Mrs. Solomon: A Man’s Quest For True Manliness, and why storytelling may be one of the most effective ways to start honest men’s mental health conversations without shame or posturing. 

We talk about the quiet rules many boys learn early: don’t cry, don’t admit fear, don’t ask for help. Then we follow what those rules can cost over time, especially when abuse happens to boys and the only socially acceptable response is laughter or denial. From emotional silence to suicide risk, we name the patterns that keep men isolated, and we challenge the cultural “alpha male” mirage that insists everything must be perfect. 

The episode also digs into relationships and recovery. We explore how a supportive partner and a strong friend circle can create the safety a man needs to finally speak, and why many men struggle with emotional vocabulary in the first place. Faith and family show up too: we question what “safety” means, what parental accountability looks like, and how a fresh lens on Peter walking on water reframes courage as the willingness to ask for help. 

If you care about men’s mental health, healing from trauma, marriage under pressure, parenting with awareness, or building real support systems, press play and sit with us. Subscribe, share this with someone you love, and leave a review so more people can find these conversations.

Get a copy here https://selar.com/mymrs

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Get Living Mindfully: A Journey to Being  https://blackhemages.com/living-mindfully/

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Website: https://blackhemages.com/

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Love Yourself; Love Your Neighbour; Love Your Country: Above all of these Love God He's the essence of Your Being.

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The world is loud right now: war, economic stress, nonstop online gender battles, and the quiet feeling that everyone is bracing for impact. So we take a different approach. We pause, breathe, and talk honestly about men’s mental health, not as a trend, but as a survival issue and a relationship issue that touches families, marriages, friendships, and whole communities.

My guest, Elishius Olalua, helps me name the thing many men can feel but struggle to explain: a script of strength that gets handed to boys early and enforced later through shame, status, and silence. We unpack what “being strong” is often taught to mean in Nigerian and wider African homes, why vulnerability can feel expensive, and how men end up saying “I’m okay” even when they are overwhelmed. We also explore the hidden cost of tying a man’s worth only to what he provides, and why provision has to include the state of your mind, spirit, and emotional health not just money.

We go deeper into emotional literacy: why anger becomes the “allowed” emotion, why many men lack language for what they feel, and what it takes to ask for help without feeling like you’re failing. We end with a grounded takeaway, one reflective question for your journal, and a practical invitation to create safer spaces for boys and men to be fully human.

If any part of this resonates, subscribe, share it with someone you care about, and leave a review so more people can find these healing conversations. What would change in your home if men had real permission to feel?

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Get Living Mindfully: A Journey to Being  https://blackhemages.com/living-mindfully/

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Website: https://blackhemages.com/

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Love Yourself; Love Your Neighbour; Love Your Country: Above all of these Love God He's the essence of Your Being.

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“Give me my flowers while I’m still here” sounds like a clean rule for life, but once you factor in loneliness, shifting relationships, and the masks we wear to survive, it gets complicated fast. We start with a simple mental health frame I keep coming back to: alignment. 

When your thoughts, emotions, and actions aren’t at war, you feel more grounded. And because language shapes our inner world, reframing common phrases can be a surprisingly powerful mindfulness practice.

We talk about why social media can feel so loud, why so many of us crave a seat at the table, and how the most connected generation can still feel painfully alone. 

I pause for a breath with you and ask the question that can change a lot: whose opinion still steadies you or shakes you, and why? 

From there, we go into the armor we reach for when we’re afraid, pulling from Brené Brown’s insight that armor, not fear, is what blocks love, connection, and our values.

Then we bring it back to “flowers” and relationships. 

Some people drift with no fight, no drama, just distance, and when loss arrives we remember the beauty more than the gap. 

We also look at friendship through a lens that challenges the usual definition, including Simon Sinek’s idea that real friends aren’t only there for hard times, they’re the people who can celebrate your good news without making you feel like you’re bragging. 

We end with reflection questions you can sit with all week and a reminder that sometimes the most mindful move is to give yourself flowers while you learn how to ask for what you need.

If it resonates, subscribe, share it with someone you’re walking beside, and leave a review so more people can find these mental health and mindfulness conversations.

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LinkedIn : https://www.linkedin.com/in/tunmise-oladapo-kuku-8a2626b/

Get Living Mindfully: A Journey to Being  https://blackhemages.com/living-mindfully/

https://chat.whatsapp.com/BFAJsSrOui17Po8tvmMoPe

Website: https://blackhemages.com/

b45eeaafa11188b421daa26f6eb85da5596dbf11

Love Yourself; Love Your Neighbour; Love Your Country: Above all of these Love God He's the essence of Your Being.

#tdk