Moments Matter

The most important piece of furniture in your home is (arguably) the family dinner table. Today we talk about when I (Sonja) and Kevin turned off the TV and started eating at the table and how it changed our family relationships–and how it still has an affect today! We argue that cultivating healthy relationships with your kids starts while eating a meal together. We talk about: 

• How to start eating at the table with your kids even if you've never done it before (awkwarddd)
• Why it's PIVOTAL in family bonding
• The ways it keeps on giving (even when your kids are out of the house!)

Are you one of those moms that has to make the holidays as wonderful as possible for when your adult kids come home? It can be stressful, and sometimes you can burnout and get to the end of the time and not have enjoyed it at all! I (Sonja) have been there, and since then I've collected 5 tips that are absolute MUSTS at our home now for when "Camp Christmas" begins and our children (and grandchildren) arrive. 

If you're ready to tackle the holidays and actually enjoy yourself this year, listen in on today's episode to find out my (Sonja) secret holiday essentials to prepare before my kids even get to my house. Trust me, they make life a whole lot easier!

Too often we find ourselves caring about what other people think of us–and that means we can care too much about my appearance. When I (Sonja) think back to when I first had kids, my "appearance" took way too much time and energy, but I thought people would look down on me if I didn't spend the time dressing up. I share some stories from the past and from more recently of how I've dealt with it all.

- How much SHOULD we care about our appearance?

- What is an unhealthy balance and what's a good balance?

- Is makeup a sin?

- Do these choices affect our children?  

Just a few questions we try to tackle on today's episode of Moments Matter.

Brooke Sheesley, our guest and Sonja's best friend, took her daughter to college after years of raising her as a single mom and today she gets on the podcast to tell us about the experience of dropping her off at college and then coming back a few months later to realize her daughter had grown up, changed, and become someone she had get to know in a new light. Brooke talks about how she had to learn to build different foundations for their relationship. 

When her daughter came back home for the summer after her first year, they both had a lot to learn about what their "roles" are now as two adults. Brooke shares these experiences with amazing insight and helpful tips that will encourage other moms going through a similar season right now.

FREE GUIDE: go to bigmomentmentor.com/victory 

Or click on this link: Everyday Victory Over Conflict: 4 Steps for a Powerful Pivot from Surviving to Thriving

As you begin the journey of empty nesting, you may find you can make yourself way too busy or you feel completely paralyzed from doing anything whatsoever. Why is that? 

Sonja dives into what her empty nesting process has been, what she could have done differently in the beginning, and how she’s struggling now. Julia gives her some questions to think deeply about where she’s at right now… what IS her purpose now… or is that the question she should be really asking? 

•  What is the purpose of an empty nester as you take on new roles? 
•  How to NOT waste your time now that it’s “free” of the responsibility of having kids in your home
•  How technology (and scrolling on the phone or watching TV) has really played a large part in Sonja’s struggle 

Sonja turned 50! So in honor of her birthday, Julia wanted to get real and raw by asking her 10 questions that she hadn't heard before we started recording. We have some laughs, but we also receive some pearls of wisdom from a woman who has lived through some difficult seasons and come out the other side still trusting in the Lord. Would she change even the worst of circumstances and darkest seasons?

If you want to hear about family vacations, terrible car accidents, and the million different jobs Sonja had growing up in the 80s, tune in on today's episode. Hopefully we can encourage and uplift you today!

FREE GUIDE: go to bigmomentmentor.com/victory 

Or click on this link: Everyday Victory Over Conflict: 4 Steps for a Powerful Pivot from Surviving to Thriving

It's never too early (or too late) to teach your kids the value of money. Whether they're in middle school or they're adults and living on their own, you are an example to your children about what kind of legacy you want to leave when it comes to finances. Today we discuss Sonja and Kevin's early life with very little money, how they modeled the value of money to their kids, and what practical steps they took to show their kids how to handle their own finances. Kevin and Sonja started out with less than nothing–lots of debt!–and turned their lives around to make a better life for their kids. In the process, they taught their young teenage daughters what it is like to pay for the essentials out of their own pocket (but there was a twist there–they actually didn't earn it from chores). We answer questions like whether or not your teenage should get a job, what it looked like for their kids to have their own cars by the end of high school, and what giving generously can add to your life. 

FREE GUIDE: go to bigmomentmentor.com/victory 

Or click on this link: Everyday Victory Over Conflict: 4 Steps for a Powerful Pivot from Surviving to Thriving

We all have unhealthy patterns–are we aware of them, though? No one wants to become a bitter old woman later in life, but that's not always the case.

Today, we're talking about the unhealthy patterns and WHY they might be happening... and how to change them. It's not easy to let yourself be more self aware of what might be going on in the day-to-day conflict of life, but it's necessary to flourish and grow and enjoy your life (and have others enjoy you, too!). We dig deeper in the Enneagram and the Harmony Triad–are YOU a head, heart, or gut person? Find out where your unhealthy patterns start (by learning where your reactions start) on today's episode.  

Free Guide to the SNAP Tool: go to bigmomentmentor.com/victory 

Or click on this link: Everyday Victory Over Conflict: 4 Steps for a Powerful Pivot from Surviving to Thriving

Let's talk about traditional roles in marriage (and how they change in different seasons of marriage). It's a bit of a hot topic, but we should be having conversations about what a husband and wife do on a day-to-day basis to make the house run well. As empty nesters, Sonja and Kevin are reevaluating who does what chores and what roles they have, which made her realize she hasn't ever had a conversation with her girls about what we should do about traditional roles in the home. Here's what we discuss:

- Why many women get that "tensed up" feeling when anyone mentions "roles" in marriage

- Why this conversation of marriage roles NEEDS to happen over and over between a husband and wife

- How Sonja wishes she would have talked about roles in marriage with her girls before they got married

- How generational expectations can make things awkward in the first few years of marriage

FREE RESOURCE: go to bigmomentmentor.com/victory 

Or click on this link: Everyday Victory Over Conflict: 4 Steps for a Powerful Pivot from Surviving to Thriving