Crystal and cohost have a friendly debate on the merits of the morg conspiracy theory of the week.

Crystal assures listeners she’s not nuts while describing the moving, fiber optical hairs that are glowing green and pink and growing from her head, as she is now a reptilian cyborg humanoid. “I prefer the pronoun it.” -CC

Crystal travels back to the year 2007 when the NIH rare disease catalogue included a reference to Morgellons that was subsequently deleted after being made public. “Fishier than a Wuhan wet market y’all!” -CC

Crystal ties two sketchy stories together in an amalgam of truth-like tales and unanswered questions. “Morgs found in Morgues. Duh.” -CC

Crystal challenges the online theory that morgellons is caused by something other than aliens. “It’s clearly aliens (this week) y’all.” -CC

Crystal simultaneously busts myths and spreads misinformation about subjects of which she knows little. “Prove me wrong, I am your rhesus monkey CDC.” -CC

Crystal reveals her “other disease” funnymynn’s syndrome, rants about dogs, and travels back to 2005 when the closure of AFIP was announced. “Your pets are my peeves.” -CC Music performed by the The Worms.

Crystal jumps right into this episode about excess deaths during the pandemic era with a parody song about the covert warfare tactics possibly being carried out by the CCP and its friends. “And on the taxpayer dime?” -CC

Crystal breaks the fourth wall, gets attacked by a pit bull, receives a miracle and loses her driving privileges. “And again I was humbled before I was empowered.” -CC

Crystal waffles on biofilms, adds another tune to an astonishingly large and cringeworthy catalogue of morgellon-inspired musical numbers and invites doubters to, “saddle up, bring your scope, sit down and take a look.”