OwlCast: The Leadership & Coaching Podcast

Misrespected: The Hidden Costs of Overused, Underused, and Misused RESPECT Styles


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Do your attempts at communication sometimes fall flat, leaving you and others frustrated? It's likely due to the hidden costs of Misrespected communication. In this episode, hosts David Morelli and William Oakley dive into how overusing, underusing, or misusing the 7 core Respect Styles—like being an exhausting "rah-rah" Rallier or an unapproachable Confidant—creates communication problems at work and in life. Learn to recognize these pitfalls in yourself and others to transform awkward, draining interactions into positive, impactful ones.

Key Topics:
  • The Core of Communication Problems: The primary issues in communication and relationships stem from the overuse, underuse, or misuse of our natural Respect Styles.
  • The Need for Balance and Variety: Effective communication requires using a variety of styles and being mindful that consistently defaulting to a single style (even a positive one) can lead to negative consequences like burnout (overuse) or stalled progress (underuse).
  • Perception is Reality in Communication: The success of a style depends heavily on the receiver's perception and the needs of the situation. What one person views as positive motivation (Rallier), another may view as exhausting pressure.
  • Misuse is Intentional or Accidental Damage: Misusing a style involves deploying it with an intent other than its ideal purpose (e.g., using a Reliever style to motivate through fear instead of purpose) or by letting negative emotions (like dissatisfaction or fear) bleed into the interaction.
  • The Cost of Underuse: Two of the most underutilized, yet impactful, styles are the Provocateur (challenging thinking) and Explorer (expanding thinking). A lack of these styles leads to costly, avoidable mistakes and organizational stagnation, which is why CEOs often specifically request a coach who will use the Provocateur style.
  • Transformer and Employee Retention: The lack of the Transformer style (conversations about personal growth and potential) is a major factor in employee turnover. Focusing on "who do you want to be" rather than just "where you want to be" helps people find meaning and purpose.
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OwlCast: The Leadership & Coaching PodcastBy David Morelli with Co-Host William Oakley

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