My Journey Through False Allegations and Post-Separation Abuse

Being falsely accused can shatter a person’s sense of self, creating waves of emotional, mental, and even physical trauma that linger for years. I know this all too well. As an author who dared to share my truth through my self-published book, Post Separation Abuse, Betrayal and Abandonment, What Type of Man?, I never imagined the level of retaliation I would face.

5 Key Takeaways:

* The Devastating Impact of False Allegations – Being falsely accused can lead to severe emotional, psychological, and financial distress, often leaving victims trapped in a legal nightmare.

* The Role of the Legal System in Re-Traumatization – Navigating the courts while dealing with trauma is overwhelming, especially when lawyers and professionals dismiss or ignore key evidence.

* Emotional and Social Isolation – Facing accusations can result in PTSD, emotional dysregulation, and being ostracized by the community, leaving victims feeling abandoned and powerless.

* Post-Separation Abuse as a Form of Control – False accusations are often used as a tactic by abusers to maintain control, discredit the victim, and inflict further harm long after the relationship ends.

* The Importance of Advocacy and Support Networks – Finding the right support system, raising awareness, and speaking out about post-separation abuse can help survivors reclaim their power and heal.

5 Best Moments:

* The Moment of Betrayal – Discovering that a former partner had fabricated multiple criminal allegations, weaponizing the legal system as a means of revenge.

* Standing Before the Court – The emotional turmoil of facing a judge while knowing the accusations were baseless, yet feeling powerless in a flawed system.

* The Impact on Mental Health – The sheer exhaustion, anxiety, and trauma of fighting for justice while struggling with PTSD and isolation.

* A Small Victory Amid the Chaos – The relief of having allegations dismissed, yet grappling with the long-term consequences of the ordeal.

* Turning Pain Into Purpose – Using the experience to raise awareness about post-separation abuse, advocate for survivors, and inspire others to fight for justice.

Grab a copy of the recommended reading: How Many More Women?

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More Recommended Reading:

https://lifechangeplans.com/shop/

Read "Silencing Survivors Through Defamation"

https://lifechangeplans.com/silencing-survivors-through-defamation-lawsuits/

🎧 Listen now and join the conversation on how we can support survivors of false accusations and post-separation abuse.

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No 1 in Self-Help For Abuse. October 2024

Post Separation Abuse. Betrayal and Abandonment. What Type Of Man? Loren Keeling

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The unlevel playing field and power imbalances.

Are these power imbalances an indication of something more sinister going on?

A high-conflict personality will rather litigate divorce and separation than come to the table to discuss things in a civilised adult manner. They will hide behind the legal process and have the lawyer do all the work, abuse by proxy. The high-conflict personality will have deep pockets they don’t mind spending on legal fees as they want to win at all costs. They lack empathy, have zero morals, and refuse to accept any responsibility for the abuse and psychological damage they are causing. If you do happen to engage them in mediation if the mediator is not knowledgeable about “coercive control” or “narcissistic abuse” then they will manipulate the mediator and will move the goalposts on the offers made before you can even sign an agreement they will have changed their mind again and gone one step backwards. It is so frustrating for everyone.

Quote

It is not just another high-conflict divorce or separation. There are people who can ruin your life. They will destroy your reputation, your self-esteem or your career. High-conflict personalities will think nothing of leaving you emotionally and financially devastated.

https://lifechangeplans.com/not-another-high-conflict-divorce-or-separation/

One Moms Battle

https://www.onemomsbattle.com/about

No 1 in Self-Help For Abuse. October 2024

Post Separation Abuse. Betrayal and Abandonment. What Type Of Man?

Available on Amazon UK: https://amzn.to/3NBlQbx

Or Amazon US: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B1RVQQDH

Story Time Podcast

https://youtu.be/Anu758ffGJk

My recommended reading

Invisible Bruises: How a Better Understanding of the Patterns of Domestic Violence Can Help Survivors Navigate the Legal Systems.

Amazon: https://amzn.to/4e54y1c

IT’S NOT “HIGH CONFLICT” IT’S POST-SEPARATION ABUSE: When Abusers Weaponize the Courts as a Form of Retaliation

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Summary

In this podcast episode of 'Mindset Money Success', host Loraine Marshall shares her personal experience regarding a protracted legal battle following a relationship breakdown. Loraine details events starting from January 2022, when she received an email from her former partner regarding property matters. She describes how she sought legal advice and faced eviction proceedings in Spain. Loraine explains the complexities of her situation, including the challenges of navigating Spanish legal systems, dealing with allegations from her former partner, and her efforts to negotiate a settlement. She discusses the emotional impact of these events, particularly regarding the timing of eviction notices and their connection to personal anniversaries. Loraine also shares her plans to start a nonprofit organization to help others in similar situations, detailing her business plan and funding needs. Throughout the episode, Lorraine emphasizes the importance of legal protections for non-married couples and the challenges dependent partners face in property disputes.

Initial Contact and Legal Threats

Loraine describes receiving an unexpected email from her former partner on January 6, 2022, regarding property viewing arrangements. After consulting a relationship coach, she emailed the former ex-partner to agree to accommodate the viewing under the condition that he would honour his initial financial proposal of 50% of the property value. Shortly after, she received threatening communications about potential eviction.

Property Negotiations and Challenges

Loraine explains the failed property sale negotiations in mid-2021, including a three-hour meeting with her former partner. She discusses how the prospective buyers backed out due to concerns about potential eviction proceedings.

Ongoing Legal Battle and Future Plans

Loraine discusses the ongoing legal battle, including two attempted eviction dates in 2024 that were suspended due to social services intervention. She shares her plans to start a nonprofit organization and details her business strategy, including funding needs and project goals.

Loraine's Action Items

Plans to raise 2,400 euros to establish a nonprofit organization

Intends to launch a new business venture related to her experiences

Aims to complete her second book and expand her online presence through various platforms.

Continues to document her story and raise awareness about legal protections for non-married couples.

When Four Months Turns Into Four Years.

Join Loraine In A No Cost, Zero Commitment Support Community For Women 

https://successwithloraine.com/free-group/

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In this episode, we delve into the inspiring journey of Candice Mason, founder of Mother Cuppa, a herbal tea brand dedicated to women's health. Candice shares how her personal experiences, including early menopause, motivated her to create a business that empowers women through wellness-focused teas. She discusses her challenges, launching a brand in her 40s, and offers insights into her crowdfunding event when she successfully raised over £7,000 towards launching a new blend for Mother Cuppa and building a purpose-driven business.

5 Key Takeaways:

Mother Cuppa is a brand of herbal tea that supports women's health; Candice originally took up a UK business start-up loan to get started.

Candice wanted to launch a new herbal tea blend in her product range. Asking for help from the customer base to find out what they would like.

Crowdfunding was the way forward, as Candice didn't like the idea of angel investing.

Support came from her husband, who assisted with the management of the rewards-based side of the campaign where there were nearly 60 female entrepreneurs who offered products and services to be sold during the campaign.

Success. The target of £7,000 was achieved within two days of the end date. In fact, they exceeded the target.

Candice highlights that she did not have vast numbers of followers on her Social media when she launched her crowdfunding campaign. It was all organic marketing.

5 Best Moments:

Being a female founder is a bit more tricky. There are barriers for women finding funding in a more male-dominated business world.

Candice launched three options to get involved in crowdfunding, straightforward donations, pre-sales and orders, and rewards offered for sale, donated by other female business founders and coaches.

The crowdfunding got off to a really good start; it made £1,500 in the first three hours on launch day.

Candice opens up on how she had to overcome her fears of failure before she launched. The original launch plan was January 2024. The launch opened in October 2024.

The strategy was organic marketing, social media, and a teaser to pique people's interest.

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In this episode of Mindset, Money, Success, Loraine explores how to turn dreams into reality, focusing on the mindset and actions needed to build her vision of a transformative Country Park. She shares 8 effective strategies to move from dreaming to doing, along with insights into her plans for a sustainable motorhome campsite and a trauma-to-transformation retreat. This inspiring conversation will help you align your vision, strategy, and action to achieve your goals.

5 Key Takeaways:

1. Clarify Your Vision: Define your dream and solidify your “why” to stay motivated.
2. Set a Deadline: A clear timeline turns dreams into actionable plans.
3. Take Daily Action: Consistent effort builds momentum and keeps you on track.
4. Overcome Doubts: Address fear, procrastination, and negativity with strategies to stay focused.
5. Review and Adjust: Adapt your plans as you progress to ensure alignment with your evolving vision.

5 Best Moments:

1. Loraine explains why knowing your “why” is the key to overcoming criticism and negativity.
2. A powerful discussion on managing fear and self-doubt through visualization techniques.
3. Loraine’s step-by-step breakdown of creating realistic timelines and seeking investments.
4. Sharing her personal vision for the Country Park and its dual purpose for winter travellers and women’s retreats.
5. An invitation to join her free support group for women over 40, offering a safe space to heal and rebuild.

Links

Amazon Merch Collections

Free Support Group

Country Park Vision

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In this episode, Loraine describes her harrowing experience of post-separation abuse after the end of an 11-year relationship. She details the systemic failures she encountered within the justice system and the lack of support she received from organizations meant to help survivors of gender-based violence. Loraine shares how she was pressured to accept an unfair financial settlement, faced threats and intimidation, and endured a prolonged legal battle marked by false allegations and manipulative tactics from her ex-partner.

Best Moments:

● Loraine's powerful account of her ex-partner's "four-sentence discard speech" after he moved their belongings to Spain.

● The chilling description of the escalating threats and intimidation she faced, including the arbitrary four-month deadline set by her ex-partner.

● The audio clip from the recorded meeting where her ex-partner's controlling and abusive behaviour is audible.

● Loraine's persistent efforts to navigate the legal system, seek help from various organizations and fight for her rights despite numerous setbacks and conflicting advice.

● The ultimate dismissal of all charges against Loraine and her determination to share her story to raise awareness and advocate for change.

Key Takeaways:

● Post-separation abuse is a serious issue that often goes unrecognized and unsupported.

● The legal system can be a challenging and even hostile environment for survivors of abuse, especially when dealing with emotional and psychological abuse.

● It is crucial to document all instances of abuse and seek support from trusted sources.

● Women in cohabiting relationships may face unique legal challenges and receive less protection than married women.

● Speaking out about abuse and advocating for systemic change is essential to improving the experiences of survivors.

Success With Loraine Merch

Self-Care and Narissist Aware Collection

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In this episode, Loraine describes her experience of post-separation abuse by her former partner in Spain. She details the legal battles she endured, including accusations of defamation and the "precarious" eviction process she faced. Loraine highlights the emotional toll of the abuse, emphasizing the manipulative tactics used by her former partner, including emotional devaluation and financial control. She shares her personal journey of healing and self-discovery, offering support and resources for others experiencing similar situations.

Link to SLAPP litigations

Link to Weaponising Defamation

Key Takeaways

● Post-separation abuse is a serious issue. The story illustrates the different forms this abuse can take, including legal threats, financial manipulation, and emotional abuse.

● The legal system doesn't always protect victims. Despite clear evidence of abuse, Loraine was forced to fight a lengthy legal battle and was advised to file a gender violence complaint, which she was reluctant to do.

● Emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse. Loraine describes the "emotional devaluation" she experienced, highlighting the insidious nature of this type of abuse.

● Forgiveness can be exploited by abusers. Loraine's attempt to forgive her partner was met with continued manipulation and control.

● Recovery and empowerment are possible. This journey demonstrates the importance of speaking out, seeking support, and reclaiming one's identity after experiencing abuse.

Best Moments

● The moment Loraine learns the criminal case against her was dismissed. A powerful moment to emphasize relief and vindication.

● The revelation of the partner's confession and his ongoing affair. This moment highlights the emotional abuse and manipulation experienced.

● The description of the partner's angry outburst during their recorded meeting. Sharing the audio clip in the podcast makes this moment even more impactful, illustrating the intimidation and threats Loraine faced.

● The decision to publish the recording on YouTube and include the transcript in her book. This showcases her courage and determination to expose the abuse and empower other victims.

● The book's success, written under the pen name Loren Keeling, reached Number 1 on Amazon UK in the "Self Help for Abuse" category. This is a triumphant moment, signifying her resilience and the positive impact she's making.

Success With Loraine Merch

Self-Care and Narissist Aware Collections

★☆★ Follow Me Here ★☆★

Buy Me A Coffee - Help Start A Non-Profit Association

Supportive community for women over 40 who are dealing with trauma or grief from relationship endings, providing a safe space for connection, resources, and transformation. No Cost, Zero Commitment, Support Community for Women over 40.

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In this episode, Loraine delves into the manipulation and gaslighting she experienced from the person who was part of her life for eleven years. Apart from not being able to negotiate, he controlled the process by dangling the offers while at the same time threatening to leave me with nothing while reducing the offer from €115,000 to €13,000 or nothing at all.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

You can not negotiate with me ´what Loraine's former partner had told her.

Legal advice that told me to file a gender violence complaint.

The former couple's joint solicitor was not very helpful, as he told Loraine she had no rights in Spain.

Six failed attempts at trying to negotiate or mediate. Gaslighting and psychological abuse. As the former partner kept changing his mind.

Introducing the new wife in July 2021, on the day we met to try and sort out a financial settlement. A red flag in the cycle of abuse is triangulation.

BEST MOMENTS

Loraine's former partner turned hostile after he ended the relationship.

Loraine thought that her former partner would end things amicably. She was shocked by how he changed his behaviour very quickly.

A meeting they had to discuss things turned into intimidation and threats of being thrown out of the door.

Regarding the proposal Loraine made to her former partner, he said, "That's a terribly terribly terribly bad idea, and it's not going to happen."

The eviction process was started by a Barcelona Solicitor in June 2021, yet Loraine obtained a signed agreement in July 2021.

★☆★ Follow Me Here ★☆★

https://linktr.ee/loraine_mms

Success With Loraine Merch

Self-Care and Narissist Aware Collection

https://successwithloraine.com/merch/

You can also join the Author in a no-cost, zero-commitment support community. 

Trauma to Transformation for women aged 40+

https://successwithloraine.com/free-group/

Buy Me A Coffee - Help Start A Non-Profit Association

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Podcast Interview: Meet Jez Wood from Kove Properties this week!
Failure is Part Of Success. 
#Mindset #Money #Success
In this episode, Loraine Marshall interviews guest Jez Wood. Jez shares his story of starting Kove Properties just before 2020 when he and his business partner were furloughed from their main employment. He explains how this gave him the impetus to create the business and move faster. Jez recognised that through fear and chaos, there was opportunity. They set up a remote business in different locations. They use their knowledge of the Northeast locations to offer property investments to individuals who are time-poor and seeking a stable investment and passive income type. Jez has a podcast called Beyond The Fail; he interviews other business entrepreneurs who speak about failures and acknowledge how failure is often seen as a taboo; there is a shame around debt and business failure, and Jez recognises that failure can be part of success. Jez covers the taboo of mental health and talks about how therapy has helped him since 2020.

KEY TAKEAWAYS
Seize Opportunity in Crisis: Moments of chaos can reveal new possibilities. Remote Work Can Be Effective: Location doesn’t limit business if you have the right expertise. Failure as a Learning Tool: Embrace and learn from failure as part of the entrepreneurial journey.
Mental Health Matters: Seeking help is crucial for personal and business success. Stay Resourceful: Perseverance is essential in the face of setbacks and challenges.

BEST MOMENTS
Starting Kove Properties: Jez describes the decision to launch Kove while furloughed, turning a challenge into an opportunity.
Remote Business Success: Insights on building a business remotely and leveraging local expertise for clients.
Taboo of Failure: Jez’s views on why failure shouldn’t be stigmatized, sharing examples from his experiences.
Mental Health Discussion: Jez opens up about therapy's role in his life since 2020.
The Importance of Resilience: Jez reflects on resilience, growth, and pushing through fear.

Kove Properties https://koveproperties.co.uk/
Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/jezwood/
Podcast Beyond The Fail
https://www.youtube.com/@BeyondTheFailPodcast/videos
Episode with Mark Lloyd - I Hit Rock Bottom
https://youtu.be/PhINkXa_Dgk?si=6lxZZwhuTkTTF4Hu

Buy Me A Coffee - Help Start A Non-Profit Association https://buymeacoffee.com/successwithloraine
Podcast YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/@successwithloraine/podcasts
“Discover Our Best-Selling T-Shirts”
MERCH: https://successwithloraine.com/merch/

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In this episode, Loraine delves into her personal experiences surrounding domestic violence and financial manipulation during her tumultuous relationship with her former partner. As October marks Domestic Violence Awareness Month, Loraine shares insights from her July 2021 email communications, revealing the emotional and financial tactics. Loraine discusses the conflicting legal advice she received, the emotional manipulation involving her deceased father, and the power dynamics that persisted even after their separation.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• The episode highlights the tactics used by a former partner to maintain control over the host, including emotional manipulation and financial coercion.

• The dynamics between the host and her former partner illustrate a significant power imbalance. The partner leverages financial resources and emotional tactics to exert control.

• Loraine discusses the criticism received for sharing personal experiences on social media, emphasizing the importance of having a support network and the challenges faced when communicating one's truth publicly.

• The episode outlines the difficulties encountered in the legal process, including conflicting advice from legal professionals and the manipulation of financial offers during mediation.

• Loraine is dedicated to creating a supportive community for women over 40 who are dealing with trauma or grief from relationship endings, providing a safe space for connection, resources, and transformation.
  
  

No Cost, Zero Commitment, Support Community for Women over 40 https://successwithloraine.com/free-group/
https://www.youtube.com/@successwithloraine/podcasts
Merch: https://successwithloraine.com/merch/

★☆★ Follow Me Here ★☆★
https://linktr.ee/loraine_mms

BEST MOMENTS

"The conflicting advice then was, do not make any more gender violence complaints. You will make him angry."

"P's behaviour... aligns with the pattern of a perpetrator seeking to maintain control and silence their victim."

"He uses a tactic that I wrote about in my first book. DARVO, an acronym... based on the work of psychologist Jennifer Freed."

"This constant shifting of terms keeps Loraine in a state of uncertainty and insecurity."

"Money and legal actions are the weapons that manipulators use to emotionally and financially devastate their victims."

HOST BIO

Loraine is a blogger, digital creator, and author.
A former property management business owner spent a decade in HMO and family rentals before moving to Spain in 2016. She had dreams of becoming fully retired and living in Spain with her partner, but that dream shattered in September 2020. 

Loraine explains how she has now experienced the three D's in relationship endings. Divorce, death of a partner, and now discard, the abrupt termination of a relationship. 

Currently working on rebuilding her life whilst living with three overlapping litigations post-separation including the threat of precarious eviction by a former partner.

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