More Happy Life with Andy Proctor

In this episode we talk about increasing resilience through listening. We go into depth on many ways this is possible, but the one we really focus a lot on is getting present with our body. I loved this conversation. It calmed me down and I hope that it helps to calm you down as well. 

Here are some of the topics we covered:

More about Leslie Santos:

In practice for over seven years, Leslie Santos is a psychological archeologist, mindset cartographer and champion of the life-thirsty. She studied positive psychology under Martin Seligman at the University of Pennsylvania. It was while working with Seligman that she discovered how childhood adversity affects adult behaviors, an epic realization that catalyzed her mission and compelled her forward.

Her working model is that all humans experience childhood hardship and through this adversity protective adaptations are formed. Left unresolved, these adaptations become maladaptive in adulthood and block our momentum forward: every earnest step toward our desire is countered by an equal force in the opposite direction. These findings led to the development of her resilience process, designed for 1:1 mentorship and corporate human development for enlightened leaders.

Find Leslie here:

Website: https://www.benddontbreak.me/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/lesliesantos

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/leslie_santos/

Even if you don't watch the news, there is a lot going around right now about the coronavirus that can really be unsettling. This is why I decided to republish an episode that I created before about how I overcome anxiety and panic. The best way to protect yourself against a virus that has no vaccine is your own immune system. That's why it is important to know how to cope with anxiety. I hope these things help you as much as they have helped me. And I hope that you can find hope amidst the hype and panic. May you be well. 

Talking to strangers may seem like an anxiety producing task, but not if you have a place that is set aside to be friendly with your community. Today’s episode highlights community activist Lyndsey Young, the founder of The Friendly Bench, CIC.

In this episode we discuss why loneliness and social isolation are so hard and bad for your health as well as what can be done to overcome these things. We then talk about the story behind The Friendly Bench and why having a place where you can create deliberate connection is critical for a community.

Learn more about Lyndsey Young:

Lyndsey Young is the founder of award-winning The Friendly Bench CIC, a movement to tackle loneliness, social isolation and community disconnectedness using innovative outdoor social spaces that reconnect people back to their own community. Lyndsey created The Friendly Bench™ after suffering from loneliness and social isolation herself. Bringing together her extensive design knowledge and experience of working on nature and wellbeing projects, The Friendly Bench™ was born. Being closer to nature, active social spaces and bringing people together is what it’s all about – with community at its core.

Winning support from the UK’s Prime Minister; Loneliness Minister, Baroness Diana Barran, and national charities and campaigns tackling loneliness, as well as being featured in New York Times, Huffington Post and Reuters, The Friendly Bench™ network is growing, with further The Friendly Benches launching across the UK this year, The Friendly Bench CIC is also in talks with organisations in Australia and Canada to expand overseas.

I loved learning about The Friendly Bench from Lyndsey and I loved her kind optimism and gentle goodness. I really love what Lyndsey is doing because it’s not just trying to build awareness around loneliness and social isolation, but she is ACTING to make a change.

Find the Friendly Bench here.

Website: https://www.thefriendlybench.co.uk/

Insta: https://www.instagram.com/thefriendlybench/

FB https://www.facebook.com/TheFriendlyBench/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/Friendly_Bench

Have you ever felt lonely? Unfortunately, most people would answer yes. There is a loneliness epidemic going on in the world today and I am on a mission to help fight against it. So is Rite of Passage designer and TEDx speaker, Baya Voce. As I was researching loneliness, I found Baya's TEDx talk (with over 4 million views) on a simple cure for loneliness. This intrigued me and I knew we had to chat. It just so happened that serendipity wanted us to chat as well. My friend and former More Happy Life podcast guest, Doug Cartwright (see episode 120) happens to be friends with Baya and we got on the phone and made this episode a reality. 

We talked about some really life-changing principles here:

Baya also shares a never-before-published story of how she was able to use ritual to get through a major heart break that began on the TEDx stage. 

If you are going through something hard right now, you should listen to this episode. 

If you have ever gone through a major transition, you should listen to this episode.

If you have ever felt lonely, you should listen to this episode. 

Don't miss this one!

About Baya Voce:

Baya Voce is a Rite of Passage Designer, helping people turn their life transitions into rites of passage through ritual and ceremony.

She's known for designing and facilitating experiences ranging from two-person rituals and 20-person Jeffersonian-style dinners to 100+ person women's circles, elaborate 1,000+-person theatrical productions, and conferences at places like Lincoln Center.

Her TEDx talk on loneliness is one of the most-viewed of all time with over 4 million views. Baya has produced experiences in conjunction with brands like Lyft and Google Fiber, and has been featured by ABC, Fox, MTV, and SXSW for her perspective on human connection, given her prior years as a successful matchmaker. You can connect with her online at www.bayavoce.com or on @baya_voce on instagram. 

The future of work will be determined more by how we feel than how we are paid. This was said by Don Rheem in his TEDx talk given in 2018. I was sitting on the front row, riveted by his speech. I couldn't wait until it was edited and on YouTube so that I could start sharing it with my colleagues and manager. 

There isn't a labor surplus anymore and there likely won't be one for a while. What this does it it enables employees to choose between the best jobs. There are more unfilled jobs in America than there are unemployed people to fill those jobs, and it will likely be this way for at least the next 20 years. 

This is why it is so important for managers to prioritize making the workplace a place where their employees feel good. 

Listen to today's episode to learn more about how to be a manager who can do that as well as an employee who can find a job that you love. 

Find Don Rheem here:

His Book: Thrive By Design: The Neuroscience That Drives High-Performance Cultures

https://amzn.to/2PvEXoE

His Website:

https://www.e3solutions.com/

His TEDx Talk

https://www.ted.com/talks/don_rheme_how_can_work_save_our_relationships

Bio:

Don Rheem is an author and CEO of E3 solutions, a provider of employee workplace metrics which allows organizations to build engaged, high-performance cultures. He focuses on using science-backed research to consult with leaders at all levels within an organization. He is a former science advisor to both Congress and the Secretary of Health and Human Services. I first saw him speak at TEDxBYU a few years ago and you can find his ted talk by searching YouTube or TED.com for “Can Work Save our Relationships?” He is also the author of the book Thrive By Design: The Neuroscience The Drives High-Performance Cultures, published by ForbesBooks.

Read the full show notes at https://MoreHappyLife.co/indistractable

Do you get distracted? Do you struggle to stay on task and get taken down the digital rabbit hole more often than you would like? If the answer is yes, you’re not alone.

With all the technology that exists, if you aren’t deliberate about what you allow into your life, you’ll be bombarded. One study showed that the average US smartphone user receives 46 app push notifications per day!

I have experienced the overwhelm and frustration that comes from coming to the end of the day and realizing that I haven’t spent enough time on the things that I valued most. This is what I love about Nir Eyal’s newest book: Indistractable.

In my interview with Nir Eyal, we discuss that the source of our distraction may not be an undiagnosed case of ADHD, but that it is actually discomfort. And the critical factor for me was when he talked about matching our values with our calendars. Why? Because if we actually remember the values that are driving our calendar, it’s easier to do the things we plan. Otherwise, if our calendars do not align with our values, we will constantly be drawn away from them by even the smallest “shiny object” in our view (or our notifications).

This was a game changer for me!

Social media & technology are not our enemies. Our enemy is our own misalignment with our values that keeps us from experiencing what we most desire in life. We MUST prioritize values alignment or we will constantly be distracted.

How can you do this? Well, read the book! Also, here is an exercise the book inspired me to create for myself:

This exercise is life changing. Too many people feel down and get distracted on Monday (or any day) because they haven’t aligned their values with their schedule.

Is this you? Why do you keep doing things that don’t align with your values?

STOP IT!

Align with your values and be more happy!

Find Nir Eyal here:

Find more at: NirAndFar.com/Indistractable

The schedule maker tool mentioned is here: https://nirandfar.com/schedule-maker/

Summary article: https://www.nirandfar.com/skill-of-the-future/

And distraction guide here: https://www.nirandfar.com/distractions/

Habits vs routines article here: https://www.nirandfar.com/habits/

In episode 123, I speak with Stacy Sherman about the power of a transformational customer experience. Everyone is used to interacting with a business in a transactional way, but when a business can make a transaction into a transformation, that's when magic happens!

In our conversation we discuss how to make this happen by starting at the top and moving down. If the executives are seeking to increase their own wellbeing, they will naturally desire to make the wellbeing of their employees a priority. And when the employee wellbeing and happiness becomes a priority, it can impact the bottomline in a tangible way.

In other words, customer satisfaction begins with employee satisfaction and employee satisfaction begins with executive wellbeing.

We also discussed how a business can create a "wow moment" by simply connecting with their customers. I shared an example of going to Smashburger on my wedding day and being wowed and she shared an experience she had of being wowed during an experience with the owner of The Lodge at Woodloch who made a genuine connection with her and her family. It seems simple, but it's powerful and it keeps customers talking. Here I am talking about Smashburger and Woodloch!

Stacy's advice for people who want to have a more happy life:

She does this with an app she uses called The Five Minute Journal that prompts you to record your intentions for the day, what you're grateful for, what you will do to make your day go well, and how you could have improved the day. It's the simple things! If you don't already have a journaling routine to boost positive emotion, this sounds like a good app.

She also emphasized the importance of surrounding yourself with people who support your goals and who don't deflate your confidence. This is critical!

More About Stacy:

Stacy Sherman is known for expertise in designing & implementing successful Customer-Centric programs that differentiate Business (B2B) & Consumer (B2C) brands beyond price. She coaches individuals & leads teams to deploy best in class methodologies & closed-loop processes. She’s currently Director, Customer Experience (CX) & Employee Engagement at Schindler Elevator Corporation (USA), where she’s contributing to record-breaking Net Promoter (NPS) results, Y/Y revenue growth & portfolio protection. Recent accomplishments: 2019 Finalist “CX Leader of the Year” and “CXPA Impact” awards.

Besides CX, Stacy’s led Digital Marketing & Website Conversion Optimization for reputable brands of all sizes & budgets including Verizon Wireless, AT&T, Martha Stewart, ADP, Wilton and more. She’s produced multi-billion dollar sales while increasing customer satisfaction (C-Sat) and Effort scores within cost per acquisition targets.

Find and follow Stacy here:

Twitter (https://twitter.com/stacysherman)

Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/doingcxright/)

Doing CX Right (https://doingcxright.com/about-stacy-sherman/)

Thrive Global (https://thriveglobal.com/authors/stacy-sherman/)

Forbes (http://bit.ly/ForbesStacy)

Stacy's views are her own in this episode.

This episode comes from a chapter of my book Live Your Mission and it is all about surrounding yourself with greatness. If you feel like you are in a rut, take a step back and look at who you spend your time with each day and each week. If you don't believe in your dreams, then you need to diversify your friend group to include those who believe in their dreams. 

I hope this helps you today. Enjoy!

In today's episode I interview #1 New York Times best-selling author, Richard Eyre about his new book The Happiness Paradox. 

Richard's experience is that there are three main obstacles to happiness and joy:

When we are obsessed with seeking after these alone, it will be a never ending cycle of ultimate dissatisfaction. However there is a way to sustainable happiness according to Richard. To replace these three with three others:

We go into more detail about how you can move from control to serendipity, from ownership to stewardship, and from independence to synergicity. It's a beautiful conversation that really helps tap into some core issues we face when we want a more happy life. 

In addition, Richard made some special offers to all of the More Happy Life listeners!

1.  To get Happiness Paradox for 40% off and with free shipping just go to https://familius.com/eyre-special and use the access code ANDYFRIEND

2.  Check out the Instagram of the Eyres here  https://www.instagram.com/richardlindaeyre/ 

3.  If you're interested in their books on parenting, go to Valuesparenting.com or go to EyresFreeBooks.com is where you can see the list of all their books and get most of them free online or go to Theeyres.com

More about Richard and Linda Eyre: 

New York Times #1 Bestselling Authors Linda and Richard Eyre have seen their books sell in the millions and be translated into more than a dozen languages. Appearing on virtually every national talk show, including Oprah, Today, and CBS This Morning, the Eyres have also spoken and presented throughout the U.S. and in more than 60 countries. They are known for their teachings on parenting and have recently come out with a new book about happiness. Naturally, I wanted to talk to them about the book and I was lucky enough to get Richard on the phone for a very serendipitous conversation.

If you feel like you are not enough or that your life needs to change for you to be happier and healthier, Episode 120 is for you. In this episode I interview the founder of The Daily Shifts, Doug Cartwright. The Daily Shifts is an app that encourages you to engage with your mind and body in a way that can turn your day around. 

In this episode we talk about so many amazing things:

Sign up for The Daily Shifts at https://www.thedailyshifts.com/ and if you sign up for premium membership, you'll also get The Daily Shifts course that is worth $500. This is an amazing deal exclusive to More Happy Life listeners! 

More about Doug: 

Doug Cartwright is the founder of a new app called The Daily Shifts that helps you to ritualize daily physical and mental shifts to improve your health and happiness. Doug has an amazing story of going from being one of the top sales reps at Vivint, selling over 300 accounts per year having made over a million dollars by the time he was 25. Then he came to a point in his life where he realized he wanted something more than just making more money and buying more things. In today’s episode he shares the transformation of how he found his new purpose in creating daily shifts in his own mind and body through connecting to his intuition.

Follow Doug:

https://www.instagram.com/thedailyshifts/

https://www.instagram.com/doug_cartwright/

Other people mentioned in this episode:

Alicia Gettys

Jenna Nascimento

Michelle Gielan