Mindset Unlimited: Tips, Tools, and Inspiration for Women in a Time of Change

The experience of burnout exists beyond the 9 to 5, though we mostly hear it talked about in relation to being an employee for a company. In most studies, the number one factor identified as the cause of burnout is a boss. Many entrepreneurs leave the corporate burnout culture in order to have the freedom and fulfillment of being their own boss. However, the patterns of burnout aren’t unique to corporate, they are embedded in American culture and without deprogramming those patterns, we become that boss for ourselves. Hustle culture in entrepreneurship is just another form of burnout culture in corporate. Not to mention, wherever you go, there you are… so these patterns show up in other areas too… like parenting. I believe you deserve better. You deserve to love your job and to have an amazing boss.

 
 In this episode of Unlimited, I’m exploring how to prevent burnout and be the best boss of your own life.

Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include:

• When “lazy” isn’t the issue
• The point of worrying
• What is burnout and causes of it
• Setting clear and reasonable expectations for yourself
• The drain of feeling out of control
• How to shift burnout dynamics

Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  @unlimitedcoachval
 
I love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions.
You can shoot me an email at [email protected] or DM me on Instagram
 
AND don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review the podcast!
 
 
LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:
2018 Gallup Report on Employee Burnout
2019 World Health Organization Report on Burnout
Article Psychology Today Burnout
Article Mayo Clinic Job Burnout
Episode #3 Understanding Your Stress Language
Episode #5 The Value of Rest
Episode #22 Creating Your Ideal Day
Episode #30 Learning and Living Outside the Box
Create Your Flow Course

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Learning and living outside the box makes the ability to think outside the box SO much more natural. Yet, while thinking outside the box is considered an asset in entrepreneurship and business, it’s isn’t very supported when it comes to education or how we do life. Our society gets so caught up in measuring sticks like standardized test scores and house sizes to determine whether someone is “doing well” in school and life. How often do you stop to think “How well is this really working for me?” Do you ever allow space to find another way that might work better? It’s not easy to do something different. It’s especially hard if you’re already overstressed. But it’s not as hard as you think and you don’t have to do it alone. Plus, perhaps it’s exactly what’s needed for you, your kid, and the world to be better.

In this episode of the Unlimited Podcast I invited Tiana Kubik to join me in a conversation around living and parenting by your own rules.

Some of what we cover in this episode include:

• Finding what works for you and your family
• The problem with toleration
• “Why?” and the power of curiosity
• Challenges stepping outside the box
• Understanding unschooling & the value in deschooling

 
Thank you for listening!

If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  @unlimitedcoachval

I love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions.
You can shoot me an email at [email protected] or DM me on Facebook or Instagram

AND don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review the podcast!

LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE
Episode #17 Learning to Trust Ourselves
Reggio Emilia Approach
Waldorf Approach
Dog Man Series

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Learn how to apologize meaningfully, if you truly want to be in integrity. Otherwise, you will likely end up repeating the harm that led to the need for an apology in the first place. We’ve seen this recently with a number of highly visible people. This isn’t surprising since, like so most aspects of relating to others in a healthy way, apologies aren’t something we’re taught how to do. However, I do find the blundering of the apology particularly ironic with those in the self-help space because the root of a meaningful apology is in personal growth. We all make mistakes. You don’t know what you don’t know, so mistakes are necessary for us to learn to do better. And that is the key… learning to do better. A true apology sets the foundation for being more of the person we say we want to be.

In this episode of Unlimited, I’m exploring the mindset and action when you learn how to apologize in a meaningful way.

Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include:

• When not to apologize
• Saying “it’s okay”, when it’s not okay
• Self-serving apologies vs healing apologies
• Humility vs Humiliation
• Creating space for learning and personal growth
• Setting healthy boundaries

Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  @unlimitedcoachval

I love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions.
You can shoot me an email at [email protected] or DM me on Instagram

AND don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!

LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:
Stop Being Nice and Start Being Resilient
YouTube – Friday Night Live with Emily D. Baker
Understanding Your Stress Language
Create Your Flow Course

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We need to stop being nice and start being resilient. Hurt feelings happen but we've been trained to avoid them, rather than how to process and deal with them in a productive way. This leads to codependent behaviors on an individual level and feeds problematic power dynamics on a societal level. This is emphasized in corporate culture etiquette and unconscious expectations on women to manage other people's (especially men's) emotional comfort. These expectations are often deeply internalized and keep us playing small as well as often lead us to perpetuate dysfunctional and harmful norms.  It is critical that we learn how to process our own emotions so we can show up with graceful resilience to support our ability to play fully in the world and create change in these problematic patterns.
 
 In this episode of Unlimited, I’m sharing my own experience of being told to “Google tact,” how I contributed to this dynamic during my time in corporate, and my insights now as a coach supporting emotional intelligence.

Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include:

• Corporate tone policing supporting success in a toxic structure
• Deconstructing identity stories that perpetuate problematic systems
• The importance of engaging emotions
• Allowing space for self-growth through discomfort
• The problem with the Golden Rule

Thank you for listening!
 
There is so much more to this topic and I'm feeling called to some deeper explorations within it. Possibly to share in a longer written format down the road...

Do you have a story that relates to this topic? I'd love for you to share it with me!

Please email it to me at [email protected] or DM me on Instagram @unlimitedcoachval
 
Of course, if you enjoyed this episode, please share it!
AND don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast!
 
 
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The number one relationship in your life is the one you have with yourself. It influences how you experience and engage every other relationship be it with people, situations, or resources. Interestingly though, your relationship with yourself is also built by all your other relationships. Most of the dynamics of your self-relationship happen in the background of your mind, unconsciously influencing what you notice around you, how you feel about what you notice, and how you then show up to those things. One step to feeling more in control of your life is to bring those self-relationship dynamics to consciousness and make active choices in how you develop this super important relationship.

In this episode of Unlimited, I’m diving into some tools to unlock awareness and taking charge of your relationship with yourself. 

Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include:

• Identifying obstacles like toxic individualism and comparisonitis
• The stories you tell about who you are
• Learning about yourself through others
• Identifying actions to retrain your brain
• The people you want on your support team 

Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  @unlimitedcoachval
 
 I love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions.
 You can shoot me an email at [email protected] or DM me on Instagram
 
 AND don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!
 
 LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:
#23 How to Plan for the Future AND Enjoy the Present
Susan David The gift and power of emotional courage TEDTalk
In and Of Itself by Derek DelGaudio on Hulu
Schedule a call with me

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Money stories. Many of the ones our society is swimming in are toxic. In order to change those stories and create healthier structures, we need to consciously engage them as individuals. I have many clients who are working to step out of lack mentality and create a greater sense of abundance in their life. They come from a variety of backgrounds and make anywhere from $0 staring out to 6 figures. The woman I’m coaching in this episode is a current client. She signed up for this session because, though we’ve already done a fair amount of work around money, she was still finding herself triggered in certain situations and wanted to dig in further.

In this episode of Unlimited, you’ll hear us explore internalized societal money stories and unlearning them to create mental freedom and empowered choices.

Some of what we engage in this episode include:

• Fear of disappointing family
• The difference between effort and suffering
• Defining work and what’s valuable
• Choosing your relationship with money

If you want to join the Life Visioning Workshop mentioned in this episode you can sign up HERE

Want to come but can’t make it? 
Email me at valerie@valeriefriedlander to let me know you’d like me to host it again!

Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  @unlimitedcoachval
 
 I love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions.
 You can shoot me an email at [email protected] or DM me on Instagram
 
 AND don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review the podcast!
 

LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:
Life Visioning Workshop
Apply to be coached on the podcast

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Growing up we learn to follow the rules, hustle to create success, if we make enough money we'll be happy and valuable... Most of these stories are rooted in toxic systems that reinforce harmful ways of engaging money and people. This doesn’t make money bad. But it does mean that we need an additional level of mindfulness to engage running a business that is sustainable and ethical in practice as well as product.  It takes cutting out the noise from all the “right way” gurus and following a path that you create based on your gifts, interests, and values. AND doing your own work to deprogram the unavoidably internalized hustle culture.

In this episode of the Unlimited Podcast I invited Erika Tebbens to join me in a conversation around being sustainable AND ethical as an entrepreneur.

Some of what we cover in this episode include:

• Creating systems that are aligned with your gifts and interests
• Mindset around pricing to be sustainable
• Tapping into your intuition to build your business
• Releasing shiny object syndrome
• Learning how to trust yourself and live in integrity
• And so much more!

Thank you for listening!
 If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  @unlimitedcoachval

I love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions.
You can shoot me an email at [email protected] or DM me on Instagram

AND don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!

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Rad Clients On Repeat
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Money is a topic we are obsessed with in this society. It’s incredibly sensitive, so we rarely talk about it directly. Yet we’re constantly surrounded by conversations related to it. Part of the reason is that there is a great deal of shame surrounding it – mostly in not having it, though for some there’s shame in having it that leads them to not have it. All this emotional weight and avoidance creates a very disempowering dynamic.  In order to reclaim this tool to build sustainable lives and businesses we must start by intentionally engaging our relationship with money.

In this episode of the Unlimited Podcast I invited Ornella E Yovo to join me in a conversation around developing tangible financial empowerment.

Some of what we talk about in this episode include:

• Why we avoid dealing with money and what avoidance can look like
• Building your financial muscles
• The problems with trying to “mindset” your way to wealth
• Creating sustainable habits around money
• Setting boundaries to strategically engage goals
• And more!

Thank you for listening!
If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  @unlimitedcoachval

I love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions.
You can shoot me an email at [email protected] or DM me on Instagram

AND don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!

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We're taught from a young age to look toward the future. That life really begins once something in the future happens, such as once you become the person you're going to be when you grow up. The problem is that this sets us up in a pattern of chasing, not having. Many clients come to me saying they have big dreams and want to make an impact in the world but they don't want to sacrifice the present moment. They believe both is possible but don't know HOW. It starts with relearning how to vision in a way that supports both the goal AND the journey.
 
 In this episode of Unlimited, I’m diving into how to engage visioning in a way that supports both achieving your goals AND enjoying your life.
 
 Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include:

• What exactly IS visioning
• Ways we learn to vision that actually sabotage us
• Overcoming fear of failure/fear of success
• The importance of having a purposeful vision
• Ways to engage creating a vision effectively for yourself or with others

I'm particularly passionate about this topic because it's been a big learning for me personally. I spent years building the life I thought you were supposed to have to be happy. I spent more years working to be in the present moment, not getting caught up in the future or the past. I ended up becoming really good at tolerating life, instead of fully living it. Learning how to vision as I describe in this episode was pivotal for me in feeling like I was truly owning my life.


Want support to create a vision that motivates you to action with both future goals and present enjoyment? Let's chat!


Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  @unlimitedcoachval

I love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions.
You can shoot me an email at [email protected] or DM me on Instagram

AND don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!
 
LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:
Episode 7 – Can I Make Plans Yet
Episode 22 - Creating Your Ideal Day YOUR Way
Life Visioning Workshop

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There are tons of books all about creating an ideal day or how to start your day so that you set yourself up for success. The problem with all these strategies is that they often tell you to do things that may not fit YOU and instead leave you feeling more frustrated and less productive. The truth is that your level of productivity will look different on different days and how you support your day needs to meet you where you’re at. At the same time, outlining what you want and creating routines are definitely helpful for productivity and life enjoyment. So, what’s the happy medium?

In this episode of Unlimited, I’m diving into how to create supportive foundations for making the most of your day.  

Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include:

• How to bake flexibility into your plans
• Determining routines that support you
• Meeting yourself where you’re at in creating new habits
• Understanding the relationship between time and energy
• Exercises to assess where you’re spending your energy

I went into survival mode with my time when Covid locked us all down, mostly feeling like all I had space for was whatever felt most pressing in that moment. Living like that can become a habit without you even realizing it isn’t necessary anymore, that you actually have at least some of your bearings back. It takes pausing to notice, assess, and envision something different in order to start shifting that way of being. Hopefully this episode helps you begin that process.

If you're interested in judgment-free support to holistically realign life and work to the person you want to be, let's talk. Just schedule a time on my calendar HERE

 Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  @unlimitedcoachval
 
 I love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions.
 You can shoot me an email at [email protected] or DM me on Instagram
 
 AND don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!
 
 LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:
 Episode 7 – Can I Make Plans Yet

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