Moments Matter

If Sonja could go back and teach her kids these 3 lessons, she would. They would have had an easier transition from home to college and from college to marriage, and she spills her mistakes on today's episode. If you are still in the teenager stage, you may want to consider teaching these valuable lessons to your kids before they've moved out of the house! Even if they already have moved out though, it's never too late (and we talk about how it's never too late). We all have things we wish we would have done differently, and Sonja is certainly a human who makes mistakes (and she's ready to admit them to you in hopes you don't make the same ones). 

It’s time we change the stereotype of being “the annoying mother-in-law.” We all want to be loved by your kids' spouses and have good relationships with them, but it can get super tense when your adult children get married to someone you just don’t know that well. What can we do to relieve that tension and grow healthy relationships? We as Godly mother-in-laws need to be encouraging instead of feeding into or creating drama that might arise between your child’s spouse and you. 

Let’s be mother-in-laws that LOVE their daughter- and son-in-laws (and be mother-in-laws that they truly love, too)! But how do we do it when relationships are hard? Sonja and Julia dive into their personal experiences around both being a mother-in-law and having a mother-in-law. Sonja gives 4 biblical tips to be the mother-in-law your kids love instead of being the mother-in-law they roll their eyes over behind your back.

FREE GUIDE: go to bigmomentmentor.com/victory 

Or click on this link: Everyday Victory Over Conflict: 4 Steps for a Powerful Pivot from Surviving to Thriving

“My kid wants to date. What do I do now?” The classic panic attack we probably all feel or have felt as parents. A lot of times it happens earlier than we expect! Sonja had 3 daughters who ALL dated in high school, and she has a lot of experience… things that worked really well (and things that didn’t). Julia sprinkles her opinions in there, too. Here’s what we discuss:

• The 3 different kinds of dating you can choose for YOUR teen
• To date or not to date? What Sonja and Kevin decided for their girls
• Boundaries? Why are those even necessary?... they're just kids, right?
• Teenage Julia's take on some boundaries she had + what she would say about them now

Resources:

FREE GUIDE: go to bigmomentmentor.com/victory 

Or click on this link: Everyday Victory Over Conflict: 4 Steps for a Powerful Pivot from Surviving to Thriving

“Older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children…” Titus 2:4. Should WE be mentoring in the 21st century? What is a mentor and why are we commanded to mentor others? You might be asking yourself, “Wait, I’m not old enough or good enough to be a mentor, right?” Hm… Sonja and Julia talk about 4 myths that they’ve heard other women say about why they don’t mentor or don’t have a mentor (and some we’ve said ourselves and had to learn that they were lies!). We discuss:

• How old do you have to be to be a mentor?
• 4 lies about mentorship that just aren’t true
• Ways to be a mentor to other women
• Why mentorship is important in every woman’s life

Resources:

FREE GUIDE: go to bigmomentmentor.com/victory 

Or click on this link: Everyday Victory Over Conflict: 4 Steps for a Powerful Pivot from Surviving to Thriving

Resolved to divorce, both Sonja and Kevin head to a church harvest party. We left you on that heavy cliffhanger last week, and in this episode, we’ll not only be telling the rest of the story, but we’ll also be explaining what it’s like to tell your adult kids about your sinful past and how God's glory can shine through it all. We discuss: 

❤️ How Sonja and Kevin’s broken marriage healed

💔 How they told their adult kids about their sinful past

❣️The hardest thing Kevin’s ever had to do

❤️‍🩹 Faithfulness vs. perfection in parenting

We have our very first guest on Moments Matter today! And who other than Kevin Wallenbeck, Sonja’s husband and Julia’s dad? Sonja has been able to tell a lot of their background from her perspective, but we thought it would be insightful to our listeners (and hopefully encouraging) to hear Kevin’s perspective, as well. So we interview him about what their early marriage really looked like. We discuss:

• Kevin’s humble beginnings
• Sonja’s dad’s answer to, “Can I marry your daughter?” when Kevin asked
• The imperfections of their early marriage
• Disagreeing in front of your kids and what NOT to do
• The Closet Hideaway story
• The moment it all came to an ugly head

Resources: 

FREE GUIDE: go to bigmomentmentor.com/victory 

Or click on this link: Everyday Victory Over Conflict: 4 Steps for a Powerful Pivot from Surviving to Thriving

On average, 720 people will search “recovering from emotionally immature parents” on Google monthly. What does this mean? Adult children want healthy relationships with emotionally healthy parents. It certainly made us reflect on what parents can be doing to ensure they aren’t emotionally immature! We discuss:

• What defines emotionally immature parents 
• Sonja’s story of emotional immaturity as a mom (and as a woman)
• The journey that Godly maturity truly is
• Are you taking responsibility for your own maturity as a parent?
• Defining maturity (responding vs. reacting)
• Steps to becoming more aware of your level of emotional maturity

Resources:

FREE GUIDE: go to bigmomentmentor.com/victory 

Or click on this link: Everyday Victory Over Conflict: 4 Steps for a Powerful Pivot from Surviving to Thriving

There’s a lot of emotions surrounding graduation. It’s an exciting time for your kid, but it’s an exhausting (and sad!) time for you. You want to be there and make everyone else happy, and all the while you're stressed and sometimes you can even be sad. There's so much going on–planning a grad party is hard work! Sonja has hosted 3 large high school grad parties and a smaller college grad party as well, and she's got tips! So hang on tight as we talk about:

• Super practical tips for high school graduation parties
• Are you "just surviving" this season instead of thriving? How do you know?
• Sonja's biggest tip to enjoying the time (and all the emotions that come along with it)
• How your relationship with your child will change and grow through this time

Resources: 

FREE GUIDE: go to bigmomentmentor.com/victory 

Or click on this link: Everyday Victory Over Conflict: 4 Steps for a Powerful Pivot from Surviving to Thriving

“Mother Yourself Out of a Job” is a wonderful article written by Michele Morin. Both Sonja and Julia agree that what she has to say is valuable for empty nesters (or those nearing that season). We summarize the article, talk about what we agreed with, and we discuss some statements she made that we ultimately don’t come to the same conclusion when parenting adult kids. 

Due to a difficult situation that we are in at that moment, we admit our heightened emotions surrounding a particular statement and why the two of us disagreed with a part of the article (we talk about what’s going on in our lives and why it’s been hard recently!). We discuss:

• Julia's sweet, surprise message to her mom and all the moms out there (for Mother's Day!) 
• The danger of idolizing your kids (and the way that Michele Morin talks about it)
• Sonja’s experience being a helicopter parent vs being a parent who is involved
• What we should be doing as parents as we move toward empty nesting
• Sonja and Julia talk about the personal conflict going on between them right now and what it has to do with this article

Resources:

“Mother Yourself Out of a Job: Nurturing Children Toward Independence” by Michele Morin Article Link: https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/mother-yourself-out-of-a-job

FREE GUIDE: go to bigmomentmentor.com/victory or click on this link: Everyday Victory Over Conflict: 4 Steps for a Powerful Pivot from Surviving to Thriving

Let's talk teens and technology. On this bonus episode, we're going to be talking about what Sonja did, what she wishes she had done, what she could have done better when it came to her 3 teenage daughters and their phones/laptops/tv. We talk about:

- What boundaries Sonja and Kevin put in place (and what she wished she would have put in place)

- Steps to protect your teen's purity in this world that is vying for their attention at such a vulnerable age

- Phone calls/private messaging with the opposite gender (and why this is SO STINKIN' IMPORTANT!)

- Is it breaking your teen's privacy if you are aware and look at what's on their phone? 

Resources: 

FREE GUIDE: go to bigmomentmentor.com/victory 

Or click on this link: Everyday Victory Over Conflict: 4 Steps for a Powerful Pivot from Surviving to Thriving