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On the podcast this time, Steven and Sean are ridin’ into the sunset with the most rootinest-tootinest B-movie bonus episode on this side o’ the ol’ Mississipp. Saddle up, ‘cause we’re talkin’ ‘bout Barry Sonnenfeld’s 1999 film, Wild Wild West.
Wild Wild West (Yeah!)
[YEAH!]
Jim West, desperado
[Sean Anderson, ghostly podcast voice. Nice to meet ya.]
Roughrider, you don’t want nada
[Hey, don’t get so down on yourself. You’ve surely got lots to offer!]
None of this, six-gunnin’ this, brother runnin’ this
Well, actually (pushes glasses up nose), I believe it’s called a six-shooter. Not a six-gun. Actually, I don’t know anything about guns. Don’t listen to me.]
Buffalo soldier, look, it’s like I told ya
[I’ve got nothing for this. Buffalo Soldiers are a fascinating bit of United States history. It was a nickname originally given to members of the 10th Cavalry Regiment and came to be synonymous with all African-American regiments formed in 1866.]
Any damsel that’s in distress
[They’re gonna look at your butt, apparently.]
Be outta that dress when she meet Jim West
[Oh, I guess they’ll be doing more than just lookin’ at that butt. (Wink-wink.)]
Roughneck, so go check the law and abide
[Wait, what do oil rig workers have to do with this film? Did I black out between Kevin Kline talking about his supple bosoms and Branagh walking on mechanical spider legs inside a giant mechanical spider? What’s happening?]
Watch your step or flex and get a hole in your side
[Is that a threat?]
Swallow your pride, don’t let your lip react
[I think that’s a threat! Come on, man. I was supporting you a minute ago.]
You don’t want to see my hand where my hip be at
[What? You’re gonna shoot me now? What the hell?! Where is this animosity coming from? I’ve done nothing to you!]
With Artemis, from the start of this, runnin’ the game
[You leave Artemis Gordon out of this! You never supported him! What, you take down someone with the worst goatee ever and now you’re suddenly best buds? You didn’t earn his love, you son of a bitch!]
James West, tamin’ the west, so remember the name
[(BANG!) Ow! You shot me! You actually shot me! I’m not going to forget your name now, you bastard! James West, you just made yourself one hell of an enemy. I’ll be back. When you least expect it, I’ll be back. I’ll make you remember my name then! …Medic!]
(Recorded on August 02, 2021)
Links to Stuff We Mentioned:
Wild Wild West - IMDb
Wild Wild West trailer - YouTube
Inspector Gadget (TV Series 1983–1986) - IMDb
Will Smith - IMDb
Kevin Kline - IMDb
The Pursuit of Happyness - IMDb
Seven Pounds - IMDb
Collateral Beauty - IMDb
Men in Black - IMDb
Suicide Squad - IMDb
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