Mindset Money Success

Welcome to another episode of Mindset Money Success. Host Loraine welcomes Dr. Cornelia Kawann, an electrical engineer turned Personal Energy Strategist.

Cornelia works to show busy women how to manage their energy—their most precious asset—instead of merely focusing on time management. They discuss the power of energy hacks, the challenges of writing a book quickly, and why addressing energetic blocks is essential for long-term success. Cornelia explains that by managing their energy, women can ensure they have the vitality needed to follow their goals, make an impact, and live the life they truly desire.

Best Moments

Science of Personal Energy: Cornelia, a scientist by background, explains she found many similarities between electric energy principles, like Ohm’s law and resistance, and personal energy, leading her to experiment and develop her energy strategies.

Rapid Writing Process: After figuring out it made sense to compile her developed exercises into one place, Cornelia completed the first draft of her book in just 16 weeks. However, she found that the editing, formatting, and publishing process took just as long, if not longer.

Overcoming Blockades: The guest highlights that long writing processes often result from "energy blockades" and limiting beliefs (like shame or fear of failure) holding authors back. She stresses the importance of looking into and removing these internal blocks to allow flow.

Heart-Brain Exercise: Cornelia shares a practical, easy energy hack for achieving an optimal state of efficiency: place your left hand on your heart and your right hand on your forehead, and state, "I bring my heart and brain into coherence now." This exercise helps synchronise the heart and brain cycles to "calibrate the system".

Healing Trauma Without Reliving It: Cornelia notes that her energy work is particularly effective for people with traumas because the method focuses on removing problematic frequencies and stored emotions without requiring the client to re-enter the difficult situation, thus avoiding re-traumatisation.

Key Takeaways

Energy Management: If you feel miserable, focusing solely on time management is ineffective. Energy is your most precious asset, and managing it ensures you have the power to live the life you want.

Root Cause: Affirmations and positive beliefs can raise frequency, but they often act as a "band aid" over underlying limiting beliefs. For a sustainable shift, it is necessary to identify the root cause of the problem—which manifests as a low frequency—and remove it from your energy system.

Internal Blockages: If things are not working out as expected in life or business (such as publishing delays), it's important to look inward and address internal fears or energies that may be preventing progress.

Links To Connect to Dr Cornelia Kawann

Check out my book “Change Your Energy – Change Your Life”

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Podcast Host Loraine

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In This weeks episode Loraine covers Mindset shift (Permission to start over), Practical strategy (The zero-based restart), and New beginning (Taking confident action).

5 Best Moments

1. Redefining Your Enough: Loraine shares that recovery isn't about dwelling on what you've lost, but about redefining your enough. Instead of focusing on past numbers, we must redefine success based on a feeling of security and peace, identifying our "current enough" starting today.
2. The Forced Financial Declutter : Financial setbacks should be viewed as a forced financial declutter, not a failure. The upside is gaining total clarity and the wisdom of experience, which becomes a vital asset.
3. The Wisdom Bank and Zero-Based Approach : The concept of the Experience and Skills Audit, or "Wisdom Bank," is introduced. This involves thinking about skills unconsciously mastered over the past 40 years—through employment, hobbies (like gardening or cooking), or creative pursuits—which can be monetised by becoming a niche content creator.
4. Low-Cost Launch Strategy : The true zero-based approach involves getting started with a low-cost launch, utilising tools you already possess, like your mobile phone camera and existing knowledge. The only investment required is time and consistency.
5. AI as Your Digital Mentor : Loraine suggests using AI tools (like Gemini, Google, or Perplexity) as a free business mentor and problem solver, providing clarity and guidance to overcome blocks. A powerful prompt example is shared to analyse time tracking against 90-day goals and suggest effective changes.

5 Key Takeaways

1. Permission to Start Over: When facing financial devastation, emotional thinking is often driven by fear and uncertainty, screwing up decision-making capacity. Grant yourself permission to let go of the past and start over, moving away from dwelling on what you’ve lost.
2. Success via Small Decisions: Success is achieved through a series of consistent small decisions made daily, not through one big leap or single finish line. Use a Decision Audit to ensure your daily actions are moving you closer to your goal of consistent monthly income ("your current enough").
3. Monetise Your Expertise: Leverage your unique experience, resilience, and knowledge—your most valuable assets—and turn them into shareable content. There are many ways to monetise, even before reaching traditional follower counts, such as offering coaching or selling digital products.
4. Strategic Content Batching: Plan your daily actions in advance and schedule them. A practical step is to choose one day per week to batch create short videos (7, 15, or 60 seconds) to ensure you have a week's or month's worth of content scheduled and ready to post.
5. Define and Achieve 90-Day Goals: Clarity on what you want to achieve in the next 90 days makes it easier to determine the necessary actions you should be taking on your journey toward financial security. The goal is to use the clarity gained from the zero-based restart to fuel intentional movement towards your new financial goal.

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Introduction

On this episode of Mindset, Money, Success, host Loraine Marshall tackles the journey of recovering from emotional, psychological, and financial abuse. Drawing on her own story and others, Loraine explores post-separation "litigation abuse," the systemic challenges survivors face, and how to turn trauma into a powerful force for advocacy and change.

5 Best Moments

1. The Vow to Write: The night her relationship ended, Loraine made a vow: "I'm going to write the book". She shares how this pivotal decision was the first step in reclaiming her story, leading to her book's publication.
2. Vindication in Court: Loraine recounts her stunning legal victory in a Spanish court, where she faced serious criminal allegations that carried a potential 17-year prison sentence. She reveals the moment of ultimate triumph when all charges were completely dismissed.
3. The Birth of an Advocate: Learn the inspiring story of Tina Swithin, who started her blog "One Mum's Battle" in 2011 to document a decade-long family court struggle. Discover how her personal battle transformed into a global educational resource, helping thousands of women.
4. The Unmarried Woman's Plight: Loraine exposes a critical legal loophole, explaining how family laws in the UK and much of Europe often fail to protect unmarried women. This legal gap leaves many financially devastated after a long-term, controlling relationship ends.
5. From Survivor to Coach: An empowering call to action reveals how lived experience with trauma is a valuable asset. Lorraine explains how survivors can channel their journey into positive action, becoming certified coaches and advocates to help others who are struggling.

5 Key Takeaways

1. Empowerment Begins with Education: Abusers often work to destroy a partner's self-esteem. Reclaim your independence by educating yourself through books, online courses, or volunteering to gain new skills, increase earning potential, and rebuild your self-worth.
2. Recognise the Multiple Faces of Abuse: Abuse isn't just emotional; it often involves financial entrapment that makes leaving feel impossible. After separation, it can become "litigation abuse," where the legal system itself is weaponised to maintain power and control.
3. Your Story Has Power: Sharing your experience through a blog or book, as both Lorraine and Tina Swithin did, is a profound form of healing. Your story can create a community and become a vital educational resource for others who feel alone.
4. Understand the System's Shortcomings: Be aware that family courts are often ill-equipped to handle cases involving parents with personality disorders who manipulate the process. If you are unmarried, you may lack the financial and legal protections given to married couples in the UK and much of Europe.
5. Transform Your Trauma into a Positive Force: Your lived experience is an asset that can be transformed into something positive. With training and support, you can use your unique insights to become a certified coach or advocate, helping other women overcome the very traumas you have survived.

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In this episode, your host, Loraine Marshall, covers the subject of post-separation abuse, drawing on her own experiences over the last five years. Loraine structures the episode by asking and answering seven questions, exposing what this form of abuse looks like, who is most at risk, and its profound impact on a survivor's life.

5 Best Moments

1. Loraine contrasts a typical breakup with post-separation abuse. Most couples can negotiate terms through discussion or mediation, but post-separation abuse occurs when a dominant, high-conflict personality is determined to use litigation and control from the outset, offering their ex-partner no say in the matter. It's their way or no way at all.

2. Loraine shares how she only realised her own relationship had been abusive at its end. The most shocking point was when her lawyer advised her to file a complaint of gender violence with the police, a moment that was a "massive shock" and highlighted the hidden nature of coercive control.

3. Loraine offers a transformative perspective on the psychological aftermath of abuse. She argues that post-traumatic stress (PTS) from emotional, psychological, and financial abuse should not be seen as a "disorder". Instead, it should be classified as a "personal injury"—a natural response to trauma, just as a broken bone is an injury from physical violence.

4. The manipulative tactic abusers use is known as DARVO: Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender. Loraine explains how abusers deny any wrongdoing and attack the real victim, twisting the narrative so completely that the victim is portrayed as the abuser. She shares that she was personally caught up in this type of situation.

5. How the legal system can re-traumatise survivors. Loraine highlights how some solicitors advise women not to mention the abuse in family court proceedings, leaving them unable to speak about what happened. This, combined with a lack of understanding of high-conflict personalities by judges and legal professionals, can lead to prolonged litigation abuse that traps women for five to ten years.

5 Key Takeaways

1. The period after a breakup can be the most dangerous time for a victim of a controlling relationship. The abuser's need for control can heighten when they feel they are losing their "possession," leading to escalated aggression, threats, and intimidation.

2. The legal disparity between married and unmarried couples. In the UK and across much of Europe, cohabiting partners are not covered by family laws for financial settlements unless they have a prior written agreement. This leaves the economically weaker party, often the woman, with little legal recourse.

3. Post-separation abuse is not a single act but a pattern of behaviour. It can include intimidation through texts and emails, stalking (both in-person and online), threats of litigation, and financial coercion through derisory settlement ultimatums with no room for negotiation.

4. The chronic stress from post-separation abuse has severe consequences for a survivor's well-being. It can lead to psychological impacts like loss of self, PTSD, and anxiety, as well as physical manifestations such as a weakened immune system and heart or stomach issues.

5. Survivors are often stuck in "survival mode" and cannot begin to rebuild their lives until all litigation is over. The constant stress erodes self-confidence and affects memory, making it incredibly difficult to find employment, manage finances, or even perform daily tasks like getting out of bed.

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Host Loraine Marshall returns after a break, revisiting a chapter from her first book. She shares the transcript of a deeply personal meeting held five years ago. What was intended as a discussion about financial proposals after a breakup quickly escalated, leading to civil and criminal litigation for various offences, including defamation, harassment, and theft. Loraine reflects on this harrowing experience, highlighting the one-sided nature of the meeting and the verbal aggression she endured.

Key Moments & Takeaways

The meeting was not a negotiation; it was an imposition of demands. From the start, Loraine's ex-partner shut down her alternative proposals, stating she "hadn't listened" to what he wanted. He then told her to "go away and think about it," despite her already having a detailed proposal prepared. This demonstrated his complete disregard for her input.

Loraine reveals a history of control and verbal abuse that preceded the meeting. She reflects on her inability to communicate effectively with him, a pattern that began after he confessed to an affair. She realised he consistently used verbal aggression—raising his voice, saying "nasty" things, and getting angry—to silence her. This created a dynamic where her voice was suppressed.

The severity of his behaviour was underscored when a Spanish solicitor, after hearing a recorded clip of the meeting, advised Loraine to file a gender violence complaint. In the clip, her ex-partner is heard using aggressive and threatening language, while banging his fist down on the glass table, shouting, "I'll make it the 15th of fucking November if I want to. Don't fuck about with me. I've told you 4 months.".

Throughout the meeting, he employed threats and belittling remarks to maintain dominance. He warned her, "You've had one strike already," and told her to "just be careful how you tread," suggesting her future security depended on him. He further escalated his aggression by calling her a "fucking bleeding heart, post-menopausal, sad old bitch."

This single meeting didn't bring about an amicable end to the relationship. Instead, it marked the beginning of legal intimidation for Loraine, who was left in confusion, fear, trauma, and financially vulnerable. She describes being left without work and limited savings, with her ex-partner referring to her as "collateral damage." The situation post-discard ultimately led to her ex-partner taking both civil litigation for eviction and criminal allegations for defamation, slander, harassment, revealing secrets, misappropriation, theft, and damages.

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Listener discretion is advised *Language Warning* strong, potentially offensive language.

In this deeply personal episode, Loraine shares her experience of psychological and economic abuse within an intimate relationship in Spain. Drawing on her lived reality and reflecting against the GREVIO report on Spain’s implementation of the Istanbul Convention, she uncovers the systemic failings of legal, judicial, and social support structures meant to protect women. From conflicting legal advice to court-appointed lawyers who failed her, and the trauma of eviction proceedings where her voice was silenced, Loraine exposes how women, especially foreign nationals, can be retraumatised by institutions meant to help them. This episode is a must-listen for survivors, advocates, and anyone seeking to understand the hidden dynamics of financial control and legal manipulation in abusive relationships.

Best Moments

“Stay in the property. Call the police if threatened. Negotiate.”

— The legal advice Loraine received, which contrasts sharply with what she later learned about prohibited mediation in abuse cases.

“You’ll leave with nothing.” A chilling shift from an agreed financial settlement to hostile legal actions by her ex-partner.

“I was denied a voice to speak.” Loraine’s description of the eviction hearing, where, despite securing a translator, no one asked her to testify or present her evidence.

“Imagine you’re struggling in the sea…” A powerful metaphor captures the despair of economic abuse, likening it to an abuser snatching away a lifeline while watching the victim drown.

“He said: ‘Your future security depends on having me on your side." A direct quote that exemplifies coercion, power imbalance, and the emotional manipulation central to economic violence.

Key Takeaways

Legal Systems Often Fail to Protect Survivors - inconsistent legal representation, poor communication, and ignorance of international conventions leave survivors vulnerable.

Economic Abuse Is a Hidden, Ongoing Form of Control - Post-breakup financial manipulation—like withdrawing settlement offers or initiating costly litigation—can trap survivors in prolonged trauma.

Mediation in Abuse Cases Is Prohibited—But Still Happens - Despite Article 48 of the Istanbul Convention, survivors are often pushed into negotiation with abusers under the guise of “amicable” settlements.

Being a Foreigner Adds Layers of Vulnerability - Language barriers, lack of support networks, and discriminatory treatment from legal and social systems increase risks for migrant women.

There Must Be Accountability and Continuity in Legal Support - Survivors need consistent legal help from professionals trained to identify abuse patterns—not just procedural conflict, so they are not silenced or misrepresented.

“Spain – Istanbul Convention Action against violence against women and domestic violence”

STUDY OF ECONOMIC VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN IN THEIR RELATIONSHIPS WITH PARTNERS OR EX-PARTNERS PDF

SEA: https://survivingeconomicabuse.org/

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Will The Real Victim Please Stand Up?

How can professionals tell who is the real victim after a relationship with the Narcissist ends?

In this powerful episode, Loraine looks at the aftermath of narcissistic abuse—how professionals, courts, and even loved ones often struggle to identify the "real victim" when a toxic relationship ends.

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Narcissists are master manipulators, rewriting history, gaslighting, and playing the victim to evade accountability. Meanwhile, actual survivors are left traumatised, isolated, and struggling to articulate their pain. Drawing from personal experience, expert insights (like Dr. Ramani’s), and harrowing case studies, we expose the stark differences between a "false victim" (the narcissist) and an "actual victim" (the survivor). If you’ve ever wondered why victims aren’t believed—or how abusers weaponise the system—this episode is for you.

Best Moments from the Episode:

1. Dr. Ramani’s Stark Truth: "All domestic abusers are narcissistic. Zero empathy, incredible arrogance—that’s narcissism."

2. The Survivor’s Fog: Why true victims often sound "chaotic" when recounting abuse, while narcissists deliver smooth, calculated lies.

3. DARVO Exposed: How narcissists *Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender* to manipulate professionals.

4. Courtroom Betrayal: The shocking reality of how survivors are re-traumatised by legal systems that dismiss covert abuse.

5. Life After Abuse: Why true victims isolate themselves, while narcissists move on instantly—new relationships, social media bragging, and no remorse.

Equality Now - Human Rights Issues

https://equalitynow.org/news_and_insights/weaponizing-defamation-lawsuits-against-survivors-violates-international-human-rights/

Key Takeaways:

1. Spot the Patterns: True victims show PTSD symptoms (anxiety, confusion); false victims appear detached, entitled, and hyper-articulate.

2. Trauma vs. Tactics: Survivors self-blame and grieve; narcissists weaponise victimhood to "win" at all costs.

3. Systemic Failure: Courts often mistake a survivor’s anger for instability while believing the narcissist’s charm.

4. Silence Isn’t Consent: Many victims don’t report abuse due to fear, trauma bonds, or shame—not because it didn’t happen.

5. Healing is Possible: Recovery starts with therapy, community, and the realisation that you were never the problem.

Support the Mission: Help raise awareness of hidden abuse—share this episode, grab a copy of my book, or donate to support survivors.

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In this powerful episode, Loraine sits down with bestselling author, podcaster, and speaker Dana Diaz to discuss the harrowing yet transformative journey of surviving narcissistic abuse. From childhood trauma to toxic relationships, Dana shares her story of resilience, healing, and reclaiming self-worth. This conversation is a must-listen for anyone who’s experienced manipulation, gaslighting, or emotional abuse—and seeks the strength to break free.

Narcissistic Abuse Follows a Predictable Cycle

• Love-bombing, devaluation, and discard phases keep victims trapped in hope and confusion.

Childhood Trauma Sets the Stage

• Dysfunctional upbringing (e.g., parentification, emotional neglect) primes individuals to tolerate abuse in adulthood.

The Physical Toll of Abuse

• Prolonged stress can manifest as autoimmune disorders, chronic illness, or extreme weight loss (Dana’s lung syndrome).

Financial Control as a Weapon

• Narcissists exploit financial dependence to maintain power, then blame victims for "using" them.

Healing Requires Rebuilding Self-Trust

• Setting boundaries, therapy, and writing (like Dana’s journal-to-book journey) are critical to recovery.

"He was trying to kill me without getting his hands dirty."

• Dana’s chilling realization about her ex-husband’s psychological warfare.

"I internalized the words: ‘Nobody will ever love you.’"

• How childhood verbal abuse shaped Dana’s vulnerability to toxic relationships.

The COVID Journal of Survival

• Dana hid a journal under the couch during lockdown, fearing her ex would murder her and stage it as an accident.

"If my daughter told me this, I’d rescue her—yet I stayed."

• Dana's reflection on the disconnect between self-worth and protecting loved ones.

"Abuse is abuse, and an a-hole is an a-hole."

• The blunt truth about narcissists’ universal playbook, regardless of geography or laws.

You can discover more at https://danasdiaz.com/

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In this episode, Loraine shares her four-year battle with a legal system that failed her as a survivor. Through her lived experience, she reveals misguided legal advice and legal barriers faced by women seeking justice. If you’ve ever felt silenced by the system, this episode is for you.

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5 Key Takeaways:

• Legal Systems Often Fail Survivors: How victims are frequently dismissed, given conflicting advice, or pressured into actions they’re uncomfortable with.
• Advocacy: Without a lawyer who truly listened or advocated for her needs, survivors face bureaucratic dead ends—highlights the critical need for trauma-informed legal representation.
• Hidden Abuse Goes Unrecognized: Her case was downgraded from psychological abuse to minor verbal abuse by the courts, exposing how systems minimize non-physical violence.
• Financial Coercion as a Weapon: Manipulation continued through broken financial promises (reneged offers for a monetary settlement), a tactic many survivors face. :
• Staying Strong: Despite setbacks, Loraine persisted—researching laws, writing a book, and fighting for her rights—proving survival is possible even when systems work against you.

5 Best Moments:

Solicitor’s Shocking Advice (0:13–4:12)

• The lawyer insisted she file a gender violence complaint, ignoring her plea for negotiation—a pivotal failure in the system.

Triggering Legal Threats (10:47–11:17)

• The gut-wrenching email from her ex’s lawyer: "The judge will order your eviction—you have no rights in this country."

Courtroom Betrayal (19:02–20:21)

• A lawyer dismissed evidence, reducing years of abuse to "one minor verbal incident"—a stark example of systemic failure.

Appeal Denied (22:44–23:48)

• The free lawyer wouldn't appeal —another institutional failure.

Systemic Failures (26:09–26:26)

• “These are the systemic failures in the system. There should be a set process in place so that when someone presents with the issue, they can go through this or that. There should be a flow chart of how to proceed.”

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Wellness, Writing, and Winning: A Conversation with Katie Gauthier #mindset #money #success

In this episode of Mindset Money Success, host Loraine Marshall sits down with Katie Gauthier, an international bestselling author, wellness coach, and yoga teacher. Katie shares her journey of co-authoring the book Becoming the Manifesting Diva: Making Ripples While You Flow, which became an instant bestseller across multiple countries. Together, they dive into the power of mindset, overcoming trauma, and how to reframe limiting beliefs to create a life of success and fulfilment. Katie also opens up about her unique approach to coaching, blending yoga and mindset work to help clients release emotional blockages and thrive. Tune in for an inspiring conversation about resilience, collaboration, and the importance of moving forward, no matter the setbacks.

5 Key Takeaways:

Mindset is Everything: Katie emphasizes that most challenges stem from negative self-beliefs or mindset blocks. By addressing these, individuals can unlock their potential and create lasting change.

Trauma-Informed Coaching: Katie’s approach combines mindset coaching with yoga to help clients release emotional and physical blockages, especially those rooted in trauma.

The Power of Collaboration: Katie’s journey as a co-author highlights the importance of collaboration and how working with others can lead to incredible opportunities, like becoming an international bestselling author.

Reframing Setbacks: Both Loraine and Katie discuss how setbacks can be reframed as opportunities for growth. By asking, “What is this trying to teach me?” you can turn challenges into stepping stones.

Resilience in the Face of Adversity: Loraine shares her personal story of overcoming trauma and legal battles, emphasizing the importance of persistence and self-belief in the face of life’s toughest challenges.

5 Best Moments:

Katie’s Bestseller Journey: Katie shares how she became a co-author of an international bestselling book, Becoming the Manifesting Diva, and the serendipitous connections that made it possible. (00:02:00)

The Intersection of Yoga and Mindset: Katie explains how she blends yoga with mindset coaching to help clients release emotional blockages and reconnect with their true selves. (00:10:00)

Loraine’s Story of Resilience: Loraine opens up about her traumatic experiences, including a toxic relationship and legal battles, and how she found the strength to keep moving forward. (00:25:00)

Reframing Limiting Beliefs: Katie discusses her process of helping clients reframe limiting beliefs, turning self-doubt into empowerment. (00:15:00)

Celebrating Failure: Both Loraine and Katie talk about the importance of learning from failure and how it can be a powerful tool for growth. (00:40:00)

Find Katie on Instagram @therealkatieofalltrades

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