To celebrate Valentine's Day we tell stories of love gone bad. What happens when the red heart of loves turns black? The OG Lorena Bobbitt. A determined wife. A chaotic wedding night. And inspiration for a Coen Brother's movie. Plus, Brian suggest great songs about love and not-quite-love

Oscars are happening, and MoviePass has died. Unsolved Mysteries was a creepy show, which ruined composite sketches for Brian forever. What's with fake long eyelashes, and how does body hair know to stop growing? Shoplifting might be a thrill, naps are perfect, and when it's okay to skip hand washing in the bathroom.

Bicyclists need to learn the rules of the road, Brett got rear-ended by a stolen car, organ transplant waitlists shouldn't exist, Brian has frequent nightmares, the guys want to go storm chasing. Why didn't Elisabeth Moss and Fred Armisen last? Brett ate raw garlic one time in high school. Brett and Brian recount the time they lost their car in Boston.

Brett hears old people arguing, and the mom from Goonies. Who approved Howard the Duck? Morganna the kissing bandit would never work today. Snack cakes and Buddig meat are on the decline. Was John Wayne Gacy inspired by Bozo? Love/hate relationship with microwave ovens.

Brett's 13-year-old son Brian sits in as guest host for this episode. Brett tries to convince him not to drink a beer. Cubs players keep their hands to themselves. A clown with poop on a pencil. Gruesome sports injuries. And Brian gets his head stapled without numbing first.

The guys discuss Brett's birth certificate ordeal, Kobe Bryant's death, the Treasury secretary can't write in cursive, and their middle school history teacher. Also, white chocolate sucks, but lemonheads are good!

Vagina scented candles, Brian tries to pee while eating pork rinds. The guys recount the trauma of going to college with chicken pox, whether our ancestors were tougher than us, and how to eat an ostrich.

Brian can't identify a substance in his sink. Brett's kids like to scare him. Is Ken Jennings the greatest? VW Bus. A celebration of boxed mashed potatoes, and warnings that will make you want to never sleep away from home again.

Brett tries a new beer while he and Brian discuss the downfall of boxing, NFL safety, why Brett isn't convinced about the effects of climate change, whether Oswald acted alone, the sad state of solar power, why Brett can't watch things he loves, and why old musicians won't talk about the past.

There's a letdown in stores after Christmas. Food expiration dates should be taken seriously...sometimes. Brian explains Dr. Pimple Popper and World Star Hip Hop. Brett has morbid thoughts at sporting events. And the Wrigley Field bleachers are the best.