Moments Matter

Today we dive into how the Enneagram has personally affected both Sonja and Julia on our spiritual walks with the Lord. This tool has changed our lives and shown us sins we never realized we were struggling with. In this episode we talk about:

• How the Enneagram can help us become aware of the "why" behind our actions (good and bad)
• What sin struggles Sonja has had as an Enneagram 8
• What sin struggles Julia has had as an Enneagram 4
• How the Enneagram helped them see their sins and how it helps them in their daily life to change those patterns

Resources: 

Get our Enneagram Beginner's Guide for free: https://www.bigmomentmentor.com/enneagram

Victory Guide: go to bigmomentmentor.com/victory or click on this link: Everyday Victory Over Conflict: 4 Steps for a Powerful Pivot from Surviving to Thriving

What is the difference between helping your kids and enabling them? We give examples from Julia’s childhood all the way into adulthood and how Sonja and Kevin learned to bless their kids well through each stage of high school, college, and adult life. Blessing your kids can be moments filled with joy and wonder, but how do you do bless them well in whatever stage your kids are enabling them and/or stunting their growth? We answer that question in today’s episode!

Also, we have a question for YOU in this episode and we’d love to hear your thoughts–so please share your answer to the question we pose. Just go to Instagram at @bigmomentmentor and comment under the episode 11 post! 

Resources:
Free Guide: go to bigmomentmentor.com/victory for your free guide or click on this link: Everyday Victory Over Conflict: 4 Steps for a Powerful Pivot from Surviving to Thriving

Sonja and Julia's relationship pretty much sucked during Julia’s engagement. Listen to part 2 of the Wedding Planning Process, where we get real honest today as we discuss how bad our relationship got for a while there. In Part 2 of the "Mom's Role in Her Child's Wedding," we talk a LOT about why it's important to know yourself and try to understand each of your adult children in the way THEY need it, not in the way it worked for one of their other siblings.  We dive deep into:

• Sonja's youngest daughter's wedding story and how it was SO different from the other two daughters' weddings
• Why it's crucial to listen to your adult children during their engagement
• Things may be different than you expected, how do you handle that?
• The reality of differences and what we learned from one daughter to the next
• What we wish we would have done differently (get ready to get real: Sonja offers an apology Julia has never heard before!)

Resources:

Go to bigmomentmentor.com/victory for your free guide: Everyday Victory Over Conflict: 4 Steps for a Powerful Pivot from Surviving to Thriving

There is so much STRESS involved in wedding planning, and it often revolves around relationships, finances, and… uh, well, relationships. We dive into some pretty vulnerable conversations about how Sonja handled all three of her daughters’ weddings and some practical ideas on what to do throughout the process (as the mother of the bride or groom). We cover:

• How Sonja and Kevin budgeted for each wedding and why it’s important to establish finances at the beginning of the planning process
• What expectations to talk through with your son or daughter when planning their wedding
• One thing Sonja did for each of her daughters that made their big day SO MUCH more special!
• The ugliness between Sonja and her daughters and how weddings can often expose your faults (and how to stop that from happening or possibly avoid it altogether!)

Resources:

Go to bigmomentmentor.com/victory for your free guide: Everyday Victory Over Conflict: 4 Steps for a Powerful Pivot from Surviving to Thriving

Let’s not resign ourselves to the mindset that just because they are teenagers means they are automatically going to be awful for the next 6 years of your life. Sonja gets a little heated on today's episode as she argues that we can ENJOY the teenage years and how much your parenting matters not only in the moment, but for their future as adults! It just takes work (like all satisfying practices in life, btw). Sonja and Julia discuss these topics: 

- The reality is: if you say and think it'll be terrible, it certainly will be terrible

- Mindset changes we can all make to love our teenagers in the BEST way

- Practical steps Sonja and her husband, Kevin, took to communicate with their moody teenagers and how it will affect their kids for the rest of their adult life (Julia is thanking her mom and dad for these things even now, at 23 years old!)

- How we can reflect our heavenly Father in our parenting when it comes to teenagers wanting to "be alone"

Is it really worth all the hassle of trying to vacation with your adult kids? Realistically, what does planning look like and how can you make it as SMOOTH as possible without as much tension, conflict, or drama? On this episode we discuss:

- The best practical conversations to have BEFORE you plan a vacay with your adult kids

- Why expectations should always be communicated and what expectations to set

- What Sonja would say to the grandmas and grandpas planning a trip with their kids AND grandkids

- #1 tip for vacationing with your adult kids

Resources: 

How to Cultivate a Healthy Relationship with Your Adult Kids : bigmomentmentor.com/health-relationship-with-your-adult-kids

Big Moment Membership : bigmomentmentor.com/big-moment-membership

Remember how the Enneagram was a fad, like, last year? Well to be completely honest, the Enneagram has been around for a lot longer than 2021... or 2020 (should I even mention that year out loud 🥴?). So what are the facts? As Christian women, dare we even CARE about the Enneagram? Are we fools to use the Enneagram even now, after all the stereotypes put out on the internet? (PSA: the internet is ALL about the stereotypes and behaviors and not what the Enneagram is really about!) On today's episode, we answer these questions (and more!) and talk about how the Enneagram has changed our marriages, our relationship with each other, and our spiritual and emotional growth. We cover:

- What's so different about the Enneagram vs. other personality tests?

- How should we use it as Christians?

- How is helps us understand our relationships with family

- Motivations vs. Behaviors (and why that matters!)  

Resources:  Christian Woman's Guide to the Enneagram : bigmomentmentor.com/enneagram 

CAN you find joy when your kids leave home and live far away? On today's episode, Sonja and Julia dive into how to handle all of the hard emotions of your kids living far away from (and practical ways to find joy in it all). Living far away from your kids is NOT easy, but there is hope to find joy in this season of life. Tune in to hear:

• What it was like for Sonja to help move her daughter 12 hours away
• Different children bring different emotions to the surface
• Where your true identity lies
• 4 practical ways to find joy even when it's really hard

Guide to Cultivating a Healthy Relationship with Your Kids : https://www.bigmomentmentor.com/healthy-relationships-with-your-kids

Big Moment Membership: bigmomentmentor.com/big-moment-membership

We are so thankful you are taking the time out of your day to listen in to the Moments Matter Podcast! We hope that if you resonate with what we chat about that you would join in on the conversation, leave a rating/review here (scroll to the bottom), and share it with your friends that have been through similar situations.

We want everyone to know that no one is alone in the chaos of this hard and beautiful life!

What is Empty Nest Syndrome and what should we do about it? Sonja’s been through it all–the sadness, fear, and guilt–and she’s ready to talk about what to do to lessen some of those difficult emotions as you look down the road to empty nesting or even if you’re already in the empty nesting years! Tune in to hear:

• The common signs of Empty Nest Syndrome
• How do your kids feel about leaving the house?
• Is the anticipation worse than the actual goodbye?
• Looking for God's purpose in it all

If Sonja could go back and start the process of empty nesting all over again, THIS is what she would tell herself.

Guide to Cultivating a Healthy Relationship with Your Kids : https://www.bigmomentmentor.com/healthy-relationships-with-your-kids

Big Moment Membership : bigmomentmentor.com/big-moment-membership

What do we do when we don’t agree with our adult children’s choices? Is there really a way to let them know we disagree without it ending in a huge conflict? We think there is!

Listen in as we cover: 

• The differences in response between the high school, college, and adulting stage 
• Practical, respectful ways to communicate that you disagree with their decision/behavior
• What it's like when they go ahead with their decision anyway

Free, Simple Guide to a Healthy Relationship With Your Kids : https://www.bigmomentmentor.com/healthy-relationships-with-your-kids (whether they are teens or adults!)

Big Moment Membership Details : bigmomentmentor.com/big-moment-membership